last minute jitters

I am scheduled for my TAH and possible BSO 7-3-06. I went to the doctor today for my pre-op appointment. My husband has been very supportive and is spending his vacation taking care of me. I am 31 and have 3yro and 9yro daughters. I work fulltime and also take a college course online. I do not have much time anyway, what should I be doing to prepare for the surgery. Is there any suggestions of things I can do to prepare the home and my daughters for the surgery.

Does anyone have trouble with responses from other people. I have had several people ask me what type of surgery I am having? The first thing they ask is it necessary or you just want to. How many people would put their body through this if it wasn't necessary?

Sometimes I feel OK about the surgery and other times I am scared and nervous. I know the surgery is the right thing to do, but sometimes I would rather live with the pain than have to listen to some the responses I get. I am having the surgery due to endo, adhesions, fibroid and cyst. I have been dealing with this for 8.5 years. I have 2 small children and feel like I put my life on hold with them due to the pain, fatigue, etc. I have a co worker who is very unsupportive and thinks I should have tried other options. I have tried every option offered by my doctor. I am tired of running to the doctor and not getting any better. I feel like I spend life at the doctor and could be spending that quality time with my children.

I am sorry the message is so long. I really needed to vent. I am having very mixed feelings and anxiety.

Hi Lovetosew!
It's totally normal to have last minute jitters sweetie! We have all had them pre-op to one degree or more. If you have been dealing with your problems for 8.5 years you are going to feel so much better afterwards. I had a total of 10 surgeries before my hysterectomy ranging from my cesarian with my son to gallbladder surgery but this one scared me because of how long it takes to recover. For me the first few weeks were the hardest and then all of a sudden I felt soooo much better and I was so happy I went through with it!
We are all here for you.... vent as much as you need to.
HUGS

Hi Lovetosew...I had a TAH on 6/8 (kept ovaries). My DS(s) are older (16 & 19) so I did not have the child care issue. It is great that your DH is taking vacation time to help - mine took what he could (started new job 2 months prior - not any real time to take) and he was a Godsend, as were and are the DS(s). I dealt with my issues (fibroids, unbelievably heavy bleeding and finally a prolapsed uterus with my cervix outside my vagina) since 1992...and even though the recovery time for hysterectomy is kind of long and a 2 steps forward, 1 back kind of thing - it is the best thing I could have done - and now I wonder why I put up with the mess for so long. As for commentary from others, well meaning and otherwise, you need to remember why YOU need to do this and as long as it makes sense to you, your loved ones and your MD - you can probably stop all others with a comment that you are having a hysterectomy and would they really like all the "gory" details? When I asked my co-worker with the know it all attitude and intact uterus if she would like to walk a mile in my shoes and put up with menstrual flooding, cramps like you were being torn in two, a belly that looked like I was 5 months pregnant, and a prolapsed uterus with a cervix hanging between your legs (that ALWAYS gets them) - she had nothing more to say.

As far as the pre-surgery jitters...we all have them in some form or another - I dealt with mine by cleaning my house to military sparkle, made a lot of meals to freeze - just add bagged salad and dinner is served, washed every item of clothing in the house it seemed. My DH called it nesting (kind of like right before having a baby)and stayed out of my way. I was fine until I walked up to the reception desk at the castle to give my name and THEN I lost it...the anesthesiologist (sp) wanted to give me "happy juice" right away - I resisted (strong woman that I was attempting to be) until he insisted - and he was right. It will be OK - it has been for me and the hundreds of your "sisters" right here.

Sorry it's so long - good luck to you!!!

Dear "LoveToSew",
Vent away, Darlin! This is the place for it.

Those who haven't been through the day-in, day-out pain and agony just don't have a clue. When someone had the nerve to ask me what kind of surgery I was going to have (or had), I politely started giving details. If they really didn't care or were just being nosy, they'd quickly end the conversation and scurry away!

