 TAH/BSO - My Journey Into Hysterland |
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First of all, I must warn anyone with any sort of weak stomach, this story has some not-so-pretty visuals in it, I do not want to make anyone sick or angry with me. This is my story:
I have had cramps since I began menstruating at the age of 13 but usually could get rid of them by using a hot water bottle on my tummy for an hour and then back to normal routine til my next one. Life continued this way through adulthood, and as I look back on it now, it was just normal.
I had three children when I was 21, 27, and 28. I was on the pill after my second child when I found out 6 months later I was pregnant with my third. After throwing the pill case as far as I could before it smashed to the ground LOL, my then-husband-now-ex and I talked about the need to do something more permanent after our third was born. He, being the humongous chicken he is, refused to be the one to do it, so I hesitantly agreed to have a tubal. My OB/GYN at the time said that everything looked healthy while he was in there. This was in September of 1998. Starting in October of 1998 and increasing in intensity every month as if it were a snowball rolling downhill, my cramps started getting worse, and the more women I talked to who had also had tubals had much the same story, so I attributed my pain to just that, the tubal. And to this day, I do not know if that was the case or not. All I DO know is that I regret not maintaining my gynecological health. My doctor had moved out of town and it was much too far for me to drive, even once a year, and somehow I had convinced myself that it was ok, and somehow "forgot" that I needed to find a new doctor.
The years past and I still had not gone back since my post-tubal 6 week checkup to visit an OB/GYN. I now regret that decision, but glad I finally went. I only chose another doctor because I was tired of hurting so badly I would be completely incapacitated whenever my periods would come. I had little to no warning more than 2 or 3 minutes before I was going to start, which was usually in the mornings. I would not be able to make it from the bathroom back to my bedroom to get dressed before the horrifying cramps would hit me and I would practically have to fight myself to keep moving or I would be a ball on the floor trying not to scream and scare my kids. I would take copius amounts of OTC pain pills, meanwhile adding to my ulcers and HBP but I had to choose the lesser of the two evils. The last straw was when I woke up screaming and rolling back and forth in my bed, drenched down past my knees in blood. I woke my boyfriend (obviously) and he was scared to death, not knowing what was wrong with me until he turned on the light and pulled back the covers. He immediately jumped out of bed to get me some towels, a glass of water, some pills, and a hot water bottle. He brought all but the hot water bottle because it was leaking, only to find me passed out cold from the sheer pain I was in. I came around a couple minutes later to him patting my face with a cold washcloth and the phone in his hand asking me if I wanted him to call 911. I told him no but I needed something to get rid of the pain. Then I remembered some Vicoden that he had left over from his abcessed tooth a few months before. I struggled to get up and told him I was going to go shower to clean up and try to get the hot water to help me. I opened the cabinet to find his pills, and out of absolute desperation, quickly swallowed three. This, as I found out very soon, was too much. Within 30 minutes I was vomiting, in a cold sweat, and my eyes rolling back, having trouble breathing normally, my heart feeling like it was going to beat out of my chest. I knew what had happened, I had overdosed, but I didn't want him to know so I just stayed in the bathroom until I felt better. Since I vomited up most of the medication, it didn't take long and I was feeling able to leave the bathroom to go back to bed, wearing 4 overnight pads in my underwear and lying on 3 huge bath towels. Within 4 hours I had soaked through it all. I was frustrated, scared, and to the point that I knew something HAD to be done or I was going to end up dying or killing myself with medication. So when my period was over, I started asking around to my friends and co-workers if they knew of a good OB/GYN in the area. Funny enough, 9 of 10 said the same doctors name, so I decided to call him.
I made the appointment and went to see him. He immediately made me feel so comfortable and happy I had finally found someone. He did my pelvic and breast exam. He then scheduled me for a mammogram because he felt a lump in my right breast and an ultrasound because my uterus was larger than normal. I went three days later to the hospital for both.
I had the mammogram, and thankfully, they found nothing wrong, and even did a complimentary ultrasound to be absolutely positive. Then I had the ultrasound on my "female goods". This, however, did not return as good of results, as I found out the next day at the follow-up appointment with my doctor. He said that they found my uterus was indeed greatly enlarged, and that on my left ovary was a dermoid cyst. I had never heard of such a thing, and in case you haven't either, I will tell you what he explained to me. He said that basically, in the simplest way he could put it, my ovary tried to make a baby, and since it didn't get fertilized, it attatched itself to the outside of my ovary. This cyst contained things like bone, teeth, hair, oils, fatty tissues, etc. He also said that they can sometimes get larger and heavier and end up twisting the ovary, causing severe pain and the need for emergency surgery to remove it, so in any case, my left ovary would need to come out. He then continued to tell me that there was an "ambiguous" mass on my right ovary (meaning that they couldnt tell what it was from the ultrasound) so there would need to be a biopsy done on it to see what it was. But in the mean time, he wanted to do a D&C to try to alleviate my menstrual cramps and to provide the insurance company with what they required in case I indeed needed to have a hystorectomy.
The D&C was done, and I waited on my first period to follow it, and would need to have a second one to see what the true results of the proceedure was. To my suprise, I had very little discomfort in my period but when my third one hit, it was just as bad as it had been before. I called his office and said that I needed to see him again. At this appointment we decided that the hystorectomy seemed eminant and to tell the truth, I honestly wanted it. I was so tired of hurting so badly, bleeding so profusely, and passing blood clots the size of my fist that I would have said he could use a Hoover, just take it all out! We then had to make the decision of what I wanted to do with my right ovary. I told him that if we could save it (if it was non-cancerous) then I wanted to do so, to avoid having to go on HRT post-op. He agreed to try everything he could to save it and we scheduled my surgery two weeks later.
The day finally came, one week ago today, and I was both nervous and relieved, knowing that no matter what, I was never going to have another period again. I went into surgery at 7:30 a.m. and was in recovery by 10:15. The surgery took a little longer than planned because during closing, I was bleeding a little more than I should be. Upon further investigation, he found I had a small blood leak at the top part of my vagina. He sewed it up, made sure there was nothing else, and packed my vagina full of packing to stop any bleeding and then continued to close, which went very well. He was unable to save any part of my right ovary because I had endometriosis on it with adhesions of scar tissue built up around it, which was the cause of my intense pain in it during my period. But, thankfully, at least it was not cancer. So ended up I lost both ovaries, uterus, and cervix in the operation.
I was in the hospital for four days, and things went very well, better than I expected, actually. The only snag was the gas buildup in me. I swear to the heavens above, I have never wanted to fart so badly in all my life and I honestly begged the Lord to just let me break wind. Two enimas, four cups of hot tea, a cup of soda-water, and a total of three hours of walking the halls later, I finally was relieved and slept several hours, which was much better than the one to two hours I was getting post-op. I have now been home for 3 days and have enjoyed not having to go to work and actually being able to read, relax, and watch some daytime television!!
I am looking forward to the future without pain. The post-op pain I am experiencing so far is just the tiny tip of the iceburg of how I felt before with my cramps. My only worries and concerns now are how this HRT is going to go, if and when I can or should go off of it, and how my sex life and labido is going to be when I am healed. I know that all things will work themselves out but I tend to be one of those who worry about things before I should LOL.
I hope to hear your story. Please let me know if you have had anything similar or if you have ever heard of a dermoid!
Kristen
Related Titles
My journey to and from my TAH
My Journey
TAH/BSO - What A Journey It's Been!
TAH - My Journey
LAVH/BSO - Jennifer's Joyful Jaunt to Hysterland
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