silverdoe's Blog |
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Can not decide |
06-06-2007 - 10:04 PM |
Okay, right now my house is looking like a patchwork quilt. We are having the entire interior painted and I have purchased so many little paint samples to try that I have literally turned several walls into a patchwork of paint. If we were to have unexpected guests I would be mortified. I think that I have gotten the living room, den, entry way and stairwell figured out, but I am undecided on every other room. Why do the brochures look so awesome and when you try it at home it is not even close? I was aiming for a tranquil spa feel for my bedroom and the colors just do not do it for me. DH thinks that I am nuts right about now. Our 16 year old picked out lime green for her room, let me say it is quite the color. I will say this, it should look very cheerful. So here I sit undecided and I have the painters waiting on me to make up my mind. I have decided I am going to resolve this tomorrow before I go to work, I just hope I can live with what I pick. Decisions, decisions.
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6-04-07 |
06-04-2007 - 09:19 PM |
Work, work, work....that is pretty much all I do right now. I have not taken any time off since I went back to work from my hyst so I am definitely looking forward to our vacation. We rented a house on the coast so it should be fun, we are taking our kids, their spouses and the grand kids for a week of fun. We will be there for the 4th of July which is great for a change. Usually we are on our boat watching fireworks,so this year we will be wherever they hold them , I am hoping it is by the boardwalk. We did not take a vacation last year because I had my hyst in June so the summer was all about recovery. The year before we rented a house in Tahoe and the family had a blast, so this year we decided on the coast so we are renting a place in Santa Cruz so the grandkids can hang out at the boardwalk and enjoy some surf. The girls and I have already gone shopping for bathing suits and we even got everyone some 4th of July suits as well. I can not wait to go. In the meantime my sister is flying out from Austin so I am taking 6 days off to spend with her and her family, her first grandchild was born on the 23rd and she is anxious to see her. I downloaded some pics and sent them to her, she can not wait to see her. I am lucky that mine live within a mile of my house, just seeing them makes a bad day turn good.
Well I am off to get things ready for another day of work I will just keep thinking good thoughts and before you know it I will be lounging
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It has been a while |
06-03-2007 - 10:01 PM |
Where does the time go? Days seem to go by so quickly. I received a private message from a Sister asking me how I am doing. I think she thought I had fallen off the face of the Earth it has been so long since I have posted or visited a forum. So I decided to jump on and visited a few forums and responded to a few questions, I still love this site as much as I did last summer. Words can not explain the gratitude that I feel, I was a very anxious person with so many questions before and after surgery and the support from others on this site is just awesome. I am coming up on my one year hysterversary and I feel good. I think that the one ovary that is left is starting to malfunction I am now getting flushed alot and wake up nightly sweating. I guess it is time to visit the Dr. who did the surgery and see if there is anything to relieve it, I can live with it, but it is the lack of sleep that is getting to me more than anything. And I know this is TMI, but I am soooooo dry down there. I guess I better visit the forums for some info. What a difference a year makes. I have not regretted this surgery for one minute, now I just need to conquer the flushes and dryness hurdle.
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04/03/07 |
04-03-2007 - 01:31 PM |
Life can be so darn busy, Gage turned 2 on Friday, old friend from Oregon passed through on Friday, Son and nephew both moving into new homes all weekend. So our truck got a lot of use !!!! My Grandson had a great party, when we were singing Happy Birthday he had the most precious look on his face, he was like "All for me?" he did not want us to quit singing. He loved everything including the cake, got some great pics of it. Granddaughter will be 2 in 11 days, so I am looking forward to another party. I am off work on Friday so I think I will have all of the kids over to color eggs...should be quite messy and fun. I think I will hunt for some great dessert ideas since Easter dinner is always here, I like to try new things to add to the traditional menu. Well I am off to work, I am closing tonight as a favor for someone, it was nice to sleep in!!!
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3.24.07 |
03-24-2007 - 11:58 AM |
Wow I am really getting inconsistent about writing in my journal. I guess it is just a matter of life happens and I am busy in life right now, I really do need to take some time for me. I have been so caught up with work and family and just have not slowed down, which is the case of 99.9 per cent of all women, right? There is always something that needs to be done and always some family drama requiring our attention....sigh. Oh well, it is a gorgeous Spring day and it is going to be really hard to go to work this weekend. It would be therapuetic to work in the yard, but off to work I go!!!! I am sure we will be busy at the store with this great weather and Easter coming soon, we have had a lot of shoppers this week, plus the kids are all on Spring break which definitely increases our traffic and sales. Next Friday my Grandson will turn 2, I had him all day yesterday and then my Granddaughter who will be 2 in April was over as well, I was all over the place with them, I was exhausted when they went home. That was some day off yesterday.... but very enjoyable. Well I need to get ready for work so I will close for now.
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Valentines Day 2007 |
02-14-2007 - 10:01 PM |
I actually slept in until 5:30 this morning, it felt good. I took my time getting into work, I did not get there until 8:15, what a nice change. I left for a meeting at 11:00 that was out of town and got back to work at 5:00, took care of a few things and headed home. Dh left me a gorgeous card and beautiful flowers. He is at work until 11:00 tonight which is why we celebrated last night by going out for a nice dinner. I called my daughter in law to wish her a happy birthday, my son is also at work until 3:00 am so my daughter and her boyfriend are taking my daughter in law out to dinner. I have Destiny (step-granddaughter) staying the night, so I got to do homework tonight It has been awhile, but it is so awesome to see an 8 year old eager to learn. She is so adorable. After homework she wanted to take a bath, she loves the jacuuzi tubs in our house, so I keep running upstairs to see if she is ready to get out. Not yet Grandma is the answer I get, she thinks she is the little mermaid. I think I will offer dessert, that should do the trick. To be honest I am looking forward to getting up and making her a nice breakfast before I take her to school. What is that, some kind of empty nest sydrome??? LOL. It will be short lived I am sure. Well I guess I better go offer her a fabulous dessert so I can get her out of the tub and off to bed. All in all it has been a very nice day.
