Orgasms weaker and difficult to achieve

Well, here I am to chime in too, which I hadn't expected: my husband died almost two years ago, then I had a hysterectomy (lost cervix, kept ovaries) this past September. I wasn't even thinking about sex until suddenly, a few weeks ago, I was hit with a huge surge in libido. Everything I've read here talks about it happening fairly soon after surgery, but with me it took months. And then I discover what so many of you have discovered: orgasm is different, weaker, and much, much more difficult to get to - I'd never actually totally failed at it on my own before now, and now I have several times and just quit in frustration. I've ordered my first-ever vibrator (at the age of 49: probably should have done it years ago) and am waiting for it to get here, and I have my regular gyn exam coming up in a few weeks and will talk to her about options, but I'm just finding this whole situation so depressing. I'm almost anxious for my hormones to quit on me and to lose any desire for sex. I suppose if I ever were to meet someone new I might change my mind about that, but for now, I just hate all of this.

I had a hysterectomy about 6 months before you. It's beena journey. Had the surge of libido right after surgery. Which surpeised me as even though married hadn't done aything in years. Then hit trouble. I had vaginimus. Husband could not get in. After talking with Dr, used dialtors with some sucess but not enough to have sex. At times I had libido, at times I had none and was depressed. Just used dialtors whether I really felt like it or not. Talked to Dr at 6 month check up who said that everything down there was much healthier than it had been. Found a different site on the web that had a differeent approach to vaginismus, not in how to treat it but in acceptance of oneself and one's vagina. Believe it or not, after 10 years total, it's all working again. Even orgasms. I would have said they are different than before until the other night. My point, don't wish your feelings away. We are living, breathing, changing beings. What isn't there now could be another day. Listen to yourself and love yourself for who you are today and see who you become tomorrow. At 60, I've learned all about masturbtion like I never knew I would need to. There's been up and downs, lights and darks. But it's a journey. Experiment, read, search on line and most of all appreciate your self and who knows where things will lead you.

Actually I have found a wealth of really good information on the internet. And at times, when I've been pretty down with where I'm at I find new ideas to try. It's really helped me formulate questions to ask my Dr. Everyone one says wrie your questions down before you see the Dr. I have a hard time knowing what to ask. Seing other peoples questions and ideas online helps me to know what it is I want to ask at the next appointment. Be patient wiith yourself and don't write off any possibilities for yourself. A year ago one finger in my vagina hurt so much. It felt like sandpaper. I felt like not only had I lost my uterus and ovaries, but I had lost the use of my vagina. Today, I have to take things slowly, but not only can I have sex, I can enjoy it. If one Dr doesn't give an answer that works ask another. I originally went to my regular gyno with the problem. It was my oncologist who got me on the path that worked. Who knew?

Thanks again, Pudley! I appreciate your very helpful advice.

Blood pressure medicine made it much worse for me as well. I tried a different medication but it didn't help either. I just came off of it. Still have same problems, with no new options. Very frustrating. Wish there was some magical medication that could help us all with this problem.

I know I am kind of young for a total hysterectomy but had it done in oct last year... EVERYTHING removed! I could still have an orgasm shortly after surgery but it dwindled down to nothing.... UNTIL recently when I bought the orignal Kegel Master.. I had my doubts but I am here to tell you, it is really helping! My desire is coming back and I am having great orgasms! It isn't a toy, it is a contraption to help you excercise those kegel and pelvic floor muscles. Somehow, just using it to do the excercises has helped me get back to sexual normalcy. Just wanted to share, because I know how frustrating it can be to try and have an orgasm and not get "there" Hope this helps someone

Where does one find this? Have not heard of this contrraption. My libido is up and down. Really up when it is, but flatlines some of the time. Was using dialtors for months which did help. But right now I just can't make myself keep it up. A new idea might be good for me.

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Where does one find this?

You can easily find it doing an internet search. Per website guidelines, we can't post links to commercial sites.

I too am in the same boat. My surgery was about a year ago. Orgasms are weak and pathetic without the uterus contractions (they are obtainable just not really worth it). I had a LAVH keeping my ovaries and for a long time my vagina was numb... I couldn't feel anything at all. Now it's mostly just uncomfortable and certain positions are impossible. I don't have the "tingles" ANYWHERE anymore. It's so frustrating! If my libido actually shows up - it's all clitoral and very short lived. I don't get those deep libido aches anymore. I've tried explaining it to my SO... how it's just not the same and it never will be, but he just doesn't get it. For about a year and a half prior to surgery sex was horrible because of the pain and bleeding, now it's just a muted shadow of what it once was when it was good. I'm so bummed. I can't take any kind of hormones because of high risk due to family cancer history - but I have had my hormones checked and according to my dr they are all in range and everything is "fine." Already then. I guess I just have to live with it. I bought the kegel master (I have a mild urethral prolapse that could be fixed with surgery, but the potential side effects and complications aren't worth it) but can't get 30 mins to myself at any given time to be able to use the dang thing. I would have to stay up till midnight to get some privacy.

UGH!!!!

I am 9 years post operative hysterectomy and ooperectomy. I too have noticed that my orgasms are substantially weaker if at all. When I do reach a climax the wave that continues after is no longer there. It's like as soon as I reach it...it shuts off completely like I was never there!!! Went through many years of no libido at all! I am extremely frustrated with that...not to mention finally found my soul mate and can't do what I as designed to do....sigh...