TLH June18

I am really starting to freak as the day gets closer. I'm so scared that I won't get through this ok. I have a 6 month old and I'm so sad I won't be able to care for her. I'm scared something will go wrong and I'll never see her after Monday morning. I'm scared I'll be in such bad shape recovering that I won't be able to enjoy my summer off (I'm a teacher) I wanted so much to enjoy my summer with my baby, but now I'm feeling like it's ruined. I'm sad that she's going to be my last, even though I'm 40 and never really planned on having more than 1, still I didn't want that choice taken away from me....

You're having the typical case of nerves and thoughts/feelings of impending doom that's common with upcoming surgery. I was riding the roller coaster of up and down nerves last weekend. At times it felt like a count-down to my execution -- planning my last meal, my last drink, my last activity, my last time spent with loved ones. Then fearing everything that could go wrong, even making some stuff up. Some of it so ridiculous, but our minds just do this. Sometimes I felt I would end up in the psych ward before the surgical ward of the hospital. You kind of just have to feel this stuff and let it pass, then when the more positive thoughts come back, concentrate and hold on to them. Plan what foods and drinks you'll have on hand when you get home. Find your comfy jammies, pillow, blankets, etc. Plan what outfits your baby will wear the first week after you're out of the hospital. Those kinds of things. You will be fine and you will get through this, our fear is generally quite exaggerated so keep that in mind.

I feel the same way, I have known for a while I would never have more children due to kidney issues, but to have the choice taken from me makes me so sad I too have on little girl, but I'm thankful for her and I know its the best thing for me to do!! I am praying that all goes well for you!!

you too, thanks

Awaynot, I have the same fears as you. I have two young children and am nervous that I won't see them again. I know I will and my thoughts are irrational, but there is that nagging worry in the back of my mind. Somebody in another thread gave me great advice to write letters to them so that they will know how much I love them. My surgery is tomorrow as well. Good luck and I hope you have a quick recovery. (((hugs)))

Hugs and good luck ladies!!! See you on the other side! I go in on Wednesday so I totally know how you feel. These nerves are really creeping up on me

I actually went to Las Vegas and gambled my 500$ like it was my last weekend on Earth while awaiting news of certain tests that would pretty much tell me if I would live or die. It turns out I kept winning all kinds of jackpots and anyway I came home with the same amt of $ plus shopping. Then I got my test results and it turns out I wasn't going to die after all but I did end up with hysterectomy. So you see we do all get those feelings of last days and believe me I went thru every up and mostly down possible before surgery. I cried almost everyday and certainly at every Dr appt- I know they all thought I was wacko. But now they say- " look at you- you are smiling now and you're not in pain you look so much better". I had 4 drs involved in my case. PS - I have never come home from Vegas with a dime in my pocket before.

I'm not sure I could handle writing that letter, way to hard