Hey ladies,

It's been a long time. But I just wanted to let everyone know that I am okay after Ivan hit. It was totally unbelievable the amount of damage some had while others had so little. My power was just turned on and maybe tomorrow I can get some real food somewhere. I am tired of MRE (meals ready to eat).

Anyway I hope you all are fine. Please keep all of lower Alabama and western Florida in your prayers. We do need them.

Good evening ladies.

Just wanted to let you know that I am alive and well. My mood has stabilized and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's not a train.

I start my vacation Thursday to go to my home in D.C. I will be back on July 11. I will try to keep intouch and I hope all is well with each of you and glad Moonchime that you have some new.

See you all soon

Anna

Hey, just wanted to see if you made it back from the ER yet and to see how you are doing. Please let us know as soon as possible.

Love and s

Anna

It is morning. I know that for a fact because the "Price Is Right" is one. I do feel a little clearer in the brain at this time compared to yesterday. I did not sleep as well as I would have liked last night but better than the night before. Tonight we try increasing the dose. And yes I am doing that per instructions.

I will be heading to the gym in a few for my daily dose of bright light. Do you know that I would lay in the tanning bed even if I didn't get a tan. The bright light just improves my mood and the warmth feels so good on my bones. Yum Yum.

Bella sends sweat german shep. kisses to all off you.

So anyway it is time to get off this computer and get ready to face the outside world. You all have a great day and feel good.

Anna

Okay, I think it's the same day. That's what the newspaper says anyway.

The fog has lifted until I take my next dose of medication. Don't confuse lifted with cleared. Cleared would mean I would KNOW what day it is and not question the fact that I don't believe I posted this morning. Lifted means that I am as alert as I am going to be today.

I have changed my meds due to lack of sleeping. After the surgery all went crazy. Even the Abien won't let me sleep. So DR suggested a med change. We will see how it goes.

Anyway I hope everyone is doing better. I hope that my fog clears before vacation, next Thursday. If not at least I know it will be clear before I start back to school. I was hoping to get some Pell grants this semester but no luck. Student loans here I come.

Are any of my journal sisters near northern Virginia? That's my original home and where I will be going for vacation. I'm taking my girls to the new WWII memorial, the standard museum trip, six flags, a moracan resterant and the some theater. I think they will have a great time. Oh yes, the fire works. The last time we were there it was raining so we didn't go down town. I hope that it will be different this year.

Well I am very tired right now so time for me to go lay down.

Anna

Hey all,

Just a quick note. I'm still here and hyst wise doing well. Had to start new meds for my bipolar and not able to focus. Hope is well with all and as soon as I can see straight (and spell correctly) I will be back.

Anna

I always wondered what to put in the title. Why not the date when you have nothing specific to say?

Anyway, called both my daddy's and called my husband. Everyone is doing fine.

I feel much better today, emotionally anyway. I've been feeling pretty good physically except for this afternoon when I had the urge for a poo. I got up and went to the restroom and just as I was about to remove my pants an undescribable pain hit. I couldn't move, it was hard to breath. I have never had a pain that sharp or sev. Anyway, tried labor breathing and just knew if I could sit it would get better -- I hoped. Removed the pants and sit I did. The pain eased away and the poo came. As normal and easy as could be.

That pain better never come back again. I wonder if as stool moves through the track if it sometimes presses on stuff? That hurt. Hey did I tell you, and it's kind of sickly funny, that while in the tanning bed Friday, I put my hands on my tummy and felt the poo move just like when I used to feel my babies move. I layed there and laughed. Sorry for all the weird information. But hey, if you can't say it here where can you say it. Maybe someone else has felt it or might in the future.

Anna

Just a quick good night to all.... I feel a sweat sleep coming. But had to let everyone know about the show on Food Network about competition wedding cakes. They were so beautiful and up lifting.

Good Night and see you Sunday!

Anna

Today is a better day. Even though I did not sleep well last night, today is better. After a long talk with DH on the phone and both of us stating what to do if "something" were to happen, I feel better.

I also called my mom, she said I sounded like I was in one of my slumps and I said that I was, but that I was better now than before. She asked what was going on and I told her and also told her about the conversation. She couldn't agree more about the choice that we had made and understood completely about why we did.

Anyway I also went to the tanning bed today, (I went yesterday) and that has always helped pick me up. It really gets those chemicals just flowing around in my head. Maybe I'll take the girls out for dinner?