About your co-worker that disagrees with your decision, I say to HECK with her. There are certain people put on this planet to make things difficult for the rest of us and I'd say she's one of them! Unless she's paying for the surgery, I'd say MYOB. (She's probably ticked that she may have to do more work while you're out. It'll do her good...)

I was scared silly before surgery, but everything turned out so well. One year ago, I was a basket case, expecting the worst. In all honesty, my only regret if not having it done 5 years ago.

Check out the pre-op forum. I remember seeing checklists and suggestions on getting prepared. The biggest helps to me were: food in the freezer, a clean(ish) house before I left for the hospital, a room prepared just for me, laundry completed, etc. You'll never feel completely ready, but I'm here to tell you most things can wait.

One of the best things we purchased was an elevated/raised toilet seat (husband's idea at the hospital) that mounts to the existing seat. It made getting up and down SO much easier. He purchased it at a home health/medical supply company.

I hope this isn't TMI, but be proactive about bowel movements. From the beginning, drink lots of water, walk as much as possible, take stool softeners, and/or consider dried apricots/prunes. My doctor was adament about this and I had no problems.

I wish you the very best. One year from now, you'll be giving advice and offering comfort. Take care!

Hi Love To Sew,

I too am scheduled the same day as you 7/3, Monday Morning bright and early 6:00 a.m. I had my pre op today and that went well, it was very thorough and comforting.
It is not going to be easy for us but we will get thru it one day at a time.
Don't feed into what others think, it's too much of a waste of your energy, keep the focus on yourself and your family.
Make yourself a promise that from this day forward you are not going to discuss your healh issues with anyone other than your doctor and family. That's your business.
Sometimes other people just love to thrive on others peoples pain. Then they don't have to think about themselves.
You have a long journey in front of you, stick here with the sisters, thay understand and will help you every step of the way. Vent, vent, vent.

Our time is approaching fast. Have you packed your castle bag. Need any ideas on what to bring? If so we can help.

My best wishes to you. Don't forget to stop and breathe. Take a nice deep breath and be still when it gets too much.


Liz

I know all about this, because I have a big mouth and I always tell too much of my business. LOL My surgery is a week from today, and to tell the truth I cannot wait for it all to take place. I postponed it and postponed it, then cancelled it, two years ago. I have a big belly, constant pressure on the back and legs, no more bleeding thank God, but when I did have the bleeding it was awful. I would be on line to check out at a store and have to go home.

Most people could never understand what it takes to make a decision about something like this until they actually have to face it. For younger women it has to be very difficult. For some one like me (56) it's a whole different thing. People my age almost expect us to have this surgery, and them they make light of it!! Like what is the big deal?? Come on!! I look pregnant and have an impossible time shopping. I have to pee all the time, i really mean that. I can't drink coffee or a bottle of water unless I know there is a bathroom nearby. Forget about going to the beach or wearing a bathing suit. I love the summer (theoretically) but haven't participated in a summer vacation in I don't know how long.

So for me it is a quality of life issue, I think. I am more than ready. Don't let anyone second-guess your decision for you. It was hard enough for you to make the decision!! With the symptoms you decscribe you are entitled to relief. I am amazed that your co-worker would be so outspoken about something like this.

I wish you a safe surgery and an easy recovery. I am keeping all of us "July girls" in my prayers.

love, Ruthie

Hi there.......Listen up!!!! The last thing you need right now is some nosey know-it-all (that knows nothing) about what you are facing giving you their opinion. It makes me angry to think someone has that kind of nerve. You poor thing having to listen to that. I agree with the lady that said don't even discuss you health issues and choices with certain people. I know you need to talk about this, because I surely do, but be selective with whom you share.. this forum is great!!!! These ladies will encourage and support you with whatever decisions you make. They have been though it or are going through it so they are informed and sympathectic. To heck with what others say is right!!!! This is between you and your husband and God... no one else!!!! God bless and the best of health and recovery to you!!!!

Hello!

I just wanted to offer my 2 cents...from one 31 year old endo plus other sufferer with 2 smallish children to another....