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2/09/2007 |
02-09-2007 - 09:50 PM |
Well I had a good day, of course any day off is a good day I had a lot of family over, everyone just kept dropping in, my best friend also surprised me and dropped in, she brought me a beautiful large lighthouse for my den, it is absolutely gorgeous. DH loves it because the den is "his" domain. I went with a Coastal decor in there for him, and through the years we have accumulated some nice lighthouses. The only thing I really want now is a divers helmut, I see them on ebay and when we go to San Francisco for a day I always consider purchasing one but have not done so yet. Maybe on the next day trip. We finally got some rain, I really think it is going to be a dry summer out here. I am loving the rain. If I did not have to work this weekend it would be a great time to curl up with a book. As it was, the granddaughters and I made cookies today, they love to bake but actually their favorite part is eating what they bake. DH will be working double shifts Saturday, Sunday and Monday so I am quite sure the cookies will be gone this weekend My prediction is they will go from the cookie jar to someones lunch pail. The girls were very smart to take some home, LOL. Well I am off to get things ready for work. Why do days off go by so fast?
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02/07/2007 |
02-07-2007 - 10:36 PM |
I can not believe it has been this long between posts, time really does fly by. I looked at my last post about my Christmas meltdown and am glad I made it through that. At this point I had to cut off communicating with Mom because it is too upsetting and unhealthy for me. It is a looooooong story between she and her children and just suffice it to say she is a master manipulator. I would never turn my back on her, however I do not need all the games that go along with being close to her. As I type this I feel like I am being harsh but that is not the case, she is just the epitome of dysfunction and I have done all that I can to help her but sometimes enough is enough. She truly does not want a normal life, she can not cope unless there is drama. It is sad but out of my control. Dh is a little mystified because he grew up in a very normal environment, but he does know where I am coming from. He has had to deal with her phone calls as of late. Bless his heart. I know one thing----- we need a vacation and soon. We are talking about taking the kids, their spouses and the grandchildren to Hawaii, the kids know that this is going to be a once in a lifetime vacation because it will be expensive (16 of us including step-grandchildren)but I think it will be fun. We asked them if they wanted to go to the Mexican Riviera or Hawaii and they picked Hawaii. I am hopeful that we can coordinate everyones work schedule and do this, it would be awesome. And like I said unless I win the lottery it is probably the only time we will all go somewhere tropical together. I hope it works out. Well I better go and get ready for another day of work, looking forward to Friday off, I really need to get my roots done..LOL
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Meltdown |
12-29-2006 - 08:55 PM |
Well I have decided that I need to get back in to my doctor to see if I am going through menopause due to one ovary being left or just losing it altogether. I literally had a meltdown Christmas Day, brought on by Mom of course. Or was it ???? I really scared dh because I could not stop crying, could not vocalize what was wrong other than Mom's phone call was upsetting to me. Was I just over tired?? I really do not know, what I do know was that it took me the better part of an hour to compose myself before family (including Mom) arrived. I got through the day, but my heart was not into it this year. My best friend took me to lunch today and told me that she was surprised it took me so long to lose it, she said I have been through a lot in the last 6 months with my surgery, losing my in laws and my Grandmother and dealing with Mom and her issues. In her mind it was overdue. I want to believe it is just the stress of the last 6 months but I want to make sure that is all it is. I even scared myself, my emotions were all over the map and I had no control of my crying. For a control freak like me that is frightening, I like to be in charge of myself and for the last few days I have been trying to figure out what it really is. Oh well, I am just going to make the appointment and get some tests done and go from there. Hopefully 2007 is brighter. I am contemplating some realistic resolutions for the coming year.
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Power shopped |
12-16-2006 - 09:47 PM |
My daughters and I had a wonderful day shopping, it did my heart a lot of good to take off a full weekend and focus on the family for a change. My spirits are much better for it. We started out at the Mall, the girls found quite a lot at the first Mall. We decided to take a lunch break so we called my oldest daughters friend and she met us at Chili's and we all enjoyed a nice lunch, she is a single Mom and it is very hard on her financially. I surprised her at lunch, I slid her some money and told her that I wanted her to take what I was giving her to help buy her 3 kids some things for the Holiday. She broke out into tears and my girls did also so then I did too. After the last few weeks that I have had it did my heart good to see someone so appreciative. I am blessed that I can afford to do that, we gave all of our kids a sizable amount to help them because it was what dh and I wanted to do, and I wanted to do the same for her because she is like a daughter to me. I feel so good inside knowing that her kids will have a good holiday, & my kids and grand kids will have a good holiday as well. After lunch we went back to shopping and for the most part finished up for everyone, stocking stuffers and all. Now comes the hard part....wrapping all of this stuff. I am leaning towards gift bags, LOL. I really just need to go grocery shopping for our Christmas dinner and I am done. Dh and I are going to go shopping tomorrow alone and pick out a family in need on the tree at the Mall and shop for them and drop off the gifts and then take some food to the homeless shelter along with coats that we have picked up. I really needed this weekend, with mil passing away I was really down but doing all of these things is bringing my spirits back up. The saying about it being better to give than to receive is so true, I feel happy and very blessed to be able to give.
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Has it been 3 weeks??? |
12-12-2006 - 09:54 AM |
Since Thanksgiving the weeks have flown by and I have not had time to post or read posts, I have really missed that. Being in retail, this time of the year is crazy for me, I am just now getting a chance to decorate. I am going to let my daughter in law help out with this. This year I am not in the mood and normally I am all about the holidays. We just buried my mother in law yesterday, so since May we have lost my father in law, my grandmother and now my mother in law. 2006 has been a very challenging year for dh and I. I am looking forward to a new year, I pray that it is more joyful than this year has been. I am in a dreary mood so I think I will post when I feel better, I hope this finds all of you healthy and happy, I am going to start digging out decorations and put on some Christmas music, maybe that will help me snap out of it. Take care..
