Virginia Lady's Blog |
Blog Notes : 197 notes |
Comments : 1006 | Readers : 19139 |
WOW, we had an earthquake and now a Hurricane |
08-27-2011 - 01:58 AM |
I am at work, I have not had the chance to update the progress of Hurricane Irene, as she approaches our coast. But the earthquake we had on the 23rd , a few days ago made us all a little antsy! It is rare at best for Va to have that, we had no idea what was happening to us.
Just realized have not written in a year, Great day in the morning, guess I have a little catchin up to do.
I sold my mothers home, my childhood home and that is a big load off the plate. My mother has been moved to a new assisted living facility and doing well.
We celebrated her 80th birthday May 7th. She is doing very well. and that makes me happy too.
I had a short hospital visit myself in July , had a small bowel obstruction and was admitted , The adhesions are pulling on my organs I suppose and needed to rest the gut.
I had a colonoscopy and endoscopy yesterday and went well, I had to do it under anesthesia because I always wake up during light sedation because of the adhesions it takes too long otherwise. The Dr found one polp and removed that.
My sister moved across the country in Sept. I have accepted it and its fine. I wen tout to Seattle and spent a few days with her in April at Easter time and had a great time, It is beautiful on the Pacific Northwest coast. I saw the eagles flying over the inlet and the beautiful mount Olympia. We went to Pikes Market Place and that was nice.
I am gettign ready for a beach trip to the Outer Banks in 2 weeks , if the Hurricane that is approaching tonight doesnt wash it away, We will be going to Duck NC.
Miss chatting here with y'all. I do admit Facebook pulls me in alot but this venue I reserve for my more private stuff, LOL like colonoscopies! Love ya mean it! Linda
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08-29-2010 - 03:28 AM |
08-29-2010 - 01:28 AM |
So here i am because so much of my life I prefer to avoid being all over Facebook, Its amazing the diffference a little journaling can do.
I have been thru it again with my mother. She got better and did get to go home (again) June 2nd, only to fall again and it was while I was in Chicago in June, so on June 29th , back she went to the nursing home, and she had more therapy for 2 weeks, at which time they decided , okay we are done , she is now released from needing therapy, so after just 2 weeks this time, the medicare payments stopped and my mother became self pay. meantime I was under the very incorrect assumption that she would get Medicaid and that was that and then they could pay her bills, NOT! She doesnt qualify for it as she still gets a pension check and a social security check for life , BUT its not enough to pay the huge self pay bill , , I made the decision to give the Nursing Home a 30 day notice and , now am faced with finding an assited living that we can afford, the bill I had to pay for her Nursing home from July 17 (when she went self pay) till Sept 30th was 17,000. So I paid and I now have to hope and pray I can get a contract on her home, I had to list her home for sale, and its the hardest thing, It was the childhood home I grew up in, My parents bought it in 1961, and were there till my daddy died in 2007, mother stayed there with her caregivers and me, and we went back and forth and back and forth numerous times after trips to Nursing home and then back, so NOW, I ahve my mothers home on the market, have a wedding in Chicago in 3 weeks, and am trying to find a new place all before end of Sept. I only have one sister, and she lives in Illlinois and is honestly not helpful, and in fact has informed me she and her family are moving to Washington State, for a job transfer, which makes her even farther away. Yes , if I sound bitter, well, yeah ya darn right, I am worn out from the years of carryign this load solo, I NEED a break.
I have been weepy and depressed, anxious and labile, and even though I should be so happy about my daughters wedding, I am stressed beyond words. DH and I have been kind of fighting alot and we are just starting to make an effort to spend some time together and appreciate each other. Today we went for a nice hike on a trail in the woods and then a Nature Center, so that was nice. But a person can take but so much and he is likely pretty sick of my stress and constant involvement with my mother,
My sister keeps telling me I need to get some counseling , I do not really think it will help, and frankly till the end of Sept , there is no time for that.
My mother knows we are selling her home, it was her home for 49 yrs, so I get that, but we need to create some funds to take care of her.
I wish I had more light news , but thats it . I am gonna get thru it, am gonna be fine and this I know, always come thru my storms, so , just thought if I shared some of it , I would feel better, so , hey thanks for listening, and for those of ya that do see me over on FB, I will keep it light there! Hope I can get back on board for my group therapy here lol! Linda
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May 5 2010 2am |
05-05-2010 - 12:32 AM |
So I am at work, just went to read some journals and replied to a request for an opinion, and figured what the hell. I will update mine.
The past 5 months have been full, some good some bad. I had a great trip to Florida the end of March, and if you are on Facebook, I posted some pics.
My mother was discharged from the Nursing Home on Jan 25th and we hired almost 24 hr care, Pretty darn pricey. Had a Life Alert pendant for her in case she fell or needed help when nobody was there.
Last week she fell, while a caregiver was there, in the bathroom hit her head on the porcelain tile floor. Had to be sent by squad, had a small subdural hematoma, and then they admitted her, she was okay till they noticed her heart rate was only around 35-40 a minute, NOT good. It explained why she had fallen, she had in effect passed out which now it did all make sense, So we consulted a cardiologist and she got a pacemaker , and after 4 days ws moved back into the same Nursing Home she spent Nov thru Jan in, I am doubtful if she will be able to go back home this time.
I am becoming pretty darn worn down and beat from this back and forth and all the in betweens, managing her bills, her meds, her caregivers hours, her Dr visits, her groceries, etc etc etc.
My daughter is still engaged to be married in Sept. I am in Va, her wedding will be in Chicago. That in itself will be a challenge!
I am planning on a trip to see her next month for a shower, and then we will go out for a week before the wedding. In a way I am excited and in a way I cannot wait for it to be over.
I have enjoyed those of you that took the Facebook plunge, and yes there is a big difference, This is better in that you get to journal here, There is no way Id put all this on my little Facebook wall!
And Facebook does not have these little guys.
Love ya'll Mean it
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Merry Christmas my good friends |
12-26-2009 - 04:17 AM |
A day late , ha ha , and a dollar short, as the old saying goes. I worked last night and , in fact am at work right now.
did a few short speed reads of some of your journals. Noted so mnay names that are still regulars here, and know I have been awol alot.
I just wanted to say I do remember you all and stil cherish the friendship, the support, the laughs , the secrets we shared, all of the outpouring of emotions, here
and have missed it alot!!.
I fell into the Facebook cycle, and it is slightly beginning to wear old,. This site here is much better , as far as blogs go.
My mother has been in hospital and rehab, and is now in a Nursing Home, may come home Jan 7th.. more later..
So , for now , I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!! Linda
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Hello strangers |
07-24-2009 - 07:21 AM |
I have no idea why, I had an urge , an old itch to scratch, so to speak, coming back here to blog with my true blue hystersisters.
Good Lord when I realized it has been a couple of months... again, I wont even make lame apologies. Noni knows (and BirkyLady) I am a Facebook Junkie now. I blog and stay in touch there, I dont do the Twitter thing, never got into that, but Facebook has proven to be a venue that I truly enjoy. I have reconnected with friends from as far back as grade school, and old neighborhood kids and kids I went to Sunday School and Church back in the 60's, Then alot of nurses that I have worked with over the past 30 yrs, and of course a few hystersisters, So if any of you have not ventured onto Facebook , do try it, It just grows on it self. PM me and I will get ya a link to my page, Patty , you esp will love it, with your band following , you can get into alot of that. Its just alot more user friendly than My Space. Okay nuff said on that.....
Lets see. we have bene taking a few mini trips this summer, Weekends at the lake condo, and we just ahd a 4 day trip down to Myrtle Beach SC.
My biggest and most exciting news is my daughter got engaged two weeks ago. Her boyfriend took her to Hawaii for a trip to celebrate her passing State Board Licensure for a RN . He had it all planned out, and on the 4th nite , which was a Sat, he took her out on a sunset dinner cruise off of Waikiki , He had brought the diamond ring along and after dinner they walked outside on the deck of the boat and he popped the question. She , of course was so gidy and excited, So she took a pic of the ring with her cell phone, and then called me. It was 12 midnight here and that was 6 pm in Hawaii, and she said, Mom I know its late but, etc etc, I said NO, actually I am at work! So it was so funny , we talked and laughed and I was thrilled, after we hung up, I sent the picture of her hand with the ring via cell to my sister in Illinois, and by then it was 1 am, my sister was aslepp, and heard her cellphone make a beep when the pic went thru, it woke her , and she texted back and said, Linda why are you wakin me up with a picture of your hand? (My hands and DD are shaped the same). I had to laugh at that! I wrote back and said, NO its Lauren's hand and her new engagement ring!
So.... now we have a wedding to plan, and thats another whole issue. She is wanting to get married in Chicago and thats fine , but will be a bit of a hassle to help her make plans from here. So for now it will be next July or August, and in Chicago.
I am looking forward also to my only sister and her family driving down to see us in August. I have not had her visit in a year.
I made a fresh cherry cobbler from a recipe I got online the other day, and it was smackyo momma good. Ha Thats a saying we have here.
A bunch of people around here are doing that ridiculous master cleanse where you fast from any food for 10 days and drink a concoction of lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper! Then you do a salt water laxative purge and. bam ya lose 10 lbs, BUT guess what ? The as soon as you resume eating, that's right it comes right back. I am amazed at how fairly intelligent people fall into these fads , . It just cannot be healthy. Google master cleanse diet and read more, if you wish. Its just not for me.
I believe in the tried n true method. Exercise more, eat less and eat in moderation, I have had good success when I eat low carb, but after a few months, I start to find I crave fruits and some pasta, and there goes that! Ha ha , I am as weak as they come.
I hope every one of you are having a good summer and enjoying all of lifes goodness. I see a few new names here and , figured Id better get back in the loop before my regulars forget who I am!!
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Addendum previous note, re. Photos |
05-26-2009 - 10:50 AM |
Hi again. so anyway, I left work at 4 am, due to it being a low patient census, I slept from 5 am till 10 , and I just added about 5 or 6 pics from my Chicago trip, which included my new haircut and color. Marta , you specially asked for pics, so there ya go. Noni O, I have responded to your Facebook req so any other takers> get on Facebook its a lot of fun, and you get to control what is seen and not , . My hubby even does it and he is a computer geek. Gosh I missed you all. Melanie , you still here Muffy?????? Patty , I need a day to catch up with your wonderful punctual entries! lol Linda
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Memorial Day |
05-26-2009 - 01:46 AM |
Took a drive down to NC, celebrated two birthdays, and on the way home, stopped in Bedford Va at the D-Day Memorial, which is awesome and very well done. Yesterday was some lawn work, gardening and dinner out with stepdr and grandkids. followed by a nap, then to work at midnight, and this is where I am now.
My trip to Chicago was great, We had five good days filled with loads of walking, sightseeing and shopping, as well as fodd food food. One thing that was somwhat surreal was having dinner out one pm with my DH and daughter and my ex husb, and his wife! That has never occurred before, but we were all in CHicago for the purpose of celebrating my DD graduation, and it really was oka. My DD Dad and his wife had never been to visit her in the five years she has been gone.
Marta I did get some great photos. and they are posted in big full view on my Facebook,, Ha , I am into the Facebook scene, It keeps me in touch with my kids and other long lost folks and friends that I otherwise would not have the chance to . If anyone is interested and wants to connect with me on Facebook, PM me here and I will give ya the e mail address,
One thing is that in Chicago, they had decorated Michigan Ave with thousands of tulips and they were in full bloom, so I did get some good pics of that.
Okay I need to go be a nurse now, Take care, Linda
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Finally, we have the sun back |
05-08-2009 - 06:44 AM |
Have had nearly 6 days of solid rain. The James River which my town is surrounding, is very high. Everyone's grass looks like a mini meadow!. So I am happy to see the glorious sun , again.
Its been a good year thus far. Family pretty healthy, my mother has been stable and has a new care giver for the alternate weekends that I used to cover. My Dh and I have been on a joint venture of gym time combined with new way of eating, I sure dont wanna call it a diet, DIETS do not work.
Basically its a modified low carb plan, in essence we totally eliminated all white flour, all pasta all rice and all processed foods, and have cut the coffee in half by mixing the blend with decaf. Plus I have not had a diet soda in 4 weeks, We drink water, and flavored waters. I like lemon juice and plain water and green tea with lemon.
I have realized one of our dreams is coming to fruition, and pretty soon, as we just signed a contract on a second home , we purchased a condo on the waterfront at Smith Mountain Lake, which is a gorgeous deep mountain lake here in the luscious valleys of Southwestern Va. As a child , my grandmother took us to the Smith Mountain Lake Park..
Surely you have seen Dirty Dancing? Story goes it was partly filmed there!
We plan to rent the condo weekly this summer, as it is turn key ready, and can either be part of the rental program, or we can do it ourselves.
I have not even told my own kids. I figured we should wait til we close! I am so happy and blessed, for sure. My DH and I have had a dream of being waterfront ever since we bought the first boat, in 1999!
I am going to visit my dd in Chicago next week to celebrate her Nursing School graduation . We will do some touristy things, Cannot wait, Always a fun city to be in. Hope its warm.
I have been awol from here again and just wont even make lame apologies. I figure as long as I keep poppin in, I wont be forgotten.
Oh Good Lord The "New Kids On The Block" are on the Today show right now, lol, what are they 40 year old kids??
Okay my friends. how have you been?? Linda
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SAT MORNING |
03-20-2009 - 11:21 PM |
Hey buds, checking in from work, here, I am in a downtime mode for a bit, My patients are asleep and we have empty beds . Awaiting an emergency room admission , once the E.D. calls report. It seems to take forever, so I decided to go lurk at Hystersisters and catch up. Miss me??
Well, lets see whats been going on for me??
The job change never came to fruition, I did have the interview and was approved and all that good stuff, but they were looking for a full time position, and that isnt what I wanted. My full time days are done.. I get more of a benefit by having an extra couple days off. I make decent salary and workin 24 hrs a week is perfect for me. Now if I could just stop the night shifts.lol
DH is doing phenomenally well post total knee replacement. He has only one regret and that is that he did not do it sooner! I have to admit, he is doin better with goin to the gym than I. I have been in a slug bug mode, as far as exercising. Maybe with the warmer weather approaching , I will get the motivation thing going again...
My next trip is to visit my daughter in Chicago. her second college graduation is in May. DH and I will spend 4 days there and do some touristy stuff. DD has been in Chicago for 5 yrs now, and I have only been by myself , So Dh will go and we will make it a fun trip. Hope to see the Millenium Park and the Navy Pier. and that sort of thing. Usually my trips to Chicago encompass tons of walking , eating and eating and museums and eating.. The food is great!!
I saw That Bodyworks show last time and nothing has come close since!! if you get the chance to see that do..
I need to log off soon, so I will continue. more in a bit.. Linda
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Hey budddzz |
02-07-2009 - 01:04 AM |
I have to make a corrrection, last post I said it was my hysterversary. well it was the day after. Gee whizikers I was off by one day, anyway, it was Jan 26, 2006.
I only have one regret, the thing called swelly belly turned into bigger belly. Wonder if I get to still blame the gut on my hysterectomy after 3 years?
Well I am at work, thats why its almost 3 am. A slow night thus far. Its only me and one other nurse, We just finished calling security to walk around outside and help round up one of the patients that decided o remove his telemetry (heart monitor) cable and go outside for a smoke. Now keep in mind it is 30 degrees and he is a pre op open heart surgery candidate, and should not even be smoking, but sadly some folks just do not get it,. He had been told he could not leave the floor, but the nicotine fit took over his compliance and off he went. Just amazes me, No , maybe not , People are funny,
I am happy to say my Dh has progressed well with his Physical therapy and post op healing after the total knee surgery, and so he gets to return to work on Sunday, And I get to resume my sanity! I mean how much tv can one person watch???
I have become interested in possibly doing some home health visits for the agency that sent the nurses and therapists to see him the past two weeks,
I actually applied and had an interview Monday. So we shall see, I guess its possble to teach this old dog some new tricks, he he
I need to run and check someone, be back
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Three years |
01-27-2009 - 01:41 AM |
Its my three year Hyster anniversary , and I cannot believe it has gone by so fast!
I have certainly gotten my money's worth out of this blog.
DH is at home for two more weeks post Knee replacement surgery (Jan 13th).
We have a physical therapist coming three times a week and a nurse for lab draws. I removed his staples (all 38 of them) after he developed a slight irritated spot, and DR said go ahead, You would have thought I was killin him..
I need to scoot. I love ya all Linda
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Ode to a Krispy Kreme Donut |
01-08-2009 - 10:07 PM |
Um, yummy , a glazed donut, you want some sprinkles with that? Or chocolate? Hot chocolate and here is the coffee, bye, now I keepin the change SUCKER!!!
No I have not lost my mind.. Melanie tell them its true story.
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NO News is not good news!! |
01-08-2009 - 10:20 AM |
Say, ya know what, News(Patty) where are you????/
I rarely see a day of journalin without you! I am
off today, going to grocery shop . and stock up for the meals to make DH next week. He will likely spend 3 nites in hospital, then he is my own!!
I am feeling great today, Nice good upbeat sort of mood.
I want more votes on whether to stay blonde or go au naturel ..
Your opinions are important to this sister!!
TTYL!!! Linda
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Cold boring drizzly arse day |
01-07-2009 - 02:56 PM |
But sometimes you need a day like that, to get things done. Today I put on sweats and pulled 6 bins of old clothes down from my attic. I went thru those and out of 6 large tubs only 5 articles of clothing would I realistically wear! So the remainder get put out for the Goodwill truck. I used to always sort my summer from winter clothes and thus gave my closet more room, You know keep the sweaters apart from the capris and tank tops, that kind of thing, when it occurred to me, Hey! ME I am not even returning to use the clothes ever again, after putting them away.
It feels good to purge a home of collectively called stuff!! Why on God"s earth does one need so much daggone stuff???
I am considering something new this year , so need an opinion. I have been highlighting my hair for almost 20 years, YES she said twenty!! I was a blonde child that turned dishwater dirty blonde to downright mousy brown!!
Well , my neice came down from Illinois for Christmas and had colored her hair brown, and then my sister (the neices mom) did it, and then yesterday I got a text picture of my DD ( Chicago) that also went back to brown!!! So, I am thinkin oh heck if they can do it so can I !! So its only hair whats the deal? If I hate it , I go back.