My surgery was on the 21st. I was very lucky in that my Dh used his vacation as well to stay with me until the 5th. My kids are at Nana''s 3000 miles away, and come home on Saturday.
I know other ladis have said this and I will say it again...this is your body and your decision. the comments are not going to go away, even after the surgery. If you are walking hunched over and someone says, are you ok...you say, i just had surgery, they say..what kind? blah blah blah and on and on.
I just had to tune them out.
To tell you the truth, this surgery is the one thing in my life (other than DH nad kids) that has actually made me stronger. I had no choice about having it, I got sick of defending it and trying to make other people ok with it (why do we do that? Why did I care if someone else understood my surgery?) So, essentially, when they removed my uterus, they replaced it with a steel set of...well, you know whats. And I dont feel the need to explain, or let other people's opinions effect me.
My hysterectomy has been like a self image boot camp.
I will be honest and say that much of my training has come right here on this site. I would be a mess without my sisters here.
All of us have vented here, about the big and the small, and I gaurentee you will always get a response from your sisters.
So, vent away and feel confident in your decision. We support you...but, most importantly, YOU know your body better than anyone. You dont have to justify your decisions.

Hello Sister! I had my TAH/BSO done for the same reasons you are. I was very jittery before. As a matter of fact the night before we got a hurricane come through and then I lost a filling in my mouth. MAN...what a night that was...LOL!!!!
The best things that helped me get ready was to get my house ready, fill my pantry and fridge, had items laid out on my nightstand (thermometer, tissues, pain killer, etc...)and put comfy clothes out in an easy to reach spot. I think given your age you might be pleansantly surprised by how well you will recover. I'm 37 and I thought I would be in much more pain and immobile for weeks but in fact I went off the painkillers within days of coming home and have driven my car short distances in the last two days. But I think it be wise to have back up plans too for your kids for when your husband runs out of time. My son is ten and able to entertain himself when I need to lay down. He's also helped a great deal with housework as I am heeding the advice of all the sisters and not bending or reaching very much. You'll gets lot of advice about how you get only one time to heal, and how to take care of the princess, please heed it all. One sister in the post op today shared with us that she didn't heed the advice and now has complications. Know that you are not alone and we are all here for you. Let us know how everything is going. HUgs

emichal,

Awesome! Truly awesome! You get the Hyster Sister Award for telling it like it its!!! Great advice, I feel stronger just reading it! I'm on your soapbox for sure! We don't have to any crap from anyone! What we are sacrificing is huge, we are in the driver's seat, no one else has to go thru what we do (the surgery and the years of issues that come before it, the pains, the losses, etc. and now, I hope as you've said "It Actually Made Me Stronger" . Those words hit me like a rock in the head. I've developed this attitude this week (my surgery is less than 5 days away) that I am doing this for me, I am tired of living like this and explaining myself and making excuses because my body is in peril (gyno speaking) Enough is enough! My husband has been a total moron but has been for a long time. We don't get along at all. It's a shame. Rotten marriage. I am packing up his weekend stuff and he's going out on our boat for the weekend with my 9 yr old daughter. I can't get them out of here quick enough, so I can go thru my final days with my uterus and feel what I have to feel and do what I have to do and prepare myself mentally & physically for Monday. I have been snapping at everyone, trying to quit smoking too. Every single time my husband opens his rude mouth I want to run out and smoke. I'm trying so hard to cut the smokes out entirley before Sunday. I did real good today. Smoked 7 instead of 16 or 20. That is huge for me. I've smoked for 30 years. I gotta give myself a hand for trying so hard. I don't know if I can do it, but I am trying. The less or none I can be smoking by Sunday the better for me. There's no suppport here. I am only going to to do the best I can.

