Well 2k11 was a pretty interesting year for me! I am blessed to say that I have made it to week 14 post-op and feeling great! Back to work full-time and starting on my RN in January! I am soooo excited. I still get a little fatigued during the day (some days more than others) but I am still a either way! We are moving into our new home in 2 weeks and my mom has her health and strength! My grandmother is better than ever and my kids are great! My husband is even more supportive now than ever! God has truly blessed me in abundance! I couldn't ask for more!

Happy New Year to my sisters!

Well now since the insomnia is gone THANK HEAVENS I sleep about a good 7hrs each night....I am up and at em around 7ish in the morning and I may or may not take a nap throughout the day. Once I get the kids ready for bed, I am beat! Just sitting down is wonderful for me and sometimes I doze off! I did just that on Sunday while watching the football game with my husband...I'm grateful he understands especially with all that I have been going through the past couple weeks with my mom and grandmother. Just thinking about school starting in January is overwhelming to me but I can do it! For those recovering, remember to take baby steps! Listen to your body! It makes a HUGE difference in your recovery. I go back to the doctor on Thursday and hopefully there isn't much else left for me to do. My main battle now is with the hospital and my insurance to cover the darn surgery after it was approved! SMH!


Smooches!

last night and used tons of KY. You know the commercial where there is fireworks and everything is out of order...well that was us last night! I am GLAD it worked out that way! THANK HEAVENS. Just a little patience and time. The only thing is my mind was into but my body wasn't. But when it finally did respond....OH BOY!

Well its been almost 2 months since my last entry! Soooo much has happened in my life since then! My body is on the mend (thank God) and was just having an "episode" as my doctor called it. Sex is painful missionary style and gives me a pinkish tinge of blood when done that way, but not tear in the vaginal cuff or granulation But any other position provides relief and no bleeding or spotting. My hormones are WAAAY off base and my husband and kids are wondering what in the world and who in the world am I from day to day! LOL...I've started back to work but only to leave after Christmas to start school in January to pursue my RN....(I may work part-time)

My mom suffered a stroke and spent 10 days in the hospital. She is much better however it has a major effect on her vision (thank God nothing else) so she has to see an Ophthalmologist. She can't drive because she can't see and we found a hole in her heart after the stroke which was a birth defect she didn't even know she had! Needless to say she is doing well and in slow motion. My 76 year old grandmother is a diabetic and seems to be handling it pretty good providing she is taking care of my mom! But otherwise all is well in DIVA land! ASSUMING....I missed you guys and I am back full swing now!

Smooches!

I HATE feeling this way. I feel like no one listens, no one cares. The last few days have been CRAZY! Thursday I went to the orthodontist....GREAT...tightened my braces and they are now chained (rubber bands over the wires) and it is VERY uncomfortable. So that night I ate very little. Friday I still was sore, of course I took ibuprofen and I ate very slowly AGAIN...I walked the mall (food court) and went to Wal-Mart to pick up a couple items (didn't push the buggy)...everything was fine. Saturday I woke up and felt a little sluggish, figured I had a full past 48 hours and just needed to rest. Well, I felt sorta lethargic when my kids came to give me breakfast in bed, but I ate because I didn't want to hurt their feelings and my mouth no longer hurt. Hubby was working on something downstairs and he asked me to come look. I sat on the side of the bed and the room began to spin. So I braced myself for a minute. We made it downstairs and I sat next to him at the table in front of his laptop and EVERY SINGLE QUESTION he asked me, I snapped! I didn't want to be bothered. I was irritated and I didn't feel well. I started to lay my head down on my dining room table and I felt myself slipping in and out of consciousnesses. Of course oblivious to him I started swaying and rocking. He looked over and asked me if I felt ok about 10 minutes later and once I stood, my ENTIRE BODY LOCKED UP! Don't know what was going on but everything hurt. Head, eyes, mouth, ears, my chest, my legs, my incisions...everything! So of course what did I do? You guessed it! And hard too! So of course I had to take 2 Percocets! Something I did NOT wanna do. But I did. I slowly began to feel better and eventually made it back up to my room. I slept the entire evening into today after 5pm. (waking periodically to cheer a pitiful hooray for my Pittsburgh Steelers). I am upset, but don't know what I am upset about at this point. I think part of my episode yesterday is my battle with RA. I haven't been taking my medicine for it AT all as I should but now I have to realize this healing period means that my ENTIRE health and wellness is at stake!

Take nothing for granted. And mentally I am preparing and reflecting. My husband is a great man and no one can do things the way you do them. But when you delegate and let things go, you have to accept them as they are done. And be grateful!


Smooches!

