Today I'm feeling crappy and fat. I know what needs to be done, yet I don't do it. Summer is right around the corner and I know I'll be upset if I don't get my *** in gear. I hate when we go to places where there's alot of people and I feel so uncomfortable with my weight. I know I could feel so much better if I were to eat right and exercise, but when I get home from work I just don't feel like working out.

I've joinned weight watchers so many times I can't even count anymore. And it only really worked the first time I did it because it was new. I don't like the way I feel. My dh is trying to get me motivated but I just keep blowing him off. I told him a long time ago if my weight gets out of hand he was to tell me. Well now he's told me and I just don't listen to him. Oh this sucks.

So depressed today. YUCK

This site has helped me so much with my recovery. Sometimes I post to help others and that makes me feel good. I think my friends think I'm nuts, b/c I always talk about hystersisters.

Today I gave a crown jewels to a random member, that's a nice feeling. I hope whomever I gave it to enjoys this site as much as I do.

This upcoming Wednesday will be 8 weeks. Oh how time flies. Last year was a bad year for me medically. I had a colon resection from diverticulitus then a hysterectomy from fibroids. Wow 2 major surgeries in one year! I had a myomectomy 3 years ago from 2 big fibroids and figured I was done with that. Nope! This time I had a bunch of little ones and one that was dying and creating all kinds of pain for me. So after 3 different doctors I decided to do the hyst. I was so tired of being in pain and just wanted to feel normal again.

I seem to be doing fine. No pain....knock on wood. Now if you only I could get my act together and exercise and eat right. I mean I had part of my colon taken out, you'd think that would straighten me out. Not as of yet. Still eating junk food like crazy. I want to eat healthy but I don't. It's too much effort to plan out everything.

I wonder if I'll still PMS? I should ask on the message boards. If you so, that will stink. I used to get really mean when I had PMS.

Now that I think about it, I feel kinda sad today. Not sure why? Maybe my emotions are still weird.

Looks like journaling will be a bunch of my scattered thoughts.