I am preparing for a week of being a good coach for DH(after the knee replacement surgery) and Noni , I absolutely am makin the lentil soup recipe you sent!! Sounds perfect-o,, I love ya all/ Linda
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Sleep Cycle a Mess |
01-04-2009 - 04:38 PM |
When the patient census drops and there are more nurses on a shift than needed, one gets sent home. I had to leave work at 4 am, and that was the worst time . I drove straight home, sat up a while on the computer, had a bowl of Raisin bran, went to sleep at 6 am. Awoke at 1030 am. Keep in mind I have to be back at work tonight at midnite. So I am heading to my nap cave, as I call it to attempt a power nap.
I stayed in all day and DH and I had pancakes and bacon for brunch. He is at work now and the house is silent. But its fine.
Wow, Marta, the message from Mei!! Of course I do remember her. She was a die hard blogger and a tough lady then just poof!! she vanished one day. I did actually get one e mail from her , and she said she was okay but had gotten fed up with some of the politics or something here??
I liked Mei, She was from such a totally far away place yet , spoke and wrote English well. I always tried to cheer her along with the hope that her children would not always be such a challenge. Wish she could come back . There are so many that fell by the wayside, as we say around here. remember Moni from Md and her saga with Bey? She had such a hard time getting over losin her folks. Wonder how she is ??
I am anxious to see some lentil recipes , girls , Hey Noni how about it?? Love ya .
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A New Year, NO resolutions |
01-03-2009 - 10:38 AM |
Well, because frankly, its a joke, to keep makin those resolves year after year and see them go astray!
Today , am staying inside and doing mundane stuff one has to do, ya know like laundry, and dusting furniture?? Not exactly fun, just have to do !
We took in two movies over the holidays, which is alot for us, We used to go see movies regularly and , then DH got Netflix, He has a pretty large collection, He makes a single copy then returns the movie and says its perfectly legal unless he sells them.
So while DD was home , she and I saw Marley and Me, Man, what a tear jerker a go go. I had NO idea, I had not read the book. I was expecting a comedy. and sure it had some cute giggles, but the ending . Thats all I will say about it. It was overall a good movie.
But yesterday my DH and I had a date Movie with popcorn with the fake butter and all, followed by dinner and drinks. We saw Benjamin Button and I loved that one! I laughed and cried throughout. It was nearly 3 hrs long but flies by, and I adore Cate Blanchett. She has the most lovely porcelain skin. Brad Pitt was amazing and the story a delight. (NEWS, I remember you saying you saw this one!)
I am working a 12 hr shift tonight and again tomorrow,
Then on the 13th , DH has to be in the hospital for three days for his Total Knee Replacement. He has been prolonging and putting this off for almost 10 years!! He has literally bone against bone. He will be unable to drive for about 2 -3 weeks I believe. I have been pushin him to do his leg exercises now to strengthen his muscles and thats a joke. But we shall see how it goes post op!!
I made a pot of soup using left over ham and lots of navy beans and some grated carrots and onions. So nice on these cold wintry nights. I want to get a recipe for a lentil soup with andouille sausage like what they serve at Carraba's. Anyone have something like that to share? Dh loves lentil soup, I have not tried to make it.
Hope every one of you have A wonderful New Year>
News , am sorry to hear of your uncle's passing. Linda
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Hi buddies |
12-26-2008 - 02:22 AM |
greetings from work. I am back at work, vacation and cruise and party all done!
My daughter is home from Chicago. Of course she and I were just together for the previous week on the cruise.
We had a really nice time. Lots of sunshine and lots of fun,
KInd of thought Dtr may get engaged, not. But they are talking about it in spring when she graduates from school.
Noni O, Happy belated birthday!!
By the way thank you to you all that remembered mine. I had a nice dinner on board the ship that night, Well hope everyone had a good Christmas, and I gotta run . Love Linda
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Bittersweet Day |
12-06-2008 - 07:46 PM |
I started my day by meeting Melanie, (hystersister Puggie) here. She took me out for breakfast to the sweetest little southern tea room style cafe. It is sort of an old country store/ bakery/tearoom combo. Originally we were to make it lunch, but due to the memorial service of a dear family friendat 1pm, we made it breakfast, This was from Melanie for my birthday (early) as I leave for my trip in a week.
I had divine hot homemade bluberry pancakes, and bacon, and a side of baked apples. Each of us had our own little porcelain teapot . I chose Earl Grey tea which has a lovely scent of bergamot. Mel had the peach tea, We ate like little piggies, followed by shopping about the store. She bought me a cake of hand made milled soap scented of pomegranate. A sweet birthday breakfast for sure. Thanks again Melanie!!
The memorial service was so touching and so tear evoking even though it was called a celebration of her life. The lady that died was lifelong friends of both of my parents. Her husband and my Daddy went To the same high school and college together. Their children grew up with my two sisters and I at the same church. These were the kind of people that everyone adored, Looked up to, Real givers. Volunteers and sunday school teachers for decades, as well as faithful devoted visitors to my father in his last year of life. They were in fact at my mothers home and I was there Nov 13 just the day before she had the stroke. She looked great and had bought homemade apple butter to my mother. She was like that. Always giving something
Her grandkids and her children and her inlaws all stood up and spoke such nice things of her . Afterwards there was a large reception in the fellowship hall, with a ton of foods all made from the church ladies. Homemade pies, cakes, ham biscuits, potato salads, fruit salads, veggies, and dips, and teas and coffees. I had a slice of coconut pie and coffee and spoke to each of the family, and then went to decorate my mothers house for Christmas. I got everything done except to put a tree up. I may have to wait till right before I leave.
I had a good day, overall. I am home now just DH and the kitties and me, A fire in the fireplace and watching an old movie (Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid) Oh and it is SNOWING here right now. It is not sticking, but looks pretty coming down !!
News , I just read your entry about J, and I am worried for her, now. Keep us posted.
G nite all, Linda
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Sunday |
11-30-2008 - 08:09 AM |
I slept like a baby last night, Took two advil and ate a nice plate of left over turkey and stuff. This morning my mother calls and is alot worse, she had the same cold symptoms as I yesterday , but sounds very congested. I did get a caregiver, thankfully, but the lady that came had to bring her twin boys(10). So hopefully they will be quiet and self contained in the florida room, which is off to the side of the main area my mother stays in. They will have to watch tv all day , as it is raining and cold outside.
I may even just pay the lady for a full day and get her to leave when I go over. I am making a pot of bean soup with ham to take.
Thanks for your good insights and comments yesterday (News and Marta) I hope I wasnt sounding too whinnnnnnny. But I am offf the pity pot today. I am going to try a simple thing, Live only in the moment. Nothing else, nothing more. I do sometimes dredge up the past and try to visit "Old Man Used to Be"
My prayer is for me to know what my purpose is and live it daily..
Have a good Sunday ladies, and Marta I am awaiting those kitty pics!! Linda
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Got dem holiday blues.. |
11-29-2008 - 11:26 AM |
Just due to life events , and the changes that can occur over a few years , changes the face of the holiday, so much for me. Just a few years back , Thanksgiving was a huge day in our family, and a big group. There was about 20 of us , and between my two sisters we took turns as to whose home we held the meal.
The year 2004 started the dwindle. (In 04 )we lost our wonderful Aunt Katherine, she was my Daddys sister , never married, lived her entire life in the same home etc etc. A young spirit, loved romance novels and tv shows like Friends. Kind of goofy, like once she thought potpourri I had in a dish at Christmas was a candy ( it was peppermint flavor) and she tried to put it in her mouth,
That year (2004) my younger sister (Joy) moved to Illinois for her Dh's job. That took four of our family members far apart. Same year, my oldest child , my DD moved to Chicago, and remains there, now thats 6 folks gone. The next year (05) we lost my big sister, Gail, and then her husband, Thats 8 gone. Then of course in 2007 my heart broke completely when Daddy went to be with the angels.Thats 9 gone.
My niece stayed in Blacksburg afte getting married and that took 2 more away. So......
My thanksgiving day was here at my house with just my mother, ( I brought her here for the day) and my Dh, and his son and wife and two kids came up from NC. I cooked and we feasted and cleaned up and I drove my mother home and we all watched a movie (video) Journey to the center of the earth. Company left on Fri morning,
I went in to work last pm at 7 to work a 12 hr night shift and had to come home at midnight , Was aching all over and had a sore throat. I drove home and crawled in the bedroom, (guest room ) so as not to wake DH, I slept till 10 am and when I got up, DH had no idea I had come in and was sick!
He just left to go to the gym and I am waiting for him to come back, and have some of his chicken noodle/ egg drop soup.
Avoiding shopping at all costs till mid week. May have to take care of my mother tomorrow , if I dont find a caregiver. I am now counting the days for the trip Dec 12 -20th. Christmas will be probably thrown together in a pinch, as there is so little time when we return, but I will worry about that later, if I allow myself to worry at all. Frankly why worry??
So....... Hope everyone of you have a wonderful weekend and holiday. Stay warm. Linda
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Nov 23rd, 3 A.M. at hospital |
11-23-2008 - 01:03 AM |
All of the patients on the unit are stable and asleep and we have some downtime before next assessments, and meds, and I have been online reading some of the past few days of of your journal entries. Mostly Patty, Annette, Marta and Diverchick's, sorry your real name escapes me! Lylas means Love you like a sister?
Patty your note re. the letter from your sister touched me. I believe that our loved ones that have passed have little ways they stay in touch, almost like a little visit. I am doubtful that it was a coincedence of the date on that letter . I often find myself having out loud conversations with my sister, esp when I am in the bathtub. Like if something is bothering me, I aske her what she would do or what she thinks.
Annette, 50 lbs off, WOW I say You go Girl!! Thats a huge accomplishment. Also wanted to say how cool is this, we both have December birthdays and anniversaries!
Marta, I think you should write your mother a long letter detailing how much she criticizes you and how much you want it to end, and how it makes you feel, and then even if you never give the letter to her, it may have helped in some way to let it all out.
I do need to scoot off here, Hey you all have a great Thanksgiving! Love ya Linda
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November 13 2008 |
11-12-2008 - 09:42 PM |
Looks like its gonna be a monthly journal. I am really tired tonight, Some reason, I wake up entirely too early. 5:40 this am.
Since the election, I am suffering some sort of post election blues. It was the most exciting days of my life but now i need something fresh to simulate me.
I worked my arse off on the campaign. Volunteered many hrs of time daily and canvassed on foot the day before the election.I had to work all night on the 3rd, so we voted a week early .Then on election day I got home at 830 am and slept till noon, and because I was on call on Nov 4th, I got to watch the election returns at home. I was ecstatic
with the result. My state is now BLUE. This is the first time in 44 years, folks thats pretty significant..
I hope America can get back on track and be great,again.
Enough on politics, thats a sensitive subject..
I am going on a Caribbean cruise for a week , in a month. My DD and her beau will meet DH and I in Miami, and we sail to San Juan, St Thomas and St Martinique.
DD will have her final semester class in Chicago the day before. Her boyfriend is sitting for his state boards in Orthotic Medicine that week, so everyone will be well deserving. I cannot wait!! I am so ready to chill out, get renewed inside and out.
My mother is doing well and hope she maintains till next month.
Gotten into Facebook since July, its addicting. I have been on MySpace for two yrs and sort of just started blogging with my kids, and it just escalated.. Turns out , there is a lot of fun in side, and all ages of people are there. I have met up with several long lost friends! PM me if you wanna join.
Its not a bad thing, unless you make it..
Went out to see my girlfriend this pm, she is recovering at home from hip surgery. and has not been allowed to drive for a month. I would go nutz!!!
Did you all see the intro here for a poll to see how many of us would attend a HS gathering. Now you are talking!!
I think Virginia is the center of the east coast, cmon down ya'll !!
Hey a question, can cats be bipolar?? lol..
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My little frog story |
10-15-2008 - 03:56 PM |
Had to share this.. Yesterday, I was taking some plants out of the trunk of my car , after buying some mums for the butterfly garden, as I lifted the last mum out a little spotted frog jumped from the potted mum and into the trunk..
I was startled, then quickly turned to try to find it, when it crawled under the back seat from the trunk.
I ran in and got DH, he was just startin a shower before work. I knew I did not want to have this frog spend his final days in the hot car and surely die!!,
I knew then , okay its up to me, I have to get him out!!
I pushed the seats back from the rear, and there he was , just sittin there, ready to jump, I started to reach for him, when I sort of froze, mid reach. I dont know I just got all squeamish and couldnt pick it up!! I ran inside, got my gardening gloves on, ran back, .. AND
little frog was nowhere to be seen. I backed up and stood and waited. After a few minutes he came back out , so i figured okay, be still dont grab him, just wait and LO and Behold , he hopped out and scrambled over to the mulch bed beside my front porch steps. I was relieved and relaxed and proceeded to finish my afternoon , which was at that point to dress and drive to the hospital to visit my girlfriend that had surgery yesterday am,
so I thought nothing more of this , till........today
So this am DH and I both had stuff we wanted to do outside in the yard, just kind of enjoying this wonderful late summer weather we have had. It has been 82 degrees and higher the past three days !!
DH was bagging grass with the riding mower in the front, I was in my flower garden in the back, I walked around to get the potted mums that I had sat on the front steps yesterday , and then began the prepping of the beds and the digging a nice comfy spot to plant. I cannot explain how much I love love love to be in the sunshine, on my knees with my hands in the soil, gettin the yard all spruced up. It is my therapy, for sure.
As I raised up the first pot to remove the mum before its transplant, guess what popped out of the pot!!!!????
Yes , there he was again, Mr Frog, I couldnt believe it, guess he just had been hangin out in that pot from which he came.. So this time I just let him go where he wanted as I continued to plant the flowers. I called him Freddie the
frog, then changed it to Freddie Mac. So there ya go, I have a new friend in my yard named Freddie Mac and thats the end of my frog story....
By the way.... how is everyone?????? Linda
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Friday, Sept 5, 2008 |
09-05-2008 - 04:55 AM |
For some reason, I was awake at 5 am. I had coffee outside, in the pre sunrise, on the patio.
Now is a good time to catch up, here.
Re. last post.
Marta: Thanks for thinking of me with the butterfly release. I should have one of my own, soon.
Annette: Yes, my Y has an indoor and outdoor pool. Also Zumba, and I really want to try that! I have done some water exercises, and will do more in the winter.
Melanie: Tennis??? Go girl!! I have zero talent in that dept!
Patty: Got the fritatta recipe. So easy and can be mofified a bazillion ways. Thanks for sharing.
Well, it was this date 3 yrs ago today my Daddy was diagnosed with the tumor, A sacral chordoma, to be exact.
And on Sept 9th, just 4 days later. I lost my older sister. Followed by losing her husband 11 days after that. This was the week of sheer and utter devastation. I dont even want to go there, so much. I can say , that time does help heal, that I know! I still have the blogs on file and have gone back and re read and can feel in my words, I have healed so much.. Life has gone on, and will.
We are preparing for a weekend of heavy rains due to Hanna, the latest storm to come by our coast!
I was going to try to see a football game and cheering tomorrow with Dh's grandkids but likely will be canceled.
I have no caregiver this weekend for my mother. So , like always, I will need to step up/ The part I hate is , for some reason she has been incontinent in the bed , at night. I have her on Detrol and have been giving it to her at bedtime. Her primary caregiver bought some pull up type briefs. What else can we do???? Thankfully she is totally continent during the day.
Gonna go on a bike ride when Dh gets up, before the rains start. Then I work this evening till midnight.. Early up Sat am to be at my mothers for her breakfast, etc..
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
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My updates and realizations |
08-12-2008 - 02:10 PM |
First, I gotta say, after going back and re reading many blogs and replies from you all, I do realize that the name Hyster Sisters is so apt and so tru. I have dozens of wonderful sisters in you all. I know you care about me and it means so much. I will continue to wish for a chance meeting , Lets not give up that idea.
Now, my updates. Mainly I want to say we are doing fine. Pretty normal routine for the most part.
Went to an appointment (GI specialist)with DH to follow up the diverticulitis attack. Dr made us feel better about it. It apparently is pretty common in people older than 40.. We went ahead and scheduled the colonoscopy for a date in Nov, which is actually about 3 months earlier than his 5 year due date of Jan 09, because the Dr said you need to rest and heal the gut , so to speak before putting it thru the prep, and then the scope, itself.. DH finished his 10 day course of antibiotics yesterday, and now we wait and proceed with usual diet, just higher in fiber and NO nuts seeds or popcorn, etc.
I am still babysitting my great nephew, Hayden who has just turned one.. What fun .. I work 24 hrs a week, and so I always have a couple of days free when I can keep him at my house. He is crawling all over now and discoverd my alpha male cat- Pokie!! I have a cute picture of him with this cat at the kitchen doorway were the cat says let me outta here, I will try to post that.
I am on a YMCA kick for my exercise.. Into the circuit wts and the recumbant bike. Feel like I am in a rut and should and need to change the routine up. I miss swimming.
The other day I did my 15 mile bike ride in front of the gyms tv while watching the girls play beach volleyball at the Summer Olympics.. WOW The skimpy little bikini bottoms they are in this season.. But , those bodies were an inspiration to me, and made me pedal harder and faster
Its absolutely gorgeous here today. In the 80's and slighty breezy. I worked all night and slept from 9 am till 2pm today. DH has gone to work, (he works in the evenings at the telephone co.) So I am sipping hot coffee and doing some laundry, , in a minute I am gonna go make some Vitamin D. (soak up 15 min of sunshine) Then fix a omelette and fresh tomato salad, before heading back to work. Thats it , pretty normal day. Thank you for the support and tips while my man was down. I believe he is fine now
Have a good week, sisters,, Love ya Linda
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August 1st, ITS always something!! |
08-01-2008 - 07:45 PM |
I wanted to say first, those that checked on me via email and PM, you know who you are, thanks kindly, again.
Also Marta yes I did wear sunscreen, and a hat, that day I just walked too far and fast with no water and over did.
My breast appears normal for now, towards the end of the week the spot that caused me so much fear and panic, just sort of went away! I am being cautious and will go see my Dr , if it returns. I feel foolish now for reacting that way.
