Article: Princess Cassy on the Road to Recovery

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Article: Princess Cassy on the Road to Recovery
Princess Cassy on the Road to Recovery

Once upon a time in the Land of Hyster and on the Road of Recovery, there was a lovely Punctured Princess named Cassy dressed up in a lovely gown. (It was a special gown, made especially for the time when a Lady in Waiting became a Punctured Princess. The gown was best viewed by standing in front of the newly punctured Princesses. Otherwise, from behind, the view was a bit scandalous for public.) The Punctured Princess walked when she was told to walk. She ate when her food was brought to her. She visited the Royal throne room when her bladder was full. The only problem for Cassy was her tummy kept expanding.

The time came for Princess Cassy to take a walk down the hallway. She was uncomfortable in her ever expanding waistline. She toddled off down the hall taking one tiny step at a time. Slowly she walked. Step. Step. Soon, Cassy began to realize that her feet weren't touching the floor and she was lifting off! This punctured Princess was flying slowly down the corridors of the castle, bumping her head on the ceiling. Heading towards an open window, Cassy followed the wind.

She felt like a blimp. She looked like a blimp. The handmaidens that were supposed to be helping Cassy walk through the castle looked up horrified. "OH NO!", they screamed, "Cassy is Gassy!" In terror they saw her gown that only covered the front!

Running to the king and telling him about the newly punctured princess, the king ordered Cowboy Bob to lasso her and bring her down to earth. He ordered the Royal Cooks to concoct a special drink for her, full of sparkles and anti-air brew. Cowboy Bob lassoed Princess Cassy while the cooks spooned the special antidote into her mouth.

Slowly Cassy the gassy, Punctured Princess deflated and fell limply into her bed. The horrified hand maidens fixed her hair into a lovely "do", gave her a new gown with a front AND a back, and arranged a manicure for the princess in hopes she would forget the ordeal. THe newspaper sent out the reporters.

The TV stations sent out a camera crew. They all wanted to meet the famous Gassy Cassy. (And this time, she was dressed for success) SHe was invited to the Oprah Show and Good Morning America to tell about her flight. She was famous! She went on tour and made big bucks.

And they all lived happily ever after and were hormonally balanced. The End.