 TAH - Luwanda, Patient Warrior, Roommate from HELL |
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Hiya Monday Princesses (especially), but ALL future Princesses too
I just thought I'd write this little story to give you something to do between bowel prep runs (sorry) tomorrow, and take your mind off things for a minute or two...
And a word of warning - Sister Luwanda (I don't think she's here on this board) is NOT taking care of herself and she may wind up as your roommate too! Yes, she was wheeled into my room at 0300, in the wee hours, the second night I was there. She was Baaaack, and my suspicion is that some of the nursing staff remembered her well.
She moaned, or rather shouted - all night. She carried on endlessly and was generally ignored, so it got louder, and Louder, and LOUDER! This being my 2nd night after surgery, I already felt like my head had been placed between two cymbals and gonged - and I was really zoned on the Morphine, but through the din and the fog, the Call of Luwanda summoned every mangled nerve ending that I had, to complete attention. Luwanda, the PIA of the world. Making her presence known. The nursing staff, at first was very sympathetic and attentive, and came to the room every 15 minutes, at her calling. Now, after a few hours of this, the staff got wise and started 'not hearing' her calls... This didn't stop Luwanda, Patient Warrior! For behold, the hour of 0500 arrived along with an entire shift change of fresh, new and unsuspecting nurses (pity them, they didn't read the floor reports)
Repeat Scene 1: Nursing attentiveness diminishes into deafness...
Now, by this time I had PCA pumped myself into oblivion the night before, but now nada, zip. That thing was empty - drugs be gone! I fumbled around, heroically, in my silent but excruciating pain for hours, it seemed, until I was able to come up with the Nurse Call Button. Oh happy day, help would be on the way! I buzzed, a cheery Nurse's voice answered, and then L U W A N D A said - would you come in here NOW. I NEED HELP! (that was her standard line, every time) I was robbed! My nurse call was swiped right out from under me! I called again, the Nurse answered on the intercom - and before I could talk, LUWANDA again! Same thing! By now I am just dying...I mean, I really, really need some pain meds, please?
So, with the lamest, (remember, your mouth is like the Mojave Desert) threatening voice I could come up with, I said 'Luwanda, if you do that again, I'm coming over there and ripping that NG tube outa your nose and you won't like it'. (she didn't know I couldn't possibly get out of bed) She grumbled something I couldn't understand...Once again, I pressed the Nurse Call Button...nothing.
No one came.....waiting.....did it again....same thing. Uh-oh. The realization hits that No One is coming, ever. (still no pain meds)
So, my sisters - this is getting much too long and I must wrap it up.... I'll end it by saying that if you should get Luwanda as your roommate - here is how you have to ask your nurse for help - you press the Nurse Call Button. When they answer, pretend you're on a TV game show - answer the fastest and the first - say this: "Oh dear nurse, this is (insert name) in the (front/back) of room (blank), who NEVER calls you or asks you for anything, but when you get a chance, can you please come here and (fill in the blank)?
This, and only this, is how to get past Luwanda, Patient Warrior, PIA, and Roommate from HELL.
joano
(hoping Luwanda's all better now)
Related Titles
HysterSisters Booklets for Hysterectomy Patient Distribution
TAH - My Castle Experience and roommate, "Sweet Pea"
LAVH/BSO - Out-patient Lavh
SAH-LSO - Scared a nurse, roommate could have blown us up - Debbie37
Linda Green, M.D.
3001 Coral Hills Dr., Suite 300
Coral Springs FL 33065
954-341-2916 |
Bruce Pierce, M.D.
2 Princess Road
Lawrenceville NJ 08648
609-896-0777 |
Ruslana Kadze, M.D.
5525 Etiwanda Avenue
Suite 228
Tarzana (Los Angeles) CA 91356
818-343-1717 |
David Shifrin, M.D.
3001 Coral Hills Dr., Suite 300
Coral Springs FL 33065
954-341-2916 |
Albert Odom, M.D.
1301 taylor st
suite 6j
columbia SC 29201
803-254-3230 |
Michael Wong, M.D.
4282 Genesee Ave
Suite 201
San Diego CA 92117
858-268-0300 |
John Garofalo, M.D.
30 Stevens St. Ste A.
Norwalk CT 06850
203-855-3535 |
Chanda Reese, M.D.
3001 Coral Hills Dr., Suite 300
Coral Springs FL 33065
954-341-2916 |
Stephanie Cross, M.D.
1932 Alcoa Hwy
Knoxville TN 37920
865-546-1642 |
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