But last night my DH became my concern. I worked a night shift and he gets off work at 11pm, so we basically were passing in the night, as I drove to and he from work, He called me and was telling me he had been having bad abdominal pains all pm, Then he had developed chills and a fever.. Since he has been dealing with intermittent abd pains for over a week, I told him to drive to the ER where I work(same hospital),
He did, and I met him there as I went inside to go to work. They had him in waiting for 2 hrs and then took him back at 2:30 am, Did a CT scan of the abd and pelvis and drew labworks,, Found he has a flare up of diverticulitis, which is an inflammation of diverticuli that are tiny pouches that line the intestinal walls, They can get inflammed and tender when particles such as seeds or nuts are trapped. You can apparently get very ill if it is not treated early and allowed to hemorrage or rupture, which would require surgery and even possibly an ostomy, which nobody wants that!!
It is treated with antibiotics and avoiding fiber till the flare up settles , then by adding fiber, if that makes sense. I knew little about this condition and I was worried he had a mass or a blockage in his colon!! I think he will be fine, I called his GI Dr today and he will see him in a week to see if he needs a colonoscopy. He had one 4 yrs ago and is due in Jan 09 anyway so thats the plan.While he was lying ther on the stretcher and i sat looking at him form a chair, I became so sad and it brought back all those memories of the hours and hours I sat beside Daddy as he went thru various ER admissions. I even told my DH, that I dodnt like this and I cant do this with hi, and he better get well. because if I lost him , I would jsut well, I dont even know. but I hated even thinking like that,,
Today he has been lying around and only eating liquids . I am gonna be his little nursie all day and Sun I suppose. He is a big guy and healthy and strikes me as pitiful to see him down!! Hope this finds everyone doing well! Linda
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Wed |
07-23-2008 - 06:52 AM |
Hi buddies. I must say it has been an amazing week here, so far. The weather forecast has been way off. We are still
on the Carolina Coast in the Outer Banks. Yesterday, I made the mistake of taking my walk too late in the morning. It was 98 degrees by 10 am. I hoofed at a fast clip, not on the beach , rather on the sidewalk at the street edge. I walked 3 miles, was soaked and felt overheated and my heart racy. I am thinkin okay now I have to turn around and go back :wow:
I then thought hmmmmm, I do have my cell phone!! So I called DH who was back at the beach house. So I wimped out and got a car ride back... He he ..
Well its morning and for the first day while here, it is overcast and foggy. I plan to stay out of the sun for a day anyway, so..... Its all good.
I can still see that darn spot on my breast, I have tried to not worry at all, and I plan to pursue a Dr opinion as soon as possible, just not till I am In Richmond.
I have been eating entirely too much and too well, That was why I decided to just power walk daily. Today I am on the laptop and do not give a rats patootie. I will tomorrow.. After all, tomorrow is another day! Have a good week. Linda
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Sunday greetings from the Outer Banks |
07-20-2008 - 02:35 PM |
Hi I have a few things to say, re. my post yesterday, first, I do thank you all so deeply and sincerely for the wonderful replies, I feel loved and sustained with your reassurance. I appreciate each of you more than you know.
Second, I will say I feel it looks better today. Still red and inflammed but just a little smaller, perhaps?
This is kind of funny, I went back and re-read the entry from yesterday and I was so panicked I even made myself older! I said I was 52,, so today I actually changed it to 51..
I am feeling much better thanI was yesterday .. I have bigger fish to fry, as they say here in the south...
Ya may have heard if you are into the weather) about a tropical storm hitting the east coast , named Cristobal It is now about an hour from Hatteras Island, which is an hr south of where I am.
So we got up this am, had coffee and bagels, and walked on the beach, followed by spending the afternoon in the house pool and the sun. Tonight we will buy fresh shrimp and scallops at the seafood store and pig out.
I have chosen to accept only happy thoughts and positive ones(thanks Patty) I believe I am going to be okay. love ya!
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Okay I am freaking out I am serious |
07-19-2008 - 05:14 PM |
I was trying on clothes to take to the beach trip,(I am now on the beach trip),, anyway, I looked up in the mirror as I tried on a halter type sundress, I noticed an unusual looking red almost hot area on my right breast adjacent to my areola, .WHOAH, I said to myself, whatinthesamhellisthat?? I looked closer, it is not a bug bite, nor a rash nor an ingrown hair sort of look, rather it is as if one put a lighter to the skin and blistered it bright pink, It is not tender but feels near hot, as in an infection,. It is about 2 inches wide and across, LORD what the heck???
I googled Inflammatory Breast Cancer, and it looks like some of the very graphic pictures. so by now I am panicked, This was at 4 on a fRi pm the eve before my beach week with other folks, my step dtr and hubby and grandkids, I did try to call my GYN dr, and , of course got a recording saying we are closed till Mon. Naturally, and also I am in the Outer Banks of NC, not exactly the premo medical center of the world,
I have only told my DH.
, I actually showed him, and then this am before we hit the road, I showed him again and asked to tell the truth , was it the same or better or worse, he said the same.
Why am I so worried? I just sort of wish I had not even seen the thing till I got back, I went to the internet and I learned that Inflammatory Breast Cancer is most common in women 45-55 , I am 51. It says the red splotch comes on usually suddenly, mine did. It also says it is an aggresive
form of cancer and the 5 yr survival rate is 40%, I just wish I had waited, because it probably isnt anything, so there ya go, Since I am with folks I do not want to talk to about this, I came here because, even if I can just vent , then thats what I am doing, Guess I just need to chill out and be patient and stop thinkin the worst..Okay? Okay. Thanks Linda
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Sunshine come back |
07-10-2008 - 09:50 PM |
Man we have had the rain , huh?? Tomorrow is supposed to be sunny and warm and lovely. We are taking two of the GKs on a boating day. We plan to pack a lunch and drive to the NC/Va border to Lake Gaston, Bought a new tube to pull the kiddies on, I intend to enjoy myself a lot..I have only been on the boat once this summer, and that was the end of May. My DH has done a good bit of solo fishing. I wish we could see some of those vivid orange and white carp like News saw in the dream!!
My mother is finally turning the corner on the depression monster.. She shows it in her voice . I can always tell when it begins to lift by her voice. YAH!!!!!!!!
I am preparing her for the fact that we leave next Sat for a week at the beach(Outer Banks) and historically she tends to act out when I am away.. My niece said I should just not tell her!
I am off to get into some dream time (I hope) Tomorrow is an early day and then I work a night shift after the boating
Take care, my budz. and havea great weekend...
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Wish there was more fun stuff to say |
07-05-2008 - 05:19 PM |
I promise I will look for the good stuff and soon. My mother has stepped up to the front center of my life stage.
Now going on two weeks ,she is in a blue blue funk.. She is slipping "deeper into despair" as she calls it.. I am at a loss as what to say to her or much less do for her, she will not allow me to take her to the Psychiatrist, or to even talk for fear of having more medicine added. She is taking a total of 9 different meds daily, half of those are psychotropic in nature. I agree with that part, She is 76 years old and showing signs of dementia and alzheimers rapidly, so I ceratinly do not believe a pill of any sort would benefit her.
Thing is, I know her and her patterns and I know she has these episodes as part of her mental illness. She is bipolar and that never really ends , You just learn to control the manic episodes and balance the swings. But when she gets down, I mean we are talking deep down there.. Wears me out . The look of total emptiness and sadness is so hard to bear when I go see her. I feel guilty at times . like today I am off, I worked yesterday (4th of July) and DH is at work this weekend, I could be with her but I have someone there and I just basically am here alone , reading, sitting outside in the garden. paying online bills, just stuff like that.
I get put out lately that she does not get more company.. She sits and she stares if she is not watching the religious network all day, thats pretty much it. Her primary caregiver is so good with her but should be a bit more assertive. Today was a bit better, as she at least allowed her to put her clothes on rather than stay in her nightgown, maybe my mother has a broken heart, she has not been the same since Daddy died. (2007) So I just keep watching and sort of stand by , for me thats just about all I can do anyway.
I myself should have worked out today, I talked myself out of that.. Its been damp, rainy and uck all weekend , Some of the big fireworks shows here were bagged,
I just had a fat juicy hanover tomato sandwhich , and it tasted like another. In case you have not experienced a hanover tomato, let me tell ya IT rocks. Hanover is a county next to where I am here in Va. with a sandy sort of soil known for yielding big old fat red juicy tomatoes that many eat like an apple, It is a fruit you know? Do a google for Hanover Tomato festival, and you will see It is an annual event held here each summer and I actually think it took place today! I have never been, but I did find two hanover tomatoes at the Farmers market yesterday .. Let me know if anyone has heard of these outside of Melanie, silly I know you have.
I am going to go journal hoppin now and try to reply to some, and I do read many of them and sorry I cannot answer all.. Have a wonderful Independance Day weekend ladies!!!!!! Linda
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Saturday |
06-28-2008 - 06:20 PM |
Went down to the oceanfront for two nights. Just me n Dh, Didnt take the boat. Just drove in my car and got a little motel on the beach. Dinner out at our fav spots. I had my mothers' usual caregivers present, only thing was she goes to sleep at 7pm On Fri night wakes up at 9pm and thought it was Sat am. and freaked out because her caregiver was NOT there!( They come at 8am and leave by 530 pm.) So she totally forgets that I can be reached on the cellphone and she proceeds to leave 5 frantic messages on the house phone , which I retrieved by cell this am, as I am drivin home from the beach. She did get ahold of the lady that was with her today and she told her , It is FRi , I will be there tomorrow. Does any of this make sense? Its okay if not I am kind of venting.
My mother wears my soul out , So when we got back into town I told DH to go ahead to the Pigroast party for one of his nephews graduation and making it inot the Citadel celebration. He went to that, I went to hang out at my mothers. She is just getting so forgetful and is depressed.. So I may need to just get some of the meds changed. Its sad to see her like that. I am leaving in am for an overnite trip to visit my neice in Blacksburg . and then I work 12 hour nighshift Tues, so I will be awol awhile.
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So how is every little thing,hmmmm? |
06-24-2008 - 10:14 PM |
For me, glad its summer. Love sunny days and moonlit nights , My meditation garden has come almost fully evolved. Been a labor of love ,and contentment is how I feel when there.
Watching my mother gradually lose more and more of her self. Her mind seems to be slipping. I find myself growin less eager to correct her or to say, Oh yes mother you already said that. But now I smile at her .
She called my home this evening at 715 pm to say , simply, I am very tired. I am going to bed early so dont try to call me. This was on the answering machine. Funny she always stays up late.. I will be over there tomorrow to fill her weekly medicines so I can see how she looks then.
My self I had a mammogram on Fri the 13th. Imagine.. But its fine I am not a superstitious type. No I just believe in souls of loved ones fluttering around as a butterfly. I have for years. Where did that come from??? But , oh yes the mammo . I got the letter today. NORMAL... I am blessed , I am grateful. Really.
Missing my sister alot lately. Long for good long girl talks when we are in the tubs at night. God what I would give...
I cherish you. I do. I know you know who you are. my friends.. Be content with yourselves, Night all.
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I am on a work frenzy |
05-24-2008 - 09:19 PM |
I took off all week last week to spend time with my sister, She flew down from Illinois and so now she is gone and I am
working my second of 2 twelve hr night shifts. I left here (the hospital) at 8 am this morning and slept only 4 hrs from 9 till 1 pm, and returned tonight for another 12 hrs , I am scared my steam is running low. I just brewed a pot of hazelnut coffee and one of my patients gave us three doz Krispy Kreme donuts, so between the sugar and coffee buzz I will be great..
I am only working with one other nurse. We have 8 patients and could have 12 but we will need another nurse if we admit 4 more.. so lets hope nobody has any heart attacks ,,
I am going to spend the day on memorial Day on the lake with DH. he took our boat out the past two days to fish and relax, I had to work so it is supposed to be 85 degrees and sunny Monday. We will pack a picnic and drive to a lake near the NC/Va border. (Gaston) and go boating.. I bought a cute bathing suit.. Its chocolate brown and has bright key lime and yellow flowers across the top part
I am so so so looking forward to that. My DD's birthday is tomorrow, and since she lives in Chicago, a phone call will have to do. I always call her on the exact moment of her birth time So 7 :26 pm it is...
Hope all of you , my dear ladies have a wonder ful holiday and be safe if driving and wear sunscreen!! Linda
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You all rock!!!!!! |
05-21-2008 - 03:07 PM |
Annette, Melanie, Patty and Mary Ann, here is a huge
Today is so much better, I did do all the things I know to do and I took advice from all of you. I reap big benefits when I work out and today I had a good workout at the Y.. I rode the bike for 12 miles and then the circuit weights..
Nobody knows this but now you can know so dont tell anyone, except any random millions of eyes that visit this site, BUT,, wait a minute Melanie I think you know this , that I have a little man crush. ITs harmless really, but whatthehell if thats what gets me engine fired, then so be it, This guy is sooooo hot , I am just saying he is a doll . He is always at the Y the same times I go (around noonish) He is probably early 40's maybe even a late 30's He is dark tall and hot hot hot.. He doesn't have a clue I admire him and I stare and I get a kick out of him not having a clue, cuz I am not interested in any thing other than lookin, hey nothing wrong with enjoying the view??? Heck no,
I am a happily married woman of 51 years old and its NOt like that Its just I felt I would tell, he he,
Melanie , you dont get to say a bleepin word cuz everyone here knows you have a man crush on Dr Hunka Hunka, but the difference is ..... you get to take off your undies for him !!!! Ha ha , (teasin) so...
thanks ya'll for your love yesterday and today I mean it.. You do all rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Time heals all wounds |
05-20-2008 - 08:56 PM |
So, anyway , first thanks to you all sweeties that sent well wishes with my last post.. I just had to wait for the right moment to tell DD about her beloved cat.. BUT, it came in a odd way, She sent two mothers day cards, and that Sat nite I looked at the two cards and I thought, OH no!! She has never sent me 2 cards before, I wonder .. Is one "from the cat" .
So on Mothers Day, I opened the cards and sure enough the first one was written as if from a cat, and it had her own writing inside where she wrote." Thanks for takin me in and loving me, PS rub my tummy more" Gulp... I about died, So I knew then okay I have to call and tell her, but the I thought OH wait, NO!! I cannot do this today on Mothers Day and forever more it will be a memory on Mothers Day so thankfully she was working that evening ( she is a part time waitress) and in Nursing School
So, The day after that I called and told her only that the cat ran away and has not come home. I felt there was no reason ever to cause the grief she would feel knowing the rest of the story.. She was okay, She kept saying, Mom its not your fault, and its okay, and I just cringed.. I still feel just horrible about this but it is just what it is, Its over and done. So thats all.
I have missed you all alot. I am somewhat in a blue state lately, and wish it to pass. Linda
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I wish so much this was a bad dream |
05-04-2008 - 08:14 PM |
My cat I adopted and flew home from Chicago a month ago was killed last Sat , by a car about 3 miles away from our house and on a major road. I saw her with my own eyes, made my husband turn around and go back after he took me home. I couldnt look, He went back and came home to confirm what I feared. It was her. She is gone . So horrible, I am feeling like a piece of crap. I have not been able to tell my DD yet. I am waiting till after May 7th , which is her final exam, because I know she will be very upset..
I just wish this was a bad dream, but I gotta face the truth and be honest with her..
I am tired and my throat hurts. I am going to try to sleep now. Love ya all. Linda
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Hi strangers |
04-06-2008 - 10:08 PM |
As usual, I ducked out for nearly 2 months this time. No explanation, just been playin all my roles in the drama called life!!
I actually deleted the last post, just because I didnt want it out there any longer. It was too disclosing and somehow now I wanted it gone..
I made the airplane trip from Chicago to Richmond with the cat and it went fine. My only scary moment was at the security walk thru they made me take the cat OUT of her carrier and hold her while I walked thru the xray doorway, I was a bit freaked out because this cat weighs 15 lbs and had no collar or leash on, and although we had given her some antihistamine (per vets advice) I was afraid she may bolt out of my arms and I would never get her and she would live in eternity at the Ohare airport!!
But we made it and its been 2 weeks and she has adjusted fine. As the weather warms up more, I will put her outdoors most of the day. We have a large back yard with a tall privacy fence. My other cats adore being in the yard, chasing squirrels and wishin they could get a bird. I have several feeders and two birdbaths to entertain them. I keep a collar with a bell on it on the kitties, to announce before they pounce!!
I have become an exercise aholic, I love the Expresso Bikes we have at the Y, here. Its a great bike ride with simulator effects and a screen that makes you feel you are on a trail of your choice. I had gotten into the rut of always hoppin on the treadmill and now I get on this bike every time. I am finding my clothes fit looser, and I love the high after a good workout.. I want arms like Madonna!!!! Not gonna happen. She never got fat. I have been there done that. I allow myself foods I used to forbid, as long as I work out. I spend 40 min on the weights circuit followed by thirty on the bike. I am soaked after the bike ride and know I am stokin the metabolism. Some ladies there want me to try Pilates and Zumba.. I will , but now I love this bike...
Hello and Happy Spring to ya all!!!!!! Linda
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Sunday |
02-17-2008 - 02:38 PM |
Worked night shift last night. Am drinking coffee and feeling a little melancholy.
Well tomorrow is the annivers of my Daddy's death, One year. Hard to imagine.
I placed an In Memoriam in our local newspaper. I had to stay up this am after working to read it. It is fine. I also know thats IT for me. Now I want to close the chapter on my Daddy . as far as the writing and all. It is just time.
I know I treasure his memories and will never have a day of not missing him. BUT , I also know I need to live life here and now for my Dh, my kids and grandkids and cats and mostly SELF!!
So now I need to prepare for the week after this one coming. I have a date and time set on Mon Feb 25th, for my mom's biospy. (Third try)..
She will be fine, It will be done and behind us and I do feel confident this time, I feel that since this is only some small calcium deposits, and not a mass like last years, It will be nothing..
I have lost 20 lbs since starting my YMCA and Low carb.
I feel my clothes gettin loose. I hate my boobies. They dropped some weight and , now I gotta tighten up the bra strap to hike em up!!
We completed the taxes for last year, Glad its over..
I have made a three day short trip to Chicago plan to see my DD. This will probably be the last time I get to spend the time solo with her, She has become very serious with the boyfriend, (i.e) he has asked her to move in .
