Any childless hystersisters?

I don't have any children and not by choice. We tried fertility treatments after I had laparoscopy to ck tubes and ckd for endometriosis found nothing everything looked beautiful, the only thing she found was very small fibroids 1cm wouldn't effect getting pregnant. My husbands spem count was great and mobile but they did see in the post coital tests that a few sperm were immobile not a big deal. Went and bought a baby outfit hoping we would have a baby in the next yr. This was in my early 30's I'm 51 now. Gosh how time flys...After a yr of doing fertility treatments my fertility spec. diagnosed my husband and I with unexplained infertility. In the following yrs I noticed gradually my periods were getting heavier and and started feeling a mass in my abdom. At about 39 my fibroids were at 8cm I put this hysterectomy off for yrs thinking by some miracle I would get preg. I've always kind of felt like an alien not having kids. Especially on Mother's day, but I have a Pit bull I call my daughter and that's fine. Married to my soul mate for 25 yrs ...we've been through alot together...loss of parenting...loss of our parents...but life is good we have each other.

I'm so thankful for this thread. I'm 2yrs. post-op, was unable to concieve and finally ended with surgery. The grief of not being able to concieve, then the finality with surgery is overwhelming; especially when surrounded with unsupportive/caring people. I feel like I failed. I don't know what is harder for me the inablility to have had children or having been a supportive person for many in my life with the belief I would be able to lean on them in a time of need. I've removed myself from gatherings, phone calls etc.. it too painful. Plus, for them everything is the same and I'm the one whose made a greater issue of the surgery.. If you were able to have children when you wished and carryon the typical conveyor belt of life then here's to ya!!!! I'm not dramatic for the saddness, grief and anger which surgery has produced. I get to honor how I feel, whether it is comfortable for those who like to pretend everything is alright..When, it's not. Having no choice is different then arranging your life with the hopes,beliefs that someday you;ll have this beautiful baby... I pray for those out there that you find support and care in your journey... Peace and Health, 72whitten

Hi Ladies,

Well this is my first ever post on HysterSisters.

I am lucky enough to have a big 15yr old Son but sadly when I was 26 had to have emergency hysterectomy. My ex didn't want anymore anyway even after losing 5 little ones between 10 wekks and 18 weeks

I have been with my new partner for 2 years now and we were best friends before then. we long for a child and I guess it's now it all hits me. I WANT A BABY!! and I can't so we've been looking into Surrogacy but if I can ask 1 question...... Why has all this sorrow and grief hitting me now? After 6 years??

Totally heart broken but trying to look to the future and hope for a miracle..

Sending a warm hug to all you beautiful ladies..

I'm so sorry Shanya.

I never wanted kids and never regretted my decision, but still, after my hysterectomy about 3 weeks ago I'm feeling all kinds of sadness. Before it was a choice not to have kids. Now, it's an impossibility and I'm grieving for something I never thought I wanted.

I hope surrogacy works for you, or adoption. Good luck.

Luce

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Shanya Hi Ladies, Well this is my first ever post on HysterSisters. I am lucky enough to have a big 15yr old Son but sadly when I was 26 had to have emergency hysterectomy. My ex didn't want anymore anyway even after losing 5 little ones between 10 wekks and 18 weeks I have been with my new partner for 2 years now and we were best friends before then. we long for a child and I guess it's now it all hits me. I WANT A BABY!! and I can't so we've been looking into Surrogacy but if I can ask 1 question...... Why has all this sorrow and grief hitting me now? After 6 years?? Totally heart broken but trying to look to the future and hope for a miracle.. Sending a warm hug to all you beautiful ladies..

I see the sweet moments people have with their kids and I wish I had kids, but then sometimes when I'm in a grocery store and you see a kid hysterically crying, because they want this and that and they are throwing things out of the wagon, you can see this mother with tears in her eyes begging "Please give mommy a break and be good." That's when I walk away with a grin.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by TB12fan I don't have children and never had the chance or a real relationship. Since my surgery last feb I had gotten very close to one of my guy friends that has helped me deal with this. But since his mom has pressed him about having children he has pulled away fom me. Now I can't have children and am loosing him. I have nothing! A few friends but they are busy with their family and my family is busy too with their own kids/spouses. I'm drowning and ready to just go away from all of them

my husband left me after my hysto. his loss. i've now found the perfect man who def doesnt want kids.

take a good look in the mirror and see the wonderful woman you are. a full and beautiful woman, kids are not the be all and end all.

we have a wonderful life with no ties. we can travel where ever we want whenever we want.

you have everything hunni. being on the other side saved me from a selfish husband and not another wasted 20yrs of my life.

it has made me strong again

lots lof hugs xxx

A lot of pressure is put on women especially to have children and if not then there must be something wrong with them. Society does make women feel like they aren't complete and whole person unless you have children. It's not always so. Many people think of having children as they have to rather than they want to. There is good and bad to it like most everything.