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Happy Holidays to all!! |
11-22-2006 - 08:18 AM |
I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to all sisters, I hope this finds everyone well with a lot to be thankful for. I think that I am getting close to being ready, I made all of the desserts last night when I got home from work, turkey has been marinating for 2 days now and before I leave for work this afternoon I am going to get quite a few appetizers prepped because I will not get home until 1 a.m. probably so that I can get the store ready for Black Friday Well I had better get off of this darn computer and get stuff done before work, I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to all of you, I am thankful for all of you, you have been so helpful in my pre-op, post-op life with words of wisdom and a wonderful sense of humor. Thank you for sharing with me. Enjoy your day with friends and family !!!
's to each and everyone of you!!!
Donna
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Thank you, thank you, thank you |
11-17-2006 - 11:23 PM |
Ladies thank you for all of the posts, especially sisterof3, I took your advice and told Mom to put out something of hers that smelled like the old house, I told her to put it out on the deck. Well Mom did, and she called me this afternoon and told me that her cat has returned. I can not thank you enough for that wonderful advice, my Mom is just ecstatic. I am so glad, I felt just horrible about her losing her cat. I did not know that a cats sense of smell was so sensitive. Anyway I am sending 's your way for the great advice and I thank you very much.
Take care everyone and have a great weekend.
Donna
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Still no Kitty |
11-15-2006 - 06:25 PM |
Thank you everyone for the comments to my post last night, unfortunately we have not found the cat. Mom posted fliers today with a reward for Fuzzy so we are keeping our fingers crossed. She even went by the old house just to see if he went there. No luck. She left food out on the deck and it was gone this morning, but I am sure that it is a neighbors cat, there are so many cats in the neighborhood, but we are still hopeful. Dh went over there while I was at work and looked under the house but no luck with that. We are keeping our fingers crossed and saying a prayer that it turns out for the best.
Take care everyone
Donna
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Moms cat ran away |
11-14-2006 - 09:18 PM |
I talked to Mom today to find out how she slept last night in her new place and she was just sickened because her cat ran out the door when Mom went to get the paper. I am upset as well, I adore all animals and it breaks my heart that the cat is out there totally lost. Mom looked all over the neighborhood, I feel so bad for her. I do not think that the outcome is going to be very good, the cat is in very unfamiliar surroundings and is not going to know where to go. My Mom's old house is at least 10 miles from her new one and I doubt the cat would make it back there, it would be a miracle. I am going to print up some flyers for her, it is just so sad and I wanted her to be so happy in her new place.
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I earned my wings |
11-13-2006 - 09:03 PM |
Whew!!! I took off Friday, Saturday, Sunday and today from work and got my Mom moved into her new home. I put her up in a nice hotel all week long and got busy moving her in, I purchased a new living room set, a new den set, a new bedroom set, all new linens, bathroom sets, flatware, pots and pans, microwave, refrigerator, washer and dryer, and bought her all new clothes. My daughter in law and I went and did all of the grocery shopping yesterday, I could not have done it without her. She was such a tremendous help, my son and dh hooked up all of the appliances and put together a new patio set for the deck, hung blinds and hung artwork. I went to the hotel yesterday and told my Mom to meet me at her new place at 11 am. When she walked in she was absolutely floored, we had the entire house all set up, including all of the decorating. She said it was a dream come true, and that I definitely earned my angel wings. I sure hope so, LOL. So it is a great feeling to know that she is in a new place and just loves it. Dh brought her cat today to the new place, the cat has been with my daughter for a week so the cat is currently hiding under the new bed, he is not sure what to think. I told Mom to give him a few days to get used to his new surroundings and furniture because everything is brand new and it is unfamiliar to him, nothing smells like home to him. I hope he will adjust. I suggested that she keep him in for at least a week to get used to things so he does not try to run off. He seemed very traumatized today. Well I need to go get ready for work tomorrow, mentally and physically, LOL.
Hope you are all doing well, hug's to all! I will catch up on everyones posts tonight and tomorrow. Take care.
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Fall weather is finally here!!! |
11-02-2006 - 10:04 AM |
I love the changes in the season and when you live in California it sometimes happens late. The weather is finally starting to get cool and it even sprinkled a bit last night. I loved it!! I bought a fire pit for our patio and I want to put it out on the patio for the holidays and start decorating for Christmas right now. Is it too soon? I am thinking that I will decorate the patio with the lights, put out the fire pit and decorate a few outdoor patio trees and wait until after Thanksgiving for the front yard and indoors. I have to plan this very well due to working in retail and we all know that the hugest day of the year is the day after T-day. So all of you dear sisters who are out enjoying your holiday shopping the day after T-day think of me, I will be the one who got up at 2:00 am to get ready for the big day and looking very rough by about noon, LOL. But you know what, it is my favorite day, it is madness and very exciting and the day flies by. Well I am going to stop journaling and get ready for work, I am closing tonight. Everyone have a fabulous day!!!!
Take care,
D
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Tonight was great!!!! |
10-31-2006 - 10:19 PM |
I just love the holidays, we had so many Trick or Treaters. I know we had at least 150 kids if not more.We go all out as far as decorating, our house looked really great, the kids loved it. The fog machine was blowing, spider webs everywhere, our arch was lit up, a graveyard leading up to the door, skulls and gargoyles and a life size witch, my granddaughters were very impressed. The girls looked absolutely adorable. Destiny was a snow princess, Haylee was Belle from Beauty and the Beast and Kaitlyn was Minnie Mouse. I will try to post some pics of the girls, they turned out so darn cute. Well the next big holiday is Thanksgiving, I am looking forward to that and then my favorite holiday is Christmas. I just got started shopping, you would think being in retail I would get a jump on it but I never do. Oh well, I will be wrapping at crunch time like I do every year or pay the girls to wrap everyones presents except for their own...LOL. Hope everyone had a great night. Hugs to all !!!!!
