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I'm calm one minute, and scared the next
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11-15-2008, 09:36 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 2
Hysterectomy: November 25th, 2008
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I'm calm one minute, and scared the next
I am scheduled for Tuesday, Nov. 25th. I am 41 with no children (unfortunately). There are times when I look forward to this, and other times when the reality hits that I won't have the opportunity to have children. My surgeon told me to be prepared for the hysterectomy, because the fibroid is so large, but he would try his best to reconstruct it. I'm preparing for the worst case scenario. Do I belong on this forum? Anyway...I'm glad I found this site, and it does calm me to an extent, but the reality and finality of it is always in the back of my mind.
I am usually the most upbeat person, but lately, nothing is going right, and well...I think it's my hormones. I was seeing someone and we were progressing to a relationship when on Wednesday he tells me he still has feelings for his ex (apparently being with me brought those all back-yeah me), and for some reason the shock & hurt of it all is so dramatic for me right now. I'll get over it though.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to getting this over with.
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11-15-2008, 05:01 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 244
Hysterectomy: December 9th, 2008
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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I'm calm one minute, and scared the next
Hi Deb...I just wasted to tell you yes you are at the right place to post for pre-op issues..questions, suggestions or even just to vent.
As you look at other hyster sisters posts you will discover there are many emotions involved when dealing with the problems that have led us all to this site. Especially when we are facing a surgery...as it will bring many life altering effects..hopefully for the better!
As you said you will likely get over the budding relationship but that does BITE!
Keep your chin up and try to look for emotional support both here on the Hyster Sister site and around you local area...family-friends, clergy or professional.
I am of the opinion..(strictly my own), sharing and caring makes the road to recovery quicker and less lonely...
Good Luck to ya & hopefully you will visit this site often!
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11-15-2008, 05:18 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 132
Hysterectomy: February 25th, 2004
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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I'm calm one minute, and scared the next
hi debcent, im sorry you're sooo scared, soo was i, sounds like you have the exact same thing that i went thru! i had a fibroid the size of a cantalope that was growing thru my uterus. once you get to the hospital they will give you something to keep you calm. the hard part for me was jsut getting there. it will be over before you know it. i wasn't able to have children either and its sad, i know how you feel. luckily i have a step-daughter, that has been in my life for about 15 years. shes a actress out in l.a she was on zoey 101... victoria justice. we dont see soo much of her anymore because she was just signed to her own series on nickelodeon and some sort of record deal..... feel free to ask me anything. maybe i can help you, the girls on this board are very helpful and i doubt i would have gotten thru it w/o their support.
take good care
dana
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11-18-2008, 05:51 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 2
Hysterectomy: November 25th, 2008
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I'm calm one minute, and scared the next
Thank you all for your support. I am one week from surgery, and relatively calm (today). LOL. My aunt, who is a nun, called me this weekend to share the "sorrow" of not having children either. She understood how I felt. I cried like a baby on the phone...What is with that? Am I that emotionally geared up right now? Is it going to get worse?
It's time to get ready for work (man, that part is hard too, getting all of your work done so you can be out of the office with a clear mind). Have a wonderful day to all my "sisters."
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11-18-2008, 06:09 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 130
Hysterectomy: November 24th, 2008
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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I'm calm one minute, and scared the next
Hi Debscent,
My op is Monday! My dream of a big family is over, and I am all over the place about it. I'm trying to get a grip and be grateful for the wonderful ones I have in my life today. I got a lot from what you've posted here, I feel alot like you have described - up, down, calm, scared..
I'm 38 years old, and my colleagues & family looked shocked when I told them I'll have to have a hysterectomy - they all think I'm too young, that it can't possibly be right. Thank God for this site! Here I am not alone and I can speak freely, and sometimes someone answers. I'm really grateful that it's nearly over. I still can't believe it's really happening.
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11-19-2008, 08:17 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 611
Hysterectomy: June 24th, 2008
Surgery Type: LSH
Ovaries: Removed both
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I'm calm one minute, and scared the next
Hi there debscent &
We are so very glad to have you here--I found this site in the week prior to my surgery, and am ever-so grateful that I did. I want you to know that we are all here for you, and care very deeply not only about your physical health, but your emotional well-being as well. We will be here for you throughout this journey.
I too was unable to have any children, and had my surgery in June at the age of 43--there was much crying and fear involved. I came here for support, as I didn't really have anyone in my life who could seem to relate to the loss. There are times now when I still get tearful--it is a process that we must endure and come to terms with...just know that you will not be alone in this, and we will do everything possible to help you.
I wanted to give you a link to our pre-op resources page, in case you have not come acorss that already. These pages are full of helpful information and tips on preparing for surgery, and there are a couple of articles on pre-op anxiety/fear:
Pre-Op Resources
I will be thinking of you, and keeping you in my prayers--I wish you the absolute best for an uneventful surgery and a speedy recovery. Please take care, and please do keep us posted. We will all be here for you anytime you have a question or just need to talk.
Sincerely, Trish
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11-19-2008, 10:40 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 6
Hysterectomy: November 26th, 2008
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I'm calm one minute, and scared the next
Deb you must be living my life! I am 40 my surgery is scheduled for Wednesday 11/26. I too have no children and that is what I have been trying to come to terms with. Everyone I know that has had a hysterectomy and says that it was the best thing they have ever done all have children. I am grateful that I have always been extremely close to my brothers kids but it is just not the same. There are days I am fine and then there are days like yesterday that I cant seem to stop crying. I am nervous about the surgery but scared about the emptiness I am afraid I am going to have from not every being able to have children. So I feel your pain and emotion and hope both of us come thru this with great success! Good luck!
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11-19-2008, 06:22 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 266
Hysterectomy: November 25th, 2008
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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I'm calm one minute, and scared the next
Best of luck to all you wonderful ladies. The emotions are so hard to control, Sometimes I think we try to hard to keep it in. Having a release once in a while is healthy.
I am scheduled for a TVH on Nov.25, am 37yrs old, and too have so many people act astonished at me having to have this procedure.
What they dont see is the chronic pain, my family suffering with me, and my reliant on pain medication.
I am focusing on myself after the procedure, imagining myself healthy, happy, pain free, more awake, enjoying sex! That is what is helping me get through the next few days.
On saturday night I will be home alone, I plan on doing something, not quite sure of what yet, but somekind of goodbye to my uterus, goodbye to my past, and allowing myself a time for release. I will send you some positive vibes while I am thinking of all us princess's!
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11-19-2008, 09:04 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 62
Hysterectomy: November 21st, 2008
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I'm calm one minute, and scared the next
The roller coaster of emotions is normal. I've had them all. This website has been a godsend in helping me see that I'm not crazy, not alone. I've laughed, cried and learned lots. Couldn't have gotten this far without the support of all these women all over the world who share this common experience and care about each other. Tomorrow is my day to go off to the castle. Right now I'm calm and at peace. Who knows what tomorrow may bring. My blessing to all the princesses on their journey for a successful surgery and quick and easy recovery!
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