Now the problem that arises with that where I am involved is her kitty. She has a cat that she has had 8 years. It is an indoor cat, obviously as she lives in Downtown Chicago in an apartment. Well. turns out her boyfriend had to admit he is allergic to cats.
Well, guess what? DD calls me crying and has tried searching for a home for Sassy , or a shelter, and NO go!!
She is desperate.
In steps MOM.. as usually I have to try to fix the world. well, Thats just kind of how we women are , whether we are moms or not, so;;;
I fly home with the cat in March.
Now then if any of you out there in VA want to adopt this sweet furbaby. LET me know!!!!! I will get her to you!!
I dont know about you but , I am ready for spring!!!!!!!!! Linda
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(This entry has 4 member comments.)
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Little update |
02-06-2008 - 10:45 AM |
Well, after a week , the surgeon finally called and he has made a schedule for a different Radiologist , and at a different hospital with a digital mammo machine, for my mother.
Whats neat is I had FINALLY made the decision to just go ahead and prepare her, and tell her that, yes they did still see the spots.. I casually just called her on the phone and . literally within minutes after telling her, what may have to happen, he calls, and confirms a date, etc/
So on Feb 25th, we go for try # 3 !!!!!
The way I see it is .. three strikes YOU'RE O-U-T !!!!!!!
Hope all is well for everyone, I am so sorry about the tornados and frightening storms across the south and midwest.. Hope all are okay ,
It is 80 degrees here in VA today. This is a record,. It is normally the time we get snow when we get snow, BUt 80 degrees!!!!! Take care.
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(This entry has 3 member comments.)
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Welcome any advice???? |
01-25-2008 - 10:00 AM |
I hadnt even spoken of the latest issue with my mother. I need to vent today, so hope I dont lose you in the details. I am just so upset and frustrated with the whole mess.
Here's a synopsis:
One year ago On Jan 9th , my mother had to have a radical Mastectomy of her right breast. Done, gone No problem.
Fast forward this year, we had her routine mammo in the remaining(left breast) on Dec 12th. They find some tiny spots called calcium deposits. Boom, we make an appointment to attempt a breast biopsy while she lies face down on a hard table with a whole cut out, so the breast would be dangling down. This was attempted Jan 7th , NO GO!! Her breast is basically a piece of skin, It did not make the required measurement of 25 mm. So that attempt was aborted.
Next::: (still with me?) We went to the hospital on Tuesday and she had been preadmitted to attempt a needle localization , which is done in xray using a mammogram machine and at the same time a MD attempts to insert a wire to pinpoint or localize these spots . NO GO! This was to be followed immediately by a trip into the O.R., and her surgeon would then look for this identified or localized spot with the supposedly placed wire and , BOOM he does a biopsy, Well after 6 different attempts to locate the spots in the xray, the Dr could NOT see or locate or find them to pinpoint for the surgeon. They said they need to see it in at least 2 views and could only see it in ONE, so , Yep, They cancelled the surgey and they discharged her home (this is after 3 hours of bumbling), So we are happy and of course my mother sees this as,"OH well then I jhave had a miracle, The spots are gone, I am cured, I am healed !! all that. We go home . she calls everyone We are happy and we think its over..
Next day I send roses, She goes to church on Wed pm for the weekly family night supper and tells everyone of being healed , Get the picture??
While she is at church with her lady friends , I get a telephone call from the surgeon, at 730 pm in evening, This is the same surgeon that removed her right breast last year and he was to do the biopsy this Tues , of course we never saw him that day due to no localization, etc etc.
BUT he is calling to succintly say ," I am sorry I did not get over to see your mother, He said the xray MD did come into the OR and did show him the films and was told they couldnt see it in but one view. He says, HE COULD SEE two views and he couldnt get over there and he also said in a round about way, I feel there are two other very good XRAY MDS that are not the one we had, He said he was going to make phone calls and set up a THIRD attempt at one of 2 different hospitals to try to biopsy these spots.
Thing is my mother does not know and will not believe this, I have not told her of this phone call and I await him calling me back.
In her mind the whole thing is closed, done, resolved , she is safe, she has NO spots , therefore nothing to worry about.
I am so sad and scared to tell her and cannot yet. I do think she will say NO , no more trys, She will refuse and I will be in anguish and thats the bottom line.
Should I tell her?? Should I wait? I am in a emotional mess and it is SO hard with my own mother.. She trusts me and she listens but this time I need her to be allowed to say No if she wants..
Then if we refuse and something happens...........
Thanks for the shoulder sorry so long.
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(This entry has 8 member comments.)
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On my mind today got a second? |
01-13-2008 - 01:52 PM |
Sometimes I wonder, well, My DH just traded in his truck for a new one, which wouldnt be so big a deal if he had not just gotten the other one less than a yr ago, and the past five yrs same thing, He is never satisfied. We had paid off all of our debts and now he has financed this truck and I am at a loss, he and I had a HUGE fight all the way from NC, I just got in after we spent the night down there with his son and the wife and kids. I am so upset. I feel betrayed and hurt , and very angry. He is so good most of the time but a jerk other times . This time he was a jerk. I cried all the way home when I found out , and he and I should have space , I have to go over to my mothers and fix dinner, Her caregiver left with a cold. Dayyyammm its always sumthin!! L
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(This entry has 4 member comments.)
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New Pics up |
01-07-2008 - 09:50 PM |
I posted a couple of pics taken this Christmas while DD was home from Chicago.
Today was long, I had to take my mother for the stereotactic mammo assisted breast biopsy , and it could not be done. They had her lying face down on a hard table and the breast was suspended thru a opening as they compressed it to try for biopsy, Her remaining breast is so thin and tiny it did not make the max measurement requirement .( it has to be 25 mm and hers was 19mm, so the needle would have gone straight thru.) So, she now will have to have it done at the hospital by a radiologist under anesthesia.
I am tired. I am gonna have to write later
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So, whats up buttercup? |
01-02-2008 - 05:19 PM |
I am gonna see if I can condense the past few weeks or so.. I am so so blessed , I just mean that, Maybe it sounds kind of hokie or cheesy or what the heck ever, but I needed to say that looking back over my past year, I have been just a lucky soul to have the good fortune and strength to keep on , after the obstacles and stuff that occured along the journey..
I will say I am glad to welcome a new year in!! 2007 brought a few bits of heartache, obviously losing the sweetest man of my life, my darling Daddy. Thats just all I can say about that..
But I discovered my deepest tough parts that lie beneath and for that I am glad.
Our anniversary trip to St Thomas was very nice, and had loads of sunshine and relaxation.. Need to say I am also grateful for my opportunities to get to travel. I am thankful and will not take it for granted and felt I needed to say that.
I met three wonderful ladies on the trip and made me even a stronger believer in the things that seem untangible, such as fate and destiny as well as angels and all of the beauty that is there ..
I was entering the pool alone one morning as the sun warmed up the sky, I noticed that inside of the pool was a huge mural of a bright yellow butterfly on the wall, Now you that have followed my stories along the way know my butterfly connection and its significance as a spiritual presence that represents my sister we lost in 2005. So there is this beautiful butterfly there, and I see three ladies gathered in the pool chatting and so being the social southern chatter box that I am, I went over and introduced myself, promptly noting two of the ladies had small butterfly tattoos , as I do. But mine is hidden well under the bathing suit, theirs were visible and naturally after the initial superficial greetings , ya know, like" Hi, where are you from?,Whats your name?" etc etc, I discovered that one was from New York, one from Florida and one from Nebraska, I told them I was from Va. We chatted a bit and I mentioned how I loved that butterfly, well they agreed and so I asked is the butterfly of a special significance for ya'll??? Oh my the can of worms I opened.. First I got . simple yes, so I plunged and told why I loved the butterfly and what it meant for me, well, turns out all three of these lladies had been visited by a butterfly at the time of a death of a very close loved one.. The lady from NEW YORK had lost her son at age 15 to spinal bifida, He had died on Dec 21st( Few years ago), The lady from Fla had lost a daughter at age 24 on Dec 8th ( a few yrs ago) and the gal from Nebraska had lost her sister, All three related very much to my story and as a result right there we bonded and we connected and we sort of stayed together for a little part of each day, usually around the pool and once at a dinner.. We became close and now I have three new friends and we have e mailed and plan to stay in touch.. It was just an incredible few days.. I cry when I talk of this, I know some people will roll their eyes and snicker , I know but I am sharing this to you all, my best shoulders and ears and hearts I have opened up to for nearly 2 years, now.
Melanie , you will need to know I value your friendship deeply and the getting to know you, as a sister in person! ( Melanie is the only one I have met here..
One of my hopes is for a gathering of some of us that are located somewhat close.. Clare if you are listening and Mei ( UK and Singapore ) I include you, but know it would be a bit of a trip!!
I am doing low carb and the YMCA, I have kept off 12 lounds but gained a few over the holidays.. Thats what happens when ya eat cookies and fruitcake, Hey anyone like fruitcake??? My DH and I actually love that stuff. Entemans makes a good one.
We had a good Christmas My DD flew home from Chicago and has a serious romance developing. The guy is a professor at Northwestern Univ. He is working on a Ph D. and will be assistant director of the dept which I wont name as I am scared of a google search and then he may find this and read the whole journal ,then run run away from my DD as he would say Oh wow that is a nut>>>
I am off tonight and I am going to have a dead sea mask and a soak in a hot tub, and put on a flannel gown and veg out in front of the fireplace , NOW it is finally cold here, and I need a good soak. I bought 10 lbs of PURE Dead Sea mud from E bay for 30 dollars. Let me tell you one application of this stuff is at least 30 dollars at a spa and This came in a 10 lb pail , like a beach bucket! Its great stuff, My skin has cleared up 100 percent!!!!!!!! I will share the site if anyone wants to get some. People that run spas and salons and give facials and body treatments buy from them......
I have gotten onto Napster and I am playing " Green Eyes "by Coldplay. The song says how I feel about my friends , all of you.. I love you .. Linda
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(This entry has 6 member comments.)
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Happy 2008 to you, my friends |
01-01-2008 - 08:33 PM |
I am only jumpin on for a few seconds, as I am working tonight. I have a holiday committment , and I had Christmas Eve and day off so I worked New Years Eve and will work night shift tonight.
NO resolutions for me. Frankly , been there done that.
BUT I do want to say I have treasured our friendships here and have been missing this away time. and to say to you all..
Happy New Year ladies!!!
Always, Linda
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Hi ya'll |
12-18-2007 - 01:39 PM |
Okay , so I know , I KNOW I have been AWOL aound here.
The truth is I have meaning to get back and the procastination bug sets in..
Was sitting here checking my e mail when I opened a birthday greeting from HS (hyster sisters) that led to a link back and HERE I AM.
I just returned From a beautiful week in ST.Thomas, .U.S.V. I.
We were celebrating our anniversary where we honeymooned. I met some great people that I really connected with.. I will have to tell that story later.
But I have read thru some of the journals I have missed and see have missed SO much. Now I feel so bad and I am sorry.
I have missed our daily words alot and I will get caught up, soon.. You are all special.. I am going to have dinner with some good friends, and stop by mothers house, so I willb back tomorrow!!!MISSSED YA
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Life...... goes on. |
10-30-2007 - 07:00 AM |
As well it needs to.
Returned from the Palm Beach family trip and memorial. So very very happy to have that all behind me, and now I can close that chapter of my life. To have the final farewell for G and B is such a tremendous relief and a very long time coming!! I believe my sister and brother in laws children feel the same way, as well as my remaining sister, J.
We had ten adults and two children. Had 4 Condo units thru timeshare to stay. Each unit had a balcony overlooking the ocean, and pool. The resort put us in units , all on the same floor and made it nice to go back and forth between rooms. I felt like we were in a college dorm!
We did a lot of sunning, relaxing, eating, and laughing. We sadly watched the news of the fires every am, in California. and every PM, we walked along the beach. Had two rained out days. Found the shops and the local WalMart and hung out.
My nephew (sister G's only son) 22 got my DH and I to drink some shooter drinks one night at the tiki bar. These were very very sweet layered concoctions with the names of Sex with and Alligator and Chocolate Cake!! Lets just say that night I was not feeling any pain.. yeeechh..
The day we ended up selecting was Thursday Oct 25th at 10 a.m. as the committing of the ashes needed a sunny and calm day from the boat. We can not have 12 on the boat , so we decided the spouses (except mine
who had to pilot) and the babies (age 2 months and two yrs) and my younger sister's dtr (16) to help babysit stayed on land. So we drove over to the marina and then my Husband and my sister and my two neices and nephew boarded our boat, took a nice slow trip maybe 2 miles out away from the inlet and just into the ocean. The resort remained visible from the boat , and that way we knew the ashes would be there in the water close to us , maybe a day ?
After selecting the spot to stop, we idled, never anchored and we drifted about as each of us kneeled down along the side and said whatever was on our minds briefly a few words, and scattered the ashes out and into the water. Their children went first, starting with R, my nephew, and then the girls. Next I had my turn, followed by my younger sister..
NOW the coolest part!! I had not been able to order any butterflies for several reasons , the main one being we could not know what exact date we would go out ahead of time due to the weather and water conditions, so I was kind of bummed about that, well, we had a lovely surprise occur, immediately after all of the remains had been taken care of, we turned the boat and drifted a few ft, as at that instant out of nowhere a large school of flying fish flew in a wide arc out of the water , up then down in a series of three jumps, then disappeared. It was very fast and sudden and startled us, but everyone saw it and it was perfect and we actually laughed, as we said it felt like that was G and B saying, "Thanks Finally we are here, we are home!!"
I have never seen flying fish , a few of the others said they had once, but at first they kind of looked like hummingbirds , They were small and had a longish beak or snout but , wow that scene will stay in my heart and mind forever,, The sky was blue and the sun warm , with a slight balmy breeze and then those fish. I felt like a child in awe of seeing Santa or the Easter Bunnie or something! Lol
So that was it , we went back to a marina nd had a large breakfast with Eggs Benedict and waffles and went on back to enjoy the rst of that day as well as the next 3 days before we got back. I, am
Just so content now.. I will return to work this afternoon and life will go on, like we all know it does. Love ya all
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Hi and Bye |
10-18-2007 - 06:14 PM |
Hey ladies, once again, thanks so much for your support and prayers that you sent out for my friend. I did go to the viewing, but not the funeral mass. There were so many people there, So many flowers , but naturally just one of the saddest events imaginable.. You could not help but just cry at the sight of this brave young woman saying goodbye to her kids Daddy and her love of her life.. It was tough to see.
Moving on in my life, we are making preparations for the big long awaited trip to finally close the journey for my sister and brother in law, as we will committ their ashes to the sea, there in Palm Beach where they desperatly wanted to one day be. It will be bittersweet and also a great week of laughter and love and family .
I made all the arrangements today for taking care of my mother this weekend, as my regular every other weekend caregiver bailed out on me(AGAIN). I got my dear angel named Annie, the same Annie that also gave such great tender care to my Daddy before he ended his life journey in Feb. IN FACT , Annie was there all thru that final night for Daddy. So today she called me back and will be with my mother all weekend, then for the week, our regular caregiver will take over.. I need to go to my mothers house and leave the weeks meds and some grocery cash at the house, and after that I come home to begin the task I dread, packing .. My Dh will leave on Sat, am as he is driivng and towing the boat. I will have my neice and her baby and boyfriend spend the nite with me Sat and we fly out of Richmond at 6 am on Sunday. My Dh is supposed to be at the airport in Ft Lauderdale in time Sun at noon to pick us up.
Melanie, (Puggie) you will never know how much your offer to go sit with my mother whom you have never really met, other than at Daddys viewing.. Melanie you are a great friend, and I wanted to say that publically in this forum.
And to think we met here, right here thru Hyster sisters!!!
So, my dear friends I will write when we get back . Thanks for being there, Love Linda
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Sad news today. |
10-10-2007 - 06:56 PM |
One of the nurses I worked with about a yr ago, that has since transferred to another unit, told another Nurse whom then called me last pm, to share the story, that L's husband was in on a contract job in Guatemala painting a large boat , when he fell a great distance down off of a scaffold, He landed face down and suffered a fractured skull and nose . He remained conscious for a while as the other workers got him to a clinic, where he began to have a seizure, due to brain hemmorrhage, followed by a coma.
The people got in touch with L. and she had to obtain an emergency passport and had to fly out, She made it to see him for a few hrs as he struggled on life support, but last pm, he died. She had to leave him there and fly home and face the task of telling the three children Daddy is gone and wont be home, They are 4, 8 and 12.. Gut wrenching and so sad!! His body will be flown back for srvices later FRiday..
This has shaken all of us a great deal. so I am putting it out there to seek any ones extra prayers to go out today for her and those children. So sad.. sometimes , this world?
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Nuttin much |
10-05-2007 - 08:01 AM |
Just routine stuff for me, which is nice, Oh with one nice exception, DD is home for a few day visit from Chicago. She cannot stay past Sun since she is in the first semester of Nursing School!
This evening we will have a cookout. For those of ya'll in other places, a barbecue.. Here its just a "cookout", meaning we throw burgers and dogs on the grill and put some chips and dip out.. Beer and soda, maybe a bottle of wine. We are having my son and his girlfriend and my neice and her baby boy ( 2 months) and my Dh's dtr and her kids, etc.. So just a group of family havin a good time.
Usually by this time of the yr, I have planted pansies and mums, and trimmed shrubs in the front. but seems like this warm summer weather has lingered and I just have not gotten the round TUIT!!!
I have lost another 2 lbs, and am really charged up about that..
I need to buy some jeans !! I have not worn a pr jeans since 2004!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I found a new fragrance I absolutely love. I used to always wear either Clinique Happy or Chanel Crystal, both are crisp citrusy light and clean fragrances, but I am hooked on Angel by Thiery Muegler.. Its warm and delicious, and one of the first scents my DH actually notices!!
Tell me what scents you all love? Okay ladies, have a great weekend.. Love you all
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Our Memorial Trip Is Set |
09-21-2007 - 07:23 PM |
I am ready to share the plans with you all. I have been working on this since March , I think it was, I know it was something my family and I have needed to do for two yrs,but for those of you that have stuck around and followed my story since the start, you know why it couldnt happen till Now.
