Possible Cancer Diagnosis - Feeling Alone and Sad - Hystersisters Hysterectomy Article

		HysterSisters > Comfort for Aching Hearts Articles
Possible Cancer Diagnosis - Feeling Alone and Sad

Possible Cancer Diagnosis - Feeling Alone and Sad

From the Comfort for Aching Hearts Articles List

HysterSisters Articles

Options to Hysterectomy
Pre-Op Hysterectomy
Post-Op Hysterectomy
Hormone and Menopause
Intimacy after Hysterectomy
Pelvic Floor
Fitness after Hysterectomy
GYN Cancer
Grief and Loss
Endometriosis
Uterine Fibroids
Hysterectomy Stories
Ask A Doctor

My doctor said it could be cancer. And now, all the years of struggling with infertility is upon me again. I've always wanted to be a mom. I wasn't able to do it myself, and my life situation at that point made adoption unlikely. It took months, but I was finally able to come up with a new vision of how my life could be meaningful with having a child. But still, years later, the pain still lurks just under the skin and any scratch - seeing a pregnant woman, finding myself in the baby food and diaper aisle of the store, watching "Juno" - brings it back to the surface.

So now I'm faced again with the fact that my parts are broken and defective, and that I am broken and defective. That my body is so messed up it needs medicine to make it work, but that my mind is so messed up it can't tolerate the medicine. I feel like a mistake of nature, an evolutionary and biological dead end. I, an only child, have robbed my parents of their only chance to become grandparents. That I'll be forgotten five minutes after I die and my life will have been meaningless.

Oh, I know, that thinking is all wrong. I'm more than my ability to have children. There are other ways to live a life of meaning. I know. I get it. But that doesn't stop me from feeling the way I do. It doesn't stop me from saying these things to myself when there's nothing around to distract me.

I am not depressed or suicidal now, even though I have cried my eyes out. Literally. I've torn up three contact lenses in the past week from all the crying. But I'm not hopeless about life. I want to live. I'm terrified of cancer. I want to live to an old age and, yes!, there are now things I want to do and things I want to be that do not involve having children.

But these body parts of mine. I vacillate between hating them so much I could cut them out myself, and grieving at their potential loss.

I suppose that's not so unnatural, is it?

You are very brave to share your thoughts and feelings with us. Whenever the word Cancer is mentioned the brain just stops and whirs. You are revisiting previous trauma as you face the unknown of what may be coming. And, because the possibility of cancer is not something you can control, it reminds you of other things you couldn't control.

What is important right now is that you get the input for your possible cancer diagnosis from a GYN oncologist. These specialist will provide you with the extra experience and information to help you through your diagnosis and if needed, your treatments. Making sure you have the best of the best is actually adding power tools to your tool belt.

By concentrating on what you can control: selecting the best doctors with the best skills, you will be helping your emotional health both now and in the future.

Find friends who have been through GYN cancer diagnosis. Visit with them and ask them about their feelings. You will find that what you are feeling is very similar and you are not alone. These friends understand the impact that cancer head and follow-up visits can have on your psyche and emotions. They also understand that giving back to others who are on this journey can be a healing experience. Giving back to others becomes a way of mastering and giving meaning to the diagnosis.

Keep your chin up and remember to concentrate on those things you can manage. First things first. We are cheering for you!

This content was written by staff of HysterSisters.com by non-medical professionals based on discussions, resources and input from other patients for the purpose of patient-to-patient support.

Printer Friendly Version

Related Titles

Recommended for Hysterectomy Recovery

The HysterSisters Store has gathered products made specifically for your recovery from surgery. Here are the best sellers we can recommend to help you:

The Great Binder Set - We have made it very easy for you and combined the two best binders and the Silky Sac into a great set to save you money! Our favorite is the Perfect Pocket binder with cold/hot packs!
Deluxe Hyst Prep Set - As you plan, we've gathered the best products into one set for special pricing.
Post-Op Panty - These great panties speed recovery, and reduces scarring. They contain a medical-grade silicone panel over incision to reduce scar's apperance while they provide support to weakened muscles and tissues from surgery. Excellent!
Softest Bra Ever - When you want to wear something, but feel nothing. This is the softest bra ever, in microfiber with no hardware or tags to chafe or dig! The comfort-ribbed underband stays in place gently, so it is perfect for sleeping and lounging.
HysterSisters Accessory Kit - Are you a HysterSisters fan? This set has a fun collection of HysterSisters items.
Very Private Moisture - Once your doctor gives you the green light for intimacy, this is the stuff! This is a best selling product with a high rate of permanent, satisfied, repeat customers! Relieves vaginal dryness instantly, protects tissue & enhances intimacy. "Buy it for the problem, use it for the pleasure."

Not Childless - Do I Have a Right To Be Sad?

PTSD and Hysterectomy

Find A Doctor Near You

Stephen Zweibach, M.D. 815 S Parsons Ave Brandon FL 33511 8135712777	Kimberly Newman, M.D. 10030 Edison Square Drive Suite 100A Concord NC 28027 704-403-7670	Charles Miller, M.D. 120 Osler Drive Suite 100 Naperville IL 60540 630-428-2229
Devin Garza, M.D. 12201 Renfert Way, STE# 215 Austin TX 78758 512 425-3830	Siobhan Kehoe, M.D. Gynecological Oncology Clinic - SW Med 2201 Inwood Road Suite 106 Dallas TX 75390 214-645-4673	Clifford Rogers, M.D. The Everett Clinic, Dept. of Surgery and Gynecology 1330 Rockefeller Ave, Suite 120 Everett WA 98201 425 339 5424
Robert Furr, M.D. Women's Surgery Center 1604 Gunbarrel Road Chattanooga TN 37421 4238996511	Susan D. Hunter, M.D. 626 Ed Carey Dr Harlingen TX 78550 956-428-4868	Brad Cohen, M.D. 2477 Route 516 Suite 103 Old Bridge NJ 08857 732-679-6900

Receive support and resources for your hysterectomy related needs: