 TAH - It only hurts when I laugh |
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TAH/BSO - Only when I laugh
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On the 22nd of Nov 04 I had to ring the castle to see if my bed would be waiting for me, yes said the Chatalaine, do come at 3pm and all will be waiting for you. Aunt Flo had arrived a couple of days before so she was getting the best eviction notice I could think of.
So my Knight in Shinning Armour (hensforth referred to as KSA) came with me to carry my bags, whilst I carried my pillow.
We arrived on time and was told to go straight to the chambers prepared for me.
There I was told that my Consultant wanted a word with me so my surgery was now going to be on the 23rd, but I would be staying overnight.
Along came my Consultant at about 5pm and said I don't want to do this surgery on you, I want to do an Ablation and see how you go. I started crying and my KSA came to my rescue to defend my rights and the choice of my mind. It was eventually agreed that I would have a TAH and I would only have my Ovaries removed if there was any sign of disease or cysts, my Cervix was going to cut that risk out (Cervical Cancer in family)
I was told I would go to surgery the next day at 3pm. I had my last cigerette at 7 that night, determined not to have anymore untill home or if I could take it, never again.
I was given an electric bed that did everything but make itself 
I was awoken at 5.30 to have a light breakfast of toast that I was almost too nervous to eat and a cup of coffee, then came the waiting, my KSA and I had decided to not see each other untill after I came round in the evening.
The A-Man came to see me and we discussed procedure, we agreed on an Eppidural along with a General as he tought it would be best for my Asthma and weight, he gave me enough confidence to go to sleep untill they came to take me to the theater. I travelled in style to the Prep room on my wounderful bed then everyone came out to say hello and explaine there jobs to me, my A-Man expalined exactley what he was going to do with the Eppidural and how it would feel, I griped the pillow I was told to hug to my tummy and a nurse offered her my hand, I joked with her that the pillow would do as she may need her hand later in the theater, this set the whole team off in laughter. My legs went heavy, then warm and then compleatly dissapeared.
'Here we go' said my A-Man and I remember no more.
'Hows the pain?' was the first words I can remember being said to me. 'On what scale?' 'On a 1 to 3' I thought a moment '3 definatley a 3'
'OK push this button' I did ... relief.
I was back on the ward, a bay with 3 other beds. The next thing I knew there was a big fuss going on around my bed 'We are going to transfer you to a special ward, you had a cardiac event and you are going to the Cardiac Care Unit, who do you want us to call?'
'My KSA, and tell him why' (I found out later that they only told him I had had a complication and he worried for the worst case senario untill he got there)
So there I was on high dose Morphine totaly out of it when this Profesor came to see me 'You have had a Massive Myocardial Infarction, we will soon get that weight off you and stop you smoking, don't worry'
I went into total denial. Every few minutes I was asked how the chest pain was, what chest pain? I don't have any, I never have had any chest pain.
I got the Morphine Itch and pulled one of my Canulars out trying to scratch myself, blood everywhere. the the BP Cuff opened it up a few minutes later, so once again, blood everywhere. For some reason I found this very funny, that was the first time I tried to laugh. I asked my KSA if we had saved the Elephants and when I was up and about later would he like me to buy the callender with the Wild Dogs on it?
The next day I was taken by a porter for a chest x-ray, another porter moved my chair and managed to disconect my drain so I was rushed back to CCU to have another bottle connected, which made me feel very sick and faint when done. These were my days in the Dungeon of the Castle.
2 Days later I was back on the surgical ward, off the Morphine & on oral pain meds, this is when I found out what had happened. Just as they were closing I had had a Tachycardic event with my heart racing up to 150 I was given a drug to bring it down and the A-Man got it down to 120. I was moved to Recovery and my heart slowed down to 8, the A-Man had to give me something to bring it back up, he had to poison me to keep me alive.
My Surgeon had removed my enlarged Uterus (10 week pregnancy) but had left both Ovaries even though one of them had had a large Cyst on it (small orange size) I will find out why at the six week check up.
This incident set me back a few days as they didn't want me to mobilse to quickly, the Physiotherapist came to see me about how to mobilise and exersise and I was finally allowed out of bed, I started to walk the wards.
