This is nuts! Why am I suddenly feeling sad?!?!

I've got three kids. Hubby had a vasectomy four years ago because we decided we were done having children, and I've never regretted it.

Since I entered the hospital to be prepped for surgery, I've had this nagging little sadness in the back of my mind telling me, "This is it. Your childbearing days are over forever." :-(

This doesn't make any sense! My childbearing days were over four years ago, not just now. What the heck is wrong with me? I've reminded myself over and over how incredibly blessed I've been, and how insane it is for me to feel this way. If I had the choice, I'd say "No. No more children." But I'm still sad.

Has anyone else gone through this? Any insights?

oh sweetie, this is perfectly normal! i have 2 kids one is 15 and the other is 13, after my 13 year old was a year old i had my tubes tied and after my hyst i felt like you do now. this too shall pass also your hormones are a mess right now, did you keep your ovaries? if you did they may be asleep, this major surgery was a shock for them and it takes awhile for them to get back on track!
good luck and big hugs.

RubiTuesday,

I had the same situation. My DH had a vasectomy a few years before all my bleeding problems began. I even felt a little guilty that he had gone through with it when ultimately, I wound up needing the TAH. He reassured me that he did not regret it...he like the spontaneity it had given us for those few years!

Prior to my surgery, I thought I had all my emotions straight in my head. I was 44 yrs old, hadn't thought about having anymore children in years, so no big deal, right? It did hit me post-op that my "child bearing years" were over. Like they hadn't been already??? Still, I was sad about it.

Then I realized that I was moving on to a new phase in my life. I was moving in that direction regardless of the TAH, but the surgery just pushed it to the forefront. Now I realize that this is a great phase to be in. When my girlfriends tell me about all of their irregular bleeding and have to worry about being near a bathroom, I am empathetic, but certainly not jealous! I don't miss any of the mess or pain and there is NO WAY I would be able to get up with an infant and still function as a respectable human being during the daylight! I had my children when I was younger for a reason.

Last week I held a baby for the first time since I had my surgery and I was worried about how that would make me feel. It felt wonderful! She was so sweet and smelled so good...it brought back wonderful memories of my own babies, but I wasn't sad that those days were gone. My DD's are becoming beautiful, responsible young women and I am a part of that. They came through me and for that I will be forever grateful. I am hopeful that I will hold grandchildren some day, though!

You are blessed, but you are also allowed to mourn the passing of a wonderful time in your life. It doesn't mean your life is over, just that you are heading down a new path. You will find your strengths on this leg of the journey, too.

Take care of yourself.

maggiemay

I went through this right before my surgery last week and a friend of mine did as well. My tubes were tied 7 years ago after the birth of my 4th child- I was done no more. My friend - who like you her husband was fixed went through this a few years ago and explained it to me as this. Aalthough we know mentally we are done having children we are still physically able to have children, either through artificle insemination or reversal. It made sense to me even though my tubes were tied your taking my ability away to have it reversed. Today I am happy- still very sore but would not change my decision to have it done. I look forward to many years of being pain & heavy bleeding free of happiness. It can only get better from here. Good luck!