 The Princess and the Pillow Police |
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The Princess and the Pillow Police
Once upon a time in the Land of Hyster a Princess by the name of Cathy was on the Road of Recovery. Princess Cathy was a model princess during her stay in the castle. WHen the handmaidens told her to eat, she ate. When they told her to walk, she walked. When she was put to bed, she went gladly and enjoyed the pillows tucked in all around her. (It is necessary to share at this point in the story how important pillows are to Hyster Sisters. A sister needs her pillows: One for a back propping-up, one on each side to stabilize movement, one under legs for back comfort when laying on her back and one for between legs while sleeping on the side. One additional pillow is needed for emergency uses: coughing, laughing, and general tummy jiggle stabilizing. It is known that Ladies in Waiting require an additional moving van when headed to the castle for their time becoming Punctured Princesses.) Soon and without much fanfare, Princess Cathy was sent home to her own house and her own bed. Moving her pile of pillows back into her home took quite some time and the help of several moving elves, but once at home, Princess Cathy lounged in her bed sleeping and resting as she got well.
WIthin a short time though, the princess got restless and ventured out of her room on a walk. She was feeling good. SHe was feeling strong. She was feeling giddy. She was all alone! She walked down the hallway and faced the stairs. Eyeing the steps, she held her tummy with one hand and held the banister with the other. Once down the steps she walked around the house, noticing the dust growing on the furniture and the carpet that needed vacuuming. Walking through the kitchen Princess Cathy looked at the countertops full of dirty dishes. Without another thought she headed to her habitual task of cleaning her house.
When the dishwasher was almost full, the kitchen floor sparkling, the carpets vacuumed and the dust thoroughly vanquished, the phone rang. Tired and hurting and yet wanting to hear a friendly voice, Princess Cathy made a mad dash for the stairs. Holding her achey tummy, Princess Cathy attempted to run up the stairs to catch the ringing phone. Unable to move very fast, Cathy sat down on the steps and began to cry. "Oh dear! I wanted to get a phone call. Maybe that was my friend calling to cheer me up. Maybe that was my darling husband to check on me. Maybe that was my neighbor calling with my favorite recipe." Sobbing big crocodile tears for missing the phone call and for hurting from doing the chores, she laid down on the steps.
The king, hearing of the princesses naughty afternoon called an emergency meeting of the pillow police. "Here!" he said forcefully. "Take these signs and post them on her gown, front and back. Take these sticky notes and paste them on her mirrors and on her walls. Make sure she understands these orders. This is an emergency! Now, go quickly!"
Within no time the pillow police had surrounded Princess Cathy's house. The pillow police knocked down the door and found the princess collapsed on the steps. Picking her up on a huge pillow they headed up the stairs and carefully dumped on her bed. THey attached the signs to her gown that the king had sent and pasted more sticky notes all over her house for warnings. Confused, Princess Cathy checked the signs that she was forced to wear on her gown.
On the front: I AM YOUR LAST RESORT!
TRY EVERY OTHER AVENUE BEFORE YOU ASK ME!
AND ONLY THEN IF IT IS SERIOUS AND CANNOT WAIT!
And on the back:EMERGENCY USE ONLY!
And then only on approval of the king!
"Orders of the king, Ma'am," said the pillow police. "You are in direct violation of orders of the king. Your family is in direct violation of orders by the king. These signs are to remind you to follow the rules and for your family to follow the rules of the king. Otherwise, we must haul you in. Keep your pillows with you at all times. We've had to install these signs on several Punctured Princesses. Princess Wiggy was most recent until you came along."
Gulping back her guilt, Princess Cathy assured the police that they would have no more problems with her. Just at the moment that the pillow police left her house, the phone rang. On the other end of the phone was the sweetest voice she would ever hear:
"Oh hello, dear. I'm so glad you are resting. Be sure and snuggle down into your pillows and rest. In no time at all you will be up and doing all your old jobs, but in the meantime, enjoy life from your bed." And with that message, the phone was hung up. Princess Cathy smiled and laid her head down into her pillows and fell asleep.
And she lived happily ever after and was hormonally balanced forever. The End.
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-- January NewsletterPost Hysterectomy Fitness and Health is the theme of our January, 2012 newsletter at HysterSisters.com. Visit this link [ More]...
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