I know that I should write at least to record my physical day, but I've not been in the mood all day. I am so touched by everyone who wrote in response to my last entry about my dad. Ceedeewho, Moonchime, gemsab, empresse, PraireLakeLady, texrahrah, Northlights, jeanette, californiagal, and floppsy, your kind words and support were such a surprise and are still a comfort. I've reread the comments about three times throughout the course of the day and each time they make me feel better. Thank you.

I skimmed through a book today called, "Just As Much A Woman." I checked it out from the library before my surgery and thought it would be a great read. Instead, I found it very one sided and have a hard time relating to it. It had a heavy emphasis on fibroids and women in their 50s and 60s going through the surgery (if you are in either of those categories you might like the book). For me, it was too linear. Of the twelve women mentioned in the book none had endometriosis and, in fact, the author stated that hysterectomy is not necessary for endometriosis. I can't believe such an opinionated book was published. The book was basically one woman's journey and the advice she learned from her one doctor, and as I read some of the things she wrote I was riled. I'm old fashioned in that I believe an author has a responsibility to present all the facts about a topic like hysterectomy. Maybe we should all band together and publish our stories, eh ladies? We are all so diverse, yet share common threads. I have learned more here than through any book on the market.

I am still bleeding! I'm not bleeding an inordinate amount or even all day, but at least three times each day I go to the bathroom and bleed into the toilet water and wipe blood away from my vagina and bleed onto a pad. I have a distinct feeling that at my 6 week post op I will be getting a suture. It's okay. I know eventually this will heal correctly. Right? The good news, however, is that the pain if finally getting better. Nothing remarkable, but, rather, an extra hour or two between motrins or percocets... I've even been able to substitute vicodin occasionally.

And on the subject of pain medication, I am so sad for many of my Sisters when I read about the trials so many people have just to get pain pills! I think it is absolutely unconscionable for doctors to dole out medication in such minute quantities to women in chronic pain. I am lucky and apparently rare in that my doctor has never questioned my need for or limited my access to the medication I have needed or requested. I am not a drug addict (or maybe I am, but not for reasons of getting a high). I am a woman who has been in chronic pain. I can't even imagine the state I would be in if my doctor handed out a paltry 30 pills and told me that was it. I might be suicidal by now if I'd been forced to live with my pain and never have a break from it. I know that legislature in California is working hard to change doctor's knowledge and perception of patients in chronic pain; I believe they require classes for all physicians. I wish that kind of learning was mandatory in every state.

I found out something interesting about vioxx yesterday from my mother. We were both given vioxx on the same day (she pulled a muscle in her side). Apparently, people allergic or sensitive to sulpha should not take vioxx. Oops. Mom is allergic and I am sensitive. This explains why I felt so weird the day I took it; she also had a negative reaction. I am impressed with myself because I had a very strong inner voice telling me not to take it yesterday morning, and I listened to it!. The same voice told me to be wary the first day I took it, but I listened yesterday. We all have that voice. It's good to know that mine steered me in a positive direction. At least something is working right .

~ Clementine