Two days before hysterectomy (5/7): Emotional Meltdown, please help me.

So I am less then 48 hrs from surgery, and I am losing it. I barely slept any last night. I am so stressed out. I am not scared, just nervous. Over the past few days, I have been getting VERY emotional and its getting worse. For example, Crying over stuff on TV, Thinking about my kids as babies, crying over everything.
I am bi polar but well controlled with medication. I am not sure if I am hitting a depressive cycle, or if this is just normal pre surgery meltdown, and I am scared to ask the doc because I don't want him to cancel my surgery for any reason.
I have been crying on and off all morning since I woke up.) It started when I woke my 10 yr old daughter up for school and seen that she had wrote on her legs bag things about herself ( for example, she wrote on herself that ''her name, is a fat ***** and a lot of other crap like that ) . We started her in counseling a few months back after she started cutting at herself, I thought we were doing good but this new writing bad stuff about herself on herself sure seems like a setback to me. I feel like a complete failure as a parent. And now I know she needs more therepy, but for a few weeks I won't be in any postion to be able to take her more. I feel like I am putting my health before her's.

Then I got on here and seen the mothers day post an started bawling. I don't even want anymore kids but I am just so sad that now I CAN"T have them. I feel so selfish saying that because I know some woman can't have them at all and I was blessed with 2 healthy ones and I shouldn't complain. Its just like I feel like they are taking the part of me that mad me a mom though in my eye's , and I am so sad about that. ( I do relize that that's not what made me a mom, that's just how it feels)

I have a pregnant friend who has the same doc as me, and found out a few days ago that she is being induced the same day as my surgery. I want so badly to be happy for her and I had planned on going to to see her and the baby after delivery, but now the thought that I am having my uterous removed while a few rooms down she will be giving birth makes me so sad and I feel like a really awful person for even thinking about that. I seen a pamper commercial and started crying, I don't know how I am going to go see her and the new baby the same night of surgery. She will be on the same floor of hospital as me and everything so it will be hard to avoid without seeming like a complete b!t@h. I feel lik a bad friend too.

I am so stressed out, I have scratched my head bloody and I just keep crying over every little thing. Lack of sleep probably didn't help.

I know everything will be ok, but that doesn't really help me much now. I need some advice, or support, or even just a hug. I don't know what to do. I am off to my pre op apt right now, and will talk to the doc, please pray he don't postpone surgery. Has anyone else felt like this right before?

I was also a nervous wreck before my surgery! And I was having strange and unexpected emotional responses to many things. My friends tried to cheer me up and keeping myself distracted was helpful. I know what I experienced is normal for me. I have had surgery before and I always become irrationally terrified, my every thought entirely consumed by the impending operation...but I was in crippling pain and losing blood faster than my body could replace it. I even passed out once or twice. My husband and family were very concerned. When I asked my doc to do it, he said absolutely, you've been through enough. I knew it was the right decision and that I was going to do it and be OK, I just didn't want to do it. It was very childish but I felt so beaten down and exhausted by the pain and blood loss from my bi-weekly cycles that wrapping my head around more pain and a long recovery seemed unfathomable and yet it was gonna happen. It may not help now, but soon you'll be on the other side like me, and you will still have the support of all these wonderful ladies. Read and prepare and keep yourself busy. You may not feel like you have it in you, but you do. We all do. Git er dunn!! Teehee....soon you'll have a story to share and help others.

Pre op is very difficult and we all struggle through this. Please discuss how you're feeling with your doctor. S/he may be able to do something to help.

Just wanted to say that I'm having surgery the same day as yours. I had really been mostly calm, until last Friday, when the hospital called to preregister me. That's when things turned quickly. I have not been sleeping well, crying at everything.
Yesterday, I sat next to a pregnant girl and kept thinking, "Wow, her uterus is working normally! Why won't mine?!"
I have 3 children, and 2 stepchildren, but that didn't make the feeling any different.

Just know *I* will be right next to you (how ever many miles apart that is) on Wednesday.

Just want to send you a {{{hug}}
you will get through this i promise!

sending a big HUG your way.
You are in the right place to express your fears and emotions -- surgery can be scary. Have trust and faith in your decision, trust in your doctors, nurses, etc., take a deep breath, and let it go.
Big HUG, big HUG, big HUG -- i'll be thinking of you on the 7th.

I'll be right there with you ladies... I'm up on the 7th too..
So BIG HUGS!!!

Thanks everyone! I am just surprised to find myself so emotional, it was unexpected. I feel a little better now after getting some sleep.
I tried talking to the doc about it at my pre-op Monday, and he started talking about '' well, you know we don't have to do the surgery now, we can wait and see or try the ablation'' and I was just like '' oh no, get me on that table and get it over with, its the waiting that's the hard part'' lol.
I'm actually a little embarrassed about this post. I was having a total freak out moment here right before I went to the doc. Oh well, maybe someone else can relate to it and it will help them to feel not so alone and weird.
(((Hugs))) ladies, we can do this and we will be better for it!