Should I cancel if I am not sure?

Hi All

Looking for some advice. I am 42 - finished having kids. I have a large fibroid which is causing heavy periods (first2/3 days only) and on occasion some pain. I met with a gyne who recommended a Hysterectomy but I was unhappy with his advice as she had no scan/medical records and I felt his decision was based on my age and the fact I dont want more kids. Went to another gyne who did have all the facts and he too has recommended a hysterectomy. I was ok with that since it was a 2nd opinion and I went ahead and got a Depo 3 month shot to shrink the fibroid prior to surgery in August. Now I am in panic mode !! I did ask about just removal of the fibroid but was told since I am 42 I will be facing menopause soon anyway so why not just deal with the problem once and for all. To be honest I dont feel the fibroid is causing that much trouble and I feel I should do a wait and see approach rather then jump into a hysterectomy. I have done some online research and all you read is the downside - which seems huge - far worse then anything my fibroid is causing. Should I cancel again ? I feel at this point that its not for me - now I have told my work place, family etc. I feel I cant cancel - really am unsure - any advice??

Hi AshKel,

Making the decision to have surgery or not really is a personal decision for you to make. Talking with your doctor(s) and family can help you come to the decision but it's very personal.

What I did was make a pro / con list and list things out. Quality of life, pain, Bleeding (if this applies to you -- didn't for me), etc.

When in doubt, get a 2nd, 3rd or 4th opinion. Read / research more on this site. There is lots of information, links and research tools to use. It's your body so you need to be informed for you.

I think we all feel the 'should I cancel' right up to the actual surgery, I know I did. (I'm 41, btw) It's a very hard decision. I had a couple of fibroids that they could see on ultrasound, many more issues (and more fibroids) once they got in there. I didn't think I had that many symptoms (you really get used to them), but the sad truth is that fibroids will just come back, so you are looking at another surgery sometime before menopause, and maybe even after. That, and the idea of NO MORE PERIODS kept me on the path of hysterectomy. I'm sure the fact that they will come back is much of the reason your Drs are encouraging hysterectomy. I could tell my body was better the day after surgery. I realized a diseased organ is worse than no organ. I am still recovering, but overall I feel way better than prior to surgery. That fact has really been shocking and amazing. This is just how it's been for *me*. Your decision is up to you, and there are no wrong answers. There is nothing wrong with having a myomectomy to remove the fibroid/s and keep your uterus. There is nothing wrong with waiting and seeing, and there is nothing wrong with having a hysterectomy. Read everything you can on here, ask all of your questions, and see what you come up with. I'll tell you the anxiety I had about it all was WAY worse than the actual surgery and recovery! Super huge blessings coming your way

One woman once posted in the post-op forum that when she first woke from surgery her first thought was wow no one should ever, ever do this unless necessary. She went on to heal and was glad she had the surgery, but she also had terrible pain and horrendous bleeding before the surgery.

My advice is if you don't have bleeding or pain that is interfering with your life and this isn't causing any health issues, then I would cancel out not do this unless you feel at peace with the idea of a hysterectomy. There are risks with this surgery and you want to make sure that your benefits will outweigh those risks.

I'd ask a 3rd doctor about just removing the fibroid. If you only have one and it is in a location that isn't difficult to remove, then that seems like a reasonable alternative to persue. 42 is not ancient, they shouldn't be basing your treatment on your age. I'm 36 and my eyes about popped out of my head when I read that in your post. My cousin had her last baby at 41. It's not like at 42 your expecting to be in a nursing home any day now rocking away the final days of your life.

My mom and sister both suffered with fibroids (mom had 4 large ones and sister had 3) and they made it to menopause without surgery. My sister controlled her symptoms and the fibroid growth with birth control pills. My mom was on an oral hormone.

Some women find their fibroid come back or continue to grow and others sail through to menopause without any problems.

As long as this isn't harming your health then do more research, see another doctor, and weigh your options.

AshKel,

Welcome to the site!!! You've come to the right place to get some answers and ask lots of s. First of all, yes--postpone the surgery, if you are not totally convinced that this surgery is best for you at this point in your life, don't do it. There is nothing wrong with getting a third or fourth opinion. If at that point all doctors are in agreement that a hysterectomy is best for your health, then you can always reschedule.

Please don't feel like you need to do this because you've already told everyone and made plans. This is your body and a hysterectomy is permanent.

Here's a link to a forum all about Hysterectomy Options and Alternatives . Please take some time to look around and ask as many questions as you need to.

Don't worry about what coworkers or family may think-it is your body to treat how you like. With that said, I too had fibroids. Only a few short years ago my periods were heavy on the 2nd & 3rd day only but that changed very, very quickly. I was to the point that my periods were lasting 10+ days, not all days heavy, but very unpredictable flow. I was in pain over 3 weeks out of the month. My fibroids were followed closely by ultrasound and I was always told they were stable. My dr did a uterine biopsy and scoped me to find out that my uterus was twice the size of a normal one and that my fibroids were on the outside stretching the uterus so removal of the fibroids would not change my period. Since I had several large fibroids my dr put me on lupron to shrink them before surgery and it worked. To make a long story short (lol!) I had my surgery on the 6th only to find that even though my fibroids were closely followed, there was a sneaky one hiding that was huge and my surgery ended up being twice as long as necessary. I am very lucky to not have been anemic before surgery. I have had a really good recovery so far, minimal pain, minimal bleeding, and I truly wish I would have done this sooner. I hope my story helps even a wee little bit and I send prayers your way and hope you have a peaceful decision-making process. God Bless.