The Sunday came and I had half my staples removed, the drain came out (my Gods that was the strangest, wierdest and most painfull thing I have ever had done,) then the Catherter came out, within an hour I was peeing a full bladder and didn't look back on that (its still painfull if I have a full bladder, but it is the least of my problems) The next day my Surgeon came to see how I was doing and check my wound. Infected, so I had to have special wound dressings and heaps of Anti-biotics.
Then the 'Demon Night Nurse from Hell' came on shift, she moved my chair to make my bed on the first morning and then told me to move it back myself! (another nurse did it for me) I was suposed to have an Anti-biotic Per-Rectum, I was given the tablet to do it myself, you have no idea how hard that is to do, I did manage to get that one change to oral. I was deniged pain meds the next night from middnight untill 6am, so I complained to my Surgeon. The next night she stood over me and made me take all my night time pain meds at one time so that 'She could get a quite night with no complaints from anyone' I complained again the next day about her behaviour. A typical bully I found her weakness (snakes) and showed her a picture in a Mag my KSA had brought me of a Rock Python eating a Gazelle ... She ran.
Every day I was told I would be going home the next day and when the next day came they found another reason to keep me. The last straw was my BM's or rather my lack of, on Sunday I asked for a Laxative, even though I hadn't been eating much I knew I should have been producing waist. The Laxative worked in a half hearted fashion, 2 days later I requsted another, which didn't work, by now I was in agony so out came the dynamite. I understand that rich woman pay hundreds for a good Colonic Irrigation, I got mine free on the NHS 
I think it was more like Nitro than Dynamite 45 mins & 3 flushes later I felt almost human & totaly rung out, I slept well that night.
My A-Man tracked my down to find out how I was (he had visited twice before when I was on a ward trundle and I missed him, then he caught up with me on his third visit, he was pleased to see me looking so well (he was worried that I would be depressed and mopping about in bed after what had happened) I thanked him for saving my life. We had a chat and a laugh and he left looking a lot happier about me.
That night my KSA came in to see me (he never missed a night for the whole ten days he ended up looking as though he needed my bed more than I did) and he started to tell me about all the stupid things I had been doing and saying under Morphine and I started to laugh, I hugged my pillow to my tummy and howled with laughter with tears streaming down my face from the laughter and the pain, the other patients were getting worried and called a nurse as I was crying out 'No, no it hurts, stop it, stop it. No more please! The nurse looked round the curtain to see me rolling around the bed clutching my pillow and laughing my head off.
'Are you in much pain dear?' was the question.
'No, no, it only hurts when I laugh' I replyed.
On the 2nd of Dec I was told I could go home at 10.30 in the morning all I had to wait for was a wound nurse to check me out and arrange for a nurse to change my dressing at home on monday and then the Dr could sign me out. I finally made my escape at 6pm.
We have all seen the Sci/Fi movie where if the prisoner steps over a certain line their head will explode because of the collar loaded with explosives around their neck? Well as I steped through the door of the ward my KSA started make a rapid beeping noise, I finished it off with a ker-boom! We both started laughing again.
The couple of freinds who I allowed to come to see me in the Castle have said the improvement in me even in this short of time is nothing short of amazing and I'm looking so well and relaxed.
I feel like the new woman I hoped I would become, yes I'm tender, but its a differnet kind of discomfort, yes my bowls are still sluggish (I have been told this is a problem with Eppidurals) but I am going every day. I go back to the ward on Thursday to see how my wound is and I have to see the Cardiology team to try and find out what my glitch was/is, I have my 6 week check up to look forward to and then the rest of my life.
This is my story, it will be nothing like the ones that have gone before me and nothing like the ones that come after. We are all different and all recover at a different rate (the nurses were amazed at how fast I mobilsed and got on with things, they wished all there patients could be that good)
So don't let my story put you off, as yours will be nothing like mine 
My thanks to this site for the support over the last few months and I look forward to trying to help new LIW get through the wait to being a Princess.
Related Titles
TAH/BSO - Only when I laugh
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Hysterectomy News May 24,2013
