My journey began about 2 years ago. You know the drill by now. Pain, heavy bleeding, inability to function and so on. I saw my regular Doctor and told her how my pain lasted for most of the month these days and I was concerned that it was my ovary. I had this pulling feeling in my side that hurt when I walked, sat or stood too long. She did an exam and said my ovary felt fine. It was probably endometriosis. She offered no allevation to my symptoms and just kind of shrugged her shoulders. I waited a few more months and things became more painful. I decided it was time to see a specialist.
I walked into my new GYN's office armed with the decision to have a hysterectomy. I have a strong family history of reproductive cancers in my family. I did not want to play around with multiple tests or exploratory surgeries. I wanted it all out. I knew something was very, very wrong with my body. Now, I am not saying that you should not do everything you can to save yourself from surgery. I had seen my Mom through all of these horrid tests only to end up with a hysterectomy anyway. I saw my wonderful, compassionate Doctor and cried as I told him about my pain and how it affected the quality of my life. I was also having bladder control issues. He examined me. My uterus was quite enlarged and the exam was painful. We discussed my family history. I did not want to experiment with drugs or other surgeries as I am highly allergic to many medications and do not respond well to anesthesia. He agreed to perform the surgery. I wept with relief. It was scheduled for one month away.
In the mean time, my Doctor wanted to do bladder tests to see what my problem seemed to be. I was catherized in the office where a bladder wash was performed to check for cancer cells. I passed that test! Whew! My second bladder test I was asked to empty my bladder and then was filled with fluid from an IV into my bladder to see how much I could hold. I was asked to cough several times while three people watched to see if I leaked! How embarressing! I passed this test as well. My bladder was fine.
I came home the day I found out I was to have surgery and found this wonderful site. I had so many questions, fears and concerns. I felt overwhelmed about everything but at the same time was at peace with my decision. I posted numerous questions. I did several searches. I read every story I could find. Anything that might prepare me for my big day. I also teamed up with a date-mate. We sent each other messages on a daily basis to calm each other's fears and to help make the time go by. Her name is Lisa/Shashi and she helped me more than she'll ever know. Thanks Lisa!!!
Surgery day. I have to get up at 4:00 a.m. to arrive at the hospital by 5:30 a.m. My Mom was with me. My hubby is terrified of hospitals. I was taken to the pre-op room where I undressed and met the anesthesiologist. He inserted an I.V. Then he gave me wonderous anti-anxiety drugs. Those are awesome! I don't recall this part but I asked my Mom if she had prayed for me. She said yes. I asked if she would pray for me. She said yes. Then as they are wheeling me into the operating room I waved and told her I would see her "on the other side" to which she panicked! She thought I was referring to dying and that maybe I knew something she didn't know. I was actually talking about going from the pre-op board to the post-op board! Poor Mom!
I awoke in the recovery room with the same nurse I had in the pre-op room. She was such a sweety. I also woke up to incredible pain. During my surgery my blood pressure had plummeted to dangerous levels and I could have no pain meds until my pressure stabilized. I remember saying, "Pain, pain, pain." The poor nurse would squeeze my hand and keep telling me it would be soon.
I am awake when they finally take me to my room. I remember what the incision feels like from a C-section 13 years earlier so I already know how to move around. Once I am in my bed I begin to feel very sick. I was put on a morphine pump which the nurse had pressed for me. I am allergic to morphine. I wasn't supposed to have morphine. YIKES! I was getting even more sick. I was given anti-nausea drugs and insisted that the morphine be removed. It was in my chart that I was to have Toridil injections. Not morphine!
My room mate had visitors who were excessively loud. My Mom asked a nurse to have them be more quiet. Then it was time for my Mom to leave. My husband came that evening. I knew it was him holding my hand but could not keep my eyes open. I told him to go home because I could not stay awake. I rang for the nurse. No one came. Later in the evening, my room mate again had visitors. SIX of them. Three of which were children. They were SO loud and witnessed the humiliation of my consistent dry heaves. I had no privacy and no one to help me. I finally got a nurse to answer my call. It was 8:45. Visitors are asked to leave at 8:00. Why were they still here??? The nurses got them to go.
At about midnight, the gas pains hit me hard. I asked for something to help with the gas and was told I could have nothing. My GasX was in easy reach and I took some. No relief.