Since your surgery isn't until August, I wouldn't cancel yet, but you definitely need more info to help with your decision and concerns. I'm not sure what menopause has to do with it, you are still 10+ years from that and it would be favorable to keep one or both ovaries if at all possible.
I just had surgery last Monday because I had been in the emergency room the weekend before that with endless vomiting and horrific abdominal pain. Prior to that, my only symptoms for the past 10-15 years were heavy bleeding the first day of my period and painful cramps the first 1-2 days of my period and the occasional and expected irregular period. The scan from the ER two weeks ago, showed a large pelvic mass on my left ovary. I was told to see a Gynecologist/Oncologist first thing Monday, but I didn't actually get in to see one until the Friday following. That doc told me I had a large endometrial mass that my ovary, tube and uterus was binded to. He said he could just take out the mass, ovary, and tube but there was no point in leaving the uterus since it was endometriosis. I agreed. Once in surgery, it was discovered the mass was much larger than expected, there was lots of scar tissue binding my uterus to my intestine, and there was a large endometrial mass on my right ovary. My point in sharing this is there can be more problems than what is showing up on a scan or that symptoms point to that need to be taken care of. This needs to be taken into consideration when deciding on surgery.
Be a bit wary of everything you read on the internet. This site is very helpful and informative, but there is lots of info out there where women just report what goes wrong and the problems they have. All the hundreds of thousands that have little to no problems don't stop to report it online. So much of what is online is problems and people seeking answers or wanting to complain or exchange notes, and they don't report back when their problem has been resolved so all you see are unresolved problems/issues. Best Wishes and hope you find all the info you need to resolve your concerns and make an informed and comfortable decision.

I agree you have some time to look for another doctor before surgery for a third opinion.

I see hysterectomy as the last option. It wasn't what I wanted, but it is the end of the line with treatments for me. I found a doctor who had me try several things. I was hopeful each time that they would work. They didn't, but that's no one's fault -- they work for some people.

Try to find a doctor who will try various medications and procedures, such as UFE or D&C or something else, if those would be right for you. I chose my doctor based on her age and that she's a female. I just feel that a younger doctor (50s or younger, based on graduation date) is more likely to be up on newer techniques and more willing to try new treatments. I didn't want to go with a doctor who graduated in the 1960s or 1970s.

I think you're right to question this and pursue some other avenues, even if they don't ultimately work out. I think giving treatments a try is important, JMHO.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Hi Ashkel,

The other sisters have left a lot of really good advice!

I know it's embarrassing to you to change your plans when you've told others you're having surgery, but I think it may be worse to live with your own feelings of regret if you rush into having a surgery you are not sure about having or are not ready for. You also should feel confident in the doctor you are consulting with and/or doing the surgery. There was some really good advice already given about doing more research. You may need to decide, like another sister mentioned, what the pros and cons are of having surgery, as well as what type. Another sister mentioned about information on the internet - I got to the point where I was suspicious of sites that were very opioniated - better to look at sites that provide information and facts and allow you to come to your own conclusion. Everyone needs to look at their own situation and make the best decision for them. Sometimes there are some emotional issues or we may want to try other approaches first that we need to work through before we are ready - you need to find out what the right time is for you and if and when you are ready.

I had tried various natural methods to treat my fibroids, but they didn't work for me. I had some emotional issues I had to deal with, with having an operation of any sort, and then losing much of my uterus. I asked friends to pray, had them over for a meal and prayed, wrote a poem about my feelings, etc. I used meditative music to keep calm as well the morning of my surgery and in preop, and my surgeon played music I selected during surgery. My hormone levels appeared that I would probably not have menopause for a long time. I had very severe bleeding even though the days of the severe bleeding had reduced to about 2 days by taking natural progesterone from yams- but the bleeding was still serious. I had to have iron infusions once each year for three years, because of chronic severe anemia. I later learned the level of bleeding I had (soaking a pad an hour) is life threatening. If this is happening to you, please take it very seriously and find a way to treat this as soon as possible.

I had asked my doctor also about having a myomectomy, but she said that it would have left my uterus like swiss cheese, without much there and that she could do my surgery laprascopically. When they got in there, they found 10 fibroids instead of 4 that were shown on the ultrasound, some my doctor said "as big as baby heads!" The normal uterus weighs about 80 gms and mine weighed 467 grams. I only lost 2 tbsp of blood during surgery and went home the same day. I had one ovary removed (due to many permanent cysts and not much left of my ovary) and most of my uterus, and my tubes. She left one ovary, a small portion of uterus, and my cervix. So I will continue to have my own hormones, I am not menopausal, and am 51. A friend of mine is having a partial hysterectomy with the DaVinci robotically assisted method.

I am very happy with my decision to have my surgery and felt ready, and I wanted to have surgery while laprascopic was still an option for me as the fibroids kept growing, I had confidence in my doctor, I am still in recovery now postop 6 weeks but have seen so many improvements already- even some which I didn't know had anything to do with my fibroids and bleeding. My doctor says I should have my energy back by about 3 months (from all the bleeding I had during my monthly cycle.)

Best of wishes on going through this process of deciding what is best for you.

Hi
Thank you for all your words of support/information - much appreciated! I am going to wait for another couple of weeks before I make my final decision - I think I will end up cancelling the op and take a wait and see approach - I can always reschedule but I feel since I am so unsure it would be a mistake to proceed and then regret it - I am usually so sure once I make a decision but in this case the worry of going ahead is keeping me awake. The worst part is telling my husband as I just know I will be facing into a lecture - I know he is concerned about me but in this case I have to do what I feel is right for me and not what others think I should do - thanks again!