pre op little memory now that ime post op gives me a giggle

Hello ladies pre op and post op, all those who are going through the battle of the thought of what am i thinking doing this to myself and thinking maybe i shouldnt be doing this " should i or shouldnt i "lol,,,this went on for the 2 weeks pre op. and now today ime reminded of how even at my pre op appt that during the initial consult and going over all the steps and my medical history and concerns with the doc, that i was actually internally hoping the doc would tell me i wasnt a good candidate for a hysterectomy, lol. Even as i was talking with the doc just before surgery i was praying internally to God and asking him that if this is not His Will for me to talk with this doc and have her tell me that i will not be having this surgery, lol. I gave her everything i could think of with my medical history such as i have heart murmur and have periodontitis and IBS and so on, lol,,but she would just tell me they will help with all those issues such as give me antibiotic before surgery for the periodontitis and put leg massaging pads on my calves during surgery to keep blood pumping and flowing at regular flow and so on, lol...When i left that appt i shared with my friends how i tried to get out of it somehow, even with prayer and they had a very good laugh, cuz they knew how badly i needed this surgery. lol what a battle within, i sure tried lol..But so now here i am post op 20 days and yep thank God all went well during surgery and post op, just have normal concerns and symptoms like everyone else. Peace be with you all who are awaiting surgery and those are in recovery post op. God Bless you all