Hi and introduction

This looks like possibly the busiest board on the site so I thought I would reach the max number of sisters to say hi right here!

I am 49 yrs old, live in Illinois and I am having a TVH, A&P repair for bladder and rectum, small bowel hernia repair, transobdurator sling for urinary incontinence and a sacrospinous ligament fixture on April 26th at 9:00 a.m. oh.. and did I mention I am really really scared!

I am English, been here in the USA for 4 and a half years with my 2nd husband who is American, my 2 grown children and 3 grandchildren and the rest of my family are all in England including my mother.

I love this site, think I am addicted to it. Trying to lose weight and having trouble with that right now. Gave up smoking almost 3 weeks ago because my surgeon said it would improve post operative success for the prolapse repairs.

Hmm.. oh and my hubby has been acting a bit weird. Very distant. He went to the meeting with the surgeon with me and had all my surgery explained in graphic detail with everything I can NOT do after I come home, time not cooking or cleaning, lifting restrictions etc. I have noticed he has got lots less affectionate and I have been feeling very alone. His work hours make talking really hard so I left him a note last night saying I need him I am really scared. When he asked what I was scared of I told him this surgery and he said 'oh these days this is just routine stuff, you will be fine, he only told you all that stuff that could go wrong because he has to cover himself, you will be just fine', he gave me a hug and sounded like a little boy trying to act all grown up and manly and convince himself! I told him it doesn't stop me being scared and having read here that men get like this because they don't know how to fix it.. I will tell him how to fix it.. hug me a lot.. hold my hand.. stroke my hair.

Anyway, I am eager to talk to all of you and hear your stories.

Wow. You've got a lot going on! They are able to repair everything vaginally? I thought I had great doctors...

Sorry to hear that you are feeling alone. This is a great place to vent and get the support you need. I have a great support team between friends, a wonderful BF and my son. They have all been there for me as much as they possibly could, but having this site, talking to other women who have gone through similar experiences has been invaluable. Those close to you can only do so much. Maybe your DH just doesn't know what to expect or feels that somehow things will be different afterwards. Sounds like things can only improve for you, make you more comfortable. Maybe remind him of that.

Yes surgery is scary. I am a veterinary technician and deal with anesthesia everyday. I know the risks, which was probably worse for me! My anesthesiologists hated me! I constantly bugged them about what drugs they were giving me. They tended to knock me out quick to shut me up! I had 3 anesthetic procedures (2 LEEP's and 1 cone biopsy) plus my hysterectomy (TLH) all in 7 months. It is scary, but depending on your health status, the risks can be minimized. I would definitely recommend getting yourself in shape, if you are not already,prior to surgery. It will make recovery much easier. I thought I was in shape (wrestling 100lb dogs and all) but I really stepped up my exercising and abdominal workout prior to surgery. 2 weeks post op and I think I'm doing pretty well compared to many people I have talked to.

So it's o.k. to be scared, everyone is. And it's o.k. to ask for the support and comfort you need. Let me know if I can help.

Hi, Shantra!

Ask for more hugs. And on the menu to the left, you will see a section titled "For Men".

Print that out and leave it lying around somewhere - or tell DH that you found it really interesting.

Hugs to you from me!

Hi to both of you! 1. I LOVE the penguin!
Thank you for the idea of printing out some of the mens stuff, I think that would be a great idea and I am getting some great ideas off this site like the rolling cart to put things on.. great thing to have especially with lifting restrictions.

As to a lot going on.. yes. I also have endometritis. It is a constant infection my immune system is containing in the uterus that got there because my cervix is hanging out.. my surgeon said it came as a surprise to find it during my D&C last month as it is very rare and because it is not due to a venereal disease he is not going to give me IV antibiotics until after the surgery, unless I get sick then he wants me in hospital right away. Sooo.. sometimes I get really tired because my body is just being asked to do so much.

My surgeon wants to do as much surgery vaginally as possible because I am having so many procedures done at once and he does not want to add an abdominal wound on top of everything else. However, there will be 2 holes in my groin and another 2 in my lower tummy so that they can fix the sling and the ligament fixture.