Here is what will take place..
One month from today my DH and I ,and my younger and only sister and her Dh , as well as my two nieces and their babies and husbands, and also my nephew, (single,no kids,)will join together for a week long trip to Palm Beach, Fla. The more precise location is Jupiter. Fla. The purpose of our trip is multiple.
First, and foremost we need to have the closure and the final resting place for my sister and her husband's ashes. Some of you remember my story I relayed thru this forum in my early days of journaling, My family endured a most tragic yr in 2005 when I lost my sister on Sept 9th, and on Sept 21st, her husband then died, We say he died of a broken heart and it is partly true. That year 2005 had been hellish, especially because my late father whom I just lost this Feb had been diagnosed with the Sacral chordoma which ended up causing his demise Feb ,18.2007/ He had been diagnosed and was in the hospital when I myself went to her house and found my sister dead. My hardest task in my life followed , on that day when I first had the task of telling my mother, then gathering my niece and nephew and telling them . My oldest niece had to learn over the phone, as she is out of town. I cannot go back and detail allof the story of the deaths and the events that led up to it, but its not important now,
So..... since we have come to a full two yr point and my youngest niece had her baby, and Daddy is no longer suffering and has passed , NOW we will have this closure.
I arranged to rent 4 oceanfront condos(thru our timeshare)
and we will take the boat and hopefully have a great Florida sunset and then scatter their ashes into the water and also release a dozen or more tiger swallowtail butterflies. I have learned that the Friday of the week we are there(Oct 21 thru Oct.28th) there will be a full moon!!
The reason for the location was easy. My sister's Dh was born and lived in Palm Beach, and that is where they always spent their vacations and one week before my Sister died, they had been there and had dreams and plans of one day getting there to live.. It was not to be on this earth, but we will leave their remains there as they wished and I just know finally we all will feel the circle is full now.
I bought airline tickets for myself and my youngest niece and her baby. and my younger sister and her DHwill fly from Illinois. My Dh will have to drive so he can tow the boat.
We all are so looking forward to this, as a fun family vacation, as well as providing my sister and her Dh a final place to be, that is where they wanted to be!
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Re. The last entry |
08-30-2007 - 06:56 AM |
Thanks so much for the good replies. I feel loved and happy not to get fussed at.. Even my mother surprised me with the reaction, She said," Oh thats pretty, did it hurt?" I wanted to reply to you Marta, yes they used a new sealed autoclaved needle and inks. I used yellow and orange colors with an outline in black.
The cost was 50 bucks! It was listed as 80 but they gave me a little break because it was near closing time and she gets 50 percent anyway.
But they had tattoos in there for over 1000. !!!!!!! Those were huge and involved. My main focus was to have it placed under clothing to be only seen if I wanted to.
I uploaded alittle picture of it to see , here. It takes a few hours to be there, so go check it out if ya wanna!!
Have a great Thurs,
P.S. Puggie I will see ya this pm at 7!!!!! You can see my tat in person, now arent you the lucky girl!!! he he...
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UNBELIEVABLE!!! |
08-29-2007 - 01:18 PM |
To me anyway, what I did while at the beach,, Okay , I gotta tell ya'll.. OH MY LORD>>>>>
Okay ready...
okay! okay here I go.. well at the beach there is this place and.. um.......... er ...............okay I am scared to say what I did, I can just hear the gasps and groans and NO she DID NOT"S!!!!
Well I had a tattoo done. Yes I did, I can even produce a photo if you want to see.
I guess those of you that have been following my story for a while and know the symbolism of the butterfly in my life , also dont have to guess WHAT I tatooed on meself!!
I am telling you though I was always one that swore up and down NO! no way not me never ever would I do a tattoo!! But
Being away at the ocean always leads me to ponder my life and do a lot of soul searchin, and the like..
On the Outer Banks of NC, there is a Bridge that takes you across the Oregon Inlet and the little island it connects to is called Manteo, Very historic little fishing village that has a wonderful outdoor recreation of the Lost Colony, There are the Elizabethian Gardens which are lovely and then their are a gazillion little places to eat and shop, etc. But if you take a short detour away from Manteo there is a tiny community called Manns' Harbour which houses a tattoo shop that is housed in an old home that is nearly 100 yrs old. It is called Vertigo, and is actually the spot where anyone I know that got a tattoo went to do it!
On Saturday evening DH and I left the motel and drove out to find dinner. I said , ya know lets drive down to Mann's Harbour, and just SEE this tattoo place, I think I may do it!
Of course DH said YOU wont do it!. Ahem this just pushed me further, WE drove over , I talked to the artist. I selcted a design, I signed my consent certifying that I was over 18 !!! and then , it happened..
Yep it hurt and no I dont regret it at all/ I am 50 years old and was straight as an arrow that day, I realize many folks that get the tattoo have imbibed in alcohol prior to the moments beforehand. Nope. I had only had bottled water and Diet Pepsi, etc all day.
I called my DD (first) in Chicago and told her , she was greatly tickled! She did not believe me for several minutes till I had the waitress at this little beach pub we visit to take the phone and confirm this. Then I e mailed her a picture . Actually both my kids think its darn cool..
I selected a small one and it is discreetly tucked under my bra 0r bathing suit strap on my chest above my heart. I had to tell you all. This was my big excitin news.!!
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Deja Vu |
08-21-2007 - 07:50 PM |
Had another huge thunderstorm this pm, and sure enough , just as it did Thur s, my mother's power went out, She lives in an older home where the electrical power enters via above ground wires and it seems it loses power too much!
I went over and helped her get put of the chair and into bed, Visited a bit, and then returned home.
I finished my two nightshifts at work Sun and Mon p.m. and I am off for 4 days. I am making a getaway to the the beaches in the morning. I will drive down tomorrow alone, and DH will join me on FRI. We have to return Sun.. I am READY for some fresh relaxation.
My step D will look after my kitten. and the house, Its kind of payback as we have babysat three days this week for her kids. Its fun though..
I have been having alot of odd pains in my abd area and I swear to goodness it feels like my memory of Cramps!!!! Go figure that.. My hyster was Jan 06 and feels like a hundred yrs ago..
I continue low carb and almost have dropped 15 lbs now. I am so HAPPY ,, Its just what has worked for me, and It took along time to figure it out~
Peace out Sistahs!!
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Sunday pm |
08-19-2007 - 03:36 PM |
Sometimes the hardest thing for this journal is the title of the darn thing. So since I have no title today, heck it IS Sunday pm.
Anyway.. my days these past two weeks have been getting to know the new baby boy, Hayden. My neice is becoming a wonderful young mommi. We all have been blessed , I have put up one photo of him when he was about 10 minutes old!! GO see him!
Today I have been feeling sort of sad and having a mess of memories flood in of Daddy, He has been gone 6 months yesterday and as time goes by , the loss seems deeper somehow. I guess I must be realizing I just MISS him. I know this will take time. I accept that, still it is hard at times.
We had a huge major long thunderstorm here Thurs pm, My mother lost electricity in her home for over 24 hrs and we had to toss all her food and I couldnt keep her there alone with no lights at night and not to mention it was 96 degrees here Fri, so I got her and her caregiver a motel. I couldnt manage her in my house simply because I spent Fri babysitting my 4yr old grand dtr, and the My neice bought the baby by and I kept him for about 2 hrs so they could go out for Mexican.. Also The bed I have in our guest room is too high to get my mother in, so the idea of a motel worked great. She actually got a kick out of it, like a little change of scenery does us all good. She could not get over the size of the bed, It had two large queen beds and a huge recliner, and was set up as handicap acceptable , which was great to help with the toileting, etc.
I have been gradually allowing the kitten to explore the backyard. We just put in the fench so she seems content to stay in the yard. I have enjoyed her and she is so much bigger. I just looked at my pictures in the photo gallery and realized how tiny she was when my DS gave her to me!!
Have a good week, ya'll...... Many blessings to each of you! Linda
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Hi ya'll |
08-12-2007 - 04:16 AM |
And hows everyone today?? I am working this weekend and only have a minute now, so just poppin in.
My biggest news is my niece, had her baby last Sat. I was with her in the delivery room, and I got her little silver pendant of a butterfly that she wore around her neck the entire time, sort of a token to have her mom there in a way.
Mom and baby are great. She had a little boy 6lbs 5 oz.. I will post a pic in a day or so.
Bless each of you as you all go about your daily lives. May we meet someday!! Linda
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(This entry has 7 member comments.)
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Time |
07-29-2007 - 12:45 AM |
Something we never seem to have enough of, I have let a week go by and not written. Guess it gets lame to keep apologizing. Nuff said..
I am at work and its a pretty quiet night, We only have 7 patients and I am working with just one other nurse.
We should have three nurses but one had to float to CCU.
I have some time to drop in and add a few words.
The outdoor party I had last Sat was good. I had 32 people come, and that includes a good number of kids. We set up a badminton net and had a little splash pool , and slip n slide for the kiddies.
Of course I had tooo much food. There were tons of barbecue left over and , I had cheese trays and meatballs, and alot of cut of veggies. The cake was almost devoured, I had a large sheet cake and what little bit that remained got taken to my mother. I figured she is losing too much weight and needs it more than I do!!
I have not mentioned (I dont think) I have been eating very low carb for almost 8 weeks now. I have lost 11 lbs. I am pretty happy about that..
I eat veggies, berries, salads, eggs cheese, meat and fish.
I did not have any birthday cake at two parties . That was a challenge. I feel better when I have less poundage
I have done this sevearl times , usually in the summer , It works well for me, We enjoy grilling out and eating fresh seafood..
My DS was the main reason for the party, but I celebrated more July birthdays. There are alot in my family. Happy Birthday to Puggie.. I had her at the party! ( Puggie is a hystersister, here).. We have become good friends, Our surgeries were done two doors apart, same hospital, same week, different day.. Met here! . Thanks for the yummy pizza dip, also!
I have to go over and stay with my mother in the morning instead of going home to sleep. Her caregiver took off the weekend..
I miss you all and wish I could keep up better, All I can do is try. I am reading your journals.. Keep writing.
Have a good Sunday. Linda
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Update |
07-17-2007 - 11:43 AM |
My mother is doing fine. She is back to her routine and home, Thanks for caring.. I agree with those that commented on the falling apart of the caregiver She did, But I also will add she just left her husband for abuse and she and her 3 kids are living with her parents She is 25, She is young and I suppose a bit emotionally attached to my mom, as she has been with my father as well, up till he died, I think she sort of freaked out because she panicked, No, not ideal but it happened, and thats what I wanted to write about..
I appreciate the feedback and support but hate that term martyr, just do, to me that is someone who says," hey look at me, look at how much I do." If thats the picture I put across, Its not intentional. I feel I do allow myself rest amd I do get away and I do take time for me, and I will continue to do those good things. AS a person that has always been a nurturer and a fixer of all , or at least try it is just hard to step back, my mother has nobody left here, but me.. That wont change.......
I took Grandson shopping and he picked out a gameboy game and a new surfer shorts, We fixed breakfast together and now DH took him to see Harry Potter, I have never gotten into Harry Potter altho my whole family does! In an hr we go to the pool and I plan to soak up some good sunshine ,
Anyway take care and thnaks for the feedback, all is appreciated, Love Linda
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(This entry has 9 member comments.)
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Upset and bad bad experience |
07-16-2007 - 08:38 PM |
Wow, Been a hard upset of a weekend. heres my story and it isnt pretty..
I had planned on driving down to Blacksburg to celebrate the 2nd birthday of my niece's baby. ( My sister Gails only grandchild, that she never had the chance to meet)I had arranged a CNA to be with my mother all weekend, as I normally do. I went over and brought her groceries, fixed her meds for the week, gave her a hug and a kiss and said my goodbyes. I took gifts she had me to by from her for her great grandchild. So we left on Sat am, It is almost a 4 hr drive from my home to my nieces in Blacksburg. At about 2pm, I called my Mother and spoke to the CNA for about 10 min or so, via my cellphone as DH drove. She told me" your mom is in the bathroom", she had been having chronic issues with , um ya know Constipation. A lot of the meds she takes will bind ya up tighter than a Texas tick.
So I told her okay, I will call her back in a little bit. So about 20 min later my cell rings.. I answer and see my mothers number and expect its mom and we will have a nice talk, and it was the CNA whom is now shreaking hysterically , "LINDA, OH MY GOD, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR MOTHER!! i CANNOT AROUSE HER , SHE IS UNCONSCIOUS,, OH MY GOD.. (SCREAMS..... INSERT MY MOMS NAME) .
Okay so I ask in a hurry , Heather , is she breathing? What is she DOING?? She screams back, "I DONT KNOW, (SCREAMS MRS..... ( INSERT MY MOMS NAME)..
OK, so now I screamed, HANG UP THIS PHONE AND CALL 911!!!!!!
She said okay and she called them and I wait about 8 minutes and call her back to see whats happening , she was still on the phone with the dispatcher so i hung on and listened as they told her to lower my mother to the flor, and to check for breathing etc etc,, I said , Heather please as soon as they arrive have them call me, I hung up, and proceeded to hyperventilate and cry and repeat outloud to poor DH," OH god, no Oh God Oh God, I vsiualized my mother was dead on the bathroom floor and at this point I was almost 4 hrs away form home. So my poor darling man, kept trying pitifully to calm me, he said Linda there is nothing we can do, Just wait , Calm down. I felt SO totally helpless and insanely mad.
Finally I get the rescue squad guy as he was on the scene and at this point they were getting a response but she was somewhat incoherently babbling, They started an IV, ran a 12 lead , packed her up and off they went to the hospital where I work.
I told them call me on the cell as SOON as they have any change or anything to report.
I made the decision to stay put , by now we had arrived at the house we were visiting, I knew to turn around and drive 4 hrs back would be insane, since I knew she was safely taken to the ER..
So I fumbled thru the motions of a 2 yr old bd party. I kept checking my phone and FINALLY I get the call. My mother had a ful blown syncopal event, meaning during the excess straining down trying to have that blessed BM, she dropped her heart rate down so low, it shut off the flow to the brain and she crumped out, and passed out , a step above a faint in that she had the blue lips and the blown puplis and all of that. She was down probably two minutes , but she remained breathing..
I got several more calls as the night progressed and she had a heart monitor on, At first her heart rates were in the 30's and 40;s , (TTOOO LLOWW!) She was alert now and talking and seemed to be okay. The CNA happened to have her mother as a RN that works at the same hospital and she came down and stayed with them all evening till they admitted her to her room. She got to the room on my unit where I work, They called in my Daddys cardiologist and he admitted her to a telemetry bed, (heart monitored)
The CNA came back in the morning on Sun and stayed till I drove home, I went straight to the bedside where she seemed okay, They did an echocardigram, and a carotid doppler study and labs , EKGs , chest xray.ALL normal!!
They then treated her very large blockage with Miralax and Sorbitol , that worked and she stayed all weekend. I was supposed to spend today gettign things lined up for the bash we are throwing Sat. I have nearly 35 coming and some form out of town, I cannot cancel.
I feel like I aged 5 yrs this weekedn and I noticed Fri I had a sore throat. I did zicam for the day and nite and today I have full blown laryngitis, and sound like a frog
I had to take my mother home at noon, and I stayed with her and the regular caregiver till 3pm, I tried to nap on the couch, but ran short and had to work a short shift from 330 till 800pm. I worked but I first went to the DR, and he put me on a z pac, (5 days antibiotic)/
I just got home, I have a pounding headache, I have a raw throat and I just need to sleep. but at 7am tomorrow my stepdtr drops her oldest, off for a day to spend with us). It is HIS birthjday tomorrow and we promised we would spend a day with him and take him out and buy his gift. Now its the night before and I truly am so beat I doubt I will even be up when that doorbell rings/
Oh man, ya'll know you cant make this stuff up.. By the way Melanie Happy Birthday yesterday , Sorry I meant to call. So................. I need ya'lls hugs bring em on.. Love Linda
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Hey you all |
07-02-2007 - 03:20 PM |
I wanted to announce, officially, I AM FINE!!!! Now, that that's said, how is the world treating you all?
I do still read these journals often, and just cannot get the chance to always reply.. I wish I could figure a way to set up a gathering and a meeting of many of us, ya know?? It would be a tough task to get us all in seeing as we have ladies in this loop in the U.K., and Hawaii as well as Singapore( Mei),
I can barely afford airfare to visit my DD in Chicago, let alone fly halfways around the world.. Sigh.........................
My Dh and I are planning a big bash/ barbecue the third weekend in July, any of you that are in a driving distance, come on down !!
I have been working my flower beds and mulch areas and birdbaths and feeders and getting the yard all pretty and fun. I have this neat set of facial features My son gave me for a birthday gift a couple of years ago, Its attached to a large oak tree facing my breakfast nook window, and it always evokes a smile . I think my favorite time of day is about 630 or 700 a.m. while I have my solo quiet time in front of the Breakfast window , watching the birds feed, and the sky turning sunrise colors. It is after all the sweet simple things that bring us the most pleasure, dont ya agree??
I hope everyone is well and having a great week so far.. Thnaks for sharing some time with me! Linda
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Me again.. |
06-27-2007 - 03:21 AM |
I am at work, It is about 515 am, and I have just logged on and read all of your kind and wonderful reponses to my sharing my feelings.
To say how much I do appreciate it would be hard to convey the sincerity in that, but i do appreciate you all so much.
I have been dodging this truth for some time , now. Being a nurse and also having worked ten years in a psychiatric
setting, I know all too well these signs I have, Thanks Noni Ohio, (isnt yor name Annette).. Thank you all , you are my best friends and you get me, and I was afraid to divulge that about me,
Patty, you have a wonderful way with words , as always, But Thanks to ALL of you, I am humbled again, as always.
I am not at all suicidal, just I do think if I cannot work thru this soon, I will get an appt with someone. I have to face the true feelings, It is what it is,
Hope everyone has a great day today and tomorrow!
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My so called Life |
06-25-2007 - 06:19 PM |
That was the title to a short lived tv drama back in the 90's, My DD loved it, and Now I am using the title.
I am wondering outloud, here for a moment if this is what Depression feels like? I seem lower than dirt and my moods range from tearful to outright angry.
I said to my husband , I sort of just feel sick of everything and everybody.