So today is the day I am taking on the world! *evil laughter* My baby boy and middle son both have soccer games today and the only ones this week matter of fact, so I am going to TRY to sit through the games! TRY is the operative word! With my iPad, folding chair (so I don't have to sit on the God Awful metal bleachers) and pillow pet in tow, I think I can do it! This may even be what I need to help me fall asleep tonight too! I am very excited about it and I guess I need to get ready! One of my shorter entries but I was so excited I had to share! LOL...

Smooches!!!!

Did I say I hated ? I do WITH A PASSION! Oh Mylanta its AWFUL! I can't sleep, I can't rest, I can't do anything but watch time tick by! Nothing particular is on my mind that I am aware of and I took a Tylenol PM (which is no longer a of mine) and it did NOTHING! My kids got up for school this morning, hubby got up for work and I was IRRITATED! They just ticked me off by being here! I'm sure hormones has something to do with it but I am so frustrated right now.

I called my doctor's office at 8:15am (knowing they don't open until 8:30am) and THAT set me off! I don't know WHAT is going on with me but TODAY is NOT the day! Its truly Monday!

So here I sit awaiting on them to call me back. Hubby says to get off the laptop, the iPad and the phone and just watch TV...well there is a problem with that....I DON'T WANT TO! I want to do what I normally do and fall asleep the way I always have....in motion!

Maybe I'm not being rational here, but WHO CARES and who asked him? I just want my 9 hours of sleep back so I can function like normal. Problem now is, if I go to sleep NOW, I will sleep straight through my baby getting home and he will be locked out! SMH I know, I can't win!

So I am gonna need my to RX me something hard and heavy ASAP cause I'm a on the edge!

Well my journey to began about 16 years ago, while pregnant with my oldest son. I was only 17 years old and never had a in my life. During my ultrasound to determine the sex of the baby and position, my OB noticed a growth on one of my ovaries. Being I was high risked, he said he would keep watch on it. That was around November 1995.

My oldest was born April 14, 1996 and of course I was a teenager and scared to death! My mom stayed as far away as possible (in a corner) and would not help me breath or rub my back or anything of the sort...I later found out she was scared . Her baby was having a baby! My son was born healthy and that was still there.

During my 6 week checkup I inquired about the again....well Medicaid wasn't going to pay for the removal and it wasn't something "serious" as my OB stated. So I didn't know any better and moved on. My mom was battling :fibroids: too at the time so we both just assumed it was something women go through.

Prior to my oldest son, my cycles came every 28 days like clock work however they were full force and lasted 7 days. I cramped the week before, the week of and the week after! It was horrible! I was soaking pads and was afraid to use tampons! I thought they would hurt! My grandma said it was from "being fast".

Moving on to the year 2000 I had my second son. I had a cyst at the opening of my cervix, not to mention the 4 year old one on my ovary. Same OB mentioned having a C-Section and I was mortified! He performed a biopsy and ironically when I got home, the remainder of the cyst fell off in my panties! I WAS THRILLED! If only the one on my ovary would fall off too! Needless to say September 2, 2000 I delivered a healthy 7lb 3oz boy who would be the biggest of my 3. Periods would still reek havoc!

Somewhere between the 2nd and 3rd baby I wanted to try the Depo. I got married in 2001 and I knew hubby would want another baby. So I was on the depo! I LOVED it! It made the painful periods go away and I honestly didn't have much pain at all...but in January 2004 my brother had a baby girl (my first and only niece-no girl since me in 25 years) and I wanted a baby girl! So I got off the depo in February and started taking a birth control pill and by the end of March I was pregnant! RIGHT! THAT WAS QUICK! We were excited because we were trying but I thought I had about 6 months to a year before it would happen!

December 10, 2004 I have my 3rd baby. I was so excited and so was hubby. December 11, 2004 I got my tubes tied and decided I didn't want anymore babies. My OB (a new one) told me that if I didn't want those problems I was having, tying my tubes was not going to fix my problem. I was going to have to have a hysterectomy. I figured I could get back on the depo and all would be well! WRONG!!!!! The first time I was on the depo, no cycle, no pain. The second time on the depo, I bled for 90 days and I was in TREMENDOUS PAIN! Everyone I saw said it was the depo, it was the depo! I hated it! After the first shot, I didn't get another one.

2010 hubby moves to Mississippi and I knew that things were gonna have to change. All during 2010 I was having problems with my cycle. I tried the BC pills, no deal. I tried the Mirena, no deal! I tried it all. So when the kids and I moved to Mississippi, I knew something was gonna have to give.

April 2011 the pain flares up again. This time an ultrasound shows that same fibroid from 15 years earlier was growing and "breathing". Oh he gotta go! I thought to myself. I can't stand being in this much pain. I took OTC meds and seemed ok after awhile. I let it go.

