Well, it's been a week since my last post...and, the has gone down 5 pounds...yeah!!!

Of course I think I may have just sweated it off last night, as it was so hot & I kept waking up & the dog was next to the bed panting away because of the heat. Hoping for a better night's sleep tonight.

I have not started to write down my day's menu & journal the results...I really need to start that. But I am trying to be more mindful of what I eat, and not buying calorie dense foods that I would love...like potato salad. A neighbor brought over a big bag of summer squash, so I've been enjoying that.

I am considering getting a treadmill...but darn, they are pricey & all the consumer reports indicate that a good, servicable one for walking costs at least a thousand dollars. LOL, my first real almost new car (not the junky one w/the leaky gas tank & bald tires) was three thousand! I do know that I want the belt to be at least 18" wide, and everything I've seen in the <$500 has 16" belts.

I could borrow a friend's, but she lives a hundred miles away & I'd need a truck or a van to get it...already tried squeezing it in my car, which can hold the most amazing things, but it would not fit. Although, if I rented a mini-van for a day...hmm...now there is a possibility.

All for now -
tah-tah!!!!
bliss at -5

:-(
Yesterday in my cleaning I discovered my weekly weigh in cards from WW from the late 1980's - (88? 89? not sure of the exact year) and tracked that I had lost over 30 lbs in 3.5 months, and almost halfway to my goal weight. I don't remember that I was sensible enough to realize that I was in fact at that point. I just gave up. And, since then gained that back and more, more and more.

So, I've been trying to analyze what has been happening since then...
Shortly after that I had the bilateral mastectomy. (Prophylactic, having lost 2 sisters to breast cancer)
And also, I think, I entered perimenopause.
And, about six years later I became sedentary, as opposed to working on a dairy farm.

In the late 90's, I lost weight again, maybe 20-25 lbs, with a local doctor's program, but again, gave up. This doctor did not believe in exercise as a weight loss component.

During this past year, I have put on 20+ pounds...this is definitely the wrong direction...appearance, self-esteem, health, and more than I can put into words is at stake.

The common denominator??? Planning the day's menu with, bluntly put, no matter how it was sugar-coated, with restrictions, (hate that word) or limited calories. With both, there was the expectations that some one might review (criticize?) what I ate during the previous week.

What have I learned???
I do have the ability to loose weight

I need to plan my day's food (Even though it is time consuming, I can not consider it a nuisance.)

I need to limit calories(duh!)...esp carbs(darn)

Being accountable helps

I need to learn stick-to-it-ness. Eating right has got to be a sticky venture!!!!
So these are my "revelations" today...nothing earth shatteringly new, but hopefully I can use these as a base to move forward.

I am going to break my weight loss goals into portions (love this food analogy!)

Loose 30 pounds by Thanksgiving, which about coincides with my 54th birthday. If I do that...no, rephrase...my reward for this will be buying new winter clothing.

My next goal will be another 20 lbs by Valentine's day. This will put me at the half-way mark to my ultimate goal weight.

Given the fact that my life is currently on an emotional rollar coaster (and I hate rollercoaster rides) and is currently charging downhill and I am feeling powerless, I do not want to speculate on goals beyond this. I will revisit my weight goals January 2006. However, I do have one goal in mind...my ds's wedding in August 2006.

Please help me be accountable to all of this...

bliss

Where does the time fly to???

My first inclination as I write in my journal is to say that I haven't done anything "positive" yet this month...this year. But that's not right...as of Tuesday I joined the nearby gym for 3 months...did a nice easy 2 miles on the treadmill the first day and so cybex stuff. Then yesterday was a breast MRI, so no gym. Today's weather is not good, but plan on a longer workout tomorrow.

January can be a "blah" month, so I am going to use it to declutter and organize. I'd much rather be curled up with a good novel, but I can't do that all the time!

Tomorrow its supposed to be up in the 50's, so I also figure that will be good weather to get out and cut down some brush along the driveway. That type of exercise should be good too!

Some of my BEST sisters have been posting that they want to enter their 50's and be in their 50's the healthiest that they can. I really applaud them, and I'm sure that they will be, cuz they have the determination and motivation.

Their thoughts became a jumping off point for my brain...being over 50...I remember when my plan at 49 was to lose 50 pounds by the time I became 50...did I??? Of course not.

The question is, can I have the commmitment now to lose wight - and keep it off. Why can I undergo major surgical operations for my health, and then have such a problem following the simple concept of eating less and exercising more?

I've been considering joining those who keep a journal, and have decided to just "jump in" to start the New Year.

I normally post on BEST, and this will give me a place to elaborate when the spirit moves me.

My challenge is to lose weight...lots...that has been creeping onto my body for quite a while. I have posted in the "twenty pound club" that I intend to lose 20 pounds by April 1st. I know it is a relatively short time to do this, but I need to be "successful", umm, noticeabley successful for my self, quickly. And <sigh> I hate to say it , this 20 pounds was gained since July after I tried South Beach and regained the the 10 I had lost and then an extra 10.

See you around!
bliss