I was severely damaged at 17 because I had a 12lbs baby with really bad complications, basically it was a hell of a mess.. not C section there was no time and it would seem that all of this is stemming from that. I honestly did not know my condition was so bad.. I had gotten so used to the problems with going to the toilet and having to push my cervix back in all the time so it didn't catch on things (that was getting and is really irritating) and my surgeon and nurse tell me I will be so much better after surgery and they don't know how the hell I coped for so long.. my surgeon said.. 'you must be one patient woman!' Once I had seen him and found out what he had to say I understood why after the D&C he walked in to the room where my husband was waiting and said to him.. 'she is one hell of a mess down there'. A pessary is not an option for me.. my womb is half out already and this will only get worse.. still.. I am very nervous of the ligament fixture and the future possibility of recurrence of prolapse and also.. something many will relate to here.. although losing my womb has almost become secondary after all of this.. I honestly hate losing my cervix.. and even at 49 it is like.. wow.. omg.. never any more kids and I thank god for the ones I have.

On that note too.. and sorry if I am all over the place.. you younger ones having hysterectomies in your 20's and 30's like my husbands ex wife really make me feel better.. if you can do it and build your life and not see it as an end.. so can I.

So there is where I am trying to be really positive and though I can't get rid of the fear I try to think that I can choose my reaction.. I can choose to make this a new beginning for a new phase of my life.. a time to get fit and strong and slim and active and reinvent myself. I am sure I will find others here amongst the sisters who have done just that!

oh and cblizard.. I was worried about the anaesthetic when I had the D&C last month.. I have woken up twice under anaesthetic in the dentists office and once on the operating table having a D&C back in 1980! However, my anaesthetist was awesome, I knew absolutely nothing till I came round in recovery, no sickness, no coughing.. which had also been problems before.. so they are trying to get me the same man for this surgery so that I will feel more secure.

What kind of dogs? I have 3 brothers, rottweiler/labrador/german shepherd mix - 93lbs and 90lbs respectively and spoiled rotten!

The anesthesia protocol that worked for you last time should be in your records and followed again if necessary. I had 4 different anesthesiologists, but they all followed the same protocol. No problems with any of them.
In my job, I see all sizes and shapes of cats and dogs. No matter who I am dealing with it can be a challenge and usually a good workout! 4 cats, 2 turtles myself, but it always seems that I (I am head technician at my clinic) seeme to get stuck restraining the big dogs no one else can. Oh, BTW, I am only 5'1" and weigh about 106lbs myself! Guess I won't have to restrain any dogs for a while though! Luckily I have 2 big guys working at the clinic now...although they still aren't as good as me! Ha Ha
p.s. you'll feel better once this is all over. At least it's coming up soon and you can start to put it behind you.
Keep in touch!

Hi again, Shantra! BTW, I am owned by two cats!

SOMEWHERE on this site is a list of stuff that is really good to take to the hospital.

For me: EARPLUGS! (the cheap foam kind, in your local hardware store, usually found in the noisy-power-tool department!). Wet wipes! (I got ones for babies, with aloe and no alcohol!

Granny panties one size too large, cotton nightgown also too big! Satiny dressing gown to help slide (gently) off the bed! Lip balm. Get a pedicure just before going in.

I'll shut up - likely someone here knows how to find those postings.

HUGS!

Did I say 3 brothers?? I meant 2!!! sheesh!! I love both of your posts, will reply more later.

Hi Shantra,
I am 44 with a teenage son and will be having TAH, repairs to correct prolapses/hernias of bladder,rectum, and bowel. Also a burch procedural. My husband also went with me to discuss the surgery--long listed things that could go wrong also.

Maybe your husband is very scared. Mine husband doesn't like to talk about this stuff either. I need to discuss every little detail. Have notes on what I need at home, in the hospital, tips to make things easier,etc. My husband just likes to take things as they come where as I need a plan of attack.

Take Care.