Husband Doesn't Seem to Understand Hysterectomy Needs

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Husband Doesn't Seem to Understand Hysterectomy Needs

Husband Doesn't Seem to Understand Hysterectomy Needs

Date : 08-06-2004 - 05:33 AM - Readers : 29031

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My husband doesn't seem to get it. He assumes that since my hysterectomy was last week that I should be better by now. I'm still hurting and trying not to overdo things. He expects dinner on the table and the laundry to be done. I need help with our kids! Help?

The seriousness of a hysterectomy and the extensive recovery involved is often not readily understood by the patient, let alone her husband! Unfortunately, when they arrive home from the hospital, some women discover that their husband seems “clueless” about how restricted she will be during her convalescence, and how long those restrictions need to last. Some spouses don’t seem to understand that a hysterectomy patient cannot arrive home and jump right back into cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and caring for children….and it may take several weeks of steady rest and recuperation before she can slowly ease back into her routine. It can be very upsetting if your husband seems unsupportive, unsympathetic, and disappointed in you, and that can only add to the stress you already feel.

If your husband seems to be acting different, it could be that he is worried about your expectations of him, in terms of his role in your healing, and being in charge of running the household. If he seems withdrawn and distant it may be that he is experiencing anxiety about how both of you are going to manage while you are recovering. It may comfort you to remember that what you have gone through has probably been a bigger emotional strain on your husband than he has revealed. Your hysterectomy has been a trying experience for him, and now may be the time to extend your husband a little latitude, give him some time to adjust, and allow him to mentally heal from this, too.

Some women have said they think it’s a good idea to keep wearing a robe and pajamas for at least a couple of weeks after you get home from the hospital. It signals to everyone in your household that you are still convalescing. Once you resume getting dressed in your regular clothes each day, your husband may assume you are back to full capacity, so keep “dressing like a patient” as long as you need to.

Hystersisters.com has a special section of the site that was developed just for husbands, Mister Hyster Sisters. Try to persuade him to take a look at it. And consider doing both of you a favor by purchasing the Mister Hyster Sisters Guide (electronic book). It contains just about “everything a husband needs to know” to be the best partner possible during this challenging time.

This content was written by staff of HysterSisters.com by non-medical professionals based on discussions, resources and input from other patients for the purpose of patient-to-patient support.

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