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The week flew by |
10-18-2006 - 11:41 PM |
Well I have been off since last Friday, I took some time off to help find Mom a new place, I think we found it, it is just perfect so our realtor is going to submit Mom's offer. I am hoping it is accepted, even Mom is excited about it. I can not believe I got her out of the house to go looking but she did. Dh had a lot to do with that because Mom and I had a huge blow out a few days ago over her husband, but all is forgiven I guess. I did not talk bad about him, I just brought up the fact that I do not trust him and trust me I have soooo many reasons to back that up, but that is a long story. Any way I let the realtor know that I only want my Mom's name on the home, not her husbands.So I need to take Mom and her hubby down to sign papers to that effect tomorrow. It is only right, my Dad and Mom finished paying for that house in 1974, this husband of hers has had nothing to do with it, has never owned a home of his own and yet talked my Mom into putting the house in his name. Well that will not happen with this one, so Mom is going to let him know that. I hope she stays strong and follows our advice, like I explained to her today my only concern is for her well being and future. If I am forced I will go to court for conservatorship over her and her affairs and I would have no problem accomplishing that and her husband knows that. Oh well enough of this, hopefully the next time I post I will have great news concerning Mom. On a happier note tomorrow is Dh's birthday so we will do the family thing which will be fun. He is just so great, I was looking at him today and I just melted, he is so perfect to me. Without a doubt he is the kindest person I have ever, ever known and the most patient. He really is my best friend because I can be happy, sad, mad or just in a lousy mood and he still loves me. I definitely got lucky in the marriage department. Jeez I hope I did not just jinx myself, LOL. Well on that note I think I will turn in for the night with a book until dh gets home at midnight.
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More about Mom |
10-11-2006 - 09:47 PM |
Well yesterday I left work early to go look at some mobile homes for my mom with dh and our realtor, we looked at about 8 and have more to look at on Friday. During this my mom calls my cell phone and tells me she needs more money. I told her I would stop by after looking at the mobile homes. Dh sensed that I was ready to blow up at her so he took me for a drink to relax me a little bit (It took 3 drinks, LOL) then we went to my moms. I spoke with both she and her husband about what my goals are for them, I explained that I do not want her to feel like I am trying to control her but someone has to stop this madness and it is me, I explained what I am trying to accomplish by putting her on a budget and she seems to agree but who knows how long that will last. I certainly felt better about being able to honestly voice my concerns and I let her know that she will be a much happier person if she trusts me to help her with this. I told her that one thing I would like to do is to take her back to Connecticut in the Spring of 2007 so that she can see her brothers, that will give her something to look forward to. Keeping my fingers crossed on all of this, she has not called me for anything today.
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Better mood |
10-09-2006 - 10:49 PM |
Well today is much better, I got home from work and dh was here, he usually works 6 days a week and has Tuesday for a day off but he took off Monday and Tuesday this week. It did my heart a lot of good to walk in to him home and all of the kids, their spouses and the grandkids were here. They all knew dh was off so they all wanted to eat here tonight, so we made a huge dinner and it was hectic and noisy but really lifted my spirits. At that moment I realized how much I have to be thankful for, instead of being tired from work it energized me to have everyone here. Don't get me wrong, I was tired from work but having to cook a huge dinner took my mind off of Mom and work for a change. Dh and I are going to look at some Mobile homes tomorrow for my Mom and hopefully we will get that wrapped up and there will be nothing left but getting her moved. That task alone will be huge, but between my sons, daughters and son in law and dh we should be fine. Well I need to get upstairs and get my clothes together for work, the kids just left and 4:00 in the morning comes early. Dh is off again tomorrow so I am sure the kids will be over again tomorrow night, I better plan on making a huge pot roast dinner. I know one thing, I need to buy another high chair, since both babies are still in them, that way the girls can eat in peace.
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Bad attitude |
10-08-2006 - 09:29 PM |
Today while I was at work I thought of how my attitude has gotten so ugly in the past few weeks. I am trying to pinpoint if it is work, Mom, me or a combination, I still have not figured it out. I do know that work is annoying me because I feel like I am baby sitting all of the time, I seriously do not understand why it is so hard for people to just show up to work on time, do your job and go home without a lot of drama. The lack of work ethic going on with some of these people just astounds me, so some days I leave just agitated and go home with that ugly mood. Then my Mom is driving me batty, I have posted earlier that she is in a financial mess due to her idiot husband, so to make a long story short I have taken over her finances and put her on a very reasonable budget, with the goal in mind to get her into a place that she can afford, and to invest some money so that she will not be in a bind ever again. She agreed to the plan and now she keeps calling me for more money and more money. I talked to she and her husband and I wanted him to account for the $650.00 that they had for "spending money" for the month and he can only account for $240.00 which is a problem since today is only the 8th and I gave it to him on the 4th with the understanding that it needed to last him a month. I had already paid their bills, bought their groceries and other necessities so where the heck did it go? No one can give me a straight answer just we need more money. I told DH this is going to be a pain every day to deal with. He told me to just stick to the plan and hopefully they will get used to it. I sure hope so because she is already stressing me out. Plus it cost my dh and I $1000.00 to get her jewelry from a pawn broker. I had no idea that this had happened until I happened to come across the paperwork while going through her bills. Just unbelievable to me. Well enough said, this certainly is not making my mood any better but it feels good to vent.
