Article: Family - My Husband Doesn't Understand My Upcoming Hysterectomy

HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support Resources - http://www.hystersisters.com

Article: Family - My Husband Doesn't Understand My Upcoming Hysterectomy
Husband Doesn’t Seem to Understand! Can you suggest some ideas so that I can communicate my needs to him as I prepare for this hysterectomy?

Some nervous pre-op women sense that as their surgery date draws nearer, their spouse appears to “emotionally check out.” Unsupportive, nonchalant, disinterested, unconcerned -- all these terms have been used to describe the demeanor of some husbands during their wife’s pre-op weeks. It can make the hysterectomy patient feel lonely as well as disappointed in the behavior of their spouse.

It is important to understand that individuals react differently to stress and fear. If your husband appears to have distanced himself from you during this time, it is probably his coping mechanism in reaction to the fear and worry he is experiencing. He may feel helpless and afraid himself, but doesn’t want to reveal those feelings, so he withdraws. It has been said that typically, men like to “fix” things, and if they can’t fix it, they don’t know what to do about it.

One woman on this site had success in getting her withdrawn husband more involved by having him help get the house ready for her recovery. This way, her husband felt he was doing something to “fix” the problem.

Another woman whose husband didn’t want to talk about the surgery printed information from Hystersisters.com, and left the papers lying around in places he would see them. Apparently, he read them and realized how much support and help she needed.

Hystersisters.com can help your husband to cope with “the hysterectomy experience.” There is a special section of the site that was developed just for husbands, Mister Hyster Sisters. Educating himself on the topic can serve to make him feel more in control and more confident in helping you face the challenges ahead. The more he knows about your upcoming procedure, the more comfortable he may feel in sharing his thoughts and emotions with you. Consider doing yourself both a favor by purchasing the Mister Hyster Sisters Guide (electronic book) for him -- it can help to ease the emotional burden for him during this stressful time and trigger healthy communication between you.

This content was written by staff of HysterSisters.com by non-medical professionals based on discussions, resources and input from other patients for the purpose of patient-to-patient support.