Oh for fun today we painted Bella's front toe nails bright (hooker) red. It is so funny to watch a big dog get their nails painted. If she will let us we're going to put nail stickers on them. Can you just picture that?

Anyway, maybe I'll post some more later.

Anna

Sorry for not being here, or anywhere, for the last few days.

Thank you Clementine for checking up on me.

I have been "traveling" in one of my valley's for the past few days. I'm still in it but am feeling better.

My heart hurts today. For those of you who don't know my husband is retired military and now works as a "civilian contractor". That all most sounds like a dirty word. Anyway, I pray for him everyday and that the decsion we made is the right one. You ladies are the only ones who will ever hear "read" these words from me. Everyone else must belive that I am strong and have no weakness.

He works in Bahrain, which is conected to Saudi by a bridge. And what keeps extreamists from crossing the bridge? Absolutly nothing.

Why did we choose this? We have struggled financially for our entire marriage, except for the two years we lived in Turkey. Anyway, the oppertunity came for this job and he had been unemployed for 6 months. What was I susposed to say, "No don't go I love being poor". We talked and did what we had to do.

He makes enough to pay all of our bills, on time!!!! We are able to put a small amount into savings and I am able to go to school so that we will never be in this position again.

Okay, crying to much, time to change subject.

My mouth hurts. It has been the first visit back to the orthodontist since my surgery. They filed a tooth, put heavier wires in and now it hurts. I haven't used any pain meds since day 3 from surgery....but watch me have one tonight so I can eat.

Anyway today is my 4 week hysterverie and I am doing well in that aspect. If you all would keep me in your thoughts and prayers so my mood will pass it will be appriciated.

Anna

Good Morning to all my sisters.

Could someone please turn the rain off? Or atleast the light show with them? Oh well, it was worth asking.

After yesterday's journal entry, Clementine asked why I wasn't going to Veterinary School....I would rather chew my own arm off than be a Vet. Really it's a time vs money thing for me. I can not see going to school for 8 years and not make the appropriate amount of money. Maybe if I had gone to college at 18 but to start down that road now at 37...I don't think so.

It was working at the Vet's that I realized, finally, what I wanted to be when I grew up -- a Nurse. That is path that I walk now. Originally I thought I would like to work for the following locations in a hospital (listed in order) Surgery, Trama, ER or NICU. My ideal job would be to work with a Dr. in his/her office and follow into the OR as his/her assistant.

And if this happens I would love to work for an orthopedic. I love fixing bones. A little song I used to sing at the Vets when we were setting bones:

Tink Tink goes the hammer
Zip Zip goes the drill

There were other words but I have to be in the mood. My family says that I'm gross. But hey you have to have a sense of humor to do those things to a bone.

So, anyone doning anything intersting today? Me, laundry, nap, dinner, gymnastics class then Target! IF IT WILL STOP RAINING.

Have a great day.

Anna

I am going to try this journaling thing.

Okay, for any of you who read my last entry, my headache is gone . I am having no pain and the animals are being good.

I cooked dinner again tonight and it was wonderful. Cajun seasoned Tilapia, broc and fet. alfredo. Very yummy even my youngest DD had seconds of the fish and broc.

We cleaned up the kitchen and I even set up the coffee pot for in the morning. I am trying to get back on a more normal routine since I am three weeks out. I know I still have about 7 weeks before I have to return to my studies and my girls go back to school. I want to ease into this.

I also went out to pick up "Baby" and "Baron" from the vets. They had check-ups this morning and I left them for a bath. I normally give the baths myself, I have even invested in a special dryer, but in this condition I guess it is worth it. Oh yeah, "Baby's" ear is much better, Doc sugested to get one of those dumb-bell bars that the kids wear in their body and put it in the whole. I said no thank you.

I get sad when I go to the Vet. I worked their for 5 years and to see the way things are going now just upsets me. When I went to pick up the dogs, Doc was sedating a puppy for an ear crop and nothing was ready for him in surgery. So I got everything ready so that he could get going. The supplies were so disorganized and equipment not ready. I don't see why or how he puts up with it. The auto-clave was not working right so he asked me to look at it. I fixed it and asked if he wanted me to come and clean it on Wednesday. It doesn't look like it has been cleaned right since I left a year ago. I mean it has been cleaned but not well. (no sisters this is not real labor intensive -- no lifting etc-- just needs to be done right) Maybe he'll do a trade where I can get a discount on my babies boarding while on vacation?!?!?!?