August 10, 2011 the day after my 33rd bday I went to the ER for pain in my right side. I was rushed to emergency surgery for a kidney stone that was 6mm in diameter and stuck in my uterer! THAT HURT! The surgery was performed laproscopically and I felt a lot better, only for the urologist to tell me I had a HUGE cyst on my right ovary that caused him major concern. Well when I go to the GYN a couple weeks later, I explain that to him and he pulls up the xray electronically and says, well I want to try the birth control pills to see if they will work. I told him "no disrespect doctor but I am not a guinea pig. I have tried it all and I'm tired." He insisted on the pills and I took them. My cycle for the month of August AWFUL!!!!! It was the worst I had ever felt. I couldn't even go to work. I was in tears the entire 7 days! I called him and told him its not gonna work. He told me to come into the office.

Hubby is normally with me when I make visits to any doctor I have to see, but this particular visit he couldn't. We had just celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary and he couldn't take off. I wanted the procedure and when my doctor told me ok, lets do it, I went into shock! I got outside to the car and cried my eyes out. I figured I had ruined myself and everything that made me a woman. But I WANTED the procedure. I called him hysterical and he told me to come to see him and he sat with me in the car and held my hand and listened to every concern I had and rubbed my head and said "baby, you will ALWAYS be a woman because that is way God made you. And whatever it takes we will get through this just as we did everything else." That meant the world to me. The man I married supported my decision. So I dove into the internet the same day head first into researching hysterectomies. It was that day I found this site . I didn't read any posts. I didn't lurk. The front page got me! I registered right away! I read this site day in and out. From my laptop, from work, from my iPad, from my phone! (I'm a junkie what can I say?) The ladies here truly prepared me for what was to come.

The Thursday before my surgery, I went to my to get my pre-op paperwork. Hubby went with me. We watched a video (which looked like it was shot in the 70s) and he answered EVERY SINGLE QUESTION I had. He loved the fact we had questions. Leaving there I went to the hospital and started my paperwork and my bloodwork. I was there all of 15 mins and was done!

That Friday evening I decided I needed one last "to do" before I was restricted of doing ANYTHING. We went back home to Alabama for the weekend and went to our Alma Mater's first home football game of the season with our boys and I spent time with my mom and grandma and brothers and even went to Friends and Family day at my daddy's church (he's a Pastor). I had a wonderful time.

I slept pretty good Sunday night. I didn't have to do bowel prep but I did have to stop all fluids and foods at midnight. I ate EVERYTHING! Monday morning I woke up at 5:15am and I ran to the bathroom....I guess that's why I didn't need bowel prep! But I got up, , and got dressed and woke hubby up! Kissed my boys and was off to

We got there at 6am. I was escorted straight to my room. No waiting at all. It was early and everyone was so sweet and helpful. The nurses I saw on Thursday for my prep were the same nurses who were there for my procedure so I was familiar with them and them with me! (it helped!) I was given these really big wipes and was told to wipe down with them and to put on my compression stockings, socks and the gorgeous princess dress (hospital gown). After helping me get everything together, my IV was started and hubby left to get the boys ready for school.

I sat in that bed on FB, I think I checked into here....can't remember...and even tweeted a bit. The clock seemed to have time of its own. Nothing was on TV that morning and even the news was boring! But I waited. Soon the OR nurse came and wheeled me out.

I was taken to a holding area. Where I saw my doctor. He came in and talked to me and told me I looked well and relaxed. I was. Not nervous one bit. He marked the incision sites and talked to me quite a bit and then sent in the anethesiologist. He was very sweet. He told me he was going to give me something to help me relax : and once he did he said "I'm gonna leave this curtain open since I gave you these meds and it won't be long now dear heart" that was at 7:11am....I don't remember anything else until after 10am looking at the clock in recovery moaning and groaning and then I was out again until 11am where I groaned again. Then about noon I asked for my glasses like I forgot about them and suddenly remembered. A nurse brought them to me in a Ziploc bag and I HAD to put them on so I wouldn't lose them again. I was then wheeled back to my room where my hubby was patiently waiting for me and I was so happy to see him! It made everything better! Somewhere in the mix of all of that I was given chicken noodle soup out of a Styrofoam cup (took all day to eat it), a Sprite (that was waiting on me when I got there), graham crackers and something else. After about an hour my catheter was removed and I had to GO! I peed the 200ml every hour on the hour and was super excited about that. Hubby and I would talk and he said I would talk and fall asleep mid sentence! I bet THAT was hilarious! I even got up and walked around pretty good. Around 3pm I took a percocet by mouth and my doctor came in around 5 and said go home! I got dressed and was wheeled to the car! The nurses let me take a pillow home and even signed a card for me! They were sooo sweet and I only bothered them every hour on the hour when I had to pee! LOL.....All in all I was a pretty good

I took it easy the last 24hrs. I really needed it. I slept like sleeping was going out of style. Today I even laid around a bit, actually until after 5pm and then I got dressed and tackled Wally World with my DH. I must say the trip went well and he continued to forget I couldn't push the buggy. It was kinda cute watching him run through the store without a list...lol. Bless his heart. Closer towards the way out my godsister was there (the one who never showed up surgery week but comes around when she wants something) and tried to talk to us...I wasn't interested.