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Sold Moms home |
10-02-2006 - 08:12 PM |
Well today is bittersweet, we got a good offer on my childhood home so Mom will be moving. Tomorrow DH and I and our realtor are going to look for a smaller place for my Mom, we are thinking maybe a 2 bedroom mobile home. She said that sounds great, so I am taking off work early Tuesday to start looking around. I hope we find something nice for her, I am still upset about the fact that her husband has her finances in such a mess, but I am trying to let it go. I have had so many conversations with her about it, but I realize it is going in one ear and out the other. She is married to a total idiot and that is all there is to it. Any money that she makes off of the sale of the home is going to pay for the new residence and I am going to insist on taking control of the rest if there is any left, he is not getting his hands on any of it. I don't think there will be much left but no matter what is left I am going to invest it for her. She has agreed to this, thankfully. Hopefully I am getting through to her. We will see. I still have the flu, it has turned into one big coughing festival now, which kind of freaks me out since I had cystocele repairs with my hyst and it was my understanding that coughing a lot was not in the best interest of the bladder. I feel so old today, I can not believe I am worried about my bladder LOL. It sounds like something my Grandma (may she rest in peace) would talk about. Well that being said I am taking this old body into the kitchen to make some more Theraflu..........mmm
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The flu |
10-01-2006 - 10:24 PM |
What a way to spend my weekend off of work, I am not sure if it is the flu or a cold or a combination but it sure has wreaked havoc on me this weekend. I have been living on Green tea, vitamins, water, and tylenol with a little Robitussin thrown in for the cough. I am actually debating taking some Theraflu tonight because I need to rest until my alarm goes off for work tomorrow. I literally spent the entire afternoon in bed today which is something I never do, I almost felt guilty doing it, I kept thinking there are so many things I could be doing. I finally made myself get out of bed at 7:00, so I caught up on my email and I am ready for bed again. I guess I will make some hot Theraflu and head upstairs.
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What a weekend |
09-24-2006 - 07:22 PM |
Well I had a very short visit with my best friend who was out from New Hampshire, as usual my Mom had some drama going on and of course since I am the only child who will have anything to do with her, guess who she calls?? She is getting to me, I told her she is throwing me over the edge. Then she lays the guilt trip on me, honestly. So basically instead of me having to constantly bail her out of her financial mess I am just going to have her put her house up for sale and let her move into a smaller place and hopefully she will manage her money better. Sometimes I wonder who is the parent and who is the child, she is 66 years old and she has never been a responsible person to date. I am just so irritated with her right now.
Last night I got home from work and I was home all of ten minutes and my son calls and says Haylee was in the emergency room, she had a broken arm. I asked how that happened and my son said she was playing with the neighbor girl and that Haylee fell according to the neighbor girls Mom. Well the Doctor told my son and daughter in law that she doubted that because she said the breaks were consistent with falling from a 2 story building. My daughter in law and the doctor asked Haylee what happened and she said the little girl pushed her from the top of the stairs,the Doctor said that sounded more like it. My son and daughter in law called the little girls Mom and told her what Haylee said and the lady did not have much to say except sorry. I am furious because this is the same little girl who took the scissors to Haylee's hair about 4 weeks ago. I am ready to go over there myself and have a chat with this Mom and little girl, is this child displaying behavioral problems or what? So last night Haylee underwent surgery on her arm and may need more. I feel so sorry for her, she is only 4 years old and they gave her morphine for the pain, I did not know that a little one could take morphine. She seems in fine spirits but in pain and if not in pain she is tired and sleeping. I seriously do not think the neighbor girl is normal, she has to have issues. I told my son to keep Haylee away from her for awhile. Well I have been working all weekend and have 4 days to go, so I think I am going to relax (is there such a thing?).
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Full house |
09-21-2006 - 09:30 AM |
I got home from work yesterday and I had a full house, dh was at work but my 16 year old had her boyfriend here, my daughter in law was here with the 3 grandkids and my daughter and her family were here and my 30 year old son was here, so I went from getting off of work mode to cooking a huge dinner mode. It was good practice for the upcoming Holidays LOL although I have more than that here for the holidays. It was nice though a little hectic. The good thing is I am closing the store tonight so I did get to sleep in this morning and now I am doing what I planned on doing last night...laundry. I am getting things done before going to work today so that tomorrow I have time to visit with a friend who is out here from New Hampshire. Well I am off to start the dishwasher and another load of laundry, (sounds exciting), hope everyone is having a great day.
Take care.............
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Got some sleep |
09-16-2006 - 09:22 AM |
I love the mornings, I am always the only one up and I just enjoy the peace and being able to reflect without a lot of distractions. Does that make sense? During the week I am up at 4am and if it is my weekend off I am up by 6am and I absolutely love this time to myself. I guess the thing that I love is that I am alone and with my thoughts before I get pulled in so many directions at work, I do a lot of planning in the mornings. I slept well last night and feel great this morning, so I am motivated to get this day started. I need to go visit my Dad's gravesite (feeling up to it today) and get started on planning for the holidays here at home. I think since my DD is staying with us temporarily I will take her and my grandson to the Grape Festival, I am in the mood to be out and enjoy the cool Fall weather. It is about time the weather changed, it has been so darn hot....90+ degrees, I like the fact that it is quite a bit cooler and breezy, however as my DH pointed out I am still sleeping with a fan blowing on me no matter what time of the year (LOL) I like the noise of the fan and the air blowing on me, is that weird or what? My fan stays on 365 days a year, in fact when I was in the castle I had the nurse bring me a fan!!!! Well now I am rambling, so I better get off of this computer and get my day started. I hope everyone has a great weekend. 's to all of you.
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9-15-06 |
09-15-2006 - 10:56 PM |
Well this has been quite a week, work is just crazy right now. Training is keeping me so busy, plus trying to do my stuff, the days fly by and I am so exhausted when I get home. Tuesday is dh's day off so that was nice, when I got off work we went for dinner, we rarely see each other, I am up at 4:30, get home about 6:30 or 7 at night, he goes to work at 2 and gets home at midnight. I think some time in October I am going to take a long weekend so that I am off Monday and Tuesday and he and I can either fly to Vegas for a weekend or go to a place we like to stay in Bodega Bay.