Okay now I'm gonna vent my blood is fired up. I am so mad at my husband, which is a daily ritual. I'm trying to blow it off immediately because he zaps all my energy. I keep telling myself he is sick and on pain meds and is in his own misery pot. So it's very easy for him to open his mouth and spew the garbage at us because he isn't well. I am so tired of being his punching bag. He'll be back on Sunday night so he can take me to the Hospital by 6o a.m.
Everyday has been about his pain (it feels like) since September 05. He got hurt at work for the 2nd time (ist was 4/05 out for 2 months)and has been out on Comp ever since. We are awaiting approval for his spine surgery. Yesterday we sat at the disability lawyers office for 2 hours + traveling. Today we spent 3 hours at his Insurance Medical Exam, first waiting almost 2 hours then another hour with the doctor + traveling. The doctor had a 4" file and why beacuse I made sure they had all the proper documents and I've kept all the records and spent countles hours on the phones with doctors, PT's lawyers, etc. Copies and notes and his pain everyday. Don't get me wrong I do feel sorry for him, but he takes me for granted and does not appreciate any of the leg work I've done to get us where we are today. He wants everything yesterday. He was raised by parents who never learened or said thank you or can I help you. He is a taker, I am a giver. I'd give the shirt off my back to just about anyone. And then he has the nerve to critize me for the way I do things. I spent 5 years as a court clerk and many years in medical offices. When he got hurt I nursed him back on his feet, I researched everything. I know what we are facing with disability & SSDI and trying to get him approved and then he can get perm disability and his retirement. I am sick of being his door mat. I can't wait to go to the hospital and be away from his pain for a change. It's going to be very interesting here when I return and am in agony the first few days. He is going to cook, which he never does. He's gonna have to do what I do and he can. He can function. He lives in pain everyday, but he can still walk and talk and sit and move. Enough to be able to take care of light things around here. I'm not expecting much. I made a list of dinners and shopped today, there's not an inch of space in my refridge & freezer.
I know pain all to well and what it drives a person to. My gyno history has plagued me since I was 13 years old. I'm ready to free myself now. I'm 45 and can't handle the rivers of periods and painful ovulation and endometriosos anymore. We are also losing our health insuarance in a few months, so it's now or never. If my endo gets bad I'm up a creek, can't just go get it zapped again. Who will pay, we can't.
We are getting closer to his disabilty getting finalized, but sometimes I don't know if we're gonna tear each other apart before we get there. The financial part is killing us both, spending our years of savings to stay afloat and it just gets harder. His surgery is going to be in October, hopefully. I'm getting mine now so I can hopefully be all mended up and well enough to take care of him after his. His surgery is also major spine surgery with a fusion at a few levels. His doctor told him he will never be able to return to his job as a bridge painter even after the surgery. He thinks he has pain now, he has no idea. The man has never had surgery in his life. I had cervical spine surgery in 1991 so I know it well. Plus all my gyno surgeries. L& R Ectopics, and more. Recovery is long & slow.

Okay enough venting! That's good, I feel better now!!

I love your warning message, I noticed it last week. I wanted to write you then, because I am the same way. I tell it like it is! No tip toeing for me!

Thanks for being a Sister, you really focused me after a long hard day.

I made my jello for poor me for Sunday when the liquid diet begins. I got my stuff in a pile for the hospital, just gotta pack it. I cut the clothing items in half (I mean removed them) I decided 2 Hanes T-shirts & a robe is fine annd a few different types of underwear, socks, slippers, lip stuff, my tummy pillow and elastic waist band, plus the toiletries, magazine, medical notes, etc.
Tomorrow I am doing the beds and floors and that's it. Sunday I do the "bowel blast" that should be a pian in the a-- literally speaking. Oh I have a tip for that too should anyone else read this. I've done this citrate of magnesia before and it can get pretty sore, so what worked for me was to put on some prep-H before and in between those lovely bathroom trips. It really does help. Isn't that nice they want to send you to the hospital with a sore butt, not me, ain't gonna be sore with that little trick.

Anyway, this week did go by pretty fast, I can't believe tomorrow is Friday already.

And like you said, if it wasn't for these boards and Sisters I would not be sitting here right talking to anyone so that is major!!!!!

Mucho, Mucho Thank you!
Liz