I feel like my fun things now arent fun, and I am mopey and dopey and , God I am not liking this depression thing.
Maybe I was in denial all this time, trying to be the big do gooder, the fixer of all wrong, the one that had to get the laugh and the acceptance. Yes that was me, now it isnt working for me, so much...
My late sister, Gail had a good friend that went to Nursing School with her, The friends husband just up and disapeared one day. He literally left , no note , no hint , no sign of a clue, just vanished. He stayed gone for two years and turned up in the Fla Keys.. He had NO explanation, He just left everything!!
Thats how I feel./ I am sure it sounds insane to some but if I cannot come here and tell the truth, I dont know who I can tell.
Things that should mean alot , dont feel such a big deal/
My mother was doing great, since we lost Daddy, She called me at 5 am this a.m. woke me and announced she had called 9-1-1 and was going to the ER, I asked," Why didnt you call me?" Her reply, " I am too sick, the resque squad is here now" then she hung up. I went to the ER and guess what? She is FINE. Great , nada, ZIP. Nothing wrong with her , save her mania kicking in. I sigh. I helped her dress , drove her home, and the daily CNA took over.
I feel nothing . I dont want to see people or go out, I am scared that this is true, maybe I am writing a fiction novela. Nah.
I miss you all, I miss me, though. I will be okay, dont you all know?
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Friday , June 1st!!!! |
06-01-2007 - 11:18 AM |
I am on hold to our newspaper as I am having a In memoriam printed for my Daddy's birthday which is tomorrow. He would have been 81 tomorrow. I miss him alot. So , life goes on.
My son just left here with the kitten he gave me for Mother's Day. (Have ya seen the pics yet??)
DH and I are going to the beach for just the weekend and DS and his girlfriend will take care of Callie. So thats really good. I think they missed her alot since they had her for the 3 days prior to bringing her here.
The house I had to sell which was my parents they rented , sold and the closing is today, so hopefully we will get those proceeds soon. I am so very very Blessed you all, that all of this has unfolded so smoothly. I do owe thanks to God..
Miss Melanie (Puggie) and I had a fun evening Wed night at dinner and alot of laughs. She is so funny, you need to hear her tell how she almost slid off the exam table at her Drs visit, ahem and thats included the stirrup hold, too
I will be around next week so get those journals buzzin. ya hear??
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Check my Photo's |
05-30-2007 - 03:31 PM |
Well , not my photos, but I finally put a couple of the kitten up. They were taken the day I got her, on Mothers Day, and she has grown a bit now!! ( Her name remains Callie)
Well , I have missed the daily chatter here, just life , ya know?
I worked last night and awoke at 3 pm with a brutal headache. I call it my "nightshift" headache, because it has a unique feel to it. Two Advil and in a minute a hot shower will help.. Then I am meeting my Hystersister that is my friend here , Melanie, (Puggie), By the way, Melanie get yer bunz back here with us journalin..
I have to go, I will take more time tomorrow and catch up with everyone ...
I hope everyone is doing well!! Linda
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Hi from work |
05-25-2007 - 09:13 PM |
Daggone it is SO annoying and irritating, to say the least, I attempted to write an entry and had to leave the monitor for about 20 minutes, and boom, it disappeared , so anyway I am gonna try again.
The kitten is adorable, except when she bites my toes while I am in bed.. Such sharp little claws and teeth , Her name will stay Callie, after much vacillation back and forth, I am just gonna go with my first instinct, besides my mother insists she "look's" like a Callie. ** whatever......
I had the best pedicure ever today, Its a little treat I discovered about ten yrs ago, My friend said, once you get a pedicure, ya just cannot go back to simply painting your toenails!! A good pedi, should include massage of the feet and calves, and good skin care on the feet. as well as the toes.. But I plan to be back in my bathing suit Monday when DH and I will take our boat out on the lake. Such great relaxation, Love the sun, the water , the sky. All of it..
Today is my DD's bd, and she has been in Chicago for 4 yrs, and I have not been with her for any of those birthdays. So I mailed her a box with little gifts wrapped and included some cookies and brownies from our local market bakery here which they have not got there. She was thrilled.. one of her college roommates flew in for her birthday, and they will surely have a good visit. It is such a fun city to visit!!
Well , I want to wish you all a wonderful Holiday weekend and be safe on the roads. We leave in the morning for an overnite trip to vistit my stepson and his wife to celebrate the baby's first birthday! I sent a cute little white rocker with pink and yellow butterflies on it already Take care!!!
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The kitty name hunt goes on |
05-21-2007 - 05:17 PM |
GEEEEEESH, You know its just kind of pitiful that my biggest issue lately is choosing a name for a teeny baby kitten. I would like to respond to a few of your comments. First, Yes Birky Lady , I have always heard that calico's are always females. I have heard it but cannot figure it out. I mean the definition of a calico is the tri color fur, right? Then why couldnt a boy kitty be that?? Hey , Shawn, I had a Keeshond named Cleo!!
Anyway, I didnt get the anagram (NoniOhio) Maybe I am a dummy in English, whatever , explain it to me again slowly, lol,, I like Chloe! (Melanie) thats now on my list of possibles. I also love your theory (Marta ) to think outside the box. I had always wondered where your kitties got those unique names!! I love Sinead Oconnor's voice, I love Enya , they are both Celtic , I believe. maybe one of those!
Patty, Mooch is great!! I keep thinking I will end up sticking with my first instinct, Callie, but then just when I get used to it, another name pops up. I keep thinking she looks like a little bunny or a mouse , she is so cute..
I am sendig a box of birthday gifts to my DD, in Chicago. I have missed her past 4 bd's with her being there and it kind of stinks.
Anyone watch Greys Anatomy?? Did you just hate that attempt at sneaking in the stupid spin off show with Addison?? And I used to like Izzy but now she is a husband snatcher and makes me want to smack her.. My bet is he gets into movies more and drops Grey's , after all that..
Oh my life is so dull lately. Seems I dont have the stress and drama to report,. so hope you wont get bored with my kitten stories. Hugs to all you ladies.. Linda
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Wednesday |
05-16-2007 - 04:37 AM |
Okay, so you know that saying, You Cant teach an old dog new tricks? Well, that would be me at this moment. Good Lord it took me like 10 minutes after logging on to find the journals here with the new look . I personally liked the old way just fine. Anyway found it ,
The fla trip was wonderful and well needed. First time in 2 years of getting away with not obsessing about stuff at home. My mother did fine.
I have been working on the flowerbeds and mulch beds in the yard. I need to take a few pics and share, This is the 4th yr at this house, and it is finally starting to look well groomed. The best investment we have ever made was to install an irrigation system (sprinklers) Man to drag hoses and sprinklers all around the place and sit and watch that was annoying. Its really not bad in terms of water usage, We can set the timers as little or as much as we wish. So far this spring we have had some good rains so thats always welcome.
I want to let you know of the wonderful Mothers Day gift my son gave me.
I now have a baby kitten! He totally surprised me with it, He and his girlfriend came over on Sun and he handed me this box that was unwrapped and the look on his face was kind of sheepish and as I reached out to take the gift, I heard a scratching sound!! I sort of hesitated and said What is in there? I said and I thought , Is this a gag gift and something is gonna jump out at me and make me freak out? (I dont know I am thinking like a wind up snake on a spring or something. So my son goes, Mom just open it, and I set it on the table and removed the lid and out popped the sweetest tiny baby kitty, ever She is only about 5 weeks old and is a calico. Has the biggest eyes and ears. Just too cute, you all need to see her. I will get a pic up in the gallery soon , promise.Now I need to name her. You remember I just lost my previous furaby, Snuffy Feb 8th? She died 10 days before I lost Daddy. I never really had the chance to grieve the cat. But Snuffy was nearly 18 yrs old!
I need a new name and like original ones. I have been calling this kitten Callie but then my niece informed me Oh thats a common name She said there are 3 cats in her neighborhood named Callie . GRRRRR. I am thinking and your point?? She lives three hrs away in Blacksburg.
Okay so any ideas for a cute kitten name? Its a female tricolor calico ....
Thanks for listening, as always, Take care Linda
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Thinking of you , this morning |
05-09-2007 - 07:23 AM |
Hi, my best buddies! Its midweek, and as I normally do thought I'd pop in and say hi, I am on my Florida trip and must say we have had the most perfect sunny weather and glorious skies. Not to mention the condo unit we were put in is the top floor with a balcony overlooking the beautiful gulf. It pays off to schedule a trip in advance with the time share business. My DH booked this trip himself and I must say, he did a good job.
I am doing the usual beachy stuff, Sunbathing walking, eating and resting, I ended up having pretty nasty cold after all. I am still quite congested and a bit of sore throat, but what thehell ya know I will deal with that.
My mother had her bd Monday and did fine . I wired a bouquet and balloon and will be home to celebrate Mothers Day. She is really getting thru the grief stages so well, since losing my Dad. I do miss him so very much, but I am living my life much much more freely now, and it is about time.
Yesterday we walked thru a neighborhood right across the street here and priced homes on the water and even some just with a view and my gosh did we have a good hearty laugh!!! Try 1-3 million.. Well lets just say NOT!!
I often wonder where so many people get to be so well off. ????
I would imagine, though the cost of insurance to be in one of these coastal homes is exhorbitant! This particular spot I am on is a barrier island and is accessed by many causeways and bridges.. There is water everywhere ya look!
Talk to you all later! Take care Linda
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Our Royal Visitor Comes today |
05-03-2007 - 10:26 AM |
Well, being smack dab in the historic town of Richmond, Va, We are hosting a visit (at Capital Square here today at 330 pm), for Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth. A lot of it is ,that Jamestown and Williamsburg is celebrating 400 years since the colonies started (1607), So its a big huge deal for the State and for her stop in Richmond, she will have awalkabout on the grounds of the State Capital, and a visit to the General Assembly, Then a dinner , etc etc.
I personally have no plans to try to go downtown and see her, but there are crowds there.
The weather is bizaare, Yesterday we had a record hot for May 2nd at 93 degrees! It was so hot, Then last evening a noreaster blew in and temps dropped by 30 degrees, We had hail and heavy rains and lightning storms and all that..
I guess with an event like this you can only hope the weather cooperates.. After today she heads to the Kentucky Derby, then flies home Tues, So Clare (U.K.) if you are reading this, did you know the QUEEN was visiting us??
Okay so on to other normal events.. I am taking a mental health day from work tonight seeing as I am preparing for a hiatus to St Pete BeachFlorida. This is my DH and my annual Florida trip . We will be driving together and plan to spend a night half way in Ga.
My mother is doing well, she has finally allowed me to get her to a Foundation Store and buy her a breast prosthesis and new bras that support it. I also took her shopping and bought her new shoes, and to a jewelry store to size a ring that my father had given her. She has lost so much weight, it was so big , she couldnt wear it. I am going to be out of town on her birthday , May 7th, so I got the shopping in early and I will be home for mother's day.
I have a sore throat and a bit of a cold and know I got it from DH, He just got over one. So maybe the mental health day is for the throat too.
Okay kids have a good rest of the week. Be sweet and be good to yourselves. Love ya all. Linda
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Can I give you all this? |
04-22-2007 - 05:55 PM |
Listen I appreciate the posts re my last entry... You are all the best, and you know you mean so much to me.
I would like to share some really good news, A most wonderful thing took place Friday in my personal life even as the whole VT memorials took place all over the country,
You know I had been speaking of the task of having to
sell one of the homes my father owned. It had been rental property and the very day of his funeral, (Feb20th) the lady that rented it, came up to me at the gravesite and said, Linda call me , I have something to tell you,
I did call her two days later, to find out she was moving out and the house would be available, This was great because we had to previously wait till June to honor the contract,
So after much thought , I hired a realtor and signed a contract to list the property on Thurs at noon. This realtor had been recommended by my sister(that lives in ILL)
So , I woke up Fri afternoon(I had worked all nite thurs) and saw the answering machine blinking I had a message. So It was the realtor, I had a contract , and it was signed and the buyer gave me (almost asking price in cash!!!!
So I am so thrilled at the speed of this ! 24 hrs!!
The realtor had said a prayer with me on Thurs before she left my home and I guess we had an answer,
I went and put more flowers on my Daddys grave and kind of told him about the house, because I felt he would be happy with it now, I couldnt do it when he was alive, He wanted us to keep renting it and we just never argued about it with him.
I am blown away at how smooth it went , almost too good to be true.. Thank God.
And on closing , I went to a local famers market here where the specialty is fresh strawberries and hanging baskets of flowers, The berries were red and ripe and juicy, I got two baskets. The butterflies were abundant and I just smiled at that. Gail was smiling at me too.
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Hokie Hope Day |
04-20-2007 - 09:45 PM |
The entire State wore Maroon and Orange. There was a moment of silence at 12 noon. The ceremonies and memorial services around here are everyday.
I had to work last night and this am when the day shift nurses and Dr.s came in, they all had the Hokie colors on.
Every other car that passed me had the VT flag flying, and balloons and streamers.
They let 32 orange and maroon balloons go at the campus today, and rang a bell as each name was called.
They will be presenting Posthumous Degrees to those that were about to recieve them.
The kinship and sense of community has really been strong all around here.
I would love to hear from any of you as what you saw in memory today in your states or even country.
I am humbled by the e mails and Pm's sent to me and it means so much.
Well, goodnight for now . Love Linda
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See if you can try this for me |
04-18-2007 - 04:27 PM |
http://www.vikkilynne.com/HokieHope/
The above is a url address to a an announcement re. the Hokie Hope. I am grateful for Mz V 's help here, she created the webpage to allow me to post the link.So, thanks Vikki!!!!It will not open here, but
You can also try going to my profile page here and click on the link there.. Just click on my name and then on my homepage and view the link.
I am touched by all of the PM's and other e mails relating to the horrible tradegy at our beautiful Va Tech. It is still so surreal and we lost 2 students that lived here in my hometown, Richmond. There are memorial services being held this weekend, and you know these families still have not been given the bodies back yet. THAT to me makes no sense..
But somehow, my problems and little woes seem so infinitely tiny anymore. Thanks you all.. Love Linda
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Added two new pics |
04-17-2007 - 11:25 AM |
See the photo gallery, I put up a picture of the VT symbol and one of my niece Crystal, and her baby Hannah taken at a Virginia Tech football game tailgate last fall/
The Virginia Tech family is a close knit and devoted group of fans especially at the football games.
I tried to make the symbol of the VT with black ribbon my new avatar but it was too large .
Contact me via PM here or email me to get more info to links. I will share whatever I can with you all.
Love Linda
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Help us Support Virginia Tech |
04-17-2007 - 10:34 AM |
From: Crystal England
Date: 4/17/2007 11:49:02 AM
To: Linda Ashby;
Subject: Fw: Support our VT Family! Pass on-
Wear your orange and maroon. Hokies and all! It is unbelievable up here in the Hokie land, on so many levels.
The following was sent by one of the VT-Rescue Squad's life members. Joe and I met at the rescue squad and they are near and dear to our hearts. They did a GREAT job yesterday, under these awful circumstances. I cannot imagine the scene in which they had to work.
Please feel free to contact me for info. on ways to help support this wonderful squad. All local squads did an amazing job yesterday, especially supporting ours. We are so proud of them all!
Please pray for the families, students, faculty, victims, and survivors of this tragic event.
With love,
Crystal
Pass on this symbol, post it where you can and remember our fallen hokies who lost their lives tragically today!
Together we will unite in a way that only Hokies can do- through that strength we will mourn this day- look for a brighter tomorrow and inspire the country in our bond!
Orange and Maroon forever!
Ross D. Vierra
VA TECH 2000
Hometown: Virginia Beach
757-470-2068
THe above is a copy of an e mail I received from my niece, Her name is Crystal and her husband is Joe. They live near the VT campus and are refering to the rescue squad , at VT where she and him met while going to college a few years go , there.
If anyone needs the best knowlede link to any of the VT sites. But if you know anyone that owns maroon and orange, wear the colors on behalf of the college and its class members ,
Th symbol is not going thru but is a VT logo with a black ribbon tied around it.
Such a sad day , Thanks for your prayers. Linda
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Virginia Tech TRAGIC |
04-16-2007 - 10:35 AM |
I am so in shock I cannot even tell you how horrific this news is. This just blows my mind,
By now you have all seen the news and the word of the shootings on campus of Va Tech here in Va , 22 dead.
This is in Blacksburg, Va. My niece and her husband attended Tech and married and stayed in Blacksburg. They have a home and a baby. The first shooting occured at my niece's previous dormitiry, Ambler Johnston Hall,,
Its just TOO hard to believe that this is happening . Oh God I feel so sad and so deeply grieved for the parents of those kids there. How unreal , How tragic and it is just, I just do not know it is so crazy this world is, Oh God
You all please pray for the families and the students and for this country .
God have Mercy on the insane twisted person or persons that did this unspeakable event..\
I cannot say any more.
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Sunday Rain and other stuff |
04-15-2007 - 01:01 PM |
We are being slammed with good soaking rains here. Great for the grass, and flowers, wasnt fun sloshing thru it this morning.
I decided to get dressed and attend the memorial service held at the campus in the chapel for the alumni of University of Richmond, This would have been my fathers 55th college reunion, as he attended U of R and , so I had decided to go and see if I could meet some of the old grads,, The campus is close to where my parents still live, OOps I mean my mother still lives Gosh I keep doing that..
But the parking was a nightmare, I had on dress slacks and sandals and a raincoat and umbrella and then was carrying an 8x10 framed photo of Daddy, in case any of his classmates would recognize the photo.So, I hiked thru the puddles in puring rain for about 4 blocks and entered the chapel, I shook off my umbrella and hung up the coat in the entry way, and went inside to sit. I looked around and there were at most 20 people there, My guess is the rain kept them away, I mean after all these would be 80 yr olds....
They held the service and we sang hyms and listened to a sermon, then a talk about alumni, and music and more hymns, finally we were asked to turn around and step across aisles and greet others and introduce myself. So I did this and then my heart sank as I realized every single one of these people were from the Class of 1957,, Not one single person was from 1952, not one single person knew of my father or who the heck I was, I suddenly felt so empty...
I left.
Tonight we take my family out for an Italian meal at Carraba's . I love the hot bread and caesar salads,,
Weight loss is my latest NOT happening. I end up eating out more than not and right now I do not care.