Then hopefully I will feel ready for all that the holidays bring. My daughter, her significant other and my grandson all moved in last week so that they can save money for a down payment on a house, so it has been nice coming home to my grandson. He is 18 months old and a little terror, I am trying to teach him "nice", meaning I want him to pet my dogs and cats, not slap them. The lesson is an ongoing battle LOL, he is just not getting it. My 18 month old granddaughter is a sweetie with them, they don't run from her but they sure scatter when they see the grandson. I hope they all adjust soon. Well today is bittersweet for me, today my Dad who I absolutely idolized and adored would have been 68. What is so heartbreaking for me besides the fact that I miss him so much is the fact that he never will meet my grandchildren or see how awesome my kids turned out. My Dad died from bone cancer at the age of 57, much too young; that is without a doubt the hardest loss I have ever had to deal with, it has been 11 years in November and sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday. My Dad was a wonderful person, and I miss him so much some days. I always wonder if he would be proud of my accomplishments, and I think he would. He would have just loved being a Great Grandpa since 2 of my kids have become parents, but that will never be. My best friend and I went to lunch today and talked about my Dad, it was nice to be able to talk about him with someone who knows what he meant in my life. I was going to go to the cemetary and decided it would be too emotional so I will go out tomorrow. Well I think that I am going to go upstairs to read and relax. Oh yeah Wednesday was my 3 month hysterversary, I love how this site marks your milestones, they sent me an email and I still need to read it in detail. I feel good physically just a bit exhausted, but hopefully that will level out.
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Training,training and more training. |
09-06-2006 - 08:35 PM |
Jeez, since I have been back at work I have barely had time to breathe. I had a lot of catching up to do which meant some very long days and this past week I have been training a new exec for our company. I really do not mind the training at all, it has been fairly easy because she was promoted from within, so she will be with me for 4 weeks and is familiar with company practices but today my district manager let me know that I am simultaneously (did I spell that right LOL?) going to be training another new exec only this person is brand new, which requires a lot of training and time and this person is with me for the next 5 weeks. AAAAHHHH I just feel a little overwhelmed today, it has been just crazy. I just got back to work and now I am ready for a vacation....LOL
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Is summer really over? |
09-03-2006 - 10:51 PM |
Had a great day, my son, daughter in law and two of the granddaughters and myself decided to go to the State fair, we had a blast. We took my new car up to the fair and it was a nice drive. The baby loves the sun roof and all of that fresh air blowing on her. Too bad dh has to work weekends, I get off every other weekend and really miss doing things with him. I took a lot of pics of the kids on all of the rides to show him. The kids went on so many rides, I went on some with Haylee and of course the rides were spinning type rides, I was dizzy by the end of the day. I could not talk her into the double Ferris wheel, she wanted nothing to do with that. My son and daughter in law went on all of the crazy rides, it was good to see them having fun. They don't always get to go places because their finances are tight right now, so this was my treat. And it was worth it, there is nothing like happy, smiling faces on those that you love. It was so hot, I have a horrendous sunburn, I took a shower when we got back and slathered aloe vera all over. I should have used the kids sunblock but I did not think about it, I am not sure what I was thinking, it was 95 degrees again today. It is hard to believe summer is over, it went by so fast. The weather in California tells a different story, it is still hot tonight, I have the air conditioner going and it is nearly 10 pm. Well Fall will be coming soon calendar wise and I am looking forward to it, I love getting ready for Halloween and helping plan the costumes for the grandchildren and I absolutely love Thanksgiving and Christmas. The holidays are my most favorite time of the year, I love planning them, I love cooking the meals and just having our whole family together. So even though summer may be ending (I spent all of it recovering) the Fall holds a lot of promise. I really feel great and I look forward to the holidays.
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The weekend is finally here |
09-01-2006 - 09:32 PM |
I am so glad that the weekend is finally here, actually I had today off and will return to work Tuesday. After this week I welcome a little R&R. I went to get my hair done finally,after surgery I had told my doc that I had an appointment 2 weeks into my recovery to get highlights, my doctor and colorist advised against it stating that my system should have about 3 months to process it, so I waited 12 weeks and finally had it done today. I am wondering if I should have waited longer, it looks a little brassy to me. Maybe I am being too critical. I will wait a few days to see how it looks.
Well I finally made the time to go purchase a new car, DH has been after me for 3 months to go down and see what I like, I just never felt like it. He really forced my hand the last 3 days, so he and I went Tuesday and shopped, I made my decision on Wednesday and picked it up Wednesday after work. I love it but I need to start reading the manual because I do not know how the navigation system works, the sensor to open my garage when I pull in, or the command center that calls phone numbers that I program in. I had to have one of my sons show me where the button was for the sun roof. So between doing laundry, cleaning and some yardwork I am going to read this darn manual this weekend.
I finally got my Mom settled down a bit, we got her all of her meds, I still need to do research on why her meds cost so darn much when she is on a fixed income. I also bought a lot of groceries, I want to make sure that she is eating healthy. She seems to be so helpless and I am having a very hard time with this because when I was growing up she was mean, abusive and horrible to be around. My sister has had nothing to do with her for 15 years and my brother has not for at least 10 years. My Mom and I have never had a good relationship, I avoided her for many years but now I feel very torn because she is still my Mom. If I don't show compassion how can I expect my kids to show it if I ever need them later in life? I wrestle with this daily now, part of me wants to tell her how horrible she was and why should I help(that is the immature me), the mature me just says suck it up, she is still your Mom. I fear I will be wrestling with this for awhile.
Well I better get started on laundry so that maybe Saturday will be a less stressful day.