My younger 2 boys spent the night with a friend last night and came home this evening so that meant my 15 year old was home with hubby and I. It was like he wasnt home. My mom called to see when the kids were out of school she wanted them for a few days so this coming weekend they will be gone to visit her and my granny. Hubby went back to work this last week and I kinda wish I had someone here at home with me. It gets lonely around here and I can think of everything I dont need to do when no one is here and can't think of a thing when someone is. I don't like being by myself. I can't stand it! But I am gonna put on my big girl panties and stop the pouting.

My belly button and 2 abdomen incisions are looking awesome! Hard to believe that I had a procedure almost 2 weeks ago! That is what caused my minor setback (and I wouldn't call it that because after I slept a bit I was fine) thinking that I am superwoman and running up and down the stairs at home (makes getting that house built more of a reality now). I love my bed but I am much more familiar with it now than I was in mid-August when I had my kidneystone removed laproscopically (that's an entirely different journal entry for another day). But anyway, I love to lay down but this is RIDICULOUS! I mean I know we are suppose to rest but good grief!

Reading the recovery forum on the post-op board gives me view of the different issues that one can go through during a hysterectomy. Some elect to have the procedure. For others it's a medical necessity and it's bitter sweet for some, a good thing for others and a loss for a few. I for one knew EVENTUALLY I would need one after my 3rd son, it became a reality sooner rather than later. Right now I'm not hormonal nor am I mourning the loss of child bearing (had a tubal after my baby boy almost 7 years ago), but I do feel like a part of me is missing. The day we decided to say "let's do it", I went to the doctor alone and when I got to the car I cried like a newborn, calling my husband sobbing between words. I felt like what made me a woman was about to be taken from me. I later found out this wasn't true. No one can take your womanhood away. True your childbearing organs are gone, but that doesn't define your womanhood/femininity. Grace, poise, class, humor, intelligence, supportiveness, mannerisms....among others make you a lady, a woman! If God decided today to take my breasts away, I would still be a woman, because he created me that way.

So all in all, I'm back on track. I'm doing much better and thank God for the help I do have (even though I give them hell). They make my days brighter and eliminate the negative. My family...I'm grateful for them!

Smooches!

Well, I went ahead and decided to journal/blog how my life has officially changed. It is now 5:16am CST and I have been awake since YESTERDAY 10am! I don't understand it! After last night's chat I started feeling those sharp twinges of pain again and took my first percocet in almost a week! Hurt me to do so, but hubby said he couldn't have me in pain like that and after he said it, I was thinking to myself exactly who are you tryin to be brave for? NOBODY! So I went ahead and took the pill...that was just after midnight. I was reading "The Help" on my iPad and started to feel really woozy, but my dumb butt fought sleep like it was the enemy! Exactly what I was trying to prove to myself I have NO IDEA! I got up and did the and considered but said, that was too much! Now I am here on this darn laptop after taking a Tylenol PM waiting for sleep to enter my near future! SMH....I know....

I hadn't had problems LIKE this with insomnia before and was told that meds could be the problem. But I haven't had any in a week until tonite/this morning so I know it shoulda been waaaay out of my system by now...but doggone narcotics have a way of hanging around! I tweeted, hung around on FB and even got even more familiar with Hystersisters and even at one point hubby said "WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?" I told him I couldn't sleep...he said

I just thought I would start my journey journaling and posting something daily (my goal) on how I feel and my progress on the road to recovery. My procedure was done on September 19th as an outpatient (in at 6am home by 5:30pm) and honestly looking at it all gas pains was my demon! I didn't bleed AT ALL except maybe a streak (not enough to do damage to a pantyliner) from recovery to my room...and trying to do too much too soon has been a small problem for me. As an asthmatic, shortness of breath really irritates me but should be something I am used to and I really hate missing my boys soccer games (season started the day after my surgery) but I am aiming to see a game next week! So at 1 1/2 weeks post op....I think I am handling it all pretty good and taking it all in stride!


October isawarness month!