peoples reactions to surgery

I am wondering if anyone has had the same experience as I have. I have told a few women about my surgery after having it done. (I'm 15 days into healing). And it's strange. No one wants to say anything. So there's an awkward silence. Or if it's an email, there's no response. My family is lovely. These are friends, and women who signed up to help out. Has anyone else experienced this and do you have any ideas on what it's about?
A good friend of mine has not said a word, but her husband has been so supportive. Perhaps they are careful of my privacy, or maybe it's a bit scary to consider?

sometimes when people don't know what to say, they shy away and say nothing. Maybe they are afraid of saying something stupid or insensitive. Maybe they just don't understand enough about this surgery and don't want to appear ignorant. Whatever the reason, you can bring it up and if they don't respond then that is on them not you.

You rest and I will pray that there will be someone who you can share what you are going through with. hugs

Silence is usually a sign of people not knowing what to say and/or worried about saying the wrong thing. Sometimes people also assume the worst. Many people thought I had cancer and gave me the "look" when I told them fibroids are usually benign tumours. It wasn't until I got the pathology report back that those people believed me. Your friends are surely there for you but are also probably so worried that they are afraid to upset you by making the wrong comment.

People don't know what to say to me and if I had a nickel for everytime someone said "But you're so young!" I would bea very rich person right now! I am 30 and had hysterectomy 3 days ago for endometriosis.

Yes, this is all very true...they don't know what to say. I have gotten sympathy looks..I have gotten "I'm sorry"..but to me this was a good thing to have done. My lifestyle will change as soon as recovery is over. I will no longer be in pain and I won't have to deal with those dreadful periods! YAY ME!

Just remember, nobody truly "understands" what you are going through. Only you. Others can sympathize but nobody truly understand except for YOU. And that is what matters the most.

Best to you and your recovery and a new chapter in your life!

People just don't know what to say..so silence is what you get.
I've gotten the "I'm sorry" response too..and I just say "don't be sorry, I've been waiting for this for a long time!"
the thing that frustrates me the most is my hubby..he's been almost absent since I went into the hospital and when I ask him for help, he says later..so don't know if he's scared or if he doesn't realize ..
I don't know.

I was told by my mother not to tell anyone what kind of surgery I was having. She said that there is a stigma attached to the word hysterectomy. She said people have a way of making it look bad, especially men. I told her I would not be ashamed of something that was saving my life. However, she was right and I seen that when I told my sisters. Ignorance comes from not truly understanding why your having the surgery. In the end I ended up telling a lie about what I had done not because I was shame but because the reaction from my sisters made me realize that others would be worse. People think that a 31 year old woman should not be having this because only worn out women who have lived a hard life and body is felling needs this. I'm 31 true but far from worn out seeing as I've only been with one man who is my husband since age 15. So yeah peoples reaction cam be hurtful, rude and ignorant. Sorry to rant but it makes me mad that people act craZy simply because they don't understand.

Yes people are a bit strange about it. My experience though was after talking to several close relatives of mine, I couldn't get any real info on what it was like. Everybody just had platitudes, you know the usual "this too will pass" aso but no forthcoming info on how they dealt with the surgery and recovery. Now every one of them told me it was the best thing they ever did so that was encouraging. I had my tah 3 days ago and am doing pretty good. I had 3 csections and its very similar. This site will give u the best Info ever because evrybody is very candid about their experience. And stigma my foot, a 100 years ago women probably died of these issues we're having and getting fixed. I'm glad I had it done. Had everything taken out and good riddance!

Thank you to everyone for all of your responses, ideas, and sharing. I do think that every one of you had something valuable for me to consider. I've decided that I need to let this go, and not feel hurt or ignored, but rather consider what I will do or say when some one tells me she's this or some other kind of surgery. I guess I am saying that I will learn from this.
I believe that it can be hard to know what to say, hard to feel ones own fear, hard to look at a younger woman and know how to be present without causing more upset. I am 55, so that last piece is not what is happening for me.
You know, I think the notion of a bit of a stigma does exist, and I don't want to encourage that. So I too will be grateful that I did this, and that I will not have the ovarian cancer that runs in my family. I will also continue to share, in order to get the notion of hysterectomies out from the shadows! Blessings to all of us!

there is a bit of a stigma..although I don't know why...but for the past few days, we've had a running joke in our family and it's seemed to lighten the mood..and has actually started some conversation to help the kids understand..and in turn, their friends,etc.
We had company the other day, and the daugther asked me how I was feeling after my "vasectomy"...LOL..so we explained the difference and actually realized that our own girls didn't really know what my surgery was all about even though I thought I had explained it to them..so now they've been a lot better with helping, etc.
and if they feel I'm doing too much, they tell me "mom, sit down..you have to rest after a vasectomy, you know"...LOL..