Article: The Princess and the Jungle

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Article: The Princess and the Jungle
The Princess and the Jungle

Once upon a time in the Land of Hyster a Punctured Princess named Bev went for a leisurely walk. She was feeling better after her time on the Recovery Road. She began to make plans to return to her daily scheduled appointments and chores from her days as a Lady in Waiting. She began to plan raspberry tea parties again. She began to shop at Walmart again. She had began to feel that a little bit of exercise would be just what she needed. So, one glorious morning after digging in her closet for a suitable gown, she got dressed, fixed her hair and walked out the door for a bit of a stroll.

Princess Bev walked up the road and down the road waving to all her neighbors and friends. She walked on, enjoying the sunshine and the newly blooming flowers. She walked on and watched a bluebird building a nest. As the day wore on, she looked up and discovered she was in the middle of a thick, dark jungle. She hadn't realized how dark it had become until she tried to look back at the road she had walked on and couldn't see where she had been. Walking on and trying to find her way, Princess Bev stumbled and fell in the midst of the gigantic trees, vines, and thistles blocking her way.

Darkness settled around the Princess as she tried to regain her posture. Weary and tired she pushed her disheleved hair out of her face and tried to think. "Let me figure this out, " Bev rambled. "I was on a road in the Land of Hyster, enjoying my walk in the beautiful sunshine, but now I'm in the darkness and I can't find my way." Picking herself up, she managed to find a path and stumbled on a vine of progesterone. Tripping and falling, she landed again in a pile of testosterone thorns. Bewildered and completely turned around in the dark, she tried to make her way through the estrogen trees that were growing so thick she couldn't get through them. Itching from the encrouching jungle, the princess started to burn up and feel strangled by her clothes. Confused and bewildered at how she got from the sunshiney road to this dark and miserable place, she started to cry.

"Boo hoo!" Princess Bev sobbed over and over. "This is all so confusing. All these things to confuse me and tangle my way. Will I ever find the right path home again?"

All at once the princess heard a voice calling her name. Confused with her own thoughts, yet recognizing the voice of the king, she rose to her feet and followed the voice. Seeing a light and a clearing of the dark jungle nearby, Princess Bev stumbled once more and landed right into the arms of the king. The strong king held the weary and crying princess and carried her back down the path all the way to her home.

Grateful to be out of the jungle of hormones, the Princess thanked the King for his rescue. Pledging to make a clearing in the jungle anytime she lost her way, and promising to send Princess Sue with a map of the jungle, the king left her in her own home as he tucked her into bed.

And she lived happily ever after and was hormonally balanced forever. The End.