I have to remember to call the DR tomorrow, Gyn to schedule my 6 week (after vacation) -- and PCM for my DD her nose is bothering her. I also need to call my step-son so he will come and weed eat. My FIL, who lives in my back yard, mows but does not weed eat. I can't do it so we'll see.

See you all tomorrow hope we all sleep well.

Anna

I don't do well posting in a journal but I like to read others and give comments every so often.

Yesterday I went to our local farmers market. My girls and I are trying to eat better. So here we go I drive they pick and push buggy. I was nice. $40 later of fruit and veggies its off to home. We were out about an hour. The girls brought it all in and I sat down to have some more coffee.

Then from about 1 pm to 4pm I cleaned, cut and packaged our new yummies. Then make dinner, I sure do feel well. At 5 my oldest DD says "mom I can't believe you have not laid down yet, aren't you tired". I thought about it "no I feel pretty good". Then 5:30 came and I was in trouble.

Dinner was ready at 6 and I could barely get it on the table. But it was so good and I was hungry. After dinner I shuffled off to bed (haven't shuffled since I left the Castle 3 weeks ago) and rested. Shooting pains in the vagina and off to the left where I imagine the ligaments were. Okay, that was stupid so lets check out the drug selection. (haven't taken anything since 4 days post op). Perc.---make my skin crawl, give me the sweats and really doesn't cut the pain; Loratab (from having a tooth pulled) -- works well, makes me sleepy; RX Motrin -- after pain is gone this is a good idea. So I take 1/2 loratab and wait for my husband to get on line.

8:30 their is DH and I feel better so let's take the motrin now. Talk to him while DD is leting in the dogs. My two females decide that it is time to rip each other apart. DD's screaming and crying so I have to break up the dogs. Not an easy task when one is 96 and the other is 67. Got them outside and all was better except my tummy. I never did pull them apart but the stress was hard.

I did find out this morning that the 96 pound one had a hole in her ear. So we will see how this play's out.

Anyway so the 67 pound German Shep slept in my room last night. We were planning to move her in anyway. I took another 1/2 loratab and went to sleep. At 1:30 "Bella" gave me a kiss and I asked her what she wanted. She didn't say so I went back to sleep. Then the smell hit me. Icky Icky Icky. She's alot like me. If I get upset the poo has to flow. So I get up clean up but still stinky stinky. We go back to sleep at about 4am. 5am "Bella" jumps on the bed, takes off my sleeping mask then tunnels under my pillow. Oh freak dog get down.

Back to sleep kinda. Oldest DD comes in at 7 to let dogs out (they take turns). I go ahead get up, get paper, get coffee and call DH.

But my head hurts now and will not go away.

P.S. Just for those who don't know here is the living creature list at my house:

Me -- If it was just me I could handle it
DD1-- 17 year old -- at least she can drive
DD2-- 11 year old -- loves her mommy
Baby -- 6 year old 96 pound weimer/lab (snorfleed)
Bella -- 3 year old 67 pound german shep (not snorfleed, had
litter at Valentines day)
Baron -- 15 week old german shep (bella's only white one out of
10)
Stumpy -- 5 year old gray taby (snorfle)
Hyde, Pitty, Fez -- 3 year old yellow, white and black tabbies
(snorfle)
Fish

So, now that I have had my pitty party and I know I will scoulded I feel better.

Anna

This goes for any of our sisters. If your box is full you can not get any uplifting, funny or completely out their messages.

Anna

As I sit here and wait for my DH to get on-line, nightly video confernce (thank God for technology), I think about the silliest things. First, I don't have it to bad. I read my other sisters journals and see that they have worse problems than I have. Second, is my jelousy (sp) of those with caring DH's at home to love them and tell them everything is okay. Third, sex.

This is the one that concerns me the most as with most of my sisters. I will have 11 months to heal before the test drive and it scares me to death. My DH will only be home then for 30days, so let's just say it will be a busy time. Please sisters, as you go for your test drive tell me the truth so that I can be prepared. Maybe it will be like getting ready for the surgery....The more information the less the fear.

Well got to go DH is on-line. Talk to you soon Anna

Clemintine & Moonchime...not sad tears but happy. Thank you

I tend to cry at a drop of a hat these days and my 11 DD says I'm silly. Mom, why do you cry when your happy? I don't know. I just cry happy or sad, which is prob. a good thing.