Tomorrow is another week a new start. Monday.. so I am going to just enjoy this day.
Blessings to you all. Linda
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My entry for Tues |
04-10-2007 - 06:56 AM |
My , but what crazy weather we have had, huh? Its hot and sunny one minute, then freezing.. Guess it is one of those things we have no control over.
My Easter weekend was spent 24 hours at the hospital, (my job, not as a patient)/ My weekend committment is two 12 hr shifts every third weekend, and it happened to fall on Easter.
I took an Easter Lilly over to My mothers house the day before, and she liked that. I did not make anyone an Easter basket this yr..
Well, yesterday I stayed stuck the entire day working on my parents taxes. I had to go thru each bank statement and add all the money we spent all yr on caregivers and the meds and the other expenses. I have a CPA that my father always used, and now its so late, I am sure he will have to request an extension.. You know the deadline ths year is April 17th. since the 15th is a Sunday!
My DH does our taxes online and those are easy, but with my Daddy's retirement and his paying estimated taxes it gets a little convoluted for me.
The other big thing I have to address is, the rental property, The second home my parents owned and deeded to my sister and I, is now vacant. The couple that rented it for 18 years left March 31st, so I am getting ready to put it on the market. It is a slow market still, here, but this is a small and old home (built in 1953), It was my parents first home after they married. and they just kept it and rented it out for years. I am not interested in being a landlord .. So
anyone wanna buy acute little home, here?? Let me know..
Days keep passing, and time should heal my heart, but I can say ,it has not occurred just yet. I miss my dear adorable father more than I can possibly describe. He just was a great Daddy and a lovely person to all who knew him.. I know this will take time. It okay....
I am going to empty out my closet this afternoon and donate some clothes. I have a mess in there. I have a big walk-in closet and that creates a spot where it is easy to stuff items in a pinch to get them out of the way when you have company or whatnot.. So now its time to hunker down and declutter..
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Safe and Sound, Home again |
04-05-2007 - 11:09 AM |
Thanks you all for the nice words. Mei, you asked what happens to the people? Well the funny thing is for some reason I had the airline call my cell phone to give me the status well in to the morning. I had never ever done that before. I saved my self a huge headache because most people just go ahead and show up and asume their flight will be on time and all, well, since I knew early that day it was cancelled , I just called the Airlines from DD's apartment and they put me on the next flight which left at 2:15 pm. That gave me several more hrs in Chicago, but I was so glad it wasnt spent hanging around O hare ..
I had packed up and showered very early so what I did was wait for DD and her roommie to get up, and we walked out and had a nice lunch, and returned in plenty of time to get to the airport..
Tonight I have to work my normal 12 hr shift, Then I will sleep Fri and work two 12 hr dayshifts over the Easter Weekend. I spent all evening last pm with my mother. DH and I took her out for a steak and had a very nice visit. I wish I could get her to get out more. She has done very well since Daddy passed away nearly 7 weeks now, The grief process for her seems normal.
The hard part is when she asks me things like , "Linda , do you think Daddy can see me?" I say yes, I do, but truth is do we truly know???????? I have not felt his soul so much in any form as I did with my sister as a butterfly, yet. My younger sister says she keeps running into pennies, You know, just random pennies everywhere and she thinks its "pennies from heaven" and Daddy is doing that. Personally I just am listening and watching to see if he shows up. I hope I do not come across as weird or twilight zone-ish. but I do feel that ones soul can remain very much around us , here on earth in many ways and forms. I think its only a matter of time I will feel my father close by again.
On a lighter note, I went to the Y today and did 45 min treadmill followed by the weights circuit. It felt great, and I hope to keep it up.. I ate so much in Chicago, This visit was all new places and they were all good. But I also did desserts and too much wine with those meals.
It is impossible to be there and not eat well.
The Museum on Body Works was good. I actually learned alot of new stuff.. If anyone gets this show to come to your town, go see it , its hard to describe.
I am going now to get my house in shape, The dust bunnies are makin babies under the furniture in my living room .. Take care all. Special prayer out to you, News for the services for Gm today/.. Linda
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Grounded |
04-03-2007 - 07:31 AM |
Woke up at 5 am here to start packing, I got a call from the Airline. (I had requested a courtesy call) to inform me my flight is cancelled. There is a severe nasty thunderstorm approaching the Chicago area with hail and heavy rain, winds , all that.
I called th airlines and they booked me on alter flight at 2pm, but according to the weather I just saw it will be bad all day and into pm.
I just woke my DD and her roommate up, they went back to sleep, and I am so worried about having to stay a day more. only cuz I had plans to be with my mother tomorrow evening, My husband had gotten a ride to take my car to the airport in Richmond for me and have it waiting since he was supposed to be at work when I arrived, Now I will have to wait and see..
I enjoyed chatting via phone with Sue! (Sisterof3) Did not have the opportunity to meet. But as I told her , I will be back here.
I am going to watch this storm approaching out this window and I suppose that I should feel grateful to be safe and warm here...
Will keep ya posted.
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I am the Early Bird |
04-02-2007 - 05:58 AM |
Waiting for my DD and her roommate to wake up!. I am up with the cat, Sassy. Listening to the" L" rumbling by for nearly rush hour.
Yesterday I truly learned what it means to be in the WINDY city. It was too funny, We got up and they wanted to take me to brunch, so we got all dressed and I fixed my hair and even applied a spritz of finishing spray.. You know I wanted to look nice and all that. HA!!!! That wind took my hair and whipped it into a tangled mess of !!!! We took a bottle of champagne and went to a little cafe where you can bring your own bottle . We made mimosas. and let me say, the food was amazing. Like I say all the time coming here ,its all about the food/ That is why slacks with some elastic fit are my friend.
This place had an item they called fruishi. (rhymes with sushi). And they take fresh steamed rice and infuse it with fruit juice like orange, bluberry or strawberry, Then they roll that up around tiny strips of fresh fruits like melon, pineapple and banana, and it looks like sushi, and is fruit!! I had whole wheat pancakes with warm cinnamon bun sugar and crushed pecans , OH MY..
DD had eggs benedict and her roommate had a item called green ham n eggs which I thought was odd looking , but the eggs were green from pesto!
Today we have tickets for an exhibit at a museum called Body World 2.. Its a display of anatomy of the human body thru a process called plastication, and uses
actual bodies that have been processed and appear exactly as they would in various ways to learn of its physiology and anatomy.. I saw this in Tampa last year, and this is a new show. It is well done. My dd's roommate is a graduate of an Art Institute here, and had many classes on the human form, She has seen it twice and so we all decided to do that today. I am also hoping to hear from Sister of 3, SUE!!!! Its a chance we can seee ach other, at least for a bit.
Okay I am gonna finish this cup of java and hop in the shower. Have a great Monday ladies!!
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I am in Chicago Now |
04-01-2007 - 09:06 AM |
Hi again. What a culture shock going from the mountains of NC to the big city here. I truly didnt intend for the two trips to be so close , but this trip is for the good quality visit I so need with DD.
Oh I almost forgot to add, I won the drawing here (at HS )for a cute apron with a picture of a crown on it and it says, "YES Your Highness". I will send a pic of it when I get back
Oh and I am going to see if I can meet up with Sue (Sisterof3) while here. so.......
Happy weekend and dont get APRIL FOOLED by anyone!!
Love Linda
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GREETINGS FROM NC |
03-26-2007 - 04:02 PM |
Hi ya'll!! Well I am telling you my accent will be so much more southern when I get home!. I am in Mt Airy, NC, Near Pilot Mtn, in the lush beautiful montains,
This is for babysitting for two of the grandkids. My stepson ahs two kids and he and his wife went on a business trip. So here I am.. I will be here three day , return home Wed, then work Thurs night and sleep Fri. and on Sat am I finally fly to Chicago. I am gonna look up Sisterof3 when there!
BUT wait till you here my news, this is so very very insane and unlike me.. I just traded in a 2003 Chevy Impala that was paid for and no payments for a Gently used 2004 Mercedes Benz Coup.. I know I have lost my mind. I just had a post hormone midlife crisis blond moment, plus I kind of figured I dammm well desreved to finally do something for me!! Anyway, I bought it here today and they took my Chevy as a trade in and I cannot wait to drive it home!!
This is so out of my comfort zone and so inlike me, I have never owned a luxury car and I always knew that by the time I turned 50, it would be that or a face lift.
Well turns out a car is much safer!!
I wanted to share that with ya !! Take care , gotta run feed these kidddies.. Linda
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Time goes on |
03-20-2007 - 05:38 AM |
Just staying busy is the only way I keep grounded. If I allow myself time to shut down, I feel my mind wander, then race. I am in a process of right now taking care of the business and that in itself has been an ordeal.
There is no estate to probate thats the good news. My parents had signed the property of both homes to my sister and I, We have had our names as title owners to the homes for almost 7 years now.
The reason was we saw what happens when you have to try to fund a relative in to a Nursing Home, you cannot get assistance for Medicaid till you liquidate their assests, and they see ones home as an asset! Thats the nasty little secret truth of our federal government. The really indigent folks that own nothing get taken care of , The folks that work all their life and pay off a home you know the good old American Dream? They have to sell and spend down that asset!! It makes me just insane. Its messed up.
So... anyway since the homes are my sister's and mine, there is NO estate. Daddy did have a will,and he named my mother as executer since it was was written back in 1984. She could have handled stuff then, But since I have sole power of attorney over her, and can sign for her, I now am the take care of all of it person.
I wish I had a brother, It was always just us three sisters. I am the middle child, or now I guess since Gail died in 2005, I am the oldest>> and my younger sis lives several states away (Illinois) that makes it my deal and mine alone.
I honestly have been pretty daggone miffed by her , I might add, I have not talked to her in over a week, and she e mails me and we practically have to set up an appointment to talk on the phone!
Yesterday I had to sit two hours in DMV to sign the car my parents have into my name, as my mother does not drive. So thats done, then I filled in more paperwork for my mothers share of Daddy's retirement.
I went to the cemetary and placed bright yellow jonquils on his grave. Mother was asked ,did she want to go, she did not.
I am going to be glad when this part of my life gets better. I am off for a shower now,, Linda
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Long shift, long day |
03-17-2007 - 08:09 PM |
I just got in after working 12 hours today, then ran by my mothers as I always do every Sat, to refill her medicine cassette for the upcoming week.
I am still paying for CNA's to basically be there and be a companion for her.
My mother is going thru a phase of grief now, where she will call me and is cryiing and says I dont have anything to live for. This , of course kills me, and I do not know what to say to her. She is grieving My father deeply, now, and I am so afraid of her just giving in and giving up and dying in a short while herself, due to the heartache. I cannot imagine her feeling
God help me to know how to handle this one.
I am getting ready to start preparing all the stuff for taxes, I wish I had a magic wand, I do.
DH has taken on a full time job. He starts in two weeks. I am sort of mixed about that. He had retired early last year at age 59, and now we know he needs to work a bit more.
I have to be back at work in the morning and work another 12 hr shift, Then I am off 4 days till Thursday Night!!
This is insane weather here, you all know that? Its freezing again just days after we got into the 80's..
I love summer and the sun and the beach and the lakes and any place where I can soak up the rays and stare at the water. I am ready!!
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Think Happy Thoughts |
03-16-2007 - 04:08 PM |
The title was News's last line in her last entry, before her biopsies. What a great thought, it says alot to me of her character. I wish her well and hope we hear something good soon.
Well , I have recovered from the illness that was in and around my home. DH finally got thru his as well.
Today he had to pick up one of the grandkids from school for his daughter. Rylee had a fever of 102.Her flu swab came back positive, so evidently the flu is here.
I got a flu shot couple of months ago, but when I got back home from all my running around I sprayed Lysol every surface .. supposedly kills influenza virus.
This weekend marks one month since I had to say goodbye to Daddy. His online obituary will remain online for a few more days. Its been so endearing to read the entries from all that have written, I wish that everyone I know could have met my Daddy. Gosh you all he was just the most amazing person I have ever met.
He was born against huge odds, in my grandmothers bed in 1926 at nearly 6 months gestation, weighed about 2 lbs . My grandmother could slip her wedding band around his tiny foot to the ankle. He had a muscle spasticity in his legs and couldnt walk till almost 3 years old. He endured countless surgeries as a young boy and was sent off to Baltimore to what is now John Hopkins for surgery, My grandparents had to stay here. My father did well in school , entered college graduated, and had a long succesful career in Insurance . He made good money and he was too generous, giving away hundreds of thosuands to my sister before her death, He tried so hard to save her and her family from losing it all. He never once complained when he started losing the money. He just kept giving and gave till nearly the end. He had such a wonderful wit and humor and ability to always see the positive in every single situation. He had sayings that he taught us and his grandkids, and we all loved him so much. He stuck by my mother during her rough period with Bipolar disorder known in those days as Manic Depression. Many men would have left , would have quit, would have walked, Not my father. he stayed and he was faithful and diligent. I will remain that way in his memory for my mother. I will take care of her, as I promised him.
So I am done, I was just rambling, guess its part of my way of dealing with my sadness and grief........
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Finally feel almost 100 percent |
03-13-2007 - 06:16 PM |
Last week and even on into this week, the G.I. bug remained persistently taking turns with DH and I.
I am so glad that today I was able to eat normal, and to get to the gym. I had been doing so good with working out, then I was kicked back and stuck during my father's death and all that went along with it, like the funeral, the visits , the out of town guests, etc etc.
So just when I started to try to get a little normalcy, in comes the virus.
I did manage to go to the fabric store yesterday, bought 20 yds of fabric to recover 12 cushions and 6 throw pillows , of my mothers' Florida Room furniture.
It is wicker framework and the cushions had not been changed since 1981, when my parents had the Florida Room added.The room has windows all around all 4 walls, and the sun really faded the fabric.
My DH's sister is a professional seamstress and will do it for me as I can not, My sewing skill is zero. I can hem a pair of slacks with iron on bonding tape, and I can sew a missing button on, but to make anything , OH NO!!
Tomorrow, I will meet a banker guy to settle and invest money from my fathers estate. The fun has begun.....
I am getting ready to put one of my parents homes on the market. It had been rented out for years,and the tenants are leaving end of March, buying a house, I do not want to deal with being a landlord.. So it is something I have to do.
My darling Daddy was just too kind, he was not getting enough rent , It was a shame.He was asking for about half what he should have for years..
I am counting the days till I fly to Chicago, and spend about 4 days hanging out with my daughter. It will be the most relaxed trip I have been on in a couple of years.
We will have such a blast, as always when I go. Its a town filled with energy and culture, food and shows and always something to do. I wish I had tickets to see the Oprah show, Its close to impossible to get them.
I plan to eat at Baba Reeba's Tapas . Its an entire evening of delicious hot yummy Tapas, (small bites of lots of foods), The white sangria is awesome, and the
crowd diverse and energetic. I always ask Lauren if we can go back there!
Hugs and Happiness everyone. Linda
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Norovirus ITS BAD |
03-07-2007 - 04:44 PM |
I know because I am finishing up a 24 hr bout of this nasty, gut wrenching viral enterotitis.
I was fine yesterday morning. I was on the telephone talking long distance with my sister, in Illinois We had been working on th Thank You notes for the sympathies shown two weeks ago when My Daddy died. Having a good conversation, in fact when all of a sudden I said, Golly I feel nauseated,. That was at 1pm, By 5pm I was doubled over in pain, vomiting, which was severe and led to more vomiting then diarrhea which came all night in 2 hour increments . I swear I thought i was going to die. My DH called the Dr and said to try ice chips only and to try a Phenergan pill which I had here from a previous surgery. I tried that and could not keep thatdown. I am telling you. It was sheer misery,
I am sure alot of you have heard of this norovirus, Its the same type of outbreak alot of schools, nursing homes and even the cruise ships have had. I am positive of where I picked it up, We have had several patients
on the unit where I work at the hospital, with the symptoms. We use strict handwashing and even wear isolation gowns and masks, gloves to be safe but somehow I still got the bug..
I just want to say I would not wish that on the meanest enemy in the world.
PS I lost 6 lbs In these two days but wouldnt recommend it as a diet! Take care and please wash your hands well,, I hope nobody gets this bug.. Love ya Linda
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Friday, so big deal |
03-02-2007 - 08:07 PM |
Its always kind of a waste of a day off the day after worki ng all night. I worked last night, got in at 8 30 am and crashed, hard , I sleep during the day in a back bedroom which is further away from the noise of the road. My DH puts a dark velour blanket over the window, and I have a noismaker on and he is so cute, he has it all set up and says your cave is ready!
I have been back at the gym this week, since the past week , for obvious reasons I have not worked out.
I booked a flight to Chicago for the first of April. I am going alone to see my daughter. Her spring break is that week, from school. This will be a wonderful long overdue Mom/Daughter visit, I have not been to see her in a while. She flew home for Daddys funeral, but that was not the same.
This will be my first trip out of town where I will not be obsessing and worryin over my Daddy. I will be able to truly enjoy it. My mother is doing well. She is well emotionally, but since her mastectomy 7 weeks ago she has had to keep going to the Dr for draining by needle of fluid, I am baffled and will go with her next week, as the past week I had her CNA go,
I will need to focus more on her now,
I am tired, I am signing off. Linda
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Hello , its me.. |
02-26-2007 - 01:36 PM |
Once again, I have been just absolutely blown away by the kindness of you ladies, most of you which I have never even seen a picture of. I feel like a gal that has a ton of girlfriends in all of you.
The comments left at my father's online obituary and the words thru PM here and in emails as well as the calls and cards in the mail, MY gosh, I am truly truly blessed by it all.
I had to go back to work yesterday and it was tough mainly because of the nature of my work, I am a nurse , so simply put, I take care of people. I am a caregiver by nature, I know this.
My younger sister tells me my purpose on the earth was being selected by God to be in my role for my father. I dont know about all that. I wanted to be a nurse as little as 6 years old.
I do know that my father knew without a tiny doubt that I adored him. Those last months I was so present I probably got on his nerves, and my mother!
