| 1 step forward; 2 steps back... Blood again
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06-25-2004 - 09:57 AM |
It's ironic that the two times I have felt like I was really turning a corner, I have run smack into a brick wall! The first was Monday when I felt great all day and then had the hematoma at night that caused bleeding, pain and fatigue for two days. Yesterday, I finally felt the return of some energy and, more importantly, a lessening of the pain. The percocet seemed like it was too strong and I was able to go further and further between motrin pills.
This morning was the first time I woke with an absence of major pain. Elated, I went to the bathroom, only to discover that I had bled through my pad and onto my underwear. Again, bright red. As I sat, more blood dripped into the toilet water and when I wiped, blood showed on the paper. I am so discouraged!!! I phoned my nurse and she told me that I might need to have my vaginal cuff cauterized and to phone back in two hours to let me know if the bleeding stopped. Well, it has slowed, but not stopped.
Now, I'm waiting to hear back about what I should do. Dr. Expert is in surgery today and is then on vacation for a week, so I don't know if I will be able to see him. I'm terrified of seeing someone else. I trust only Dr. Expert. Maybe that sounds silly, but it's true. He is the one who is the most qualified about these things... the one who goes to conferences and presents information and is up on all the current trends and beliefs. He is the one who women travel from other cities and states to see. I know there are other doctors in the hospital who are probably quite competent, but they are not him.
Instead of taking a percocet today I took a vicodin. I don't have the stabbing pain, but I do have a dull cramping, as if a big period is on the way. I wonder how much more intense that would be if I wasn't on 800mg. of motrin and a vicodin... My DH and I are scheduled to have our first real date tonight. We have Super babysitter "K" coming to watch the kids and we are supposed to go to a retirement dinner for a colleague. I want to go!!! I feel well enough to go, in spite of this setback. I'm sick of being sickly.  He's sick of me being sickly too; he's sick of doing both our jobs and he's exhausted. He's being good about it, but I feel guilty. He thinks that I caused the bleeding because I overdid it, but I don't think I did overdo it and I don't think the bleeding has anything to do with my being active or not.
To compound the situation, my DS "W" has been in a funk for about a week now. He's alternates between being an absolute angel to being a sassifrass. You never know which "W" you will get. This morning I don't have the patience to play the guesing game. He's also on what we call the "world revolving around "W"" mode. He's upset because he can't have a play date this afternoon because I might need to go to the doctor. I'm trying be compassionate and realize that to a 10 year old this is a big fat drag (it's no fun being in a house where someone is recuperating, period), but the other part of me feels like he's being awfully self-centered and I thought I raised him better than that (I know, I know, all kids are like this, but still...). I nearly had babyE down for a nap (and me too) and he came barreling into the room and plopped down on the bed to ask a question. At 10 1/2 years old he should know to come in the room quietly and whisper when I am putting the baby down. So now she is awake and raring to go, and I am impatient. DH is teaching a lesson downstairs and then he will be able to take over.
Sorry to be such a pill. I'm going to nap awhile and when I wake hopefully I will feel stronger and less afraid. I don't want to be cauterized!
~ Clementine
P.S. Today it is three weeks since my surgery.
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| gemsab
said at 06-25-2004 - 10:34 AM |
Leslie, alot of ladies need to be cauterized so you are not alone. I do hope you get to see your doctor today as I think it is waranted at this point. You will feel relieved and be able to enjoy your weekend. PLEASE do no fret............you are still very early in your recovery. I bet you make a real turning point by the end of next week.  s
Emily
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| icare4bunnies
said at 06-25-2004 - 10:36 AM |
Oh, Clementine....
You have your ovaries, right? I had this little question pop into my mind - could it be your hormones? I mean, you feel good (hormones kinda balanced) and then the blood comes.... Sometimes I felt good at odd times (before surgery) and I could just about line up those good feeling times to premenstrual w/out ovulation. Those months when I had no pain at ovulation I would have a spurt of good feeling premenstrual - like the progesterone shift was different or something.
Ok, I am rambling. I am tired. I can't imagine what on earth I'm going to charge for my pieces at this rate. zzzzzzzzz was there ever a time when I was awake?zzzz I think so, but I can't rememberzzzzzz
I do so hope you get some relief soon.
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| Moonchime
said at 06-25-2004 - 11:53 AM |
Clementine-- s! I am so sorry to hear of this scary setback.
I'm praying that your doctor will see you and take care of everything for you.
I can understand that you don't want to be cauterized. I was always fearful of that also. But, for what it's worth--I've heard that it isn't really so bad.
I want you well!!! So, your doctor has to see you before he leaves on vacation.
I am praying for you. Please keep us updated. With much love, ~Moonchime
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| Northlights
said at 06-25-2004 - 01:26 PM |
Clementine
Hon, you have offered me so much support this last while...now I'd like to offer you comfort and a big ! You are a very special caring lady, and I so appreciate your friendship.
I'm so sorry about the bleeding hon, wishing there were something I could do. However know this....hematomas are VERY common, as I've learned here at HS. Hopefully when you get it cauterized it will be all taken care of, and then I am praying that the rest of your recovery will be smooth sailing.
Also...about your ds sorry I must giggle  he's being 10 1/2! I have one at home right now who is being 4!....He's used to getting all of the attention, and now seems a bit sad that most of the attention from dh is going to me.
I know you're frustrated, but I also know you will get better. And believe me, I understand your thing with Dr. Expert, as I feel exactly the same way about Dr. Prince Charming. Nobody else will EVER measure up!
much love
Tam
(Northlights)
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| californiagal
said at 06-25-2004 - 02:58 PM |
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I'm so sorry that you have to go through this additional procedure. It was tough enough to go through the surgery. Have faith that all will be well. I'll be thinking of you.
Rosanne
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| deegeorge
said at 06-25-2004 - 05:49 PM |
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Hi Leslie......... I am so sorry that you have been going through this.... I KNOW YOUR THINKING GEEEEEEEEEEZ DOES THIS EVER END? Well I know it will... just hang in there. Maybe you will feel better after this is all over... and maybe the carerization will help with the bleeding. I sure hope so ... and I am here for you and I am praying that you are ok and you get better soon. I know this is terrible for your entire family to have the stress of you not breezing through this recovery process but.... they love you and I know they want you better, as do all of us here at hystersisters...
Good luck today and I will check in later tonight to see if you have checked in with us to let us know how you are. Please rest and try not to overdue by going out on the town. You have plenty of time to do that. Take care sweetie and remember I care about you and hope you get better
Dee
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| icare4bunnies
said at 06-25-2004 - 07:21 PM |
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Is there something in the water? Tomorrow has to be better. Has to be. I hope you got to your date.
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