 The Princess and the Tea Party |
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The Princess and the Tea Party
Once upon a time in the Land of Hyster, Punctured Princess Polly was feeling old. "Oh" she sighed as she plopped herself down on the sofa among her pillows, "I must be an old lady. All I can think of doing is resting and sleeping and resting and sleeping. All I want to do is nap. And, when I plan an event, I plan a weekly outing to Walmart. I must now be old." Covering herself with a fluffy quilt, Princess Polly settled down for another nap.
Almost immediately as she got herself buried into and among her pillows and quilt, the door bell rang. "DING DONG". Wrestling to find a way out, she slowly managed to get her feet on the floor as she shuffled across the house to open the door. There, standing on the front porch, was a purple hatted, pink haired fairy. (She must have been a fairy because she had wings attached to her back and a face as sweet as pie.)
"Greetings! I bring an invitation for you especially! Hear ye! Hear ye! A Raspberry Tea Party will be held in your honor at the kingdom's community center! Friday Night at 9 p.m. (eastern time) or 8 p.m. (central time) or 7 p.m. (mountain time) or 6 p.m. (pacific time) will be the day and time. Please come! Food will be served!"
And with that announcement, the fairy walked off down the front sidewalk and then flew off down the street towards the castle. Sighing once again, Princess Polly muttered to herself. "A tea party in MY honor? Now I know I must be old! Tea parties are for OLD people. Why, I can't go out on Friday. I go to Walmart on Saturday afternoons! Going out on Friday would mess up my schedule." Slowly the princess shut the door and headed back to her place on the sofa with her quilt.
The rest of the week came and went just like the week before. Each day blended into the next day. Without regard for the calendar, Princess Polly napped day after day. Late one evening, the doorbell rang again. Shuffling to the door Polly shook her head at the disgrace of people who would barge into her home at this late time at night.
Standing on the front porch was a group of lovely princesses. "It's time, Polly! Come with us! We are headed to the Raspberry Tea Party. Get on your gown. Fix your hair. You are coming with us! "
"Oh, no," moaned Polly. "I can't go with you. It is late and I am not dressed for a party. Besides, tea parties are for old ladies!"
Grabbing Polly from all sides, the punctured Princesses made record time in dressing Polly and setting her hair right again. (It required a lot of hair spray and a curling iron, but they did an outstanding job.) Dragging her to the door, they managed to get shoes on her feet. All the way down the street Polly protested. "I don't want to be old! I don't want to be old!"
In no time at all, the princesses were standing in the doorway to the community center. Everything was purple in color. The walls were a lovely shade of royal lilac. The ceiling cast a shadow of midnight bluey purple. The tables were set with the most beautiful plates and silver. The napkins had little purple and blue forget-me-nots on them. Everything was lovely and elegant. There, at the head of the front table was a place card with Polly's name on it. She would sit next to the king. She sat solemnly in the chair, looked at her Hyster Sisters carefully all around the room and started to laugh!
"Why! You're not old! I see you laughing and giggling and having fun! And I am younger than you!"
The Punctured Princesses all sat at their tables enjoying their Raspberry Tea Party and eating cinnamon rolls that Princess Cindy made and brought to the party. They didn't talk about gas and bloating and other old lady topics. They didn't have blue or pink hair. They talked and giggled and made up funny limericks and enjoyed the evening of raspberry tea. They even danced with the king and felt younger and younger by the minute.
Later that night in her own bed, Princess Polly smiled. Tomorrow she would fold up her quilt and put her pillows away for special snuggle times. Tomorrow she would plan a Raspberry Tea party for another punctured Princess. Tomorrow she would blacktop her driveway, arrange for a new countertop for her kitchen, and can some green beans. She wasn't old now that she was punctured. She was just getting life started! The stars danced merrily as she fell to sleep.
And she lived happily ever after and was hormonally balanced forever. The End.
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-- January NewsletterPost Hysterectomy Fitness and Health is the theme of our January, 2012 newsletter at HysterSisters.com. Visit this link [ More]...
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