Hi Sue,
Have you gotten a definite diagnosis of Pudendal Nerve damage or is this something the Dr is thinking about?
A Pelvic Floor therapist can use myofacial relaxation techniques to help to relax the vaginal tissue. The technique is a bit embarassing but does not hurt. The therapist will insert a finger into the vagina, locate the area of tense tissue and then apply a gentle pressure until she feels the tissue begin to soften and relax. It takes quite a few treatments to notice a difference. Along with myofascial relaxation she can help with pelvic floor exercises to help decrease the tenseness of the muscles and hopefully relax the nerve.
A Pain Management specialist or Neurology consult would be helpful in diagnosis and treatment of Pudendal Nerve Damage.
Good luck.
Michelle