 Possible Cancer Diagnosis - Feeling Alone and Sad |
From the GYN Cancer Articles List |
 Related Titles
TAH a few years after leukemia diagnosis
Cancer Diagnosis - Extra Questions
Don't Know How to React to Cancer Diagnosis
HPV - Monogamous with an HPV Diagnosis
Possible Cancer Diagnosis - Feeling Alone and Sad
HysterSisters Articles
Options to Hysterectomy
Pre-Op Hysterectomy
Post-Op Hysterectomy
Hormone and Menopause
Intimacy after Hysterectomy
Pelvic Floor
Fitness after Hysterectomy
GYN Cancer
Grief and Loss
Endometriosis
Uterine Fibroids
Hysterectomy Stories
Ask A Doctor
My doctor said it could be cancer. And now, all the years of struggling with infertility is upon me again. I've always wanted to be a mom. I wasn't able to do it myself, and my life situation at that point made adoption unlikely. It took months, but I was finally able to come up with a new vision of how my life could be meaningful with having a child. But still, years later, the pain still lurks just under the skin and any scratch - seeing a pregnant woman, finding myself in the baby food and diaper aisle of the store, watching "Juno" - brings it back to the surface.
So now I'm faced again with the fact that my parts are broken and defective, and that I am broken and defective. That my body is so messed up it needs medicine to make it work, but that my mind is so messed up it can't tolerate the medicine. I feel like a mistake of nature, an evolutionary and biological dead end. I, an only child, have robbed my parents of their only chance to become grandparents. That I'll be forgotten five minutes after I die and my life will have been meaningless.
Oh, I know, that thinking is all wrong. I'm more than my ability to have children. There are other ways to live a life of meaning. I know. I get it. But that doesn't stop me from feeling the way I do. It doesn't stop me from saying these things to myself when there's nothing around to distract me.
I am not depressed or suicidal now, even though I have cried my eyes out. Literally. I've torn up three contact lenses in the past week from all the crying. But I'm not hopeless about life. I want to live. I'm terrified of cancer. I want to live to an old age and, yes!, there are now things I want to do and things I want to be that do not involve having children.
But these body parts of mine. I vacillate between hating them so much I could cut them out myself, and grieving at their potential loss.
I suppose that's not so unnatural, is it?
You are very brave to share your thoughts and feelings with us. Whenever the word Cancer is mentioned the brain just stops and whirs. You are revisiting previous trauma as you face the unknown of what may be coming. And, because the possibility of cancer is not something you can control, it reminds you of other things you couldn't control.
What is important right now is that you get the input for your possible cancer diagnosis from a GYN oncologist. These specialist will provide you with the extra experience and information to help you through your diagnosis and if needed, your treatments. Making sure you have the best of the best is actually adding power tools to your tool belt.
By concentrating on what you can control: selecting the best doctors with the best skills, you will be helping your emotional health both now and in the future.
Find friends who have been through GYN cancer diagnosis. Visit with them and ask them about their feelings. You will find that what you are feeling is very similar and you are not alone. These friends understand the impact that cancer head and follow-up visits can have on your psyche and emotions. They also understand that giving back to others who are on this journey can be a healing experience. Giving back to others becomes a way of mastering and giving meaning to the diagnosis.
Keep your chin up and remember to concentrate on those things you can manage. First things first. We are cheering for you!
This content was written by staff of HysterSisters.com by non-medical professionals based on discussions, resources and input from other patients for the purpose of patient-to-patient support.
Related Titles
TAH a few years after leukemia diagnosis
Cancer Diagnosis - Extra Questions
Don't Know How to React to Cancer Diagnosis
HPV - Monogamous with an HPV Diagnosis
Possible Cancer Diagnosis - Feeling Alone and Sad
Recommended for Hysterectomy Recovery
The HysterSisters Store has gathered products made specifically for your recovery from surgery. Here are the best sellers we can recommend to help you:
- The Great Binder Set - We have made it very easy for you and combined the two best binders and the Silky Sac into a great set to save you money! Our favorite is the Perfect Pocket binder with cold/hot packs!
- Deluxe Hyst Prep Set - As you plan, we've gathered the best products into one set for special pricing.
- Post-Op Panty - These great panties speed recovery, and reduces scarring. They contain a medical-grade silicone panel over incision to reduce scar's apperance while they provide support to weakened muscles and tissues from surgery. Excellent!
- Softest Bra Ever - When you want to wear something, but feel nothing. This is the softest bra ever, in microfiber with no hardware or tags to chafe or dig! The comfort-ribbed underband stays in place gently, so it is perfect for sleeping and lounging.
- HysterSisters Accessory Kit - Are you a HysterSisters fan? This set has a fun collection of HysterSisters items.
- Very Private Moisture - Once your doctor gives you the green light for intimacy, this is the stuff! This is a best selling product with a high rate of permanent, satisfied, repeat customers! Relieves vaginal dryness instantly, protects tissue & enhances intimacy.
"Buy it for the problem, use it for the pleasure."
|
|
|
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
|
Store »
Hysterectomy Checkpoints
Hysterectomy News May 19,2013
