Looking for guidance!

I am brand new to this site. I found out about this from a friend at work who recently had a hytsterectomy. I will have my surgery on January 2nd and I am really scared! I was diagnosed with an enlarged uterus with a fibroid and a cyst on my left ovary. I will be having a full hysterectomy. I only saw my OBGYN once and after a pelvic exam he said that my uterus was enlarged and scheduled me for a pelvic ultrasound. I went back to my OBGYN to ge the results and he just told me very matter-of-fact that I had a fibroid an enlarged uterus and a cyst on my ovary. He did not give me any information on what to expect, what the risks are, etc. I am scheduled to see him again on December 28th. I am hoping that he offers me more information on this subject because I a totally clueless about the whole thing. Also, my husband does not want me to have the surgery. Can you tell I am going through a difficult time with this? I know it is the right thing o do because I a in ALOT of pain all of the time and am hoping that this will stop the pai. Sorry for going on and on!

Hi, Lmendoza! Welcome to HysterSisters--best site for support and comfort and info! All of us were scared facing major surgery, but most of us are so glad we had it and feel much better post surgery and recovery. If you have doubts and your husband is questioning it, don't hesitate to get a second opinion from another dr. You want to feel confident that this is the best treatment at this time and feel you can trust the dr doing your surgery. Read all you can on this site (use the pull-down menus on the front page about pre-op advice, personal stories, etc.) and ask any questions you think of. We'll try to answer them and support you. By your next dr appt. you will know more about what questions to ask him, and hopefully he will spend some time discussing everything with you. You will have to plan on taking 6-8 weeks off for recovery, so that is something to consider. Hugs and best wishes to you!
Ruthie

Welcome to the best site this side of the universe!!! It is an amazing place to be and one that you will find very supportive and full of advice and encouragment. I personally feel that if you know in your heart that a Hyst is the right decision and armed with the evidence that it is for the best, then follow your heart. I do however have concerns with the matter of fact way that the DR you are seeing is relating to you. This is major surgery and I think that every woman owes it to herself before having this kind of surgery, that she finds a DR that is very sympathetic and honest. One who you will have complete trust in and feel comfortable with. Please maybe it is worth looking around for a DR that has a better bedside mannor. Good luck with this and please let us know how it all goes. Hugs Vicki

Hi There!

Welcome to HysterSisters!

I agree with Ruthie and Vicki! You are well within your right to seek a DR you are more comfortable with, and to get a second opinion. This is major surgery, and you will need a DR you are comfortable with and will talk to you about anything you need to talk about regarding it. If/when you do see your current DR, I suggest bringing with you a list of questions and not let him 'dismiss' you from the office until all your questions are answered to your satisfaction.

I also agree that this site has a wealth of insight, starting from the Home Page pull-down menus.... I learned SO MUCH from just those!

Just curious, why doesn't your DH want you to have this surgery? Is it possible for him to join you when you see the DR?

Stick around, sweetie - let us know how things are progressing, and post any time with any further concerns - we are a very sharing bunch and will be here for you throughout your journey.

s,

Hi-
I have to agree with the other ladies in that maybe a second opinion is in order here. You need to be comfortable with your dr. Also maybe this would help your husband.

Regarding your husband. You are going to need his help and support. He needs to understand that. Maybe if you do get a second opinion the dr can reinforce that.

An enlarged uterus and ovarian cyst are nothing to fool around with. I would definetly get all of the medical advice I can and make the best decision based on their knowledge.

Just my thoughts & opinion.

Take Care - RobinS

Hi!

Sorry you are feeling so confused! Some amount of confusion seems to be inevitable. I know I've asked my doc a million questions (I'm scheduled for 1/25.

The gals are right on. You need to feel comfortable about the surgery. Call your doc's office. Maybe move the appointment up so you don't have to be worried so long. Also make sure the scheduler knows you really do want some time to talk. I have 2 pre-op appointments with my doc before surgery - one next week where I get to cry and ask all my silly questions and then one a week before surgery where DH will come and the doc will review in detail everything with both of us. It was my choice to go alone once.

A second opinion is good too. I got 3 opinions before I finally agreed to surgery.

I do have to tell you though that the worry doesn't always go away once you are confident about the surgery. I am confident that I really do need my surgery and now I worry about everything else - what to bring, what recovery will be like, etc. That's why this board is the greatest - you can find lots of gals dealing with the same issues.

I agree with the others. I had my hystero sonnogram this morning. My doctor (who is THE best) said that I'd probably need the hysterectomy anyway but if it would make me feel better I could do this first. (I already scheduled the hyst for next Thursday because my doc IS the best.)

Anyway, they found a tumor/fibroid/something in the uterus. I thought "ok, doc was right, that confirms it" but ran into my doctor on the way out (his day off). I said "you were right, didn't need the sonnogram," This is the kicker - He said, let's talk and we did.

He said that "I" was smarter and now that he has this information, he recommends just taking out the "fibroid/tumor" and that will stop my bleeding and save my uterus. His recomendation was to do this and not rush into hyst.

I guess my point is, you need to be sure. I think the best way to find a good doctor is to ask nurses, especially labor and delivery nurses. Ask female doctors who they go to for their surgerie/OB needs. They KNOW who the good ones are. Don't be embarassed or afraid to shop around. You are the patient/consumer/customer and you need to feel good about your business.

Get another opinion, get the tests you need to be confident with your decision and I wouldn't wait until the day before. Call today. Because of insurance, you may be trying to do something before the end of the year like I am.

And don't mess around with your health if you are confident with the diagnosis deep in your heart. Go with your gut. Sorry, didn't mean to ramble on and on. Please post again and let us know what's going on.

I pray that God will give you the answers and the comfort that you seek.

dlr

I agree that you should satisfy all your own doubts, either through another visit with your DR or a second opinion.

I can relate with your DH's resistance. I was first told that I would need a hysterectomy in the summer, and when I told my husband he blanched and said that he didn't think that would be good. We discussed it and I came to see that he had issues like:

* it will turn you into an old lady
* sexual health
* dangerous surgery (his mother had a bad experience years ago)
* anything unknown is scary

As I continued to get weaker from heavy bleeding and pain which made 21/2 weeks of each month a trial, he came to see the necessity. Plus we got a lot of info (bless this site) and talked to those who had been through it, and he became much more relaxed about it all. It helped that we had the best gynecologist in town, too.

My advice is to seek out info (rid the fear of unknown), talk with your DH about issues that concern both of you, and dispel any myths. You'll find the pull down menus on the Hystersisters homepage invaluable.

Blessings to you as you find what is right for you.

Wishing you a peaceful