Is something wrong with me??????

I havent posted in DAYS and honestly Ive been scared to.. I dont understand whats happening to me or why.. I dont go in for my 6wk check up until the 26th and I just seen my therapist for the first time in 5wks yesterday and he knows so I am trying to find answers before I came back here. But I cant take it any more and Ive got to know if any one else has been through this and if it gets better????? Here it goes: Ok , if anyone finds this and they know me then you know about all the boys I have. Well Im a very protective mother over some extremely wonderful boys and as my head clears and reality comes back Im finding myself freaking out when I think about my baby pocket being gone. The protection for them. That scares me just as fast and just as hard as the fact that Im relieved and I will never have pain and flooding blood spills ever again. The two thoughts collide,ya know? As soon as I think of one the other slides in just as fast. I have a panic disorder so this just enhances everything,one reason why I have a therapist. Yes , I know I should ask my doctor and talk to my therapist about this and I am.It would just be nice to know that Im not the only one. I do still have my overies, is that what it is???? Are they in somekind of overdrive right now cuz they dont have a uterus to beat up any more???? Of course I didnt have my peiod on the 27th but I didnt notice cuz I was still "recoverying". Tonight I bought a new calender for the new year and wasmarking things off on it and actually went to mark my period day........ I just stood there in shock about what I was about to do.Um , huh? BAMMMMM!!!!!! Both thoughts hit me at the same time, joy and fear...I have a huge lump in my throat just typing this but Ive got to know if ANYONE has been through this. And Im sitting here til I get a respond. Ladies , PLEASE HELP ME

Nothing is wrong with you, remember you just had major surgery.
I had a tubaligation 12 years ago, I have 3 children, from a previous marriage, DH was never able to have children, and those thoughts have crossed my mind still.
I would assume that your ovaries are still a bit out of whack, it takes time for them to adjust after surgery. DH teases me often about the waterworks that come out of no where.
You are not alone, and you are not losing it. I'm sure you will feel better after you speak with your Dr.

Ive had such a good recovery, but I NEVER expected all these flooding emotions. I have such a headache from over thinking it. ow long does it take to get used to not marking the calender,for instance. I couldnt believe I was about to mark my day down. That was a weird moment,ya know

OOPS, Hello Jessica. You had the same surgery I did. Did you heal well too? My recovery was easy after I finally went #2. Wow, what an experience,LLLLOOOLLLL.

My tubes had been tied for 11yrs before this surgery. Never having kids again wasnt the probem.Its the pocket thing,protection,for my kids. Like its all just GONE now,metaphorically speaking. IDK

I think you were lucky to be able to mark the calender, mine was always a surprise(very painful and messy) visit.
I have also found that even though I was always extremely organized, pre-op, now I am so scatter brained I'm lucky to find my but with both hands.
My older sister had the same procedure a little over a year ago, ao between her and this site I have kept myself from believing I'm a basketcase. Granted I still think it from time to time I just don't believe it.
Sis keeps telling me, it will take some time for me to feel "normal" again.
In some instances, it can be at least a year. Not the hormonal things, more the discomfort issues. Hormones should work themselves out fairly soon.
As always, if your not sure, check with Dr. That is why you hired him/her.

My recovery is going pretty good, I can always tell when I have done to much. I don't have to rush anything since I am not expected to work again until April.
As far as the protection for your kids thing, that comes from you, not from the uterus that has been torturing you. If you have your heart removed than that could be a problem. jk

LOL,Thanks Jessic

I guess the new calender was just a shock. My monthlys never were predictable either but I always had a round-about time marked. Its strange to think that I never have to "think" about that again.. It was such a HUGE part of my life and PAINFULLLLL too. Im so extremely glad that is all gone it is justthe rest of it that has me going. And I get it, its just the healing, but boy o boy what a flood of emotion... Im so gladI have a therapist, more so now than ever before

Anytime, you can PM me if you are "freaking out" in the future.
Have a great night. No worries.