If you are childless, can we talk?

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Originally Posted by goldensrus Funny baby story. I must have been exhausted this afternoon as totally zonked out. And no didn't do anything to cause that except make multiple trips to the bathroom . And I wake up to my aunt shushing the BABY because I was sleeping. Talk about turning the tables. Just had to laugh as usually it is us that get shushed when the baby is sleeping, not the other way around.

Sounds right to me!
Yes, you will tire very easily these first days. Do not push it! You will regret it if you do. Plan to do a lot of sleeping and maybe read when you get more energy. I must have read over a dozen books in my first weeks convalescing...

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Originally Posted by goldensrus Funny baby story. I must have been exhausted this afternoon as totally zonked out. And no didn't do anything to cause that except make multiple trips to the bathroom . And I wake up to my aunt shushing the BABY because I was sleeping. Talk about turning the tables. Just had to laugh as usually it is us that get shushed when the baby is sleeping, not the other way around.

Lol!!! I think you're the baby now

Ditto GDlovelife. Also ditto OperaRose on the reading. I have a Nook and read tons! Relax, embrace that time! I'm kinda jealous. LOL. What was my dang hurry anyway?

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Originally Posted by MysticJourney Hello. I want to say I am new here and suffered greatly emotionally and socially for not being able to have a baby. I am a member of a religion that treats you great if you have children and like your a leper if you don't. I have been shunned by women that the leaders of the church tell you that they are your sisters. I was left out of many parties and social events though my husband was invited to them as was his ex-wife (they had two sons). Emotionally I suffered as I didn't and still don't understand why me and what I must have done wrong in my life to be so punished.

Hi Sweetie,

Please don't think you did anything wrong, as with me and many others, it just was not meant to happen for us. I find it very reprehensible that people who allegedly believe in God and attend church where they must be hearing something different have treated a "sister" as they have you. Don't they realize this is the antithesis of what a loving God expects of them?

You will overcome your grieving; time will help heal and move on. You also never know what the future hold.. After 10 years in retirement (had worked 32 yrs in foreign service) by chance I began working with an Aspie child who is now a HS junior. I not only enjoy working with my teen but also relate to his classmates sharing their joys and trying to help in their sad moments and offering guidance when sought; etc. It is so refreshing and often uplifting to be with youth as they begin to experience the world around them and move to adulthood and their goals in life. You never know what is around the corner for you.

I am keeping you in prayer and also sending positive thoughts too.. You will get through this and move on as many others have but have to give yourself whatever time you need for this.

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Good morning, my sisters. As you know from this thread, my journey has been full of ups and downs. I've had many instances where I have found some kind of humor in my unfortunate lack of child bearing. Usually I laugh and then mull over it for days afterward with my Maw Maw panties in a knot over it. Well, because of you all, I had an experience yesterday that didn't affect me at all other than be a little sad for those behind me who aren't where I am mentally right now. My doc was on vacay and I had a swollen incision site. His partner "fit" me in and I had never been on her side of the office. They put me in the exam room and there is floor to ceiling pictures of every child she delivered. Before I would have told the doc about my displeasure, yada, yada, yada! But instead, I sat in there waiting my turn........ Shopping online for my ring! Oh yeah, I'm on my way!

BTW, all her exam rooms were wallpapered in pics. Whoa Nelly with my swollen belly!

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Originally Posted by Lotus51 Good morning, my sisters. As you know from this thread, my journey has been full of ups and downs. I've had many instances where I have found some kind of humor in my unfortunate lack of child bearing. Usually I laugh and then mull over it for days afterward with my Maw Maw panties in a knot over it. Well, because of you all, I had an experience yesterday that didn't affect me at all other than be a little sad for those behind me who aren't where I am mentally right now. My doc was on vacay and I had a swollen incision site. His partner "fit" me in and I had never been on her side of the office. They put me in the exam room and there is floor to ceiling pictures of every child she delivered. Before I would have told the doc about my displeasure, yada, yada, yada! But instead, I sat in there waiting my turn........ Shopping online for my ring! Oh yeah, I'm on my way! BTW, all her exam rooms were wallpapered in pics. Whoa Nelly with my swollen belly!

Lol! Good story! I got my ring from Tiffany, sterling with a few diamonds and every time I look at it, it makes me smile I, too, am not as sad. I shared my story with a new friend over the weekend and really, it felt more foreign to me, I am not the same and feel revitalized since the surgery. I'm ready to move on and so glad. There is no time in life to harbor resentment and sadness. So important to heal in due time and move forward. Hugs!

