Lubrication 3 months after

so I am still freaked out about sex. I have a lot of sexual feelings, but we have only had sex 3 times since my lavh.
I never had a problem with lubrication before, probably was mostly blood. my husband likes to do it with him standing by the side of the bed. I never liked it, after I used to bleed and be in a lot of pain so now when he wants to do it that way I say no because I don't want the pain. I'm sure it won't hurt anymore but I can't get past that.
I don't know what to do, I'm sure I have to get some gel, but I don't want to do it the way he does.
sorry for the graphic description but I don't know what to do anymore.
I used to be very sexual, have a drawer full of lacy things I put one on the other nite but I couldn't bring myself to have him see me. I am 52 but most people think I'm 30. I'm very small and I know I don't look like a grandma..I am though. I don't like the way I am. help

Lubrication enhances sex anyway, so that one is pretty straightforward. You need to be honest with your Husband and tell him you don't like that position anymore. Then get creative. I would say that you didn't feel like dressing up because you are acting falsely regarding sex at the moment....and that is observation, not critisism.

Astroglide is very slippery and works well and is available at Target, CVS and Walgreens. We used KY before my surgery. and it works well too. Don't shy away from lube, it really helps.

maybe with using lube, you'll remember how much you enjoy it and you can ease back into it that way.