Ever feel like you're not allowed to complain?

Maids- I hear ya. It's hard to not feel kind of underwhelmed by other people's response and level of understanding. You get about 1 week before people are done with it. It's hard to take, ESP from your close family members. I've done too much today and I'm gonna PAY later. Like you, I was desperate to go somewhere/do something today... Makes me feel human! I know it only helps a little, but there are a BUNCH of ladies here who understand... :/

Thanks. This site is great I feel better knowing I am not alone in this process. We all heal at different rates and I have to admit it is slower than I thought. : )

Today my husband had been out running errands and met up with several friends and neighbors in passing. He came home and said, "Everyone asks how you are doing. I am telling them, 'really well. Some days good and some days not so good. Today is a good day.'" Today is just my 4th day. He is very sweet about this. And I do feel that people are asking out of genuine concern. But I found myself wanting to correct him! Like, no! I am not doing that great! Don't tell people I am! How can you give a general evil like this? Protect my suffering, please! :-)

Not evil. I meant eval.

I posted on fb too and deleted it because I'm tired of people telling me what to do. "take it easy", "don't over do it" blah blah.blah. as if I don't know that and as.if they think I'm doing jumping Jack's or something. gimme a break, or them comparing to their experience or their friends experience. who cares! this is MY experience.
I'm just not posting anything anymore. none of my "friends" have even asked how I'm doing anyway in the last 11 days. screw them.

signed,
feeling alone on fb

ps. on the other hand I've got my two sets of in-laws calling every other day asking how I am and I wish they would just leave me alone. fortunately I can let the answering machine get it.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by FiddlerThree Today my husband had been out running errands and met up with several friends and neighbors in passing. He came home and said, "Everyone asks how you are doing. I am telling them, 'really well. Some days good and some days not so good. Today is a good day.'" Today is just my 4th day. He is very sweet about this. And I do feel that people are asking out of genuine concern. But I found myself wanting to correct him! Like, no! I am not doing that great! Don't tell people I am! How can you give a general evil like this? Protect my suffering, please! :-)

I wish people would ask ME how I'm doing instead of asking someone else how I'm doing. that's one of my pet peeves

I had my TAH with a vertical incision and two days later my ureters, the tubes going from the kidneys to the bladder, stopped working. I had to be transferred to another hospital, where I was for the next 7 days. They ended up putting in nephrostomy tubes, with catheter bags that drin my urine. The short term disability company said they would only approve a 6 week recovery time, without documentation of my 'complications'.

Well, I got my records, 50+ pages of them and asked my boss if I could fax it to the insurance company from work. When I went in to do this today, pushing my walker, as I am really weak and it holds my catheter bags, three people asked me when I was coming back to work. I just kind of looked at them and said "I think I should get rid of the bags and walker first, don't you".

Well, they said, "You only had a hysterectomy, you should be fine, it's been a month". I was afraid to say anything else at that point.

This has been so frustrating and as some of you have said, you find out quickly who your friends are!!

Oh my god that is horrible and insensitive, I can't believe people. Take care of yourself. Hugs and feel better. ��

Your friends are the ones who say to you, "Girl, you are absolutely ROCKING those bags!! Can I carry one?" Seriously- you're right. Sometimes I think you could literally fall over and people would be like, "Well, glad you're feeling better!! Lets have lunch soon!! (Never)"
Screw them. Everybody has their turn with something miserable at some time. Hopefully we are all learning what NOT to do so that we won't be insincere and dismissive to those in our lives!

Had to post after reading this thread! I'm day 10 post total laproscopic hysterectomy and I'm already sick to death of people acting like I've had the equivalent experience of having a tooth extracted. The only person who actually understands is my partner and he's had to go away due to work commitments - 1500km away for a month!!!

I'm also selling my house and have the agent bring people round every other day to view the property. Great...! Not!

Thank goodness I signed up here - primarily for info pre-op...think I'm going to be around here for some time!

Hugs!