Planning family help

Well, it looks as though I'm going to have a TAH sometime in January - I haven't made a decision yet about whether to keep ovaries and cervix, but that uterus has _got_ to go!

I need advice for the recovery period. Specifically, my mother has offered to come in from out of town to help out, and has basically told me to tell her when would be most useful.

The first week is pretty much out, since my partner will be taking that time off to take care of me (and I won't want to see anybody else then anyway), but other than that, I don't know what to tell her. I'm not sure how much help I'm going to need - I'm 44, otherwise healthy, with no kids to worry about and plenty of volunteers to take care of the dog - and I'm not sure whether help later in the recovery period, when I'm feeling well enough to get around a bit but not fully recovered, would be better than help earlier, when I'm stuck at home. If anyone has suggestions, I'd be grateful!

Melissa

Hi Melissa!

I really can't tell you how long you will need help as everyone is different. But, you have to remember that you won't be able to drive for a while...at least until your doctor tells you that you can.

I had a TVH and so I didn't have an external incision and therefore, my recovery was probably somewhat different than someone who had a TAH. My DH took off work for a week and a half. I also had help from DD after school but after a couple of weeks, I was doing well enough to get through the day by myself.

I wasn't allowed to do any lifting, bending or even vacuuming for 6 weeks. At that point, my doctor told me to ease back into my usual activities. It was nice having someone around to do the laundry, cook and do basic cleaning chores while I was prohibited from doing them myself.

Remember to give yourself time to heal and recover. If your doctor says it will take 6 - 8 weeks, then be sure to take that time. Everyone heals differently and at their own pace, so take as long as your body needs.

Best wishes for a successful surgery! s

Deb

Everyone's experience and recovery are different. All I can tell you is what my experience was with a TAH. My mother came to stay the week of my surgery with the idea that I would be in the hospital for three days and she would stay an additional four days beyond that. However, I ended up in the hospital for five days, so she was only with me for two days after I got home.

That second week, DH went back to work and my mother went home, so I was alone most of the day. I barely had enough energy to walk to the bathroom, let alone make my lunch, keep track of my meds schedule, and field phone calls from well wishers. It would have been helpful if my Mom had been there.

In the third and fourth week, it would have been great to have someone to do the laundry and vacuum. By that time I was also getting a little bored. The company would have been very welcome.

It's great that you mother is going to come help you. Maybe you could take stock at the end of that first week and decide then if you need your Mom for week two or if you want her to come a little later.

I had TAH on Nov. 25th.

First week is hard. Stairs were difficult but attainable. I felt better with someone following behind. During the day, I couldn't do anything more than drag my butt to the bathroom and then back to the couch.

Once the staples are removed, I felt it was a little easier to get around.

Second week, I felt a little better, enough to be able to throw some soup in the microwave for my lunch and then back to the couch.

Third week was even better. A little more energy. Standing straighter and able to do more. Was able to drive short distances. Shopped a little. I could fold laundry and put it away but not lift or carry the laundry basket.

Fourth week (now), I am doing really good. Able to make my own lunch, stand for longer periods of time, do some light dusting, empty the dishwasher (light stuff).

So, it is very gradual. You of course may recover differently.

If I had a choice of having someone stay with me, I would have them between week two and three.

Good luck.

Sarah

Thanks - this has been very helpful! Because my mother is older (70), I think I'm going to aim for the beginning of week 3, when with any luck I'll be able to be a little more active. Plus my partner said it would be easier to get time off 2 weeks in a row than staggered.

Now I just have to get a date set so my mom can get her plane ticket....

Again, thank you all for the info! It's much appreciated.

M.