7:30 the next day. Gas pains are awful. I am given a suppository to help wake up my colon. The gas pains were the worst part of the whole experience! No one has checked my incision. I ask if I can have a shower. The nurse puts my clean nighty and towel on the dirty clothes bin in the bathroom. This just happens to sit right against the toilet so you can't help but touch it when you use the toilet. YUCK! No one shows me the call buttons. In fact, no one is avalible to help me take my first steps. I was told they were under-staffed. I got up myself and began walking around the room. I get ready to take my shower and I wonder if I can get my bandage wet. I walk to the nurses station to ask. I am told to remove my own bandage in the shower. Uh....OK. After struggling in the shower, I still can't get the bandage off. I can't stand up any longer. I need to lay down. I give up on the bandage. I get back in bed and after a short rest, begin on trying to get the darned bandage off which is now wet and cold. I finally get the thing OFF! No breakfast. No lunch. My Mom comes and I tell her what's been going on. Suddenly, after her ranting and raving, lunch arrives. I was never put in the computer for meals. While I am eating, a patient advocate arrives and is horrified at how I have been treated. The administrator arrives and asks questions. The head nurse begins to argue with me saying it must be the drugs making my memory so foggy. Hmmm....I am not taking an heavy duty drugs. I am very alert, thank you.
In the midst of all this, I was up and walking at least 10 minutes every 40 minutes or so. Drinking lots of water, and sleeping. I did have a few bladder spasms. They are very uncomfortable! I had 15 staples in my bikini incision. The incision didn't bother me too much. The gas was awful though! I finally began to get some relief that afternoon. I was so proud to pass this gas.
My room mate had been discharged. I slept like a baby. The next morning I was ready to go home! I had an hour drive ahead of me. My husband arrived to pick me up. The Doctor that discharged me gave me a presription for percoset. Funny, I thought this huge red and white bracelet on my arm and the huge red and white sticker on my door would have sent him a message about allergies! NOT! The nurse looked at me sheepishly and tore it up. My Doctor and I had discussed only using over-the-counter- Motrin.
When I was discharged, no one was available to wheel me to the car. I walked through the hospital, tummy pillow in hand and waited for my husband to bring the car around.
The ride home was uneventful. I went straight to bed. I was tired and sore but so glad to be home! In the next few days, I would have hot flashes, night sweats and worst of all BOREDOM!
My husband was terrific through the whole experience. I did hit the "3-4 week wall". I was more sore at that point than at the time of surgery. My recovery was wonderful. No problems except trying not to overdo. I tired easily. At one week post, I was given a shot of depo-provera. Terrible stuff in my opinion. My patholgy report stated severe endometriosis, adenomyosis and several fibroids the biggest of which was 3.5 centimeters. No wonder I had bladder problems! I was told no HRT for 6 months. I couldn't wait for the depo to wear off. I was due for another depo injection at the three month mark which I refused. I am almost 4 months post and feeling SO good. No more pain. No more bleeding. No more PMS monster! Would I do it again? You bet! Life is good even without HRT.
The moral of the story is to take care of yourself. All of us heal at different rates. Have an advocate with you in the hospital until you are able to speak for yourself. I will not be paying the balance of my hospital bill and have received two letters from the hospital apologizing to me for my care there.
Life is good again. I fianlly feel like a normal person no longer ruled by the calendar! I do still get a bit tired in the afternoons. I am working full time, have a house and family to take care of and am doing very well.
I would like to say that this surgery has changed me more than just in a physical sense. I am a different person. I am no longer the "caretaker" that I used to be. I take time for myself every day. I tell people how I feel. I honor the woman that I am. Everyone survived while I was recovering. They can still survive now!
Hyster-sisters helped me pre-op with questions, post-op with shared recovery issues and in the desert with non-hormone related issues. Without this site I would have gone crazy. I would not have been prepared. I would have feared the unknown. I was blessed to find this site. To have an uneventful surgery and a textbook recovery. I am a new me.
There is life after hysterectomy and it is GOOD. Just a side note for those concerned about sexual issues. My sex life is better now than it ever was before the surgery. No more pain after intercourse. Even with the swelly belly, I feel sexier now more than ever. I am more sensitive to stimulation and climax easier and more often. I hope this doesn't embarress anyone!
Thank you hystersisters. Thank you to my date mate, Lisa. Thank you God for helping me through this. Thanks to all my sisters!
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