GDlovelife, amen sister. I too tried to share my non-child bearing story the other day and it felt foreign to me, too. Just goes to show how important it is to share your feelings with those that understand and relate. If anything, I hope this thread lessens the healing time for those just grieving so they don't suffer as long as we have. I can't believe I've been holding on to this for 25 years. So sad.

On a happy note, I've been looking on the Tiffany site too. I want either a yellow diamond or yellow sapphire, white gold, with diamonds on the sides. My hubby saw me shopping for it and asked what I was doing. When I told him and then said what price I wanted to spend, he said he would double it and pay for it if I wanted it for Christmas. Although I wanted it to be commemorative of my own holiday, thinking it could be doubled might just make me wait. I'm thinking about it for sure. But I want it now! Yes, I might be parts-less, but I am woman. Sounds like a Helen Reddy song.

Glad you are having some healing of that heart, GDlovelife. Nothing like positive progress, I say. Have a great day! Peace!

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Originally Posted by Lotus51 GDlovelife, amen sister. I too tried to share my non-child bearing story the other day and it felt foreign to me, too. Just goes to show how important it is to share your feelings with those that understand and relate. If anything, I hope this thread lessens the healing time for those just grieving so they don't suffer as long as we have. I can't believe I've been holding on to this for 25 years. So sad. On a happy note, I've been looking on the Tiffany site too. I want either a yellow diamond or yellow sapphire, white gold, with diamonds on the sides. My hubby saw me shopping for it and asked what I was doing. When I told him and then said what price I wanted to spend, he said he would double it and pay for it if I wanted it for Christmas. Although I wanted it to be commemorative of my own holiday, thinking it could be doubled might just make me wait. I'm thinking about it for sure. But I want it now! Yes, I might be parts-less, but I am woman. Sounds like a Helen Reddy song. Glad you are having some healing of that heart, GDlovelife. Nothing like positive progress, I say. Have a great day! Peace!

Great husband!!!! I say double it hugs!

Hi! I used to belong to Hystersisters but, when we got a new email address, I didn't come back. I guess my username says it all. It's been quite awhile since the operation and I still am lost and sad. I still feel like I'm not a real woman because no man ever wanted me (or ever will) and because the only thing that I ever wanted (having a child) is impossible. I can't adopt as I'm too old (and don't make enough money to be able to afford it). I live way out in the country and don't have a car so I can't volunteer anywhere. I don't have any friends and my family only really care about my sisters and their kids. I live day by day. I have no hope that my life will get better, no dreams left, nothing to look forward to. I have no one to talk to. No one I know cares whether I'm happy or not. I guess all I have is to wish that there's reincarnation and I get to live a real life in my next life or there is a heaven and I get to be happy there. This feels like a wasted life and that I'm a waste of space and resources. I want a do-over but know I won't get one. Sorry to be such a downer, but some people do feel this way.

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Originally Posted by lostandsad Hi! I used to belong to Hystersisters but, when we got a new email address, I didn't come back. I guess my username says it all. It's been quite awhile since the operation and I still am lost and sad. I still feel like I'm not a real woman because no man ever wanted me (or ever will) and because the only thing that I ever wanted (having a child) is impossible. I can't adopt as I'm too old (and don't make enough money to be able to afford it). I live way out in the country and don't have a car so I can't volunteer anywhere. I don't have any friends and my family only really care about my sisters and their kids. I live day by day. I have no hope that my life will get better, no dreams left, nothing to look forward to. I have no one to talk to. No one I know cares whether I'm happy or not. I guess all I have is to wish that there's reincarnation and I get to live a real life in my next life or there is a heaven and I get to be happy there. This feels like a wasted life and that I'm a waste of space and resources. I want a do-over but know I won't get one. Sorry to be such a downer, but some people do feel this way.

Ditto here. Only I am married to an uncaring *** that had two sons with his first wife. He's kids are monsters and the Sisters at church use to treat me very badly then when his ex-wife died I was seen by them as *the perfect step-mother*. Too little too late. I refuse to settle for second best and rarely give the Sisters at Church the time of day for their treatment of me. Those step-kid don't deserve a woman as good as I am as mother. So I shut them out and choose to live in my childless existence where even God isn't allowed in.