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Good to go |
08-26-2006 - 10:48 PM |
Well I saw my doctor on Friday, she said that I have healed well, now just go and enjoy myself. She asked how sex was going and I told her my husband and I notice a difference in the length of my vagina. I told her he is hitting something, I seem much shorter. She assured me that it would become more elastic with time. I sure hope that is the case, it isn't painful, it's just not very accommodating. I guess time will tell. I asked her if I was supposed to come back yearly and she said she wanted to see me in April. I only have my left ovary and I told her I seem to be getting flushed and sweating easily, she said if it continues she may put me on the patch. Guess I had better start researching that in the event that I need to take hormones. Maybe surgery kicked going through menopause into overdrive even though I have the one ovary left. Prior to surgery I had no symptoms of menopause. Just wicked PMS
I talked to my mom today and I am going to have to do some research on Medicare because my poor mom is paying close to $400.00 a month out of pocket for meds and she can not afford that. That is with Medicare part D. So I went to the web site and I went to the SSA website and I think that I see a lot of paperwork in my future since I offered to help her with this stuff. I feel bad for her, it is just ridiculous that someone has to worry about how they are going to afford their meds every single month. I am going to do a lot of research on this because I can not believe some of these things, what a healthcare system!!! If worse comes to worse I am going to cover her costs for her so she is not struggling monthly. I had no idea she was, she always tries to make everything seem okay. I guess I need to be more involved now that I know. Well I think I am going to enjoy the rest of my Saturday evening and read until dh gets home from work, dd is out with friends so it is just me and all of our furbabies until he gets home. I got so much accomplished today that I deserve to read and relax. Hope everyone else is having a great weekend, I go back to work tomorrow after having Friday and Saturday off.
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Haylee |
08-21-2006 - 09:31 PM |
Well I got home from work tonight and my 16 year old dd had decided to pick up the 4 year old granddaughter Haylee. Haylee is starting school on Wednesday so Melanie wanted to have her stay the night before school starts. Haylee loves her auntie. Haylee had a sleepover last weekend at her house (Destiny stayed with me because we went school shopping for her last weekend.)Anyway during this sleepover Haylee decided to show her friends the backpack and school supplies I had bought her, one of her little friends decided to try out the blunt tip scissors on Haylee's hair. Needless to say it was a mess and my daughter in law had to take her to the salon to fix it. So now Haylee has a short pixie cut, her first words to me were Grandma do I look ugly. I assured her she is as gorgeous as always. Thank goodness she has a face that can handle a short cut. I actually like it, daughter in law is having a tough time getting used to it...LOL. DH is taking her school shopping tomorrow since I will be working, he should have a lot of fun at the mall with a 16 year old and a 4 year old. I told him to plan to spend his day off at the mall, I am sure those girls will wear him out and break the bank LOL I had my fun with Destiny last weekend so now it is his turn. Well I better go spend some time with the girls, tomorrow is an early day for me.
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Getting caught up |
08-16-2006 - 09:35 AM |
Well I finally feel like I am getting caught up at work, today will be a week back and I have gotten a lot done. I am going to close the store tonight and tomorrow night and will get to see the night team. Working at night goes by so fast. I do so much walking I am really thinking about putting a pedometer on me when I am at work to see how much distance I travel. I was so spoiled when I was off for surgery because I was in flip flops all summer and let me tell you last week my feet were hating me for having to wear shoes 12-13 hours out of the day. This past weekend when I was shopping with one of my Granddaughters I decided to get a new pair of shoes for work and it sure made a difference. My feet are thankful this week. Other than still trying to adjust to getting up at 4 am daily I feel good. I got to sleep in until about 6:30 today and I will not leave for work until 1:30 this afternoon so I can do some cleaning and my 2 loads of laundry before going in to work. I have my final appointment next Tuesday with my doctor, not really sure why, I have already been for my 2 week and 6 week appointments, went back to work at 8 weeks. Oh well, whatever. While I am there I am going to ask her to call the lab so that I can get my annual mammogram done. Then I should be good to go for the year. I do need to ask her if I need to come back yearly since I do have one ovary left. I also have read so many posts on this sight about cystocele and rectocele repairs not holding up and ladies having to go back for repeat surgery, I DO NOT WANT THAT. I am trying to be careful about lifting and making sure I do not get constipated, I am borderline paranoid about the A&P repairs not holding up. Oh well that is another post for another day.
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TGIF |
08-11-2006 - 09:03 PM |
TGIF~ I am so glad it is here. I ended up putting in 37 hours in 3 days just to get caught up at work since I was off for 8 weeks, and being tired has caught up with me. While I was off I slept so well and much longer, since Tuesday I have averaged about 4 hours a night, definitely not enough. Hopefully I will level out next week, I guess just anxiety about going back to work and getting caught up. I am not running on adrenaline tonight LOL. I have my oldest Granddaughter staying the night tonight, I promised to take her school shopping tomorrow so that should be fun, she loves shopping with Grandma It's a great excuse to go to the mall. I am going to order a Santa suit after I finish this post so my DH will have it for Christmas, my 16 month old Grandson and 15 month old Granddaughter will be at a great age this Christmas. I need to start Christmas shopping too, the buying is the easy part it is the wrapping that I dislike, so I thought maybe if I get a head start it would not be so overwhelming. Well I think that I am rambling, I am sure glad that I am off this weekend, I need to do a little recuperating before a full work week next week.
Thank goodness I only had a 3 day work week this week.
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8/09/06 |
08-09-2006 - 09:49 PM |
Well I made it through day 1 at work, I put in 12 hours today. Actually time flew by quickly because I had so many emails to get through, 2 conference calls and really needed to catch up with the team members. My team members make my job worth it, I have some really great people at work. I should feel tired because I did not sleep well last night (anxious about work I guess) but I feel good right now. I am sure next weeks journal post will have quite a different tone, LOL. I will probably be dragging by then. I have a feeling once I go upstairs and lie down I will feel a little tired, I feel like I am running on adrenaline right now. I know one thing, I was doing such a great job at eating very healthy while at home and today I just blew it, I had a burger for lunch so I decided that I am going to make a nice salad and take it with me. It is so easy to grab fast food and Starbucks when at work and I do not want to start that again. The iced Carmel Macchiato from Starbucks is something like 380 calories, I do not need that daily. I developed some great habits at home and I need to stick with it, I lost weight while at home and feel more energetic. Hopefully that means that my anemia is disappearing, I will find out next visit on the 22nd. Well I better quit typing and go make that salad.
