EndoCa: Life after Chemo

I see that you just finished your Brachy treatments, Indigotiger. Hope you are recovering well, too! I'm feeling a little better every day and really beginning to believe that there really is life after cancer/chemo!

I hope you're able to come to Littlerock to see your sweetie this summer!

Congratulations on completing your chemo, H & H!!! That really is something to celebrate! Don't you for one second feel guilty -- we all love to hear about each other's positive outcomes, so thanks for sharing!

I'm halfway there myself -- 3 down, 3 to go -- and feeling okay all things considered.

Feel better every day!

So glad to hear you're doing ok, Tfitz! It will be over soon for you, too!Summer is almost here!

The emotional roller coster has been surprisingly difficult. I want to feel joyous and live fully and some days I do. Other days I have, not exactly survivors guilt but survivors grief. I miss who I used to be and I'm not sure who I'm becoming. Also the terror just before scans and feeling like my odds are so bad is difficult. I keep feeling like I need someone's permission to live fully, but whose? Somedays I feel like there's melted cheese over my brain and other days I'm wildly joyful. My non-cancer friends don't understand so I'm glad to be able to come here and share with you all. The fight through surgery and chemo was so focused now it's as if we have returned from the war with PTSD.

Hi Grace,

I totally understand how you're feeling. It's hard to even explain to people who haven't been through it . We're really not the same as we used to be. I,too, am struggling to figure out who I am now. I used to be such a "people-pleaser" but now I'm thinking about everything I do and whether or not I really want to do it and why.

I'm very grateful to have made it through cancer and chemo but I can't stop thinking about it. I know what you mean by PTSD! I dread every 3 month check up and think about every little symptom I have now. It's just a month since I finished Chemo so it's still pretty new. I see it's been over a year for you now. What kind of cancer did you have and how long did you have chemo?

My prognosis is pretty good but that does'nt seem to help the "cancerhead" coming up from time to time! I do feel joy much of the time,too. I try to trust God with my life from day to day. That's all we can do. I'm glad we have sisters to share with, too!

Bless you in your journey!

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Originally Posted by graceinspace Other days I have, not exactly survivors guilt but survivors grief. I miss who I used to be and I'm not sure who I'm becoming. The fight through surgery and chemo was so focused now it's as if we have returned from the war with PTSD.

This! Exactly this!!!!!

So glad you are done with chemo. I will be just starting mine soon and you don't have to feel guilty at all.

Don't cut sugar out totally. A little will not hurt and dark chocolate has health benefits. And have something sweet to celebrate. I lost 50 lb. in 2005 eat sugar and have managed to keep it off.

Sparkpeople.com is a great free website that can help you lose weight without cutting out anything.

Thanks, Nancibee!

I checked out the Sparkpeople website-I really like it! I've been very slowly losing weight, which I guess is good.

What is your dx and how long do you have to do Chemo? Wishing you the best as you start.

I'm glad. It really helps me keep my weight in check. Slow is good. It stays off if you do it healthy.

Papillary Serous with clear cell features - State 1B but positive LVI. I start chemo soon. Like you carbo/taxol (6 cycles 3 wks. apart) . Sounds like you are doing well. He says as of right now no radiation since there is no evidence that adding it helps.

Only fun part of cancer has been shopping for turbans and head scarves. And becoming a blonde if I feel like it.