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New and One week b/4 surgery
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10-12-2006, 04:13 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 14
Hysterectomy: October 19th, 2006
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New and One week b/4 surgery
Hello--I'm new to this site. I'm one week away from my surgery and beginning to get anxious. I have been waiting to have this done for about two years and my doctor has finally agreed to do it. My problem is I feel so alone. I have been doing all I can to get my house, kids, husband ready for this to happen. I have shopped, cooked, and cleaned. I've made lists and more lists...I'm sure my husband will do his very best. What makes me sad is not one of my friends has asked me if there is something she could do to help me out when I'm recovering. Not one has offered to help out. Actually, today I said I was anxious about being alone when my husband goes back to work that Monday and one of the gals replied--why would you need help? What would you need help with? It disappointed me. Am I being too sensitive? Am I expecting too much? Is it just society today? I'd be interested in hearing if anyone else has felt this way. maybe I just need to buck up.
mare
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10-12-2006, 05:00 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 561
Hysterectomy: August 29th, 2006
Surgery Type: LSH
Ovaries: Removed both
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New and One week b/4 surgery
Let's face it. We live in a fast paced world these days. And because of that, a lot of people don't stop to think what is happening to other people and what they are going through.
I think I might have been disappointed too. But the next time you bring it up, maybe try filling them in on the recovery process - no lifting, bending, driving, difficulty just moving around the house, etc. Maybe they just don't know all the things you WON'T be able to do for possibly up to six weeks - maybe more depending on surgery. So the next time they ask what you need help with, tell them! Maybe they don't know how to help.
Good luck!
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10-12-2006, 05:17 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 70
Hysterectomy: October 18th, 2006
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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New and One week b/4 surgery
Mayzee-
I know EXACTLY how you feel....neither my friends or my sisters have offered any type of support. Maybe my hormones are taking over and I'm feeling just a wee bit sorry for myself but gosh darn it, if the tables were turned, I'd be right there for any one of them!
Would your husband feel comfortable asking them for help? Maybe coming from him, they may realize just how limited you'll be
s to you- and good luck next week
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10-12-2006, 06:00 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 769
Hysterectomy: September 25th, 2006
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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New and One week b/4 surgery
Isn't it a shame that our "in person" friends are too busy to notice but our "on line" friends are here day and night with encouraging words! I have no magic pill for the insensitive way people act. It drives me nuts too. But I know one thing for sure -- I am going to be a whole lot more helpful when I hear someone else is having surgery from now on. I was never a lug about it -- but now will definitely do more to help my friends and neighbors!
And as a new sister on this site, you'll learn quickly that we are one great big community of sisters who are always willing to give advice , lend an ear , and just be downright silly sometimes.
Best wishes ~
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10-12-2006, 06:22 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 635
Hysterectomy: October 3rd, 2006
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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New and One week b/4 surgery
well you have found a good place.....
here you will find loads of support and many to hold your hand emotionally while you go through this
I too, had no help ,,,, not even from my mother (she has her own issues of drinking and still, nine days after my surgery has not even asked one of my sisters nor called me to see how i am doing) and my sisters,,,, not one of them has come to the house to offer help or see me (I guess living half hour away is too far for them)
All will work out sweetie,,, I can promise you this.... from one hystersister to another that has no support,,,, you WILL get through this
and as far as being anxious,,,, holly hanna girl,,,, you are a week away,,,,, you would not be normal if you were not nervous and anxious and moody and close to tears one minute and angry the next,,, waiting,,, oh the waiting game,,,, it is soooooo hard, maybe the hardest part on ones nerves....
hugs,,, keep posting to keep venting
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10-12-2006, 06:47 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 200
Hysterectomy: November 7th, 2006
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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New and One week b/4 surgery
I know exactly how you feel. One of my best friends just had TAH in July and I spent a day at her house cleaning because she'd been too tired to do anything before she went in and I didn't want her overdoing it when she got home. We are both single parents and I took off work the day of her surgery to be with her kids (and mine). They say do onto others...
But now that it's my turn, I've been very disappointed in the way my friends and my sister have reacted. I go above and beyond for everyone around me, but when I need them, they all disappear.
You have a great place where the sisters are so supportive and always willing to listen. Just reading everyone's posts is so reassuring and leaves me feeling like there are people out there who really do care. Even if they've never seen me, I know they are pulling for me and always there to offer a
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you a speedy recovery and the hope that your friends see that you need all the help you can get right now.
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10-12-2006, 07:44 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 995
Hysterectomy: September 19th, 2006
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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New and One week b/4 surgery
I am sorry your friends are not being more supportive, just tell them what you need and let them know that it will take 6mos to a year for you to be fully healed. This is a great place to come when you need to ask a question or just need a hug!
Good Luck and speedy recovery to you.
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10-12-2006, 07:51 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 135
Hysterectomy: August 30th, 2006
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Thinking of you
Hugs for a fellow Michigander!
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10-13-2006, 06:12 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 181
Hysterectomy: October 19th, 2006
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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New and One week b/4 surgery
Welcome Aboard Mayzee....
we r here for U....it is indeed very sad that ur friends have not
offered their help but hopefully it will sink in and they will all pitch in
with helping hands....Good Luck on ur journey to the CASTLE....
i am also 1 week away....i have no immediate family close by and they do wish they could be here to help but my gal pals and my fiance
will be here for me....i feel very blessed....
Take Care & keep us posted.....HUGS
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10-13-2006, 07:54 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 14
Hysterectomy: October 19th, 2006
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New and One week b/4 surgery
Thanks everyone, for you kind words of encouragment. It is the unknown that frightens me. I am not one to sit still for long. If there is something I can accomplish around the house before I hit the sheets, I'll do it. I rarely sit and veg in front of the TV and unfortunately I am a freak about keeping my house in order. This will be tough. Maybe I need new friends because it isn't the first time I have felt abandoned. I know my hormones are going a little nuts too. I know there is a lot of info about recovery time but can anyone tell me exactly how it was for them (I know I will recover differently because we are all different) I plan to have it done vaginally, they are taking everything, ovaries too. I know vaginally I'll have a quicker recovery time, but will taking everything make it longer?
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