Single. Childless. My Heart is Breaking. - Hystersisters Hysterectomy Article

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Single. Childless. My Heart is Breaking.

Single. Childless. My Heart is Breaking.

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I honestly had no idea just how much this decision would hurt my heart. My body has been in pain for so long that when my doctor told me that we couldn't delay the hysterectomy any longer I was actually a bit relieved. But now this new pain, this heartache, is almost unbearable. I've never married and have no children. Neither of these were by choice, it just never happened. That has always been difficult in itself to deal with but I always had hope. This all seems so final to me. I will never carry a child in my body...never know the feeling of it growing inside, hearing the heartbeat for the first time, the ultrasounds, the swollen feet, cravings, heartburn.

Yes, I wanted to experience it all; the good and the bad. Now...nothing...ever. And who will want a broken woman? How do I even attempt to consider a relationship when I could never create a life for them. And what man would want that? I feel empty and broken.

I have friends and family that are so supportive right now but I don't think I have ever felt more alone. All I know to do is pray that the path I am on is God's perfect plan for me. I just don't know what else to do.

From the hearts of the HysterSisters, their replies:

"I'm sorry, i know that these words are hollow compared to your pain and the feeling of emptiness."

"I totally understand where you are coming from, I am in the same boat. No hubby, no kids, totally NOT by choice. There are days I get very sad because I know I will never experience carrying my own child. However, the eternal optimist that I am, I refuse to say I'm broken. I had an evil uterus that was causing so much pain it actually prevented me from being able to live my life. It needed to be evicted. Grieve the loss, it is a huge loss. Yell, scream, cry, whatever works for you (I'm a cryer). Talk to your friends and family, it is good to have their support. If you don't feel they can fully comprehend the overwhelming sorrow, post here or send me a private message. I pray that God grants you peace to know you are on His perfect path for you, even though it is far different than the one you had envisioned. "

"Many hugs for you. As you are already finding out, there are just no easy answers."

"Please don't ever feel broken or less than whole. As another poster mentioned, I feel whole now that I am HEALED. I don't feel any less of a woman because I no longer carry a uterus or ovaries. A man does not nake love to ur uterus or ovariess...if they are broken get rid of them. Don't look back. Grieve for your lost visions of what you thought would be, then heal yourself body and soul and go enjoy your life."

"I was single and childless when I had my hysterectomy. My surgery was an emergency and happened so quickly that I didn't have time to process any of it. The emotional pain felt like more than I could bear at times. But, I will tell you that you are not a broken woman and I have found men to be very open. The good ones are concerned about you, your pleasure and your happiness. They don't see you as less of a woman and you are not in any way broken. "

"It is a MASSIVE loss and one that you can only really understand if you are going through it. I have been talking with a therapist once a week to help sort through my feelings. Seeing a therapist doesn't 'make it all better', nor is it the 'cure' to anything. But, one thing that it is helping me do is talk to someone about this grief. I didn't actually cry in her office until LAST WEEK about never having children. I didn't really let myself cry to anyone else until last week. Oh my, it was needed and this is VERY REAL.Take care of yourself and be good to yourself right now. You need your health and I will be praying for you!"

This content was written by staff of HysterSisters.com by non-medical professionals based on discussions, resources and input from other patients for the purpose of patient-to-patient support.

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Recommended for Hysterectomy Recovery

The HysterSisters Store has gathered products made specifically for your recovery from surgery. Here are the best sellers we can recommend to help you:

The Great Binder Set - We have made it very easy for you and combined the two best binders and the Silky Sac into a great set to save you money! Our favorite is the Perfect Pocket binder with cold/hot packs!
Deluxe Hyst Prep Set - As you plan, we've gathered the best products into one set for special pricing.
Post-Op Panty - These great panties speed recovery, and reduces scarring. They contain a medical-grade silicone panel over incision to reduce scar's apperance while they provide support to weakened muscles and tissues from surgery. Excellent!
Softest Bra Ever - When you want to wear something, but feel nothing. This is the softest bra ever, in microfiber with no hardware or tags to chafe or dig! The comfort-ribbed underband stays in place gently, so it is perfect for sleeping and lounging.
HysterSisters Accessory Kit - Are you a HysterSisters fan? This set has a fun collection of HysterSisters items.
Very Private Moisture - Once your doctor gives you the green light for intimacy, this is the stuff! This is a best selling product with a high rate of permanent, satisfied, repeat customers! Relieves vaginal dryness instantly, protects tissue & enhances intimacy. "Buy it for the problem, use it for the pleasure."

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Find A Doctor Near You

Robert Furr, M.D. Women's Surgery Center 1604 Gunbarrel Road Chattanooga TN 37421 4238996511	Scott Dinesen, M.D. 599 W State Street Suite 301 Doylestown PA 18901 215 489-2066	David Newman, M.D. 10030 Edison Square Drive, Suite 100A Concord NC 28027 704-403-7670
Susan D. Hunter, M.D. 626 Ed Carey Dr Harlingen TX 78550 956-428-4868	John Lenihan, M.D. 314 ML King Jr. Way Suite 104 Tacoma WA 98465 253-403-5432	Elizabeth Stevenson-Gargiulo, M.D. 9101 North Central Expressway Suite 250 Dallas TX 75231 214-826-2979
Brad Cohen, M.D. 2477 Route 516 Suite 103 Old Bridge NJ 08857 732-679-6900	Clifford Rogers, M.D. The Everett Clinic, Dept. of Surgery and Gynecology 1330 Rockefeller Ave, Suite 120 Everett WA 98201 425 339 5424	Ken Sinervo, M.D. 1140 Hammond Dr., Ste. F6220 Atlanta GA 30328 770-913-0001

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