The days before his death last Sunday were just amazing. I got some of the grandkids and others to come sit with me at his bedside and he couldnt speak the final day but those eyes sure flickered in response to our voice and our touch. For the past week I would lean over and whisper into his ear things like "you were such a wonderful Daddy" and I would hold his hand and rub his little puppy -like head, God knows I loved that man! And I know in my heart, my Daddy knew. I am proud to have been his daughter, I know he is in heaven with my sister now and he has no pain. so in that I am rejoicing.
I just want you each to know what your words mean to me, Thanks..
Love Linda
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Just sharing ,( Warning) funeral talk |
02-23-2007 - 02:53 PM |
I only put a warning just in case there is one who may be too sensitive to the subject of the death of a loved on.
As you all know, by now, I lost my sweet father, the best Dad a girl could have had, my friend, my advisor, my guardian, my angel on earth.
I truly did adore him. My heart is so sad and so heavy today, yet I am so relieved , too, because he is no lomger suffering and in pain and at the mercy of someone to feed and dress him and bring his medicines and rub his legs when they cramped and his back,. and change his linens and push him about the yard in his wheelchair. He slipped quietly away at about 430 am Sun Feb 18th. I was there till midnight that night, someone asked me if I was there with him, no I had called his grandaughter, my neice in from out of town Sat morning, I had called my son and another granddaughter too that live close /
My mother saw him Sat as he leaned up to her and gave her a kiss, He then asked for me and spoke to me over the phone asking me what my plans where that night. I told him I will be there with you, I got there at 2pm and stayed till midnight. We all saw him and got to whisper we loved him in his ear and to say its okay to let go, It is okay to go now. and then we went home as I had to put out of town guest up at my house. I hired a private sitter that night for his bedside simply because I did not want him to be alone. I had Annie the sweet night shift CNA that has been taking care of him at home for 6 months now.
When I was awaked at 430 am by the hospital nurse and she told me he just died, I cried only a liottle then I asked if Annie was still there and she got her to the phone, Annie said he just slipped away quietly
The funereal was Wed. The most beautiful amazing thing, The weather warmed from the normal Feb temp of 35-45 to 65 degrees!! It was beautiful and sunny, Nobody had to wear a coat.
I am guestimating there were close to 250 people there and the service was so wonderful. At the end I had the minister play a short clip on a CD of my father singing which I had recorde almost 3 weeks ago. he loved to sing and he sand to all the ladies over the phone for years. What a man, he was so special.
I posted the link to the obituary and it has some photos in the album all online if anyone wants to sign his guest book Thanks Tulipp by the way!!
I just am going now to nap and wanted you all to know I am okay. I know he is in a better place!!
My sister and her family and my daughter have all flown back to Illinois and its still just me, but my mother is doing amazing now and its all I could hope for.
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(This entry has 10 member comments.)
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My Saddest Day I have Ever had. |
02-19-2007 - 07:51 PM |
Well, I got the dreaded call at 4 a.m. Sun Feb 18th, My father, my sweet angel Daddy has left us, here, for a much better level of life, I am certain.
The past 48 hrs have been a whirlwind, and the next 3 days we have family flying in, and the viewing, then funeral, and all that goes along with it.
I am hollow, and drained, I am sad and yet happy for the relief of his pain. I have not allowed myself to grieve yet. I am going fast forward and hope I make it thru, I will be okay,
I just wanted you , my dear friends to know that it has happened, and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart, for the supportive comments, the P/M's and Melanie you are a great buddie, the calls and e mails are so helpful!
I have tried and cannot figure out how to get the link to his obituary here, but if you go to the Richmond Times Website (our newspaper here), and click on obituaries and select the obit for Feb 19th His name is James Richard Ashby, Jr. you an view it and see what a wonderful man he was, There is no way the words can do him justice. I was the luckiest girl in the world to have him as a Daddy!
I will be away for a few days but will be back, dont worry. Love you all, Linda
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(This entry has 14 member comments.)
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The waiting is the hardest part |
02-17-2007 - 08:06 AM |
Because basically, it is what we are all doing , sitting by his bedside, watching him struggle , watching his valiant attempts to open those baby blue eyes and speak and his very slow breathes. We sit and we watch him day and night and in between. It has been an eternity , these past 9 days,
My darling Daddy is dying . My mother , his wife of 53 years has accepted it , she says, and I have , I say, but have I?
I have been managing to still get my 24 hours of my job in all week, mainly because he is in the same hospital I work at, and I can run in and out, I have managed to get run down, and this morning awoke with a raw sore throat and feel like I have lead in my eyelids.
I know that my Daddy is dying and it will be a relief, yet it is the hardest thing I have ever had to endure in my entire life.
I pray for his passing to be soon , I do, I just cannot bear another day of this wait.
I am still in my nightgown, I am home alone, I am procrastinating even dressing and driving back over, as I wonder maybe he does not want me to see him go?
The Dr has him on sedatives and pain meds and has stopped his fluids and he does get food but cannot eat more than a tiny bite of thickened liquids, He aspirates even that. The nurses seem so busy they pop in and out but they know I am a nurse so I guess they figure I am in there handling this, but I want them to know I am NOT......
I am so sad and so tired and so ready for this part to end. I need prayers again, . Thanks you all.. Linda
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(This entry has 11 member comments.)
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More heartache |
02-11-2007 - 09:08 PM |
My heart wants to burst, and I am forced to be the energizer bunny and keep going amidst the stuff that unfolds on a daily basis that is called Life.
I lost my little angel furbaby kitty Tues. I barely went 24 hours and had just begun to try to process that, when I am awakened by the phone at 4 am Wed. It was my fathers night caregiver, Those that dont know my story may have to play catch up here. My father is a hospice patient with a sacral chordoma and lives in his home with my mother and both have caregivers pretty much around the clock.
He was having a bout of unrelentless pain in his abdomen and nothing was helping. I told the CNA to give the emergency liquid morphine and also an Ativan and call me back in an hour, She did both and she called me back now at 5am, No relief!! He was in agony. See when you are hospice you only can call Hospice not 911 , no rescue squads etc
So I got up, dressed and drove over and stayed up with him and then called Hospice and told them I needed him to be put in the hospital This took all day and by the time they got him in at 4pm on Thurs, he had developed severe muscle weakness in his legs and was a wreck. It took most of Thurs night to settle him in and it was with heavy meds.
Next day on Friday I went back to the hospital and found zero ,absoluetely not a drop of urine in his catheter collection bag. Now I knew he had not been given anything to drink and I knew he was sick but as a nurse I also knew your kidneys dont just shut down and stop overnight, The nurse that had him that day never questioned that, I had worked Thurs night and slept some FRi am before I arrived. So I made them call and get an order to remove and replace his catheter and when they did that, The floodgates opened , The old catheter had just been clogged or not up in the bladder , but in any event replacing it took care of the problem. It blew me away that a nurse coulkd be so blatantly negligent.. GOD help her if she takes care of my Daddy again. I was so upset, ya'll just dont know!!
So then all day Sat and Sun I kepta vigil by his bed and watched hijm stay in a deep sleep almost 24/7.
Finally this evening he awoke enough to eat a little soup and ice cream, but he could not keep his eyes open and he had shaky almost tremors in his hands.
My mother is crying allthe time, They have ben married for 53 yrs and its painful as anything to see that.. The Dr told me he doubted my Daddy woud leave the hospital this time.
I am so exhausted and life has to go on, I have to work I have to atke my mother back to the DR for the fifth visit since her mastectomy,m She has had to have it drained and my gosh thats getting to be old..
My DH has a horrid cold this weekend and stayed in bed , and I am going to bed now myself and wait for the sun to come up tomorrow and hope things will be better,,
I am reading your journals and want to respond and will when I can be settled again. Once again I thank you all for the kind and loving words when I shared my story about my litle kitty, It means a lot, you all know that?? Nite.. Linda
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(This entry has 10 member comments.)
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I am sad today |
02-07-2007 - 06:07 AM |
I lost my precious kitty, Snuffy, Had this little angel 17 years. She died yesterday about 5pm at the Vet's after having a minor surgery and went into cardiac arrest. Those that have a pet and love them know what I am feeling, The cold people at my job sure did not get it., I tried to get off last evening and nobody would work for me. I know they were thinking ,Oh okay her cat died, big deal.
I am sad and empty and yes it is a big deal, to me.
The hardest part will be calling my daughter in Chicago to tell her, This was her childhood pet since she was about 10 years old,, I had called her yesterday when everything was fine and as soon as we hung up the phone, the vet called back to tell me my kitty had crashed and was intubated. I rushed over and she was gone. I am sad beyond words.
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(This entry has 12 member comments.)
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Goodbye to January |
01-31-2007 - 06:24 AM |
I just have to say, I do not like cold, I long for teeshirt and shorts weather.
NoniO, to answer your question, No I have not been to The Great Wolf Lodge, It is about an hour away and in Williamsburg. I think its geared more for families with kids.
Well, the tea lunch was just a fun thing Mel and I did. There were more cute pics to post but I dint wana go too crazy or seem boastful
I am not in any way a pretentious person, nor do I go to teas or even do teas. whatever, It was what made that so much fun, We had alot of laughs pretending we were some high society snooty patooty types,
Well anyway, glad I could share those pics to some of ya!
Parents are hanging in there. Lately though my father wants to talk about funerals (his) and what music he wants and who he wants for his pallbearers. I let him, but it is not a topic I like to engage him in.
My mother has had to return to her Dr three times since surgery. I took her Monday and they drained a seroma( a fluid pocket) of 320 cc's, which is the bad news, mother than that she does well.
I am trying to get all my papers together for tax time, I have to do my parents and there is aton of stuff to go thru. I am not a math type. I will use the CPA my father always had.It gets complicated with his retirement and other things ..
I am going to have to cut back on the hours the CNA's come. Its ben a month since I spent an entire night and its very expensive to pay round the clock.
I hope all of you , my online journal buds are well, and that you are having a great New Year!
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(This entry has 7 member comments.)
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Check out the new pics I posted (High Tea) |
01-29-2007 - 09:08 PM |
Melanie (Puggie here) and I celebrated our one year hyster anniversary last week, and on Saturday met and went to a B/B type little place that serves High Tea, We were the only ones in the room on Sat and we cut up and giggled and pretended we were little Country club Debutaunts and all the preppy talk. We acted like two kids playing dress up, The food was lots of little bites and of course hot teas poured from a china pot. So much fun.
The pictures will be there probably tomorrow, pending approval.
I will write more later. Tired and going to bed!! Linda
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(This entry has 4 member comments.)
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My One yr Hyster Anniversary!! Today! |
01-24-2007 - 06:34 AM |
I want to say mainly I have No regrets for my TAH and the year has passed so fast!! I have lost almost all the swelly belly , and I enjoy my intimate life more than ever.
To have 12 months with no period has been heaven on earth!
My mother finally got those drains and the staples
removed from the chest yesterday, it was 2 weeks since the mastectomy.
Some of the top layer of skin at the staple site was not healing correctly and she has some redness so The Dr put her on antibiotic, The Augmentin is huge , looks like a horse pill!
Last night my father's CNA called and said he was extremely agitated and screamed at her, giving her a headache, and she may go. This was at 6pm, So we talked and I tried to smooth things over, then at 1115 pm, the same CNA callls me as I was about to get into bed and aksed Who relieves me? (I have 2 different ladies for the night time shift (11pm till 7 am).. So I called Heather the one that was late and she answered her cell as she pulled into my parents driveway.
I was greatly relieved, as if not I was going to have to dress and go over..
I think my father needs some med changes and hope to address that with his Hospice Nurse today. He is already so confused and so pitiful. He has sort of taken aback burner for a week or so, as my focus sure shifted on my mother.
Now I have to figure out if I want to add Tamoxifen to mother, I need to find out more about its side effects. Anyone taken that??
I am going now . I will go to the gym and then see my mother to change her dressing and check on things.
Love you all and be back later!
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(This entry has 4 member comments.)
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Monday |
01-22-2007 - 07:35 AM |
Typical gray chilly January around here, We had a small ice storm last pm, and cars went sliding all about on bridges, I live on one side of the James River and my parents are on the other. I had parent duty last evening , so DH went with me. We did slip a bit on the return drive across the bridge..
I made a large pot of homemade chicken and dumplings ( a southern comfort food) and took that for their dinner, We got there early to let the day CNA leave early, The weather report ended up being off, We never got the snow,
Of course today all our schools opened two hrs late..
Its always a little insider joke for Richmond , If they even mention flurry, everyone rushes out and buys toilet paper, bread and milk, Like they will be snowed in for days and must have those 3 items. We rarely get big snows here at all. I remember growing up, we sure did. We would go sledding at the country club which had fantastic slopes and hills on the golf course..
Today I am going to do treadmill at the Y,
Tomorrow I take my mother back to the Dr to finally have her staples and drains removed from the mastectomy she had two weeks ago.This is about time!!
Thanks for the sweet comments re. my butterfly story. Birky Lady you asked about a movie Dragonfly, No I have not seen that movie, I do remember the previews, and wondered if you had seen the movie Patch Adams(with Robin Williams)? There is a scene where the butterfly makes an appearance over the valley of a beautiful mountain, and it represented his girlfriend that had died. That was a poignant sweet story!
I am clebrating my one yr hysterversary on Wed, and then Sat I am going to have a lunch date with Melanie at a tea room, She is a hyster sister here and we met online and found we were one room apart at the same hospital ayr ago and a day apart!! I will get a picture of us and post it if she does not mind that..
All of you know how important your words are to me? Linda
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(This entry has 3 member comments.)
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My butterfly story |
01-20-2007 - 01:38 PM |
I have no explanation as to why I have not been journaling, just that when I would get here in front of this monitor, I tried to put words here, and they would not come. Then if I did write , I ended up deleting the darn entry. I know it is sort of defeating the whole point of journaling, which to me should be an open page free flowing let it all out sort of place.
So , if you want the story of whats been my latest , keep on readin
I took my mother early on the morn of Jan 9th to the hospital for her mastectomy, She had a large malignant mass which I discovered while helping her dress for bed late Nov. It was diagnosed after mammo, then biopsy in DEc. We all chose to wait till after the holidays and allow her to have a good Christmas as my sister and her family and my neices and nephew came ..
So as far as the actual surgery, my mother did amazingly well, She is 75 yrs old, and walks with a walker and lives with my father who is 80 yrs old and bedridden , and uses a wheelchair. He has Hospice Care and also we have round the clock caregivers now, since I was exhausting my self trying to juggle their care and my own life , job, family etc etc.
So the Dr calls me in the waiting room from the O.R. recovery area to tell me the cancer had already spread, and now he had to remove the sentinal and axillary lymph nodes under the right arm.
I stayed with her that day and evening and left to go crash at 11pm. That night after the anesthesia wore off she awoke and was alone in a private room and had NO memory of me being there, She started calling for Annie which is one of the CNA's we have at the house at night. She became agitated and confused and ripped her IV out and kicked the covers off and basically went a little Nuts!! I did not find this out till the next am at 7 when I awoke and called the nurse to check on her. Normally if a patient gets confused or acts out like that we would call a family member(I am a nurse at the same hopsital) but her nurse knew me and knew I was beat and knew my situation that I have with my fathers illness , etc etc, so she just did not call me!
My mother was fine the next day and night , she was kept an extra day due to too muvh drainage in her post op drains and she was released on Thurs, the 11th.
She has not one single time needed any thing for pain except Motrin, which is so amazing to me. I think the breast tissue is just mostly fatty and not thru muscle like with my TAH that hurt for weeks!
My mother is fine and we go back to see the Dr on Tues to finally remove the staples and drains.
I want to tell you a little neat experience I had about the butterfly. I have posted a picture on the photo gallery here to show you and illustrate this neat event!
For those of you that remember my early days of journalling last spring and even before, when my sister died I asked her and God for a sign that she had found her way to her heavenly home, and at that instant a butterfly fluttered down on to me from nowhere as I stood on the deck in my yard, I spoke of it at her service, and also my dtr was touched by a butterfly as she sat outside in a park the day before she flew in for the funeral from Chicago. She saw it and told me about it after she got home..
So for us, this visit by these butterflies represent the soul of my sister, I have since read and researched this and found it to be quite common and a centuries old belief.. So the butterfly became my avatar here and is a special token for me,
Now the story that includes the photo I posted. The picture was taken with my cell phone camera on the day of Tue Jan 9th in the hospital in the holding area , a small room where my mother and I waited her turn for surgery. THis image of this butterfly was revealed to me , as I got my mother inside and closed the door , it was in the grain of wood on the back side of that door.
I saw it and immediately gasped, I said Mama look at the door what do you see? She said Oh My, I see a buterfly. I then knew , my sister was there with us!
I also showed it to the minister who came to pray with her before the surgery and he saw it as well, He spoke at the outside memorial for my sister and guess what? the white butterfly came then,
I just want you all to know I am sharing some pretty personal and deep stuff now, But I believe in after life and I just know my sister is safe and warm and free.
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(This entry has 5 member comments.)
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May I borrow your ears and eyes?? |
01-08-2007 - 06:49 AM |
Just to share a little story of the way yesterday went. I had planned on being in my pjs and stayin in , and cleaning and just being in my own space for one day.
HUbby goes and invites his daughter and her two kids and her husband to come eat with us. I had already told him we were just going to have tacos and some fresh berries, No big deal. He and I have been married for 16 years, He KNOWS me by now . I have an issue with company coming on short notice, I felt rushed and to add to that had only bought enough food for DH and myself. So I made him go back to the grocery store and buy enough for all.. WE ended up getting in a big ugly fat fight that only simmered down minutes before the doorbell rang. I was forced to fake a smile and seem all happy when I was steaming and felt sad inside, as well as had to rush about finishing my housework in time. I never even made it into a shower. I ran a brush through my hair and slapped on gloss and powder.
It just was so unfair. I knew the far worse consequence would have been to try my new voice and just say NO, its not a good night to have company, but then Dh would have sulked around and would have kept saying Gosh its only family.. But like it or not that was not the point. Its hard to explain, I try so hard to get along with everyone , but I also treasure MY time and MY space and he sure forgot to acknowledge that.
Tomorrow I have asked him to please stay with me in the waiting room as my mother goes in for her Mastectomy. He said he will, but dont ya think I should not have even had to ask!??
Boy, I sure do feel better now, great to have a place to vent.. Take care,, Linda
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(This entry has 6 member comments.)
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