TAH: Emotional/Mental Battle Today

I have TAH with both ovaries on Wednesday, May 30th and up until now I have been totally chill about the whole thing.

I called today hoping to find out what time my surgery was scheduled for, but they said I had to wait until May 29th at my pre-op visit...and my doctor's office is closed today.

I know the specific time doesn't really matter...but it really frustrates me to not know.

A month ago I had this mindset of all I wanted to accomplish and how things would go (total Type A), well, my body has been in full-on assault mode...worst period ever, pain and bleeding sporadically, fatigue, huge swollen belly and sex...well as much as I want to enjoy a few more great times before my post surgery sebatical...the pain makes it just tolerable, not enjoyable...poor hubby!

Then there is our families...I love them so much and so appreciate their concern, but my sister's family, in-laws & parents have all decided they need to see me before surgery...my husband and I laughed "what do they think they'll never see me again or something." To which we both stopped laughing...not too funny of a thought.

So instead of a relaxing weekend. We have something every waking minute until my surgery including a visit from the in-laws Sunday & Monday and my parents coming for my surgery Tuesday. Again love my family, but having company staying with us 3 days before surgery is just adding another layer of stress to the whole thing.

I am so determined to stay positive, but today is one of those days I have a knot in my belly and feel stress just emitting from my pores!

So I am going to just throw out some thoughts and hopefully cleanse some stress!...if not maybe I'll run a bath and just have a good cry and get it out of my system.

- Scared of what they'll find when they open me up
- Don't want the 20 lbs post hysterectomy gain (it has taken me the past 5 months to lose 18 lbs)
- Would love a nice, new sexy haircut, but think the ponytails will be nice while recovering
- Pedicure - I only get one or two a year, but now with knowing I probably can't have polish on for surgery...I really would love to have one/weird craving
- Craving tons of "should not eat" foods - stress cravings for sure
- Swollen stomach leaves me feeling today like a big, boggy roly-poly blob - will that go away after the surgery
- Hope my bi-polar non-medicated mother will not make this surgery all about her and cause drama at my house
- Waiting for biopsy results our 5 year old had last Friday...will also find these out May 29th - how will I take him to appts if he needs them (Hubby can, but I so like to be there when my kids are having health issues)
- Work - how willl they live without me Will this cause more instability in my job security long term
- Will this really take away all of the pain, etc
- Will I regret my decision as in will instant menopause make my life miserable
- Are there things I need to do that I will forget
- Can I still get everything done by Wednesday with all the company here
- What is this surgery going to do to our finances on top of our son's recent health issues.

Not too worried about the surgery details...just what they'll find and I have an awesome hubby, that although he is very stressed right now too is taking great care of me and will continue to do so.

Thanks for listening to my rant...now I can go back to my cup half full preparations.

You sound like me! Total type A personality and control freak. That was the scariest losing control. I was all the way up to updating my will thats how stressed I was. But everything worked out more than fine and I am so glad I did this. Maybe when company comes they can help you make some meals to freeze. I was worried about finances too but decided oh well I need this time for myself to heal. It was so worth it!!! Good luck

i dont have any answers but i just wanted you to know that u are not alone with child health issues my two girls are disabled just found out my oldest daughter (my third child) has fatty tumors on her spine and tethered cord she also has cyst on right kidney we r scheduled with the nerosurgen on june 27th witch is 3 weeks after my hyster so i know what you are going through and i am here for u anytime u need me

Hang in there...although I haven't had my surgery yet and share many of your concerns, from what I have read in this forum what you are experiencing is not unusual.

I understand the feeling of 'what might they find when they open up?' but my surgeon also said that in most cases, by the time the surgery comes around with all the pre-tests and scans they have a good idea of what they are going to encounter. Anxiety about this or complications are natural.

Re weight gain, I just finished reading a number of threads on the forum on that issue and I was surprised at the large number of women who actually lose weight after surgery! a lot comes down to what you eat...stay healthy and avoid typical "comfort" foods while recuperating (or have them in moderation)

Re Family, this is about you, not about them and it is ok to put boundaries in place. I certainly do with my mother and sister's modes and behaviours as they too are 'all bout them'. Is it completely necessary that your inlaws/family stay with you? is there a nearby hotel or motel or B&B? It is also ok to say that you appreciate their support, what you need now is some alone time or time with your children and husband. If the family throws a fit remember that it is their inability to deal with it, rather than you being unreasonable or doing anything wrong. Another strategy is to send them on errands!

Last off, pamper yourself...get the pedicure or hair cut if you want it.

Hope it goes well with you and also the results of the biopsy for your child.

Take care,

I agree with Lainey, when the family comes over put them to work! You have enough to deal with.

You and your child are in my prayers.

I had to chuckle at this: - "Hope my bi-polar non-medicated mother will not make this surgery all about her and cause drama at my house"

Substitute "mother-in-law" for "mother" and that's my situation. In fact, I'm purposely not telling her about my surgery for as long as I can because I don't want her coming here (she lives a couple hours away).

I also identify with your concern about regretting your decision and the menopause issue. As of now I'm planning on having the ovaries removed. I just want everything gone. But of course I'm struggling with that decision, too.

I hope all goes well and I'm also hoping that your son is OK. You have a lot on your plate!