Have you had surgery and noticed your friends disappearing? Here is one member who has posted about this in our HysterSisters forum community:
It suddenly seems that those who consider me a friend (best friend in this case), seem to care less right now. And those who are near strangers are asking how I am and even offering help.
My “best friend” hasn’t even called to check on me. Or made any comments on my Facebook posts that I make. But people I barely know are saying “If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know.”
Has this happened to anyone else?
Have you had well-meaning friends offer to help when you tell them you are having surgery? Here is another question about support from family and friends:
Q: Friends and neighbors say: “Let me know if I can help.” How should we reply to them?
A: Ask them to prepare and bring over a meal, taxi your children somewhere, walk the dog, stop at the pharmacy and pick up a prescription, or vacuum or lift something.
Don’t miss out on an opportunity to provide a way they CAN help!
Read more FAQ for family and friends of the Hysterectomy Patient.
If you have wondered what to say to women who are grieving the loss of their uterus – here are some helpful tips.
Do NOT compare her surgery to your c-section. They are not the same. Not in any way. And adding your c-section thoughts resulting in a baby is hurtful.
Do NOT tell her she will feel so much better after her surgery. She may not. Tell her you hope she feels better soon and offer to bring a meal.
Do NOT tell her that waiting is the hardest part. Her recovery may have complications. Her surgery may not fix the pain. Her surgery may be for cancer. Waiting is rarely the hardest part of surgery.
Do NOT tell your stories of surgery. Use your ears and listen with your heart. Ask her about her loss. Ask her how you can help. And then follow through.
When you have a friend who is dealing with an upcoming hysterectomy or recovering from a hysterectomy, allow your friend to share her needs with you. Do not assume how she feels. Unless you know because you have been there and felt the same way, offer a listening heart and gigantic hugs instead.
Have you noticed that life is easier when you have friends? In fact whether you are walking through the best days of joy and celebration or the lowest difficult challenges, our lives are enhanced with friends.
Their presence in my life are like the chocolate chips in my cookie. They are like spice in my taco. They are flowers on a snowy day. They are sunshine when the day is cloudy.
I’m thankful for my friends. Like the gals in the forums at HysterSisters.com.
I’m continuing to share my list of gratitude throughout the month of November. If you are struggling with sadness or difficult circumstances in your life including your health, choose to make a list of gratitude. Your heart will be encouraged!
Practically every time I hear the Star Spangled Banner, my heart swells with pride and emotion. With my father serving in the Air Force as a career, I spent most of my childhood living on a military base. Every day at 5 p.m., the cars came to a standstill while the nation’s “colors” were ceremoniously retired for the evening as taps was played. And again, in the morning, the flag was unfurled and raised to the top of the pole. We didn’t watch a movie at the base theater until after the Star Spangled Banner was played with an image of the flag on the screen and we stood with our hands on our hearts.
I was raised with a strong sense of loyalty and patriotism for our nation. I’ve discovered that while this trait is evident in the way I still feel about our nation, its constitution and history, the teaching has girded me well for loyalty in other ways.
I find this kind of loyalty on the HysterSisters community forums. Our members are loyal to each other and share a sense of pride over the website. I’ve overheard women (whom I didn’t know) in an antique store talking about “The HysterSisters” in a tiny town in east Texas. I’ve introduced myself to new friends who exclaim – “I’m a HysterSister! I’ve been a member for ten years!” We’ve heard story after story of women who meet for the first time and discover they have shared experiences online at HysterSisters.com.
In some ways our community takes on the image of a cult. In other ways, the website is the strong, silent place where women can go in the middle of the night to learn she is not alone.
Once a HysterSister, always a HysterSister!
And don’t forget to fly your flag! Happy Fourth of July!
We have the most awesome members! They write the sweetest thank you “notes” to their honeys in our Dear Honey forum. It’s a public way for our members to thank their family and friends.
Sometimes they write to a friend who helped them.
Sometimes they write to their children.
Sometimes they write to their husband.
Sometimes they write a poem.
Sometimes they write the most beautiful prose.
Sometimes they are mushy. Sometimes they are hilarious.
Every one of the letters is a peek into the grateful heart of our members. We have the best members ANYWHERE!