Hi and welcome!
First of all, let me say I'm sorry for all you've been through. It sounds like it's been a long road.
You are definitely doing the right thing by researching your options, and trying to get as much information as possible.
There are several types of hysterectomy, with slightly different hospital / recovery times. I had a TAH (Total Abdominal Hysterectomy), which means my uterus and cervix were removed through an abdominal incision, and I kept my ovaries. I was in the hospital for 4 days / 3 nights for this procedure.
In the time I have been on this site (almost 2 years!), I have seen a wide variety of hospital stays, but for abdominal incisions, mine seems about typical.
Women who have a vaginal hyst usually have slightly shorter hospital stays.
As far as recovery, this also varies greatly depending on type of surgery, individual health/fitness, etc. However, a good rule of thumb is 6-8 weeks off work, with VERY restricted activity. After the initial 6-8 weeks, FULL recovery usually takes 6 months to a year, again depending on the woman.
I was a little shocked when I was first told the length of recovery. I was 28 years old, in very good physical condition, and used to a VERY active lifestyle. I thought, surely the doctor was being overly cautious, and I would be fine long before she said I would. Wrong! She was right - it really did take me 6 weeks to feel I could go back to work (office job), and about 5 months to be back to my previous activity level.
The best advice I can give right now is to keep doing what you are doing - ask lots of questions, research all your options, and discuss thoroughly with your doctor. Make sure you are completely comfortable with whatever decision you make, and that it is the best decision for YOU! Good luck!