Once upon a time in the Land of Hyster, a recently Punctured Princess laid down amongst her many fluffy pillows. She was propped up from behind by a satin pillow. She was wedged into her bed by two pillows on either side. A handmaiden stood by the bed with a fan pointing at the princess. "Uh OH!" said the princess. The handmaiden turned the blades of the fan faster and faster while the princess turned her face to the wind. Another hand maiden adjusted her blankets as the princess threw the quilts to the floor. "More fans" yelled the handmaidens. At once the door flew open and hand maiden's came running into the room carrying fans of all sizes to point at the princess.
Melting from the heat, the princess sobbed. "OH dear", the hand maidens said, "What can we do for her? We tried to fan her! We tried to adjust her quilts!" Picking up the princess on the mobile pillow, the handmaidens carried the princess to the refrigerator and opened the door. They opened the freezer door, too. Acting quickly, they grabbed ice cream from the freezer and dished up a huge bowlful for the princess. As the princess ate the chocolate ice cream, they dumped ice cube trays onto her lap and down her robe. Waving their arms in the air to move the cold air from the kitchen box towards their princess they watched the princess to see if she could enjoy the cool air.
Still melting from the heat, the princess sobbed again. "Its an emergency!" the handmaidens yelled. Carrying the princess on her huge pillow, they headed north. While the princess slept restlessly, they carried her further and further into the night. Soon, the princess was plopped down in the midst of a blizzard. While the handmaidens pulled on their heaviest of gloves, coats and hats to weather the snow, the princess still threw her quilts into the air in disgust. "I'm burning up!" she cried.
Knowing the time had come to approach the king with the problem, a handmaiden headed back to the castle. Telling the king about the princess and the fans, the refrigerator and the blizzard she made her case. Listening carefully to the handmaiden, the king rubbed his chin. "It's time!" yelled the king.
Magically, two elves appeared carrying a chemistry set full of all sorts of gizmos and whiz-bangs. Working in a poof up smoke, the elves poured and measured and repoured and remeasured until finally a buzzer sounded. "BBRRRRRRIIIINGGG!" Running swiftly to the melting princess they poured the special cocktail into her parched mouth. The handmaidens and the elves stood back to watch as the clock ticked the seconds off.
Ever so slowly and yet in no time at all, the princess opened her eyes, adjusted her hair, and pulled on the quilts. "BRRRR!" she said, "Please take me home to my own room." "Hooray!" yelled the handmaidens while the elves took a bow. The entire kingdom was applauding as the princess came back from her private summer.
And they lived happily ever after and were hormonally balanced. The End.
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