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Hysterectomy in 2 days, 11/17 (I missed the open house forum)
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11-15-2016, 10:27 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 8
Hysterectomy: November 17th, 2016
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Hysterectomy in 2 days, 11/17 (I missed the open house forum)
hi all! I am having surgery in 2 days and now im starting to get nervous. Im having a lap hysterectomy, keeping overies but taking all the rest due to endometriosis. Ive had 4 laps in the last 2 years, and the longest they lasted was a year. That was while taking lupron injection. Hot flashes at 30- that was fun! Lol but at least it was med induced. I did 12 months of lupron, and it wore off before it was supposed to the beg of sep. I had another lap after and dr found one spot. He has suggeated hyst. For while but knew I wasnt ready so didnt push it. I finally decided to do it. Dont have children and have no plans for them. My bf and I have been together for over 5 yrs and he has been so amazing through this. I think my mom is having thehardest time. She is grieving the idea of no grandkids, whixh I completely understand. I know I will feel some sadness and different emotions, but right now all I feel is pain and I just want it gone! Any advice on how to help a parent who doesnt understand why im doing this? This is also a private matter from the rest of my family. I dont want to be judged.**im so glad I found this site! It has helped so much just reading what others wrote. Sorry this is long.*Steph
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11-15-2016, 01:06 PM
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Posts: 16,835
Hysterectomy: February 21st, 2013
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Surgery in 2 days (I missed the open house forum)
Hi Steph and a warm welcome,
While I can't offer any first hand experience about dealing with your mom's possible disappointment, I am hoping others will be able to share their experiences.
Now is the time you must focus on your own mental, spiritual and physical health.
I can totally understand your desire to keep your surgery a private matter. Because we live in an age of tweeting and posting our whereabouts - we may forget we are all entitled to our privacy. I applaud you for taking control of who you wish this information me shared with.
My mom told my aunt and my brother - big sigh - which started a huge conversation about my surgery throughout the whole blabbermouth family network. Comments were made that were less than "supportive". From than on, all updates were on a "need to know" basis
I am happy you have a wonderful BF who will give you the support you deserve.
Have confidence in yourself for making such an important decision.
Hugs and we are all here for you on your journey.
Here is a link with tips you may find helpful:
How to Prepare For Your Hysterectomy
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11-15-2016, 03:14 PM
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Posts: 15,365
Hysterectomy: November 29th, 2005
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Surgery in 2 days (I missed the open house forum)
(((Steph))) I had never planned on having children and had been married over a decade when I had my hyst due to cancer, so my mom had already accepted the idea and never expected anything different. Having children is a huge responsibility and one of life's monumental tasks, IMHO, so one shouldn't be expected to have them out of obligation or guilt but because you truly want them. In your case, there are medical issues and real pain and quality of life concerns which I'm sure your mother does understand, even if there is disappointment. And, you probably know that endometriosis can make conception difficult even if you were trying, so that decision might have been out of your hands, regardless. I'm sure in time, your mother's feelings will resolve and acceptance will take their place. Deep in her heart, what your mother wants most of all is for you to be healthy and happy. Sending hugs and all good thoughts your way.
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11-15-2016, 04:28 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 36
Hysterectomy: November 17th, 2016
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Surgery in 2 days (I missed the open house forum)
I think your mom will adjust. Having you healthy is worth 10 grandkids.
Don't be afraid to tell people to mind their own business. I'm taking the opposite route. My last procedure I kept quiet, everyone had a fit. So I'm broadcasting this one loud and clear. No "woman issues" or whispers. It's pretty freeing actually. But I understand wanting it quiet, if it weren't for my large loving extended family I would as well.
And FYI, tell your mom, I think my grandmother loves her granddogs as much as her grandkids, so there's always that. You being healthy and pain free is the important thing.
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11-15-2016, 05:08 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 8
Hysterectomy: November 17th, 2016
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Surgery in 2 days (I missed the open house forum)
Thank you all sooo much! You have no idea how much it means to have supportive ladies I dont even know on my side. My mom has been supportive, but she says she is just having a hard time. She hates to see me in pain as well of course. Its hard for her npt to talk to her family about it, but I know how word spreads in my family and I dont want to be the topic of gossip in another state. Extended fam is in fl. Mom brother and I am in tn. This will be my 7th surgery, so im npt worried about that thanl you all soo much!!
Steph
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11-15-2016, 06:57 PM
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Posts: 17,510
Hysterectomy: May 17th, 2011
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Surgery in 2 days (I missed the open house forum)
Hi stephe4him2016 -
I never wanted children either, and neither did my DH. This is an important and personal decision that everyone makes. You do not owe your mom grandchildren. You need to take care of your health, and do what is best for you. I am sure the logical side of your mom understands this, but the emotional side is having some issues. Just keep firm that this is your life and your decision. She will come around.
The news of my surgery was told to just a few family members, my work and DH's work - only those who needed to know. I think it is good that you control who knows this. This is also your decision, not hers.
I am so glad your BF is being supportive. Here is a site he might want to read to help him further understand what you will be facing: Mister HysterSisters. Here also are 10 Tips for Preparing for Your Hysterectomy. Be sure to read the related articles.
Just know that you are not alone in any of this. We are here for you.
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