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Back to work tomorrow |
08-08-2006 - 03:26 PM |
Well it is finally here, tomorrow is back to work day , plus it is 8 weeks since surgery and it is also my wedding anniversary!!! Very eventful day.
John and I decided to spend my last few days out of town so he picked Reno so that we could gamble a bit. I prefer Tahoe because of the scenery, but it was nice all the same to get away for a few days alone. We had a good time despite not winning. LOL I am a bit anxious about the long days ahead but once I am back in the saddle so to speak I will probably adapt quickly to being at work again. Well I am off and running to get my work clothes ready and get some grocery shopping done, I doubt if I will want to do it tomorrow after work.
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7 more days and back to work |
08-02-2006 - 04:27 PM |
Wow my 7 weeks is here today, next Wednesday I report back to work. I am preparing myself mentally, I am thankful that my doc gave me a full 8 weeks off to recover but it sure makes it hard to go back willingly I will be going back just in time for the holidays, in retail we start setting some of it in September and by October 31st it is all about the holidays. Am I ready for this??? My fatigue since surgery is going to have to take a back seat to the hustle and bustle of the shopping season, because my normal 10-12 hour days are going to become a lot longer. Oh well that is the nature of the business. I went by work today to meet up with some of my team members because we lost a team member to cancer. The situation is sad anyway and when her 8 year old son stood up and spoke about his Mom and how she was the best it just broke everyones heart. And if that was not heartbreaking enough at the end when everyone walks past the casket her son climbed halfway in the casket to kiss his Mom goodbye. I just lost it, such a brave little boy. I can tell you anything that I think I am going through does not even compare to what that little guy is experiencing. Seeing that sure puts things in perspective. In other words I am very blessed to be here, and have the best family and friends to share my life with and a job to go back to. I think that needs to be my daily mantra so that I do not take for granted or worse yet forget how blessed I am, even on my so called "bad days".
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6 week mark |
07-27-2006 - 08:29 PM |
Okay, yesterday was my 6 week mark and I absolutely feel back to my normal self. I woke up this morning and deep cleaned my house because I was tired of looking at things that needed to be done. My dh does help a lot but I am a deep cleaner and a fanatic about it. It is so hard to relax when you can see things that need to be done. There is a huge difference between my standards of clean and his, but bless his heart he did his best. The doctor gave me the all clear on Tuesday and said that I am healing fine, I do have some stitches still but she said the cystocele and rectocele repairs are healing very well, and I am good to return to work on August 10th. She did say that I should never lift more than 15 pounds, could that possibly be true?? I am not sure I heard her correctly, so I guess I better call her back. That is definitely going to have an impact on my job. The only thing that I really notice different about me is fatigue, I doze off for a nap every day, I sure won't be doing that when I go back to work, I am trying to mentally prepare myself for the 10-12 hour days. Well I still have 2 weeks to get ready, hopefully I will feel even better by then.
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Five weeks is here |
07-20-2006 - 12:07 AM |
Well I hit the 5 week mark today I woke up feeling sluggish, I used to be able to bounce right out of bed and since surgery I am slow moving. I can not imagine getting up and getting ready for work in a few weeks. Speaking of work, I went to see everyone which was great, but after I left I realized that I am dreading going back, it is not my passion.. I used to love it but now it is just a job. I am so not looking forward to it, I have had so much time at home recovering, I have done a lot of thinking in this time and I came to the realization that my job does not excite me in any way. So it is going to be a challenge for me to embrace the fact that I am going back in a few weeks. Why can't I just win the lottery? As far as my recovery I feel that everything is going okay, I over did it a bit carrying groceries into the house and I felt it immediately. I seem to forget that I am still healing sometimes I go back to my doctor next week for my 6 week check up and I will find out if I am healing okay internally. I have had no bleeding or anything so that is a good sign, just soreness when I over do it. I hope I am healing okay internally, I do not want to go back for repair work of any kind...
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4 week mark |
07-13-2006 - 09:48 PM |
Well this has been quite the week. I have done everything possible to avoid constipation and this week that is all I am thinking of. I bought prune juice, ginger ale, prunes and I am still not producing "results". I have never thought about BM's before and now I am obsessed. I feel like my Grandmother,( I am taking Fiber choice,) eating fruits and vegetables and drinking gallons of water. I stopped my vitamins and iron which I should not stop due to severe anemia, but I would rather get regular and deal with the anemia later. I had a rectocele and I am so afraid that because I have been constipated I have probably ruined the repair my Doctor did. I will definitely ask her when I go for my 6 week checkup. That is my biggest fear right now. John had to have a colonoscopy Tuesday and he did Fleet phospho? soda and it cleaned him out so maybe I need to do the same. I can not believe my life has become centered around a bowel movement, this is so not me.
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3 weeks and starting to feel better |
07-06-2006 - 10:47 PM |
Well finally I am starting to feel more normal I feel like I have turned a corner in my recovery. Week one was a blur because of the pain meds and I was so darn emotional. I had a few crying spells, not sure why either because my Doctor left one ovary. My body was really going through a lot, I was hot/cold and my emotions were all over the map I did not do much except for take a shower and venture downstairs when I got tired of my bedroom. Week 2 was when I started to feel antsy and got bored so I started doing things that I should not have such as light cleaning and laundry and did I ever pay for it. I was in pain and became frantic that I may have done something to all the work my Doctor did. This was also when I really noticed that it really hurt to urinate. I immediately started on loads of cranberry juice and other fluids, it is getting better. I guess it was just a part of my body healing. So this week I am feeling less sore due to the fact that I have really been taking it easy, I made up my mind that I need to make this recovery my focus and to do it right. This website has been a lifesaver, I have learned more about pre-op fears and post-op recovery here than I ever could from my Doctor or friends who have never had a hys. I am looking forward to all of my tomorrows and a happy and healthy life.
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