I have TAH with both ovaries on Wednesday, May 30th and up until now I have been totally chill about the whole thing.
I called today hoping to find out what time my surgery was scheduled for, but they said I had to wait until May 29th at my pre-op visit...and my doctor's office is closed today.
I know the specific time doesn't really matter...but it really frustrates me to not know.
A month ago I had this mindset of all I wanted to accomplish and how things would go (total Type A), well, my body has been in full-on assault mode...worst period ever, pain and bleeding sporadically, fatigue, huge swollen belly and sex...well as much as I want to enjoy a few more great times before my post surgery sebatical...the pain makes it just tolerable, not enjoyable...poor hubby!
Then there is our families...I love them so much and so appreciate their concern, but my sister's family, in-laws & parents have all decided they need to see me before surgery...my husband and I laughed "what do they think they'll never see me again or something." To which we both stopped laughing...not too funny of a thought.
So instead of a relaxing weekend. We have something every waking minute until my surgery including a visit from the in-laws Sunday & Monday and my parents coming for my surgery Tuesday. Again love my family, but having company staying with us 3 days before surgery is just adding another layer of stress to the whole thing.
I am so determined to stay positive, but today is one of those days I have a knot in my belly and feel stress just emitting from my pores!
So I am going to just throw out some thoughts and hopefully cleanse some stress!...if not maybe I'll run a bath and just have a good cry and get it out of my system.
- Scared of what they'll find when they open me up
- Don't want the 20 lbs post hysterectomy gain (it has taken me the past 5 months to lose 18 lbs)
- Would love a nice, new sexy haircut, but think the ponytails will be nice while recovering
- Pedicure - I only get one or two a year, but now with knowing I probably can't have polish on for surgery...I really would love to have one/weird craving
- Craving tons of "should not eat" foods - stress cravings for sure
- Swollen stomach leaves me feeling today like a big, boggy roly-poly blob - will that go away after the surgery
- Hope my bi-polar non-medicated mother will not make this surgery all about her and cause drama at my house
- Waiting for biopsy results our 5 year old had last Friday...will also find these out May 29th - how will I take him to appts if he needs them (Hubby can, but I so like to be there when my kids are having health issues)
- Work - how willl they live without me
Will this cause more instability in my job security long term
- Will this really take away all of the pain, etc
- Will I regret my decision as in will instant menopause make my life miserable
- Are there things I need to do that I will forget
- Can I still get everything done by Wednesday with all the company here
- What is this surgery going to do to our finances on top of our son's recent health issues.
Not too worried about the surgery details...just what they'll find and I have an awesome hubby, that although he is very stressed right now too is taking great care of me and will continue to do so.
Thanks for listening to my rant...now I can go back to my cup half full preparations.