No Date: I'm nervous and afraid, but the fibroid has GOT to go!

Hello all,

I've had an intrauterine fibroid (about four inches in diameter when last measured by pelvic ultrasound a few months ago) for several years now, but up until about a month ago it was asymptomatic. Then I started to develop abdominal pain like an internal "pulling" on the abdominal muscles, and my GP came to the conclusion that it was the result of the fibroid pulling on the uterine ligaments.

I was originally on track to get another pelvic ultrasound to see how big the fibroid is currently, but yesterday my GP told me that he'd had a chance to look at the report from the last ultrasound, and that four inches is more than big enough to proceed straight to a gynaecologist without another scan. So he's put me on the fast track to speaking with a surgeon, which means that having my uterus removed is now SO much nearer than it was a couple of days ago.

To tell you the truth, I'm really scared. I've never used my uterus (childless and never wanted any), and three months ago I stopped having periods completely (I'm coming up on 50, so menopause is no real surprise), but... it's part of me, part of what makes me female, and even though I know that having it out won't change who I am (or even my natural hormone levels, since I'm going to insist on leaving the ovaries in), I'm afraid of the surgery, from the preparations for it right through the recovery. I really irrational part of me is completely terrified that I'm not going to wake up from the anesthetic, or that long-term health problems resulting from the surgery will make life very difficult.

I guess I'm just having a hard time dealing with the mental and emotional changes around the idea of having no uterus, and beating myself up for not "getting over it" quicker. Has anyone else felt this way? Do you have any suggestions for coping with it?

I know how you feel, I'm not so nervous about the actual operation, but tense about the recovery.. and I live alone so I have some concerns about how I will manage.

I don't have any children either, always wanted them, but I've had trouble with the whole system since the get go, numerous botched pregnancies... when I was in my early 20's I decided to try and try again until 35.. the year I turned 35 I went and got my motorcycle license - lol

I totally understand the feeling that even tho it never worked, its still a part of my body - I am still waiting for my surgery date - TAH, leaving ovaries in .. i suffer with large fibroids, uterine polyps and severe cervical dysplasia - and the mental issues that come with a pregnant looking belly..sorry I don't have any coping skills to pass on - not yet anyway, but stop beating yourself up this is a time for us to reflect and be nice to ourselves.. you got my support!

Thanks vulcanrider, I appreciate the kind words of encouragement. We'll get through this!

Your welcome, and yes, we will get through this!

My hysterectomy came as a surprise as well. I went in for a tubal ligation and ablation and woke up and the doctor told me he could do neither. He hit a fibroid that we had no idea was there when he went in through my belly button. Long story short, he said it was as big as a baby's head and I needed a hysterectomy. Withing three weeks I had my SAH and am now 7 1/2 weeks post op. I was VERY nervous before surgery and I also was terrified of not waking up and all the what if's and I almost talked myself out of it. But I looked on here and ONLY on here (I knew the kind of horror stories I would probably find if I googled it) and seen several people were very afraid as well. I did get all our papers in order and made sure my hubby knew all info on bills, insurance, ect... just in case. For me, the anxiety of waiting for the surgery was worse than the surgery and the recovery. If the anxiety gets too bad, don't be afraid to ask your doctor for something for it until your surgery.

Thank you, Rhodes -- it's great to hear from folks who have been through it and came out the other side okay. I'll likely be taking similar precautions with my husband to make sure that if anything happens he's all set up. It's a relief to know that I'm not the only person who's ever had a bad case of nerves, LOL...

I know exactly how you feel and wish you all the best. My symptoms are almost identical and while I was reluctant at first to have the hysterectomy, the pain is now so awful I am just counting the days. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Thank you, QueenC! Sorry to hear you're having such an awful time, but glad to see that your own surgery is very close. Best of luck to you!