TVH: Just need to vent. . .

I am scheduled for a TVH on June 19th. This may change if they find my uterus has become more enlarged since my last appointment.

My problem right now is dealing with people who just don't get it. So many people think that because it is being done vaginally that recovery will be almost instantaneous. Common responses I have gotten are:
"Oh, you won't have an incision so you probably only need a week or two off work."
"You will be staying overnight at the hospital?! I thought that was a simple surgery."
Several people that have made such comments have been through c-sections and assume that since I'm not being "cut open" it won't be nearly as bad as what they went through.

I tend to hold things in and just upset myself when really what I want to say is, "no, they arent cutting me open, instead they are pretty much turning me inside out to remove a major organ from my body! But hey, I'm sure I'll be back to normal in no time."

No, there will not be a visible scar, but that does not mean it is not a major surgery.

Sorry for the emotional outburst. It's been a tough couple of months. I went in to the doctor for a yearly exam and to have a breast lump checked (been through that twice before). Within two weeks I had not one, but 3 lumps removed leaving scars on both breasts, and was scheduled for a hysterectomy. We all have different "battle wounds" and should feel empathy for eachother instead of trying to one-up their pain.

Thanks for listening.

Exactly! I had someone tell me (noting I've never had kids) that they are done having babies but she'd want to keep her womb or she'd feel less womanly. Gee thanks for that supportive comment.

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Originally Posted by 2Jackies Exactly! I had someone tell me (noting I've never had kids) that they are done having babies but she'd want to keep her womb or she'd feel less womanly. Gee thanks for that supportive comment.

I never got to have kids either and someone told me " well you wont have to suffer thru childbirth " grr thanks. My dad aid well you chose not to have children .. Seriously people don't think before they talk

I've also heard the "less of a woman" comment. Really??? There are so many more factors to being a woman. I feel being a woman is more about a loving and nurturing nature. There are many out there that can not fulfill that part of being a woman because of the pain and bleeding they suffer through. This surgery may take away their womb, but allow them to fulfill other roles of womanhood they have missed for so long.
Good luck to you!

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Originally Posted by bbcollins I've also heard the "less of a woman" comment. Really??? There are so many more factors to being a woman. I feel being a woman is more about a loving and nurturing nature. There are many out there that can not fulfill that part of being a woman because of the pain and bleeding they suffer through. This surgery may take away their womb, but allow them to fulfill other roles of womanhood they have missed for so long. Good luck to you!

Amen!

You can explain to them that a hysterctomy is a common surgery, but definitely not a simple one and that it removes an ORGAN from your body. That means the doctor has to carefully stitch up all of the incoming and outgoing blood supplies to and from the uterus. In adition to that, the top of the vagina is stitch closed and if you don't follow doctors orders, it can bust open and require emergency surgery to repair and then yet another 6 week recovery. That is the detailed explanation I had to give my mother-in-law because she didn't understand why I was cooking and cleaning with my 2 year old on my hip.

My sister & my Mom both had them & stated that them feeling like a woman was not affected at all after having their hysterectomies. Both have indicated that sex is even better now. My mother is 60 & my sister is 40. That not feeling like a woman thing was an old myth but I think its important to realize that we are doing whats best for us in the long run & it just includes having a darn hysterectomy. This wasnt part of our plan so people need to be quiet if they dont have anything nice to say...this isnt easy for us at all.

Hang in there I had mine via the 4 days ago & I'm not in pain but I'm extremely uncomfortable.

well i know what u mean i posted on my facebook for support and prayers and a good friend of my mom just commented on it saying that its not a major surgery that she took her sister to have one and in 3 hrs they was on the road back home and that now they do them outpatient so its not a major surgery hang in there mine is june 8th and so nervous i just want to be done with it and be on the recovery side of it all

I am having the same thing from my assistant manager, I have booked 6 weeks off, and she keeps saying, "oh, but surely you'll be fine after 3? You'll probably be back at work after 3 weeks right? It's keyhole, you'll be fine in no time". I've told her that although I am hoping for the best, I am prepared for it to be 6 weeks and she should too. Happily we have a new manager who has had the same surgery as me for that same thing, and she has been quite clear that I WILL be taking off what time I need. I work as a bank teller and my job involves a lot of standing, lifting trays of coin, bending and stretching, so i am in way keen to go back early and then do myself damage. On a lighter note, my favorite comment was from the office blonde, who asked, "so can you have babies after that operation?"

My male boss figured I would be off for 4-5 days! I am also having bladder repair (sling) at same time, and I can't imagine even thinking about work that soon!