You two don't know how much I need the

I did go out today, as a matter of fact just got back from my artifical . What a mood lifter.

Anyway to all the sisters who read this and have not started to use the journals yet. You should it will make you feel so much better.

Oh yeah, happy 3 week hysterversary to me

Thank you Clemintine

I don't suffer from swelly belly other than the normal mommy belly. But I promise to take it easy today

As far as school, I just finished my freshman year for my nursing degree. I am so excited and can not wait to get to the classes that actually have something to do with it.

As for my DH, we talk either by phone or internet just about everyday. Which is nice.

But I would like to take a moment and thank those who respond to anyones journal. When a person is feeling down and does not know where to go it can be further saddening(sp) to have no one respond to "yours" when they respond to others. When you get a response your spirits lift and are able to soar. :

Oh, I though I was good and sleepy last night so I choose not to take my sleep meds.....At 3am realized that, that was stupid. To late now. UGHHHHHH

Okay, I was board stiff. I am so used to going, going, going that the last 3 weeks (almost) have been awefull (sp). Anyway, up until May I have been a full time student, full time mom and my husband has been overseas so I am the single mom without any of the benifits.

So, here comes my surgery. I got out of school just in time to clean and organize my house, take care of my pets and to get some rest (real bad cold week of finals). Anyway, my mom comes to take care of my and my girls and all goes well. Surgery was good, girls were good, mom was good. I feel great but mom keeps me in bed except for a few trips--dinner--dance recital.

Mom leaves. I go to walmart -- not a problem. The girls pick the groceries, push buggy load car, unload and put away (I could get used to this). Yesterday went to a movie as a reward for the girls taking good care of me. But I am still board. My brain is mush and I want to be around intelligent adults. So....

I get up this morning and got all civilized looking and went to my old work. I hung around and helped where I could for 4 hours. Now sisters I took it easy, no lifting pushing pulling.....I used to be a Vet Tech. I helped in surgery -- my true love -- and helped a dobie recieve her hyster. Ran some blood work and talked and chatted. My boss and I talked about my upcomming course load and why won't I quit school and come back. I laughed at him but he knew the answer. I did say that when I get back from vacation that I can help when I can.

Anyway, I feel great. I feel fresh and rejuvinated. I am tired but thats a good thing. I did not lay in bed all day changing chanells like a flippin channel fipper. But I know that I must take it easy and I might get scoulded for this. I needed this for my mental wellbeing.

Thanks for listening.

Anna

First to Moonchime---Thanks for caring.

Second after my entry last night no baby dreams. Let's hope it holds just for a bit (a week would be great).

I have given this journal thing some thought. It appears to me that it is much better than writing in a journal that you keep tucked away in a secret spot. And though that is theraputic this seems to be better.

The people who read your journal have been there-done that, or are on their own path in this direction. So it can either be a great help to you or you can help someone else. Funny huh? How a internet site can give so much and ask for so little in return.

Go Sisters!

I have not wanted any children since my last daughter was born almost 12 years ago. I had a tubal 7 years ago because I knew I did not want anymore children. I had even said that if I was ever offered (needed) a hyster I would jump at the chance.

Up until my hyst on 5/21 I knew in my heart this was what I wanted

1) No more (we hope) pain
2) No more never ending periods
3) And absolutely no more children

Don't get me wrong these are all things that I am gratefull that I will never have again.

But why when I sleep do I dream of children and babies? It must be the finality of it all.

Anyway, I think that just by puting my thoughts down that something has lifted.

Thanks for listening.

Anna -- 2 weeks 2 days post op

Tonight is the eve before my two week post op date. I feel great and I wonder -- did I have surgery? Of course I did.

I get tired easily but I am doing better than I though I would. It has occured to me that unless you are having an Abdominal hyst as long as you are having no other proceedures the pain is minimal. Honestly it is much better than any period that I can remember having.

I have promised myself that no matter how well I feel I will take it easy. I have to.

I am glad that I have done this and that I took this summer off from school. Hey why not I never had a real summer off once I was able to work at 16. This is a treat. It would be more of a treat if I could go, go, go. But that is okay.

I wish that I had, had the money to become a crown jewel before my surgery since this is very theraputic. But it is now a gift to myself because I am worth it.

More later