HOPE - Letter of Love to My Unborn Child - Hystersisters Hysterectomy Article

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HOPE - Letter of Love to My Unborn Child

HOPE - Letter of Love to My Unborn Child

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Sharing from Cara:

I am 8 weeks post TAH for extensive CIN 3 pre-cancer. I've been reading all your mails and feel so connected with so many of you -thank you for sharing your pain and love.

I have been helped by a friend who could not have kids and had TAH 11 years ago. She told me the only way she came to terms with the loss was "she talked to her child for about 3 weeks after the op, and finally was able to farewell and let go the pain" As I feel I'm already a candite for a straight-jacket at the moment I didn't feel able to do that. My counceller then suggested I write a letter to my child. With each word I typed I cried buckets, but it really did help to start my healing, I know that it will take whatever time it has to take, for me to fully heal from this. But each time I now read this letter the pain is just a tiny bit less.

Some of you might like to try writing a letter it can't hurt anymore than you already do, and like me it may just help start your emotional healing.

I wasn't sure I could share my letter which came from so deep in my soul. But after much thought and urging from my DH, and my friend who told me to help others with it, as it helped her even after 11 years. (I now in trepidation press the button and share it with you all - I hope in some small way it will help)

"Letter of Love"

My darling child I always imagined that I would be telling you face to face how much I loved you, but sadly I was never able to conceive you and give birth to you physically. But know this, I can’t remember, you, not being part of me, you were conceived and deeply loved in my heart, which is where sadly you must live for all time.

In my mind I’ve watched you since you were a cherub born in my heart, so blonde and pink with wonderful huge hazel eyes, chubby hands to get into everything, and feet to take you where you shouldn’t, a deeply loved child in every way. You’ve grown from a cheeky, laughing, feisty and loving child. Into an incredibly confident and independent young girl, (sorry my love I’m not ready to see you as a woman. You are my hearts child, and perhaps I’m not ready to let you go). Know this that whatever your dreams might be then they are mine too, for you. I wouldn’t ever want you to have to live with my dreams or regrets. I will always be proud of you no matter what, and I admire and respect you as an individual. You are as beautiful inside, as you are outside always remember that. I love you even in my anger, never forget how much you are loved and wanted. In my heart I believe that all who would know you would enjoy you, share your humour and laughter, talk and argue with you and be proud to call you a friend. I know all too well that you are not perfect, none of us are. Your temper and moods can get you into trouble. And guess what you are not always right, and you don’t know everything, but I still love you faults and all – how could I not.

The saddest part for me is that I will never get your hugs and kisses or feel your warm body next to mine, or in my arms. When I hug and kiss your cousins, please don’t ever feel jealous, it’s just me trying to find your arms, your warmth. Although I do love them they are not you; they can never be you. The love I feel for you is in every particle of me, you are me, and I am you, and for a long as I live, so too will you.

My love I am at the moment mourning a deep physical loss, of the womb that might have carried you, but was never possible. But in my grief I still rejoice in your life, that is and always will be in my heart.

I LOVE YOU NOW AND ALWAYS MY DARLING

This content was written by staff of HysterSisters.com by non-medical professionals based on discussions, resources and input from other patients for the purpose of patient-to-patient support.

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