6 weeks post-op... anxiety...

I had my 6 week check-up today. The doctor cleared me to resume normal activity as I see fit. I am still fatigued and in pain if I push myself too far so I know I still need to take it easy. My husband is so excited because to him this means we can be intimate again. Honestly though, I'm feeling a lot of anxiety over this though. I feel pressure to be "in the mood" and I'm not sure I'll even enjoy it with feeling like I "have" to. Is it common to feel this way? Don't get me wrong, I want to, I just don't like it being expected. It's almost like on your honeymoon how it's kind of expected that you'll have sex. I think he is expecting it and I'm nervous. I'm afraid it will hurt. The exam today really hurt even though my dr says everything is healed. Tell me I'm not crazy for feeling this way...

Hi Sharon,

I don't think you're crazy at all for feeling the way you do. I am only 2 weeks post-op and I have already had those same thoughts of *what if I'm not ready at 6 weeks*, etc. Hopefully you can talk to your husband openly and he can understand you're hesitation and concerns. Knowing that the exam was very uncomfortable for you, maybe he will be a little more patient?

No sweetie you are not crazy for feeling this way. It is quite normal. Just because you've reach your 6 week mark doesn't mean that you are ready. Most us were very nervous the 1st time after surgery, some even the 1st couple of times. My first couple of times I was very nervous eventhough I didn't bleed, it didn't hurt, I didn't damage anything and I was lubricated enough. I wasn't as relaxed as I could have been because I was thinking about all of the things that could go wrong. I was nervous the second time too
Explain to you husband what you are feeling. Tell him that the exam hurt and you are afraid of the samething happening when you have sex and all of the other things that you are afraid of. I am not discounting your husband's feelings, but he has to understand that it's your body that had just gone through major surgery and he had to be patient and when you do have sex try and relax, which I think is very important and ask him to be very gentle. Sex is not just physical, it's mental also. So don't let the only thing stopping you from trying be fear because you will never know until you try. You might surprise yourself.

Lots if ((HUGS to YOU))